Loved waking up next to you…again. Had to leave early, see you tonight. D.
I look at the note and then around me and there is not a single doubt in my heart that I belong here, in this place, in this bed, in
his
bed. I smile and snuggle under the light comforter, inhaling Daniel’s scent deeply. I try, but can’t recall anything from the moment we got into the Veyron at the airport until now. He must have carried me inside and put me to bed, because otherwise I'm not sure how I made it here. The only thing that comes to mind is how exhausted I've felt since hell began. Curious, I peep under the covers. I find out I’m wearing one of Daniel’s t-shirts and smile. The one thing that would make this morning better would be if the shirt’s owner were here now, next to me, on me. Checking the time, I realize that it’s only half past seven, meaning I have plenty of time to leisurely get ready for work. At the breakfast counter I find my bag and dig in for my phone. Next to my bag there’s another note from Daniel with a car key on top of it.
Take the car.
Yes sir.
Even his memos are commanding. The keys make me grimace. These are the keys to
his
car, the same car I just recently returned when I came to say what I thought at the time was our final goodbye. A shiver runs through me at the morbid memory and I shake it away. The last thing I want is to dwell on that.
Waiting for the massive stainless steel coffee machine to produce my a.m. cardinal caffeine fix, I dial Tasha’s number.
Though it’s been just a few days since I’ve last seen Tasha, I’ve missed her a lot. Having a morning talk with Tasha is as vital as the first coffee of the day. These conversations usually take place at our royal dining area, also known as a bright orange breakfast bar that barely fits the two of us. I smile at the thought of how, even early in the morning, Tasha always looks refined, with her silky black hair, radiant green eyes and this annoying, too straight, so together posture of hers.
Though I can’t help but frown at the thought of the last time I saw Tasha. She'd gotten home from work to find me in the middle of a breakdown, crying my eyes out, after I asked Daniel to leave, right after I refused his attempt at reconciliation. At the time it had felt like too little, too late. I had been deeply hurt by the horrid feeling that the one person I loved had given up on me as quickly as he had. I couldn’t get back to him at the time, and frankly, I still harbor a serious mixture of insecurity and doubt.
“Did I wake you? Busy?” My lips pull up at the semi grunt I get in reply.
“Yes, busy. I was just having a hot and heavy makeout session with Ryan Gosling and decided that the one thing I wanted to do was answer your call.” She puffs, then chirps, “Morning! And welcome back, missy.”
“Morning. What’s with this annoyingly bright tone at the crack of dawn?”
“Glad to hear your voice, Hales, glad to hear your voice,” she says scornfully, sarcasm dripping loud and clear, which makes me giggle.
“Mm hmmm, and the real reason...?”
She snickers. “Later. First, how are you?”
“Well, I guess you know about Steven.”
“Yep, spoke to Mr. 411 yesterday.”
I snort at Tasha’s extremely suitable name for Ian.
“Also, I’ve been told that you’re in the very capable hands of Mr. Psycho.”
I smile to myself.
“Happy, Missy?”
“I am, Tash. More than I could have hoped for.”
“Will I see your royal butt home anytime soon? Or ever, now that you're getting some again?”
“Well, not tonight.” We both snicker in unison, knowing it will be hard to keep me away from Daniel, at least for the next few days.
Well, we’ve just got back together and there’s plenty of “catching up” to be done.
“
Now
will you share the reason for your disgustingly sunny mood?”
“I met someone,” she says, practically singing.
“Oh, really. I hope no one from work…” I murmur, referring to Tasha’s short, forbidden fling with her geeky boss. A moment of weakness on her part that for the life of me, I still don’t understand.
“A true comedian you are. Ha ha, cracking up here. Listen Hales, I really don’t have time now, sorry. How about lunch? I could drop by, say, around noon?”
“You can’t leave something like this hanging. A crumb?” I plea.
“Smart and sexy as hell,” she says. I can clearly hear the fervor that laces her words.
“Okay, I’ll text you when I get to work and see how the day rolls.”
“Fine, stay tuned.” She giggles. “Love ya.”
“Will do. Me too.”
