Infamous (13 page)

Jessica was sure that Sensei Joe would survive the embarrassment of having some students fail the test, but she didn’t think that’s what Kinsey needed to hear. Kinsey had been working toward this test for months. What she needed right now was confidence.

She wiggled around in her seat so she faced Kinsey in the back. “When I was about your age my dad produced a Jackie Chan movie.”

“Really?” Kinsey was wide-eyed. “That’s so cool. Did you meet him?”

“I did.” Jessica nodded. “In fact, I was on the set quite a bit. Before Jackie did any stunts, he always spent some time in his trailer meditating and visualizing the moves. He said it focused his mind. If he could do the move in his head he could do it on the set.”

Morgan looked skeptical. “Kinsey doesn’t need any of that Hollywood New Age mumbo-jumbo. All she has to do is perform the same moves she’s been performing in class for a month.” He gave Kinsey a smile in the mirror. “Piece of cake, pumpkin.”

Kinsey ignored him. “I don’t know how to meditate.”

“It’s easy,” Jessica said. “In fact, I can walk you through it right now.” She didn’t look at Morgan to see how he was taking this pronouncement. She was hardly a Zen master, but neither Morgan nor Kinsey would know the difference.

“Okay, first just make sure you’re comfortable.” Kinsey, she noticed, was plucking at the sleeves of her gi. “Relax your shoulders. Rest your hands on your thighs. Close your eyes, and breathe deeply.” Kinsey obediently followed each of the instructions.

“Great. Now take a few minutes to think about just your breath. Concentrate on breathing in and out. Make sure you are breathing all the way down in your stomach, just like you do when you practice super-slow
kata
.”

Jessica paused. She watched as Kinsey’s breathing slowed and some of the nervousness left her face. “Perfect. Now, let’s visualize all the moves you’re going to do for the test, starting with the
kata
and finishing with breaking the board.” Kinsey’s shoulders tensed a little at the mention of the board. “It’s okay,” Jessica said, hurriedly. “Remember, this is all in your head, so it’s easy. You can do everything perfectly.”

Kinsey’s shoulders relaxed again and Jessica continued. “Visualize everything exactly the way you want to do it. How do you breathe when you move? How is your body balanced? How do your arms and legs feel when they move? Remember, it’s just like a movie in your head, so everything you do is perfect.”

Jessica paused again. How long did it take to visualize the entire
kata
sequence? She counted to ten slowly before continuing. The next bit was tricky. She had never broken a board with her bare hands. She would have to rely on her imagination and the bits of instruction she had heard from Sensei Joe when she picked Kinsey up from her last class.

“Now, it’s time to break the board.” She struggled to keep the uncertainty out of her own voice. Kinsey had to believe this would work. “Relax your body and breathe into your stomach. Picture yourself starting to make the strike.
Feel
what every muscle is doing. Don’t forget all the air going out of your body when you kiai. When your hand gets to the board it becomes hard as steel. It doesn’t stop, it goes right
through
the board.”

Had she done it right? She didn’t know and it was too late to modify it. “Now you’re stepping back into your stance and making your bow to Master Kim,” she finished in a firm voice.

While she was talking, they had reached the dojo and Morgan had pulled the car into a parking spot. To her relief, he had left the engine running and not interrupted the visualization exercise. Apparently he was willing to indulge her “Hollywood New Age mumbo-jumbo.”

In the back seat, Kinsey took a deep breath and opened her eyes. “Is that it?”

Morgan killed the ignition and opened the door. “Come on, tiger, let’s go get you a yellow belt.”

As soon as she was out of the car, Kinsey spotted Rachel and ran across the parking lot to greet her. The girls linked arms and headed into the building. Jessica was relieved to see that Kinsey looked more like her normal self.

Along one wall of the dojo, a row of folding chairs had been set up for the parents to watch the test. She and Morgan took a seat and waited for the test to begin. After a few minutes of disorganization, Sensei Joe sent all the students to sit on the mat along another wall. Then he stood in the middle of the dojo and introduced Master Kim.

The first part of the test was
kata
. The students would stand in groups of three and perform the
kata
for evaluation. Kinsey was in the second group. This was the easy part. Kinsey knew the
kata
backwards and forwards. She could do it in her sleep.

