“Marame, fuck, fuck!” Julian said, shock in his voice. Daniel stepped through the rubble. Saw what happened to Marame. Grief struck him to his core.
That’s when Daniel caught sight of that pale hair. Something pinned her in place, and he sprang forward to help. Relief rushed through him as she sat up slowly, appearing unhurt.
“Marame?” Carina leaned forward as Daniel pulled her to him.
“She’s gone,” he murmured.
“She pushed me out of the way.” Tears rolled down Carina’s cheeks as he picked her up. “You yelled, and she turned and shoved me backward, toward the doorway. She saved me.”
“We’ve got to get her out of here and to safety, Daniel,” Vincenz said, his arm in a temporary sling. “We don’t know if they have another ambush set up.”
Daniel had known Marame for a very long time. His team, his life wouldn’t be the same without her.
“Julian, stay here with her. Can you do that?” He knew Julian and Marame were as close as siblings. Julian would keep her body safe, would handle the removal and the contact with her family. It would help him process the pain.
Julian looked up, relief on his face, and nodded. “Yes, sir, of course. I’ll report to you as soon as we’ve . . .” his voice sort of wandered off track for a moment. “As soon as we’ve taken care of her.”
Feeling torn a thousand ways, Daniel headed down to the platform and out of the station where the military vehicles waited.
Chapter 20
“
T
here were three separate attacks today at the same time,” Ellis spoke as he poured himself a drink and pushed a tumbler toward Daniel. “Here in Ravena. Elsewhere, forty-eight miners were killed in a bombing in Nondal. He’s escalating.”
“In my fucking ’Verse. In my fucking control, and on my fucking watch. These animals could have killed my wife and child. They could have killed my men. This must be dealt with in such a way that they understand never to do it again.” Roman turned his gaze back to Ellis and drained his glass in one last swallow.
“This is about the chip, Roman. We have to get that data from the chip. What we know is bad enough. The rest of the data is imperative.” Ellis began to pace.
“Carina is resting right now. The doctor said it would be better for her health if you waited until tomorrow, and I’m telling you right now that you will have to get through me to harm her any more today.” Daniel said this through clenched teeth.
Ellis cocked his head, studying him before he spoke again. “It’s bad business, Operative Haws, to develop attachments to cargo.”
“With all due respect, Comandante, fuck you.”
That got Roman’s full attention as he set the glass on a low table, watching, but saying nothing.
“She’s not cargo. She risked her godsdamned life to come here and help us. My operative lost her life to protect Carina’s. I won’t have her health compromised any more than it is just now. And that’s far more than I’d prefer as it is. Your precious information can wait until Carina has rested.”
“I’m afraid I’d have to agree.” Abbie swept into the room.
Roman sprang up, his hands tossed into the air with frustration. “Gods damn it! Abbie get your ass back into bed.”
“You’re going to go gray with all that upset, Roman. Sit down. I’m all right.” She pushed her husband into his chair and then climbed up into his lap. Not that she was giving in. “I’m her advocate, and I’m going to tell you I will heartily disagree with any plans to deal with that chip today. I have official documentation from your own doctors advising that, and I will make your life at least a few levels of hell if you disturb her before tomorrow.” She yawned a bit, undercutting how scary she might have been otherwise, but all in that room knew she would do everything to upset any plans but the ones she endorsed just then.
Daniel kept his face as blank as he could, but he winked her way when no one was looking.
“You’re not all right. Someone might have easily killed you today. Or the babe.” Roman put a hand over her belly, and Daniel’s stalwart sister leaned into her husband, her eyes dropping closed a moment as a shadow of grief crossed her features.
Daniel had had those might-have-been moments all day long, had relived them time and again. His sister could have died, his love could have died. Roman could have died. His friend
had
died.
“Marame,” he said, standing. “I have to go make a comm, be sure her family has been informed and her interment is taken care of.”