As I hang up I think about just how much I’ve really missed her, and get ready for work.
I check my watch for the millionth time. The minute hand still insists on being stuck at the same place it was the last few times I checked it. I hardly slept last night; our redeye back landed somewhere around O’dark-thirty. I look around for some sort of diversion that will keep me from dozing off. How embarrassing it would be to do just that, seated at one of the front rows, during the company’s quarterly review, when the CEO is in the middle of a speech, with a clear view of my seat. I flinch when I feel a vibration in my back pocket, and when I check my phone, I see that Daniel is trying to call me. Reluctantly I press “decline” and resume my desperate hunt for a distraction, til my eyes rest on the snack table at the other end of the room.
Gawwwwwd, coffee…
The blessed roasted drink would be my absolute savior right now, but I can't just stand up and walk over there when the head of the company is monologuing, patting her own shoulder in a kind of trance. My phone, which I'm now holding against my thigh with my palm, vibrates and flickers through the cracks of my fingers, announcing an incoming message.
When I open the message I can’t restrain the snicker that escapes my mouth and quickly try to cover it with a short cough. Some heads beside me turn to look my way and I excuse myself with a coy shrug. Eagerly turning back to my phone, I expand the image with a quick swipe to get a closer look at Daniel’s sexy scarred lip. I respond with a wide grin threatening to crack my face in half.
???
Daniel: A promo, baby, for the premiere featuring my mouth and you tonight.
One text message and all my nerves stand at attention.
I will be camping outside Seacliff to secure a ticket.
Daniel: Don't bother; you’ve got center bed seat...
Not a blink of an eye later.
Daniel: Now return a favor!
My inner smile blossoms, and I look around. People seem to be engaged in this speech, I think to myself. Perhaps I should try to listen. But before I give that a try I covertly check that no one is looking my way and nonchalantly slide my phone, camera mode on, under my loose camisole and take a snap. I'm glad I have my red bra on today. I pray to any of the almighty gods on duty that the flash blinking through the fabric was noticeable to me and me alone.
Goodness, what people would make of this
.
I slide my phone back in the same casual way and check out the results, pleased.
Reciprocating…
Daniel: Room full of people and I am grinning to myself. You’ve got me appreciating technology like I never thought possible.
And here I find myself fully awake.
Chapter 6: Pending Proposal
“Did you guys clear things up?” Tasha asks, stirring her miso soup, fishing two tofu chunks out with her spoon, examining the results, and then bringing it to her mouth. I watch her closely before answering and smile; she even makes eating soup a graceful act.
“What?” She looks at me with probing green, her black hair in a tight bun, with her straight, mid-forehead bangs hanging perfectly just above impeccably trimmed eyebrows.
“Nothing, just your Tasha way.” I grin around my loaded chopsticks.
She smiles back and rolls her eyes dismissively. “So, did you? Or were you too occupied having sex?”
“Actually, we did,” I say and turn pensive. Her eyes challenge me as I do. “To my surprise, he actually admitted that he was wrong to jump to conclusions and that he should have trusted me from the beginning.”
“Is that so? That’s great.” She smiles at me. “And unusual…”
“And then he told me we should move in together.”
Tasha raises an eyebrow, smoothing her suede camel skirt onto her lean thigh.
“He also mentioned something about how he wants to take it to the next level.”
Tasha flashes wide eyes at me. She puts her spoon down in the white ceramic bowl, almost staining her short sleeved, white turtleneck with the little splash she makes.
“I knew it,” she murmurs to herself. “I told you he wasn’t playing.”
That she had…
“So, you're getting a wedding ring pretty soon?”
“Huh? Oh, no, don’t even go there.” I glare at her.
Now
here
is a thought I’ve been fighting not to think, even accidentally.
“Well, what does it sound like to you, brainy?” She sneers to herself before tasting the next spoon full of her steaming soup.
I think for a moment about her suggestion and shake my head.
NO WAY
.
I've got to change the subject; this is way too unnerving to even be thinking about.