Sure enough, the entire group performed flawlessly. Jessica watched proudly as Kinsey flowed from one pose into another. When they were finished, they bowed in unison and returned to their seats on the floor.

The remaining groups seemed to take forever to finish, but finally it was time for the next portion of the test. Sensei Joe stood at the front of the dojo next to a stack of small boards. Each student would approach and attempt to break a board.

The first student, a tall skinny boy with bright red hair, bowed to Sensei Joe and stepped into his fighting stance. He seemed to stand in front of the sensei for a long time. Then, with a loud “kiai” his hand came down and the board broke with a sharp crack.

One after another, the students stood up. Each one broke the board, bowed, and returned to the wall. She began to relax. This was a beginning class. The boards were not very thick. All the students were going to be able to break them. There were only three more students before Kinsey.

The next student was making his strike. His hand came down, but there was a visible pause midair. The board didn’t break. Her heart rate picked up as he bowed stoically and returned to the wall with the other students. That wasn’t going to happen to Kinsey. Jessica had seen her strikes. There were no pauses.

The next student stood up and approached the front. He glanced nervously at Sensei Joe and Master Kim before taking his stance. Again, the board didn’t break. The boy sucked in a big gulp of air and held his hand as he returned to the wall.

Jessica’s breath was coming in rapid little spurts. Her eyes traveled down the wall of students until they collided with Kinsey’s. Kinsey’s eyes were wide and shocked.
Get a grip, Jess, don’t let Kinsey see you panic.

What could she do? Parents on one wall, kids on the other. There was no time-out for a last minute pep talk. Kinsey’s face was back to being the color of her gi. Very deliberately, Jessica raised her arms slightly. She sat up straight, the way Kinsey had in the car. Then she rested her hands slowly and carefully on her thighs.

Kinsey’s eyes widened a little bit. Then she gave the barest nod. She sat up straight and looked forward toward Sensei Joe. She put her hands on her thighs. Did she look more relaxed? There was no way to tell.

The next student up was one of the biggest boys in the class. This was good. He wouldn’t have any trouble breaking the board. It would be a little boost of confidence for Kinsey to see her teammate succeed right before her.

Except he didn’t succeed. Flushing bright red, the young man went back to sit along the wall.

Kinsey was next.

Jessica kept her breathing steady and her face calm. If Kinsey looked at her, she wanted to appear confident. Inside, she was sweating buckets. It was too dangerous. Kinsey could break the bones in her hand. What was she thinking, to give Kinsey advice on this? Her visualization? Completely made up. If Kinsey failed it would be all her fault. Morgan would hate her and he would be right.

Her palms began to sweat.

She darted a glance at Morgan, sitting like the Rock of Gibraltar at her side. Kinsey stood up and walked to the front of the room. Morgan radiated utter confidence. His face was relaxed and expectant, his breathing slow and steady. Then Jessica noticed the hand resting on the side of his thigh. As she watched, his pinky finger tapped once, then again, and again — a slow steady beat.

Morgan was nervous!

She inched her sweaty palm next to the tapping pinky until they were barely touching. Morgan’s hand came down over her hers, warm and strong, and just the tiniest bit too tight.

Together they waited.

Kinsey seemed to stand in front of Sensei Joe for a long time. Jessica reminded herself to breathe. In her mind, she pictured Kinsey doing the move just as she had learned in class. She pictured Kinsey’s hand going
through
the board. She tried to pray.
Dear God, let Kinsey do this and I promise I will try to be more like June Cleaver.

Then Kinsey was moving. Her arm came up in a perfect flowing arc. Then it was moving down, almost a blur, down through the board. Kinsey’s kiai rang through the room.

The hardest thing she had ever done was to sit still in her chair at that moment. Morgan’s hand squeezed hers, and both of them grinned like fools as Kinsey walked back to her place along the wall.

• • •

Morgan tried not to be too obvious about watching Jessica through the smoke from the grill. She had invited the entire Karate class, parents and kids alike, for an afternoon pool party to celebrate the promotions. Most of the kids were in the pool. The parents were gathered in clumps on the porch and patio.

