Authors: Samantha Blair
"I'm sorry, I just, it's all kind of new to me." I took a deep breath and continued. "I like the idea of restraint because I think it would be arousing to be immobile. I've never really tried it, but sometimes with Jake, he would be on top of me, and I always liked feeling his weight on me. It made me feel like he was in control and that made me feel—I don't know—safe? Somehow?"
"Good. We're going to explore that." I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't wait for that part. "Are you finished?" he asked, indicating my dinner. I was. He put both of our plates in the sink and then led me to the living room.
She was something else.
I'd gotten fairly good at reading people after nearly a decade of studying body language, but this girl was really throwing me for a loop. When I'd first seen her groveling before her boss, I'd taken her for a naturally submissive, not particularly brave woman. Then with her coworkers, I though
t
that she was easily influenced, swayed by their opinions. This idea was further cemented in my mind when she let me fuck her mouth and finger her pussy after the bonfire. A little push went a long way with her.
But, when she handed me her completed checklist, I was completely floored. Either she was trying to make me happy, or I had underestimated her. She'd marked only three hard limits on the whole sheet, and a small handful of soft limits. Nearly everything was checked "willing to try." There were also a few checks for things that she had done previously and enjoyed. I had never seen a beginner with such an adventurous checklist.
I really wanted to know what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. It had to be one of two things. Either she was so desperate for my approval that she was willing to do anything, or she was really kinky by nature and totally didn't know it. I guess
ed
it could also be a combination of the two. What on earth had happened to this girl that she would need the approval of others so badly?
She was incredibly nervous. That much was obvious. Usually I found it endearing
—
there was something about a woman's fear that was a massive aphrodisiac for me
.
B
ut with Kat it had me kind of worried. I really needed to get to the bottom of her reason for being here. I was missing too much information, and I couldn't go any further until I got some of it. With a woman as young as she was, this kind of relationship could be seriously damaging if not properly handled. If I was going to be responsible for her, we were going to do this right. I moved her into the living room after dinner where we could be more comfortable.
"Kat, I've got to ask you some serious questions, and I really need for you to be honest with me. By doing this I am taking responsibility for your well
-
being, and that means your mental health as well as your physical health. I don't know you very well, which means that you have to tell me some things. I wouldn't ask questions like this if I didn't need to know the answers, okay?"
She bit her bottom lip, but nodded her head at me.
"Were you abused as a child?"
"What?" Clearly my little introduction speech hadn't properly prepared her.
"Kat, some women want to be submissives because they've become comfortable with the idea of hitting. Some women can't process pleasure without pain, as a result of the abuse they endured. I don't think that's the case with you, but I need to know for sure. Did someone hit you or sexually abuse you as a child?"
"No. My dad was a good dad. No one ever hit me."
"Did he use spanking as a form of discipline or punishment?"
"No. He grounded me and threatened to keep me in a holding cell."
I laughed. That sounded like Mark.
"Okay. How about your mom?"
"She died a couple of years ago. I really didn't know her very well. She left us when I was just a baby, and she'd breeze through town now and then, but she was never really a very stable parental figure for me. God, I feel like you're my shrink or something."
I shrugged. "Bartenders and Dominants are all really psychologists in disguise."
"Yeah, well, I don't really see what this has to do with wanting to tie me to your bed." Her tone was very defensive. She was lashing out at me, and I wasn't sure why. It was time to reassert some authority.
"If you take that tone of voice with me again," I said very calmly, looking right into her eyes
,
"I will punish you. You will not enjoy it. Do you understand?"
She lowered her eyes immediately and mumbled a "
S
orry." I let it go for now.
"Kat, it is not my intention to aggravate you. I promise you that it won't always be like this. However, you came here tonight and handed me a checklist that pretty much tells me that you want me to be rough with you, potentially
very
rough. That's not bad, and it's not wrong, but it is a little unusual."
She blushed and twisted her fingers in her hands.
"We all have needs, Kat, and I have to understand what your needs are. In a car, I make a terrible passenger, because I have to be in control. If we're going somewhere, I need to drive. That carries over into the bedroom for me. I need to have control over my sexual situations. I get off on the power that comes from having another human being under my control. I also get enjoyment out of teaching a woman to submit. I prefer women with limited experience."
"Is that why you picked me?" she asked. "Because you thought I was inexperienced?"
"Partially," I answered truthfully. "I'm not sure I would
ever have
approached you if I hadn't overheard your conversation in the store the other day, though. I didn't like the idea that you might listen to her. Your submissive nature is beautiful and incredibly arousing to me. I would hate it if you left it unexplored because you thought you'd be ridiculed for it. I want to encourage you. I want
to
help you discover who you are. I don't want you to feel like you are in any way inadequate."
"Okay." She gave me a tremulous smile.
"I already know that you need to be controlled. The way you respond to aggression is incredibly telling, but I still don't know why. I need for you to tell me why you want this. Why did you agree to come to that bonfire?"
She swallowed hard before she looked up at me again. Before she even opened her mouth I knew that she'd made the decision to tell me the truth. She was ready to have it all out in the open.
