Innocent Lies (23 page)

I nodded, not wanting to hear
anymore at that moment. That night could have only held more
secrets and lies. I wanted it to stop. I would had followed Ethan
to the end of the world. If only I knew where each twist in the
road would had taken us. I shook my head. There was no turning
back. I was in too deep to ever leave him even if he did pay to end
my life. It was no mystery to me when the encounter was supposed to
have taken place. The night he rushed me from that drive-in. The
night he handed over a wad of cash to that kindly, older man. The
night he left me. We both needed to find closure from the past if
we ever planned on moving forward. After all, if I could stand in
the family home of my attacker and enjoy myself I could handle
almost anything. “How much am I worth?”

His lip did that cute, Elvis
snarl. “You’re priceless. Why are you asking something like
that?”

“How much did you
give that man for my murder?” This time I didn’t look away. I had
never wanted to see his eyes more.

“Twenty thousand dollars.” The hand
not rounded tightly around mine clenched into an immediate fist. He
pounded the steering wheel over and over before skidding to the
curb. He crushed me to his side and gently kissed the top of my
head. “I couldn’t do it, Privy. I didn’t want you to hurt, so I
tried to make sure that you didn’t hurt. That no one hurt you.” He
spoke into my hair. “But babe, that night all I could do was watch
you. It was no doubt in my mind, I couldn’t live in a world without
you in it. You were the one thing that has kept me focused the last
five years. I couldn’t let anyone touch you. Let me take you
somewhere and hold you, I will tell you everything.”

I nodded. He had
already had more than his fair share of times to hurt me, but there
I sat happier than I’ve ever been. That was right. I was beyond
happy. Even after everything I learned, I had never been happier in
my life.
You are an idiot,
Dylan. An overly happy and content idiot.

“I hope you got
your money back.” I wiped back one of those annoying tears.

“I don’t give a damn about the
money.” He swiped the button on the radio with the side of his
hand, blurring the music. He squared off his shoulders as he
gripped the steering wheel. His jaw went tense. His whole demeanor
changed. He grew hard and commanding. I couldn’t help but to
believe that was the Ethan that visited the club.

“
Where are you taking me?” I switched off the
radio. He was not going to tune me off.
Or treat me like one
of his whores.

“
With me,” he forcibly whispered and licked his
lips.
Oh, yes,
I had the dominant Ethan on my hands.

“
Where are
YOU
going?”
Those women might not question him, but I was not one of his
‘girls’. I was the one.
Or am
I?

He kneaded his fingers deep into
my thighs. “Not a chance.”

A chance? Why did that word always
seem to haunt me when I was hurting the most?

“Is there a chance you made up this
story to protect your mom?” The smooth dressed lawyer leaned over
and propped his hands on the stand I was sitting in and accused
me.

Bile rose to my throat as
everything played out in front of me. Even the simple task of
breathing became a challenge.

I scanned the courtroom. Larry
O’Neal, the district attorney, appeared to want to beat the lawyer
that was mentally mauling me to death. He was getting louder, but
all I heard was my pulse thumping in my ears. I caught a glimpse of
Jamie, out of the corner of my eye. I stared him down to prove to
myself that he didn’t win. He might have terrorized me, but I
couldn’t let him win. Jamie smiled at me. I flipped my head. I
couldn’t bear to look at the support system of the man who used me,
abused me, and left me for dead as if I was lower than excrement on
his shoes. How anyone could support a beast like that was beyond
me.

“Didn’t you often
trade sexual favors for drugs?” The lawyer was in my face.

“Never, I was a
virgin . . .” I felt as if the air had been sucked from the room. I
grasped for a breath, but took nothing in. My vision went blurry as
I collapsed to the floor.

“Babe, come back
to me.” Ethan shifted in the seat and pulled me over onto his lap.
It was not until that moment that I realized we were sitting on the
side of the road. “Privy, it’s me.”

I gripped the sleeve of Ethan’s
shirt and hid my face in his shoulder. A tremor slithered up my
spine.

“You’re pale. Where did you
go?”

“E, do you really want someone like
me, used, dirty, and . . .”

“Shut up, don’t
even finish that sentence. You’re none of those things,” he
snapped. I flinched at Ethan’s harsh tone.

He caressed my cheek with the side
of his hand, touching me as if he had to make sure I was actually
there. He had more than enough reasons to run, but instead he had
spent every moment trying to hold on to me. He brought his lips to
mine and run his tongue along my bottom lip. My throat went dry as
his mouth melted into mine. I pushed him back. We needed to talk
and the direction his hands where headed would lead us somewhere
beside a serious conversation.

“You were there.”

“Where?” There was
obvious distress in his voice.

“Court, you know
all the horrible things they did to me.” I placed my forehead
against his neck and took in his smell.

“Yeah, what THEY did to you. Privy,
that has nothing to do with you. If anything it makes you
unbelievably strong, because you lived through it and came out sane
and able to smile.”

“Why do I not feel
broken when I’m with you?” I glanced up at him and was taken aback
by the way he was looking at me. As if I was the most delicious
buffet and he was a starving man.

“Because you were
never broken. We just didn’t have all the pieces until we had each
other.” His lips twitched with a trace of a smile.

“You should really write a book on
romancing the opposite sex.”

