Inner Guidance (27 page)

I was speaking to the neurosurgeon one morning, and he asked me if I knew the details of what had happened to Debbe twenty years earlier, when she had first developed an aneurysm. Of course, I knew the story, because I was there. He persisted, asking if I knew how the doctor had known it was an aneurysm, since Debbe was unconscious when admitted to the hospital. Back then, they did not have the modern, sophisticated equipment for testing that we have today.

I explained that I had worked with the doctor to help Debbe. “I had an inner experience in which I was able to see what was wrong with my sister,” I offered.

“I was guided to successfully help the doctor identify and locate the aneurysm.”

This tired and overworked surgeon then became lighter and brighter. He asked me to tell him the entire story. At the end, he asked, “Why do you suppose the Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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doctor was willing to listen to you?”

Gently, I repeated what the doctor had told me. He knew I was having a spiritual insight, receiving inner guidance. He said that he had seen this sort of thing before and he was aware that, at that moment, perhaps I knew more than anyone about Debbe’s condition.

The physician listened intently and then looked at me with teary eyes. He nodded his head in quiet understanding. Then he told me
his
story.

“The name of the doctor who operated on your sister twenty years ago is in her medical file,” he said, pointing to the folder on his desk.

“I noticed it right away because that doctor was my roommate in college. We went to medical school together up North and both became surgeons.”

What synchronicity! Twenty years apart, in different areas of the country, these former rommates had each operated on my sister. And now, here we stood, recognizing that we were in a remarkable situation. We talked about what had happened to me and how I had been guided to help Debbe and her first surgeon. As I related how the hand of God had worked so profoundly, both this surgeon and I were moved to tears. The story of my sister’s previous miraculous recovery touched this doctor’s heart.

Yet he gently admitted that he wondered why God had not intervened this time and helped him more with Debbe’s operation. It had been grueling and difficult.

My heart felt like it might break right then and there. Though Debbe was improving, I knew she was not out of the woods. In case she did not make it, I wanted the doctor to understand the depth of the spiritual experience surrounding Debbe’s first aneurysm. I could feel the love of Divine Spirit surrounding us as I carefully chose my words.

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“Things have come full circle,” I said, explaining that God’s love and guidance are still working, no matter what happens. “And if it is time for Debbe to go, I want to remind you of the second instruction I received as part of the guidance about my sister: ‘In truth, there is no death—only the illusion of death.’”

I took comfort in sharing the inspiring story of what had happened so long ago with my sister, as did the surgeon from hearing it. Debbe seemed to be improving steadily. The doctor sent many of the nurses to me, urging them to ask to hear all the details. I was happy to share the story of God’s intervention and guidance, as well as my experience in the ocean of God’s love and mercy and what I had learned there.

D
ay after day, I told the story to all who came to Debbe’s room asking to hear it. Many who came by were open to taking another step toward understanding God’s mysteries and amazing guidance. They asked how I had continued to stay so open to the Voice of God speaking to me. How was it possible to receive such clear inner guidance?

“I sing HU, an ancient name for God, as a daily spiritual exercise to keep my heart open to divine guidance,” I explained. “HU is a love song to God for people of all faiths.”

The love in the room remained palpable. Through this monumental change with Debbe, love was reaching out beyond our family into this larger group. I felt called to let everyone know that all the inner guidance anyone needed, for whatever reason, was freely available. I made it clear that by chanting HU, I was better able to hear whatever God was saying, however the guidance was delivered.

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As we talked and shared hugs and tears together, love transcended all beliefs. The hospital was abuzz with Debbe’s story, and it seemed to be one more perfect piece in the puzzle of life.

The therapists and doctors would visit each day and ask Debbe, “Do you know what day it is? The date? The year?” Debbe knew these things, and it pleased them all greatly. She was alert and aware.

One day, however, when everyone else had left her room, Debbe looked at me and stated matter-of-factly,

“Annie, 1998 was a very bad year.”

I agreed that the surgery had been difficult, but I reminded her that this was
still
1998 and that things were going well. She was healing, despite the complications of her condition. Debbe listened to my protests and reassurance and smiled at me with patience and love. Then she seemed to speak to me from some future awareness.

“Annie,” she said, “1998
was
a very bad year. It was the year I died.”

As Debbe looked at me with compassion, tears welled up in my eyes. Her demeanor was peaceful. I understood that her use of the word
bad
was not about her. It would be hard on the rest of us if she left—but not on Debbe.

As Soul, there is no death. A gentle, inner-world journey home to God, it is a graduation celebration for the one who leaves the physical body behind. Debbie already knew this; I could see it in her eyes.

I found solace in the inner guidance I had received twenty years earlier: “In truth, there is no death—only the illusion of death.”

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fter three weeks, they finally transferred Debbe out of intensive care. The doctors said she would Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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be fine; we should start making plans to take her home.

That first night she was in the new ward, the doctor told me to enjoy a good night’s rest. He sent me back to the house to sleep in a real bed for the first time in weeks. Friends had been sending cards, and I wanted to write notes to tell them the good news: Debbe was out of intensive care!

Yet when I got home, I could not write the notes.

I could not write even one. My inner guidance gently stopped me: “Not yet, just wait.”

A few hours later, the phone rang.