He knew Jessica was amused by him flipping burgers and toasting buns. In her life, parties were catered, even casual pool parties for children.

He had to admit he was having second thoughts about being stuck behind the grill right now. He usually enjoyed it, but right now he wanted to be next to Jessica. At some point between the visualization and the death grip she had on his hand during the test, some of the strain between them had dissipated. He had wanted to keep holding her hand, but as soon as the test was over she had been in perpetual motion — congratulating Kinsey and Rachel, reminding parents of the pool party, and producing a camera that must have the largest memory chip in California based on the number of pictures she was snapping.

Now he was stuck behind the grill, and Jessica was moving among the guests, congratulating or commiserating with parents over the tests. Almost everyone was in some form of swimwear, but he was surprised by Jessica’s choice. Instead of a pareo or designer cover-up, she was wearing a pair of board shorts and a gauzy hoodie over her bikini. Her hair was pulled through the back of a white baseball cap.

It was nothing like her sex-kitten public image. In fact, she looked more like one of the kids than one of the parents. He noticed it didn’t stop a cluster of males, young and old, from hovering around her wherever she moved. Next time, he was calling the caterer.

The next few minutes were busy as the first round of burgers came off the grill and a queue of hungry teenagers descended on him. At the end of the line, John Williams was waiting with an empty plate.

“John,” Morgan poked a patty. “Haven’t seen you in a while. Looks like our girls kicked ass today, huh?”

John nodded proudly. “Rachel’s on cloud nine. I knew she could do it, of course.”

“Yeah, piece of cake for Kinsey. Did you see that board crack?” The two men sipped their beers and shared a moment of gloating over their offspring.

“Bitsy likes your Jessica,” John finally offered.

“Nice of Bitsy to take her under her wing.” Morgan made a quick check on Jessica and breathed a little sigh of relief. She was sitting at one of the patio tables with a group of women. Bitsy Williams was with her. That should be safe enough.

• • •

Jessica leaned back in her chair, oh so casual, and sipped her diet soda. Chilled wine and beer were available for the adults, but she needed a clear head. It was her first chance to meet the other parents, her neighbors, other than quick introductions at Karate, swim team, and the million other lessons and activities that seemed required of every child. Her reception so far had been polite, but not warm. Today was a test, a chance for the other mothers to see her on her own turf. She reminded herself that the impression she made would reflect on Morgan and Kinsey.

Behind her sunglasses, she assessed the other players. Bitsy Williams was sitting next to her, a staunch lieutenant in her campaign to win acceptance. With her halo of curly blonde hair, round figure, and ready laugh, Bitsy hardly looked like a secret weapon. But Bitsy’s husband, John, had been president of the local City Council for the past ten years, a success he attributed entirely to her campaign organization. Jessica didn’t underestimate her support for a minute. Most of the other mothers were neutral players, reserving judgment until she did something that would sway them either way. The big obstacle was Andrea Mitchell.

Andrea was the president of the P.T.O. and could be a formidable enemy. According to the background she had mined from Bitsy, Andrea was recently divorced from her second husband. At the moment, she was living on alimony from husband number two and child support from husband number one. She had been setting her sights on Morgan as meal ticket number three before Jessica dropped inconveniently back into the picture. Now she was sitting across from Jessica with an insincere smile on her face.

“So, Jessica, your mother is so talented. Didn’t you ever want to act?”

“Not really,” she said. “Growing up on all those sets I never had any illusions about acting or actors being glamorous. They were just people working. I never caught the bug.”

As an opening volley, it could have been worse. It was a question she had fielded a million times.

“Well, it just seems so surprising. I mean, your father could have made you an instant star with even the least little bit of acting talent.”

Jessica just laughed. “You obviously don’t know J.T. He would never cast me just because I’m his daughter. Fortunately, it was never an issue. Mom’s welcome to be the big star of the family.”

At that point, a few of the other ladies jumped in to ask her more general questions about herself. If any of them got a little personal, she hung on to her temper.
What would June Cleaver do?
Most of them were friendly little probes, the normal things you would ask the parent of your child’s friend. That was okay. She gently probed back. Would she feel safe leaving Kinsey at this person’s home? She carefully gathered her impressions and stored them away for future study.