“No way. I don’t think he will; it’s even too irrational and way too fast for him. Maybe it’s just his way of messing with me. He loves making me squirm.” I twist my mouth in a half smile. “But, if by
crazy
accident he might mean that, I’d be running faster than—” Tasha sighs dramatically and opens her mouth to speak. I wave her off, raising my hand and shaking my head.
I look her square in the eyes. “Do you really believe starting a lifetime commitment based on only a few months of acquaintance… a few months of…” Now it’s my turn to sigh.
“Love and great sex,” she finishes, with a thin, teasing smile.
“No, Tash, love and issues. Major ones.” Collectively our smiles fade. Her answer is a pensive nod. “Anyway…”
“Oh, Hales, spare me if you're about to start with your ‘I’ll never get married’ speech. I could recite that nonsense in my sleep.” We trade amused stares.
“Okay now, Missy, enough about me. So who is this mystery guy?” I look at her while chewing my mouthwatering tamago and salmon maki. Her demeanor mellows; even her shoulders fall with an infatuated kind of deflation. From the emotions running over her beautiful face it seems serious this time. “Let me help you.” I smirk at her un-Tasha-like uncertainty. “Age, job, looks, how and where did you meet him. Intro first, Missy.”
She smiles, her eyes comically dreamy.
That was fast. How long has she known him, three and a half minutes
?
And you should talk, Hales
…
“Here we go.” She straightens up, all confident, back to her signature Tasha pose. “He's in his mid-thirties. Blue eyes, black hair, tall and fit. Too hot for his own good.” Her smile is so salacious I can almost imagine her licking her lips like a satiated feline. A small meow now would seal the deal. I watch her, animated.
“He's into PR. He runs his own agency.” She thinks and adds, “We met at that new little vegetarian place near our house, which, by the way, is really good.”
“Really? It didn’t look too inviting,” I say, idly.
She 'hm's confirmation. “We could go there when you finally decide to come home.”
We exchange swift, elated gazes before she continues. “After staring at me for the longest time he finally walked over and told me he couldn’t take his eyes off me.”
“Awww. No! Really?”
Blargh…
“Hales, as cheesy as it seems, he somehow managed to make it sound honest and charming. Then he was asking me to please take it easy on him when answering if I was seeing someone.”
She has the goofiest grin on her face when she giggles. I smile, waiting for her to go on, very much enjoying her silly, girlie mood.
“He was so appealing and sincere and mature.” She takes a sip of her drink and continues. “We’ve been out every night since.”
“Wow, that’s sounds really promising and so...hmm, not you.”
“Yeah, I know,” she says. “I don’t feel like I have to play games with him. Like I said, he is so together, so mature. I’ll take the risk of sounding naïve, but he is totally what you see is what you get, no BS. None whatsoever.”
“Now that’s refreshing.”
We nod knowingly at each other, thinking about the horrors we’ve seen when it comes to douchebaggery.
“Will you consider Daniel’s offer to move in with him?”
I am momentarily both confused and distracted by the sudden change of topic. My eyes shift from my plate to Tasha’s face.
“Do
you
think I should? I’m pretty positive I shouldn’t,” I say, my determination coloring each and every syllable.
“Why not? Don’t get me wrong, the last thing I want is for you to move out, Hales.”
“I know,” I assure her. “It just feels too quick,” I add, introspectively. “Perhaps because I still don’t trust us. Yes: I am totally, hopelessly, crazy in love with him. But I’m still not sure. I still don’t feel secure about any future plans with him. I wish I could just let it all go and go with what I feel, but I'll be damned if I let myself get hurt again the way I just did.”
She studies me closely with a spoon at her lips, her eyes running across my face.
“As much as I love him, my insecurity is at an all-time high right now.”
“So you're also going to reject the upcoming marriage proposal?” she teases, smirking at me.
“Oh, come on. Don’t even joke about this. Even in the form of a joke it scares me shitless,” I say. “Stop with your idiotic fantasies. Believe me, no one is getting on one knee.”
“Maybe you, on two.” She winks playfully.
“Tash!”
“Okay, okay.” She cracks up into staccatos of giggles and I join her.
“So, when do you think I’ll see your ugly face at home?” she asks, just before we embrace goodbye.