“Most girls would
declare me less than romantic. Only with you, babe. Only you.” He
kissed the top of my nose and paused. “We need to go, if we ever
plan on getting there. Privy, stay with me. I’m not sure what
triggers your mind to go back to those horrible places, but tonight
I need you to stay with me.” He lightly kissed me one more time and
slid me out of his lap, but still close by his side.

He drove in silence. We didn’t
need words. I was content to sit quietly and contemplate where to
go from there.

Sunday, November 23,
2014

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t
keep from nodding off. Ethan had driven for hours. Where? I had no
idea and really didn’t care because by the way he clicked his
tongue; I knew when we arrived all the secrets would be
exposed.

“You’re drooling.” Ethan whispered,
waking me up. His face was smashed into my hair. “Who are you
dreaming about?”

I sat up and noticed
the wet spot on his shoulder. I wiped the dribble out of the corner
of my mouth and blushed.
If
I’m drooling, I could only be dreaming of you and what you do to
me.
I smiled.

“I dream of you,
often.” He said and took a nip at my ear. He hopped out of the
truck and started to help me out. I didn’t just want to get out. I
wanted to be as close to him as I could possibly get. I flung
myself into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. I loved
how his hands instantly gripped my butt. “If this is any indication
as to what you were dreaming, we might have to act it out
later.”

I hugged him tight, not ready to
laugh. That is when I noticed we were standing in the middle of
acres upon acres of the wide-open countryside. There was not a tree
in sight. A clear view of the night sky draped around us like a
heavy cloak. This was Ethan’s small sliver of heaven on
earth.

“This is the place you told me
about?”

“My grandparents’.”

He had told me about that place
numerous times. It was the home of his mother’s parents. I felt a
sense of pride that he wanted to share it with me. I squirmed in
his arms. He refused to let me down. He pressed my back to the hood
of the truck and massaged his fingers into my ass.

“Why here?” I asked.

“I wanted you to
see it. Plus, I couldn’t think of a better place to be than here
with my favorite girl.”

I leaned in for a
kiss, but Ethan released me, letting me slip to the ground. He
opened the tailgate to the bed of the truck. My heart started
racing as fast as it did the night his brother threw me in the back
of his. I felt myself losing control.
Don’t go there, Dylan. Jamie is not here. He is not
even alive.
I reached for
Ethan’s hand. I needed to feel his skin against mine. I looked up
at the sky, unable to face the sight of an empty truck bed.
Strangely, Ethan’s hand seemed off. He knew and still thought I
would have climbed into the back of that truck with him. On the
very night, I learned he tried to kill me. Ethan took a step toward
the truck. He glanced back at me over his shoulder and
smiled.

He dropped whatever he was
holding, turning he had me in his arms. “Breathe, Privy.” He
whispered in my ear.

“I can’t . . . I
haven’t . . . please don’t ask me to lay in that.” I pointed to the
back of the truck and shook. “I’ve haven’t been in one since . . .”
I obscured my face against his chest and started to cry.

“Oh, Dylan, my
sweet, sweet Privy, no, I was just getting the camping gear out. I
asked Kristina to load up my camping crap when you were talking to
Charlie.” He cupped my face in his hands. “Babe, don’t go there. I
would never ask you to do anything that would make you feel
uncomfortable.” He stroked my cheeks with the pad of his thumb,
wiping away my tears.

“Why are you so good to me? Why do
you keep putting up with my shit?” I clenched my shaking hands
around his back.

“I love you.” He broke out into a
mega-watt smile that sealed my heart only for him forever. “Stand
right here.” He kissed my forehead.

My jaws ached, my muscles ached,
everywhere ached. I was a ball of clenched nerves. Ethan turned my
back toward the truck. He didn’t want me to face my fears that
night. It would be hard enough as it was. I heard him gather his
‘crap’ together. But didn’t hear his footsteps until he was at my
back.

“I’m scared, too.”
He said and a rush of his breath spread down my neck.

I zoned out, but I didn’t go back
to that fateful night. I went numb, ready for anything. He fanned
out an air mattress and squatted down to pump it up. I watched the
mattress inflate and couldn’t help but to wonder if it would be a
night of making love out under the stars or a night of
heartbreak?

I watched as Ethan meticulously
set up the campsite, still unable to move. I was terrified of where
to go from there. He took my hand and guided me to sit on the
mattress that was covered with a set of sheets and an oversize
sleeping bag. He worked a piece of hair behind my ear.

“You want to start light or get to
the hard stuff?”

I peeked up at him, letting my
hair fall around my face. “Th..eee ha..rrrd.” I
stuttered.

He laid back and tucked me onto
his chest. He played with my hair. It seemed to pacify him and,
maybe even, comfort him. “When I gave the money for your
scholarship, I also paid a fair amount to seal your records. I
didn’t want anyone finding you. I think including me. For some
reason, I still don’t understand, but I couldn’t get you off my
mind. I’ve thought about you every day since that attack. Then in
court.” He sounded like he was tearing up. “You were so strong and
beautiful. It was hard not to beat the hell out of our lawyer for
the way he was treating you, but you held your own.”

“I had the truth
on my side.” I twisted a button on his shirt until it fell off.
Ethan didn’t say anything so I started on a new one.

“What really hurt was when you set
down in the gallery after you got through testifying. I realized
that you had no one there for you. It broke my heart. My ass of a
brother had a room full of people.” He kissed the top of my head.
“You, this sweet angel that had been through hell, had no
one.”