We were urged to return to the hospital immediately. That night, Debbe would pass quietly into the other worlds. It was time, and she knew it. I knew it.

Guided inwardly, we had both known it all along.

When I arrived at the hospital, the doctors were struggling to save her. I rushed to Debbe’s side, but she reached out and implored, “Please, no more, Annie. Let me go, please.” Her body was failing her, and she was ready.

As Debbe slipped away on her journey home, those of us who knew and loved her tried to comfort each other in our great sense of loss.

M
y inner guidance showed me clearly that my dear sister had been given a twenty-year reprieve to find a closer relationship with God. In the intervening years between her operations, she had met the love of her life and had given birth to a beautiful son, and her experiences and relationship with them had opened her heart and mind to greater love and compassion.

That last night, before I left her room to go home to rest, Debbe had whispered, “Teach me one of your prayers, Annie.”

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Debbe already knew about singing HU and had

read two Eckankar books, which she loved, but she remained a devout member of her church. Yet I understood that now she was asking something special of me, something very special.

“You want me to teach you one of my prayers, Debbe?

An ECK prayer?” I asked her tenderly.

Yes, she nodded, that was what she wanted.

“You can sing HU,” I reminded her. “That’s a love song to God that anyone of any faith can sing.”

“I want another one. Teach me another one—one I will remember,” she asked quietly.

HU is very easy to remember, but apparently Debbe wanted something different, just for her. I didn’t know exactly what. I felt this was a significant moment, and for a second or two I asked inwardly to understand what it was she needed. Ah, then the gentle awareness came.

As I do my spiritual exercises each day, I often sing HU for a while and then sit quietly and just see what comes through for me. The day before, while I sat in this quiet contemplation, I had been guided toward a new spiritual exercise. It was so straightforward that I nearly overlooked it. I actually wondered why such a simple little exercise came through to me. Now I recognized the profound wisdom of that gift and felt that, in fact, this was the prayer Debbe was seeking.

I felt it was a special token of love, a gift of healing and love from the Mahanta, the Inner Master.

I began to share it with her: “It’s really easy. You just stretch out your ten fingers, then fold them down one at a time and say, ‘Thank you, God.’ That’s all it is.

Just say, ‘Thank you, God,’ ten times as you count off with your fingers. Then repeat it if you want. It’s a prayer of gratitude.”

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Debbe smiled broadly in appreciation. As I left the room, she said good-bye, smiled again, and closed her eyes. In the hallway, I turned and took one last look at Deb through the window of her room. I saw her fingers closing, one by one, as her lips moved silently in gratitude.

“Thank you, God.” Her lips were forming the words, ever so slowly. “Thank you, God.”

This is exactly how I feel today—full of gratitude for the gift of inner guidance that provided such important prescience, wisdom, and instruction at the most profound moments of my life.

I
dreamed about Debbe the other night. She was young and happy and dressed in a pretty white blouse and flowing skirt. She was walking in a beautiful green meadow, and I was riding by in a car with the window down.

I was so excited when I saw her, and I wanted to stop and get out for a visit.

The driver of the vehicle smiled but shook his head and said we could not stop. He slowed down, however, and I waved to Debbe, who was young, strong, and beautiful again, and very real. I blew kisses in her direction. She laughed, sweetly smiled, and threw kisses back to me. Debbie was alive and well.

I awoke the next morning with the sense of her kisses all around me. I felt great love, pure and dear.

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Thy Will Be Done:

Inner Guidance and Surrender

We are learning to work with intuition, which
actually is Soul speaking to us and giving us the
gentle guidance to make our life better. Spirit is
always with us, always guiding, always protecting, always attempting to bring joy and make our
life better, but that doesn’t mean that we are
always aware and listening.

—Harold Klemp

How to Find God
36

I
nner guidance opens the doors to heaven here and now—as long as our heart remains open to receive the blessings, ever-increasing awareness, and guidance that are there.

As I learned more about the teachings of Eckankar, I came to understand a simple, yet profound spiritual truth: I am a spark of God, Soul, and I exist because of God’s love for me. I am worthy of all the blessings life has to offer.

We all are.

All lessons begin with love. We are so loved by God that there is always a spiritual guide—a guardian angel, 235

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if you will—working inwardly with us to assist us and provide guidance and direction. All we have to do is ask, listen, and follow our inner guidance—not blindly, but with faith.

I
n high school, I was best friends with a girl named Debbie. We lived close by each other and went to the same schools, first in France and then in Ger-many.

In Europe, we had the most adventurous and unique experiences and shared an amazing history together.

When we graduated, I came back to the States to attend college. Debbie married and had children, and somehow, with the demands of our separate lives, we lost contact with each other.

Even in this age of communication technology, I could not find her. For over a decade, I searched everywhere. I found many other high-school friends, but none of us could find Debbie.

It seemed inconceivable to me that, if we were both on this planet, I would not be able to find her. I searched for her on many popular Internet sites. I made calls; I followed every lead. Many years passed with no success.

I could not find my friend.

Finally, I asked for inner guidance. What must I do to find her?

O
ne of the highest forms of prayer and surrender to God is simply to say, “Thy will be done.” This act of surrender is to our highest and greatest good. It is a lesson I have been faced with many times in many different situations.

In my search for Debbie, I finally remembered to say, “Thy will be done.”

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