"I came to the bonfire because you told me that I was desirable, and I believed you. It sounds needy and desperate and stupid, but truthfully, I just wanted you to pay attention to me. I spend a lot of time alone. I always have. My dad works a lot, my mom was never around, I've never fit in all that well with my peers, and even Jake–well, Jake paid attention to me, but he treated me like I was fragile, breakable. When you look at me it feels like you want to consume me. You are sure and confident, and extremely masculine, and when I'm around you, I don't have to feel embarrassed for having the fantasies that I have. I feel like you get it, like you won't judge me for it."
I wanted to comment, but she was on a roll and I hated to interrupt her. She was finally getting somewhere with expressing her feelings to me. I nodded my encouragement to her.
"And the other thing that I really liked," she continued, "was when you said that I had a choice to obey or not obey, and then I would face the consequences of my actions. I wish that all of life were like that. I wish it were more black and white, where I could see the results of my actions. So many times you do things and you think it's going to work out and then it doesn't, and it's inconsistent and frustrating. I would really like, for once, to not have to be responsible for everything. I don't want to worry about the outcome. I don't want to make all the decisions all the time. Sometimes I just want to have the experience without the worrying."
"Thank you, Kat," I said. "That was the answer I needed. I will help you with that. I will take the responsibility. When you are with me, I want you to be worried about
only
one thing
,
and that is pleasing me. I'll take care of everything else. You just concentrate on doing what I tell you to do. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Want to try it out?" I asked. This adorable little smile graced her lips and she nodded.
"Good girl. What are your safewords?"
"Yellow and red."
"Right. Let's start with proper forms of address. When we are alone you will call me ‘Sir
.
’ Can you do that?"
"Yes, Sir."
I smiled. She was a fucking natural. "What's your real name?" She looked confused. "Is it really Kat, or is that short for something?"
"Oh, it's short for Katlyn."
"Sir."
"Right, Sir. Sorry, Sir."
I tried not to laugh. She was adorable, but I was going to have to be a little firmer with her if she was going to learn.
"Katlyn is a very pretty name. I think it suits you."
"Thank you, Sir. Can I ask a question?"
"Yes you may."
"Why
“
Sir
”
and not
“
Master
”
?"
"We have a limited amount of time, as you are leaving for school in the fall. I don't have enough time to fully train you and collar you as my sub. I want you to think of me as your teacher, not your master. Do you understand?"
"Yeah."
I gave her a stern look.
"I mean, yes, Sir."
I smirked at her. "Tell me, Katlyn. Did you like sucking my cock in front of the fire the other night?"
"Yes, Sir."
No hesitation on that one. Interesting.
"Good. Stay here a minute." I got up and went into my bedroom. I'd had a couple of things planned for tonight depending on what she put on her checklist. I didn't want to push too far too fast, but I was anxious to get started, and I knew that she was too.
She was going to be a fascinating study. It sounded like she didn't have a history of physical abuse, but I was able to put some of the pieces together. She'd been abandoned by her mother, and while her father seemed to be a pretty good guy, I had a feeling that being a single dad to a teenage daughter was not easy.
She seemed to glow when I complimented her, which led me to believe that she hadn't been praised a whole lot in her life. I didn't think her impression of herself was very accurate. She had some self-esteem issues, despite her intelligence and natural beauty. She seemed to be missing a sense of belonging. She carried a lot of responsibility for
someone
as young as she was. If I could help to take some of that load off of her, I was sure she would open up more. She was clearly very independent at a young age, and now she wanted to experience dependency on another person.
I pulled a short length of nylon rope out of the drawer and pulled one of the pillows off of the bed. Typically I used my bedroom rather than the living room, but I wanted to start her out fairly easy, and I was afraid that the bedroom would be too intimidating for her. I had to remind myself to take it slowly. The bravado on her checklist was not necessar
il
y going to make a true appearance any time soon.
I returned to the living room where she was waiting patiently on the couch. "Stand up and take off your clothes," I commanded. I deliberately didn't look her in the eye, instead focusing on putting the pillow on the floor and stretching out the rope so that she could see it. By not making eye contact she would have less of an opportunity to argue. My expectations were clear.
She stood and shifted her weight from foot to foot. She made no move toward stripping.
"I won't tell you twice," I said.
"What? You mean now?"
s
he stammered. She was not confused. She just wanted me to make it easy on her.
"Yes, Katlyn. Strip. Now. And I won't tolerate your lack of respect. If you want me anywhere near you, you will respect my orders."
"Sorry, Sir," she said. She to
ok
off her shoes and then slowly made to undo the buttons of her shirt. I watched her undress. The slight tremor in her hands revealed her nervousness. She managed to get her shirt and pants off without too much trouble, but her bra and panties proved a little harder. I knew it could be intimidating. I had touched her, but I hadn't made her strip for me. In fact I had seen very little of her body. I wondered if she'd ever really been on display like this before. I was guessing not. Peeling clothes off in the heat of the moment was very different from standing alone and undressing while someone else watched. All things considered, she was doing well.
I didn't want to push too hard. The first couple of sessions were always the hardest with a new sub. Even if you talked about it up front, when it came time for action you never really knew how far to go the first
few
times. So you made the best decisions that you could and reminded the sub that
there were
always safewords. The comfort would come with time.