“It’s done. My aide made the call some time ago. Her family will be here soon to claim her remains. They’ll take care of her flat. Her mother insisted it was something she had to do, so I’ve ordered it sealed until they arrive.” Ellis poured another drink. “I take it very personal when my people are killed.”
“Me, too. Julian will need some time away. My people will need a memorial of some sort. I assume she’ll receive a posthumous commendation for her service and valor.”
“It’ll be done. In the meantime, you’ll need debriefing. I’ll do it myself, and then you can go to her. You won’t heed my advice on this and have already gone and fallen in love with her.” Ellis glanced at Abbie, affection clear on his face. “You Hawses and your total lack of respect for the rules of Rank.”
“They’re dumb rules, Wil, and you know it.” Abbie moved to stand, and Roman did, too, bringing her up with him.
Wil?
“I’m putting you back in bed.” Roman moved to the door, his arm holding Abbie to his body. Daniel liked seeing how protective he was, even if he disapproved of bringing her to the portal in the first place.
Then again, telling Abbie something and expecting her to obey if she felt differently was a losing game. One Daniel had played his whole life.
It was all his fault anyway for asking her to be Carina’s advocate. Of course she’d felt as if she’d had to go to the portal.
“Don’t think I don’t know you’re all going to talk about me when you get me upstairs.”
“You are always the topic of our conversation,” Daniel called out. “If you don’t do as Roman says, I’m comming Nyna and Mai. Your choice.”
“You all gang up on me so.” She pouted as Roman guided her out of the room, closing the coded entry as he did.
“I’m going to record this.” Wilhelm tapped a few keys on the comm. “Start at the beginning. We’ll get the scan when you bring Carina to the med center tomorrow for the extraction of that chip.”
He relaxed, as Wilhelm had intended, and the questions began in earnest. He opened himself up and began to speak.
C
arina was awake when Daniel came into the huge suite of rooms they’d told her would be hers as long as she desired. She’d been sitting in a chair, pretending to read a book, and stood, going to him.
Only when he held her, only when she was sure he was solid and real and alive, did she heave out a long breath.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, gently but firmly putting her back into the chair. “You should be sleeping.”
“I’ve slept. I’ve cried. I’ve taken a pain draught, I’ve paced, looked out the windows over this lovely inner courtyard below and I’ve worried. I’m done sleeping for now.”
He put his boots in the closet and slid off his various weapons, placing them on a shelf above the shoes. “I suppose I’ll have to break myself of that between now and the baby’s birth. Can’t have weaponry lying around for little fingers to get hold of.”
Carina watched him as he spoke for the sake of making sounds. There was much there, lurking below the surface, so she waited for him to reveal it.
“Are you hungry? Warm enough?” he asked as she allowed him to steer her into bed, but she grabbed him, pulling him down with her.
“I’m glad you’re alive,” she whispered, looking up at the pale blue ceiling.
He took her hand, her uninjured hand; the other had been broken, and she’d had severe burns on her wrist and lower arm.
“I’m . . .” His breath choked from him, and alarmed, she rolled to face him, pressing her body to his, nearly crying when he cradled her arm with care, all while he sobbed. She didn’t know what to do. This outpouring was gut deep, and most likely decades built up. A man like him didn’t cry on a regular basis, even at horrible things, and she had no doubt after today that he’d seen more than his share of horrible things.
The desolation in that sound, the anguish and fear, the rage, sounded as he let it all out in great, shuddering gulps. She held her own tears in check, knowing he needed her to be strong just then, to let him be the one who broke down, if only for this once.
Some time later, he cleared his throat, dragging the back of his hand over his eyes. She’d held on to him the whole time, trying so hard with her body to tell him he wasn’t alone and she was there and alive. What they had together was there and alive.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She kept her face buried in him, breathing him in.
“For everything. Fuck, this is all just fucked sideways.”
“You do have very strong shoulders,” she mused.
He paused. “What?”
“For all that guilt you’ve taken on. You have broad shoulders, so I suppose that must help.”
