Insatiable (32 page)

"Yes," her voice strained. It was the first time she'd spoken to him all day. Deena hoped and prayed that things would go horribly wrong for him. She hoped that somehow, someone would find them and shoot him in the head before he had a chance to hurt anyone else.

Mid-way through the fundraiser, Aurora eyed a woman chatting it up with Liam. It wasn’t the woman that got to her, it was the small child she was holding. The bundled up baby looked adorable, and when she handed the child to Liam, Aurora felt her heart break. Not in a very long time had she seen such a look, it was a look of contentment. One that could only be derived from holding a child in your arms. It was clear to her that Liam was a natural and would someday make a great dad.

She sat and watched as he cooed and smiled at the baby. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight before her. But then her smile faded as she thought of herself as selfish. Surely Liam would want to have children someday and someday soon. Neither one of them was getting any younger, and she'd made it clear to him that she didn’t want to have children. Her mind went back to the past; it was right after the accident. She'd given birth to the still born baby and the doctor told her that it was likely that she would no longer be able to bare children. He told her that because of the abdominal trauma, she might have major problems should she become pregnant again.

It was a chance that she was not willing to take, the emotional strain alone would become added stress. There was no way she could go through that again and she was sure that sooner or later, no matter how much he'd support her and be there for her, Liam would end up holding it against her. She was going to have to sit him down and talk to him about it. There was no doubt that he cared about her, but was it enough? Just because she was deprived a child, didn’t mean that Liam had to suffer the same fate. Yes, she'd sit him down and talk about it, and if he wanted a child, she would have to do what she felt in her heart was right, she'd have to let him go. The fact that she was falling in love with him was of no consequence at all, seeing him happy and fulfilled was more important.

After he'd checked them out of the motel, he managed to get Deena into the car without incident. To anyone watching, they looked like a young couple love, and that was just what he was going for. Deena was glad to feel the sunlight on her face, and the cold blast of air that she felt as they exited the room was more than welcoming.  She was just about to feel human again when he spoke. "I want you to go over your lines on the way there. I need everything to go just like I planned you got that?" He squeezed her thigh so tight that she winced in pain. "Yes," she murmured. "After I make the call, will you let me go?" Her voice quivered when she spoke.

He was pulling out of the parking lot and stepped on the brakes. "Oh don’t worry, you'll go. Right after Aurora, you and me are leaving this godforsaken place babe, I told you that. Now trust me okay? Everything is going to be alright, now take this," he said and shoved the little blue pill down her throat. The drive to the bungalow was too short for Deena, she hadn't seen the outside world in days and she marveled at the scenery. She began to think about a poem she'd written months ago, but his shove brought her back to reality.

"You better be going over your lines." His voice was gruff. When she nodded her head he made her recite them out loud. She'd done what he asked and memorized word for word what he wanted her to say when she called Aurora. "Damn girl, that's some memory you got there. Hmmm, good memory, good dick sucking, and good fucking. A guy couldn't ask for more," he said and teasingly slapped her in the face. He could tell that the pill was taking affect and by the time they'd gotten to the bungalow, Deena was open and submissive, she was his to do with what he wanted.

While he prepared the small bungalow, he daydreamed about how it would all go down. Aurora would show up there, and when she walked in, he'd take her by surprise. The thought alone made him salivate with delight. He felt more alive than he'd ever been. Not even when he was killing Ken Holmes and Ronnie Carr had he felt such energy. He supposed that there was no judgment out in the woods. He felt as if he were finally home. No, he wasn’t in the jungle but in the woods, where killing was still a part of nature's design. How befitting, he grinned.

Come nightfall, Aurora Collins will be here and he had no doubt that she would beg for her life. He began talking to Deena as if she were a willing participant in the entire scheme.  "You see Deena, out here in the woods, the strong sustain their place in the order by praying on the weaker. And killing is always part of the plan. People like Ken, Ronnie, and Aurora are the weak ones. Even you Deena, you're weak too. You allowed yourself to be taken by me, and why? Because you thought that I looked harmless didn’t you? I bet you said to yourself, this guy is too good looking to be a killer or anything like that. That's what you said to yourself didn’t you?" He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "You sad pathetic thing you, I bet you're sorry now aren’t you?"

Deena rolled her eyes in weakness and gave a weary smile. "Sure, whatever you say." The words floated out of her as if they were not her own. She was off somewhere else and wherever she was, he hoped that she was enjoying her stay, because her euphoria wasn’t going to last much longer. While her head lulled back and forth, he stood behind her and stretched. The place was perfect. Not only for carrying out his plan, but also for the excellent location. It was as if he'd found a remote corner of wilderness.

Here, the urge for what he was about to do would be understood.  Back at home, he'd always felt out of place, but here and now he realized that the urge to kill had always been in him. He'd just done a very good job at keeping it hidden. There were times when the desire would get the better of him and he would travel out to the woods looking for animals to hunt and kill. But his hunting wasn’t for sport, it was for personal gratification. There was nothing like catching an animal and snapping it's neck or picking apart the carcass of a dog or a cat. He never felt remorseful afterwards, nor did he feel remorseful after killing Ken and Ronnie. They were abusers after all, and they deserved it.

He was glad that Aurora had managed to have alibi's for both murders. That part of his plan had been royally fucked up, he hadn't thought everything through, but in the long run it made things all the better. Now he could have her all to himself and do what he wanted to her without interference. Punishment by the law would have been too easy for her anyway, he thought to himself. "She deserves nothing less than severe pain, inside and out and it's my honor to be the one to provide her with that pain," he murmured.

"Liam." Aurora's voice was barely a whisper, it was a quiet fear of his response that made her anxious. They'd gotten back from the fundraiser hours ago and she didn’t want to put things off any longer. With her arms crossed and her fingers digging into her sides, she stepped closer.

