Inevitable (36 page)

This was love. Unconditional, all-consuming, mind-blowing love.

The thought of the future terrified me, but I would never give up, no matter how much she fought against her feelings or how angry she was when she woke, I’d never give up on us.

I relaxed my head next to hers; our hands intertwined and closed my eyes. She would wake up, I repeated, finally peaceful beside her, I allowed sleep to claim me.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

—Logan—

Wide Awake

I
woke to the feeling of someone squeezing my hand. My head jerked up, quickly shooting awake remembering where I was. A part of me had hoped it had all been a bad dream.

“Cassandra?” I squeezed her hand, sitting up in my chair.

“Mmmm,” she moaned groggily, her eyes still closed but lids fluttering. She was coming back to me.

“Sweetheart. It's all right, I'm here.”

Cassandra's eyes slowly flickered open. My entire body flooded with relief.

“Cassandra.” I sighed. Without releasing her hand, my other reached for the buzzer.

“Logan?” Cassandra murmured. Her voice was low, and shaky.

“Shh, don't talk, sweetheart. The nurse will be here any second.” I smiled, thankful to see her bright-clear eyes and hear her beautiful, sweet voice.

Cassandra looked confused as her gaze shifted from me to her room and finally landed down on her own body. I watched painfully, as her eyes grew wider, color draining from her face. She tried to sit up but winced when she could barely move.

A loud yelp slipped out of her throat as she stared up at the ceiling, tears springing from her eyes. I ran my hands through her hair, wanting to soothe her.

“Relax, sweetheart. Everything is going to be all right. Try to stay still.”

Her head tipped toward me, her eyebrows lowering.

“Logan?” she murmured.

I smiled wider and nodded once. “Yes, I’m here.”

I waited for her to say something, but she just continued to stare at me as if she didn’t understand or recognize me.

“Why?” She breathed after a long pause.

“Why?” I repeated, not understanding.

“Why are you here?” Her voice was so low I could barely hear her, but the hurt behind it cut through me.

I stuttered unsure where to start, how to explain just how sorry I was.

“You didn’t want me then, you can’t expect me to…” She coughed, clearing her throat. Her tongue slipped out moistening her dry lips. “…to believe you want me now, like this.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” I sighed, my body slumping forward. I gently lifted her hand desperate for more contact, and brought it to my lips.

I felt her attempt to pull away, but she was so weak.

“Please, forgive me. I didn’t—” I began.

She let out a ragged breath, her head fell weakly to the other side, out of my view.

“I was wrong,” she whispered, voice broken. “I thought…I thought we were…” She sighed. “I can never be what you want. Just leave, please.”

The sniffle that came from her broke my heart. I released her hand and brushed my fingers down her cheeks, desperate to see her face.

“Cassandra, you’ve always been I wanted. I was angry when I saw Natasha was back. She has always made me doubt everything, everyone.”

Her hand slowly moved to her face, wiping across her cheek. I considered walking around the bed to see her, but I’d done enough. If she didn’t want me to see her right now, I’d give her that. I’d give her everything I have.

I leaned forward, placing a gently chaste kiss to the nape of her neck. “I’ll never forgive myself for the things I said to you. I was terrified. Afraid of falling for you and having you leave me like she did. But you’re nothing like her and I’m ashamed I ever thought it.”

Between the occasional hushed sniffled and her body quivering I knew she was crying. It broke my heart. I did this. I always fuck things up, but this was the one time I would never recover without painful scars—to both our hearts.

The nurse entered and I ran my hands down my face, wiping away tears I didn’t realize were there.

“Pl…please, just leave,” Cassandra was so quiet, so broken, I couldn’t deny her but I refused to leave her alone.

“You should go wait outside, sir,” the nurse said, staring between us, gauging the situation.

It took everything in me to agree. I nodded and then walked around the bed and bent down face-to-face with the woman I loved. Her eyes were swollen and red, tears streaming down her bruised face, but she was still as beautiful as ever.

“I’m not giving up on us, sweetheart.” I gently traced the back of my hand up her cheek, wiping away the tears. Her eyes were so soft, so scared. “I’ll never give up. You have my heart, my soul, my everything. When you’re ready, I’ll be here.” I leaned forward cupping her cheeks and placed a tender kiss to her forehead, then stood up and walked out the door.

The walk back to the waiting room was numbing. The doors closed behind me, leaving me in the small room all alone. My body rested against the window staring out at the first snowfall of the year. I found myself wondering if Oliver was outside playing in it. He loved the snow. My mind couldn’t shake the image of Cassandra and my son laughing as they stood outside surrounded by a blanket of flurries.

The hustle and bustle from the morning shift change passed around me, never once disturbing my forlorn state of despair. My forehead pressed against the cool glass, staring out into nothing.

“Logan?”