“It’s not a joke, Carina. People are dead. My people are dead, civilians, twenty-two children who were waiting to get on a transport with their families who were emigrating to Sanctu.”
“And so, you’re sorry.”
He groaned.
She leaned up, got nose to nose with him. “For saving my life today? For loving me? For saving Abbie and Roman? For getting me through Imperial territory with leagues of Skorpios at our backs? Huh? Sorry for the blaster burn on your calf? For Marame? For taking a young girl with no prospects in life out of a vermin-infested settlement on the Edge and giving her a chance to be one of the finest soldiers in your military? She told me her story, Daniel. So you tell me again, what the seven hells are you sorry for?”
“It’s my job!” he burst out, sitting up and getting out of bed. “And I failed.”
She sat, using the pillows behind her back for support as she watched him. “What you do is inherently dangerous! You can’t possibly blame yourself for this.”
“Of course I can! Don’t you see, Carina? It’s my job to be sure this stuff doesn’t happen. She’s the second operative of mine to be killed on this mission. My orders brought them out, put them in danger, and I did not do my job in protecting them and now they’re dead.”
“I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m sorry about Marame and your other friend. I’m sorry about those children and the others who were killed today. If anyone is to blame, why not me? If I hadn’t run, no one would have been after me.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“No more than what you’re saying.”
He paused, his brow furrowed, such a fierce moment as he wrestled with logic and emotion. She hated that he thought he hadn’t done his job. She’d watched him with awe and respect since the moment he’d taken her hand and told her to run. It had been nearly fifteen standard days, and her life had been turned upside down. Her one constant, the thing that anchored her, was Daniel.
“You’re good at your job. My father is a bad man; you’re trying to stop him for a reason. He doesn’t care that children get caught in the middle of his war. You’re not that. You could never be that. You got me here, and hopefully this information I have will help. All this will be worth something.”
His eyes widened, and he fell to his knees next to the bed where she knelt. “Do you think this is about that?”
“What is about what?”
He took her upper arms and hauled her closer, this time his nose to hers. “You could have
died
today. If Marame hadn’t thought as fast as she had, you’d be dead. I can’t—” He shook his head.
It washed over her then, nearly knocking her back. It wasn’t the job—though that was part of it—it was her. It was losing her that scared him so much he’d broken down and wept. She threw her arms around him, sending them both tumbling to the rug.
“You love me.”
He growled, sitting up and making quick work of getting her into bed again. “Stay there! You could have injured yourself just now.”
“Again.”
He growled again and spun away, pacing.
“I’m not dying. Just so you know, I have far too much to do to die. Anyway, you love me.”
“I have to leave in the morning.”
Her grin fell away. “Why?”
“Things are very bad. I need to head back to the Edge, just a quick trip.”
“Someone need killing, or is there another woman you need to smuggle? If it’s the latter, I’m coming along.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“You have nothing to worry about in that department. One woman is more than enough worry. And to be frank, it’s rare my job entails human cargo anyway.”
She nodded once, burning to ask more but seeing on his face that he wouldn’t tell her anyway.
“I won’t go until I’m sure you’re all right. They’ll remove the data chip when I go in to get my scan. I’ll be as fast as I can to get back to you. Vincenz is here as well, resting. He’ll stay until I return. Perhaps longer, though he’s needed, too. He made it very clear that he wanted time with you, and I think it’s good you two will have it.”
“At least get naked and in bed with me. Hold me so I have this until you return.”
His face lost the tension as he moved, quick to divest himself of his clothes. She managed to get her robe off, and he helped her get beneath the blankets, sliding in with her. His heat warmed her skin, made her feel home again. She sighed, breathing him deep, risking a quick lick of the hollow of his throat.
He started listing off all the safety features, all the procedures in place to keep her unharmed, and she didn’t interrupt. She figured it was his way of controlling what he couldn’t while he was away. She would make sure he had sex with her before he left. His cock was already beginning to show signs of life against her thigh.