"What is it?" he asked her. The muscles in his jaw began to quiver and a horrible knot began to build in his stomach, something was wrong.

"I need to talk to you." 

At the fundraiser today, she'd seen enough, seen enough to tell herself that the time had come.

"You're angry," he said and sat down next to her. They were alone in the loft and now that she had his attention, she didn’t know where to begin.

"Liam, I saw you holding that beautiful baby boy today and it got me thinking."

He leveled his breathing, kept his eyes on hers as he continued to listen.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" the words snapped out of him.

"What in god's name have you got to apologize to me for?"

"For not wanting a child. Liam I know that it's a bit presumptuous of me to think that we would ever reach that level, but ever since you asked me about it I just assumed that you were thinking it too, am I right?"

Liam nodded in agreement. He did want a child; he wanted a child with Aurora.

"You don’t owe me anymore explanations Aurora. I know where you stand on the subject."

Liam shut his eyes for a moment and shook his head. His words were coming out all wrong, they were cold and distant.

"I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. What I mean to say is, you've made it clear that you don’t want to talk about it, and I respect that."

She moved closer to him. "Liam, you're right I was finished talking about it, but it was selfish of me to think that you were finished talking about it. I mean damn, we haven’t even told one another that we love each other and here we are talking about babies. I know, I know," she nodded her head. "I'm the one that brought it up this time, but I want you to know that after seeing you with that baby today, something inside me made me want to ask. I need to know Liam, can you be happy with someone like me. I'm broken Liam. And I don’t know if I can be fixed. Can you love someone who cannot give you everything that you want or need?" Her tone was direct now, and she looked at him with intensity.

The light in his eyes dimmed. "You're not broken, Aurora, you're not. You think you are right now, but you're not. "

"Trust me," she answered, looking into his deep blue eyes. "I'm broken and if you have any sense, you'll run and get as far away from me as possible. Liam, I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you for wanting a child. You can't possibly sit there and tell me that you're willing to give up the most wonderful, stunning, and breathtaking moment of seeing your child being born just to be with me. And if your answer is yes, than you're a liar, plain and simple."

Liam sat speechless. She was right, nothing in the world compared to watching your child being born. That very moment when he or she enters the world. His head was spinning from the truths that Aurora was throwing at him, but there was one truth that she failed to mention.

He took her hands in his and began to speak. "Aurora, I love you."

The words slid through her like faith and yearning and all things good.  "Things are so simple when they're right, and this is right Aurora."

He stood up and pulled her into his arms. "I love you too Liam. But I cannot give you a child."

He held onto her tighter. "We'll adopt or get a surrogate. I love you and what I want is a life with you. If anything else was meant to be, then it will be, and if we've got to give a little push here and there to make that happen then so be it, we'll do it together."

"Liam, are you sure? I don’t want you to say any of this unless you're sure."

"Yes I am sure, you are the woman that I love and I want you in my life."

"I just don’t want you to be disappointed."

"Are you kidding? The woman that I love just told me that she loves me back, how could I be disappointed?" 

She let her eyes close as his fingers dipped and traced along her face. Gathering her close, he held her. "I will never hurt you, Aurora."

"I know." She was certain of this now; she could be sure of it as his lips lowered to her awaiting mouth. For Aurora, it was a very intimate moment.  She'd never experienced such love and warmth coming from a man. Let alone a man who just proclaimed his love for her and she'd told him the same thing and the words flowed out of her mouth with such ease it was as if she'd been longing to say them. And maybe she had, being with Liam made her incredibly happy, he was the extra something that had been missing from her life. Extra because although her life was already fulfilling, with Liam in it, that tiny, minuscule void had suddenly been overfilled and she wanted to take in all of it.

While he held Aurora, he thought about a special moment that he and his mother had shared days before she passed away. They'd been having one of their heart to hearts and she told him that when he found himself getting serious with a woman, he should ask himself if he can live without her. She told him that if the answer was yes, then he should let her go and not string her alone. "Don’t prolong the hurt any longer than need be son," she told him. "It's best to sever ties before she gets too attached."

"And what if the answer is no? What if I can't live without her? What do I do then?"

"Well that's simple," she said and patted his hand. "Then you make her yours forever." She smiled weakly at him. He was so very glad that he was able to share such moments with his mom. After the fiasco his dad and step-mother caused at Thanksgiving, he was sure that his father wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him for a very long time. And Liam was okay with that. His father had made it quite obvious that he hadn't changed, so Liam thought it was best to let him live in his own little world, wrapped up in his own selfishness. 

"What are you thinking about?" Aurora asked.

"Just you Aurora, just you," he smiled at her. "Something tells me that we've reached a significant turning point in our relationship," he beamed.

"Liam, I've been piloting my own ship for so long that having anyone want to take over the wheel just seems so, well, wrong. But the more I got to know you and the way you make me feel, everything about you makes it alright. So I guess you're right, we have reached a significant turning point and I'm happy about that."

She stepped forward and pressed her body hard against his. Immediately his cock spiked.

"Now how should we celebrate this significant turning point?" She asked and clamped her hands on his butt.

Desperate for his touch she pulled his hand down and held it firmly between her legs. He could feel the heat coming from her. Heat and was there a vibration? Aurora cursed at vibrating tone of her cell phone. "Don’t answer it," He groaned.

"I have to. It could be someone who needs help."

And she was right, the moment she answered the call, Aurora could hear the panic in Deena's voice.

"He's gone crazy!" Deena screamed through the phone.  Between the sobbing and the shouts coming from the background, Deena's voice was barely audible.

"Okay Deena, try to calm down. Can you get out of the house?"