Exhausted, I lifted my heavy head and looked back, meeting Caleb’s concerned expression.

“Felicia and Hilary just went back to see her. The nurse called and said she woke up earlier,” Caleb explained.

“I know.”

“Felicia said you sat with her overnight. Were you there when she woke up?” Caleb asked, staring at me with pity. I despised it.

With a low sigh, my eyes closed, pushing away the painful memory before finding the strength to mutter. “Yeah.”

Caleb nodded as though he understood. I pushed away from the window where I had stood for what felt like hours and ran my hands through my hair. The double doors leading to Cassandra opened and I watched a nurse walk out and head toward the elevator. She looked at us and offered a small smile, but my mind was focused back in the direction she’d come from.

The double doors separating me from the woman I desperately wished to hold.

The urge to rush inside and beg her to forgive me was overwhelming. I needed to hold her, kiss her, love her. All things I would never have a chance to do now.

The thought sent a quake down my body. One that did not go unnoticed by Caleb.

“You want me to get you something to eat? Some coffee or anything?”

With one small shake of my head, I gazed blankly past Caleb. “No. I have some business to take care of.”

I strode past him, snatched my coat from one of the chairs, and stood in front of the elevators. I slipped it one and shoved my hands in the pockets searching for my keys.

“I’ll keep you posted if there’s any news,” Caleb said.

I could only nod. It took everything I had to walk away and when the steel doors of the elevator opened, I stepped inside with a sense of alarm hovering around me.

As I looked out at the waiting room, I frowned, realizing I knew every inch of it.

I forced my hand to reach out and press the button. I wouldn’t come back. Not unless she called for me. She needed time to sort through her feelings and focus on recovering. She only needed to heal right now.

Slowly the steel doors closed.

The sharp breath I inhaled ripped through me, forcing me to brace myself on the wall. I was really leaving. My mind constantly reminded me it was for her own good. It was only for a short time but it didn’t stop the tear that feel when the lift stopped and opened to the parking garage.

My house was quiet when I walked through the front door minutes before eight in the morning. Relieved I headed straight to my bedroom and shut the door.

It took all my strength to remain calm.

Slipping out of my clothes for the first time in two days, I took a hot shower, finally washing away the stench of New Year’s Eve.

Once I had pulled on a clean T-shirt and pajama pants, I sat on the end of the bed holding my phone in my hands.

The next few minutes I spent calling my assistant and canceling every business meeting for the next two weeks. I explained it may be longer and that the older woman, who had worked for me for over five years, should send out emails immediately to my clients.

Next, I called Lawrence, my older brother and explained that I would be unavailable to handle any business deals and to expect any calls to be routed to him.

“Julia called last night,” Lawrence replied. “I understand. Take all the time you need.”

I tried to smile, thankful I had the support of my family to help while I sorted out what I could do to help Cassandra.

“Thanks,” was all I could mutter before hanging up and climbing into bed.

“I’ll call the police!”

I woke with a start. Muffled yells from downstairs pulling me from my blissful dreams of Cassandra wrapped around my body. Our limbs tangled together in my bed. Her sweet, familiar giggle filling my room. It’s how the new year was supposed to begin. The start of our future together.

A dream, that’s all it was.

“You’ll never see him again, you skanky bitch!”

I flung myself out of bed, recognizing Julia’s voice and raced out of the room.

Skidding to a stop, I looked downstairs and found Julia standing toe-to-toe with a smirking Natasha.

“I want to see Logan, now!” Natasha hissed, staring Julia dead in the eyes. Her hand rested on her hip, and she tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder.

“Get the hell out or I swear to God I’ll throw you out!”

“Logan and I belong together. You can’t stand in the way, sister.” Natasha taunted.

“I’ll never be your sister. You think I’m just going to stand back while you hook your slutty claws back into my brother?”

“You don’t really have a choice in the matter. Now, if Logan isn’t here, then I want to see Oliver.”

“Wow, you actually remembered you have a son!” Julia feigned shock.

“Where is he?”

“Logan or Oliver? Which did you come back to see?”

“Both.”

“Yet, last night when you tried to stop by you never said a word about Oliver.”

“I…I wanted to speak with Logan first.”

“Bullshit. It doesn’t matter anyway. Oliver is with my mother and Jackson and don’t
even
think about trying to get his cell number. He hates you almost as much as I do. And Logan is—”

“Right here,” I replied irritated and still exhausted, walking down the stairs toward the two women staring up at me.

Julia grimaced and rolled her eyes while Natasha watched me with a smug grin.

“Leave us, Julia.” I told her, staring straight at Natasha. I never hated anyone more. How could I have ever loved such a manipulative woman.

When we had first met, we were both still so young. My financial situation was worth little compared to my accumulated wealth now, but I never thought that mattered to her. Not until she ran off with the first old-money bags to catch her attention.