Inside Seka - The Platinum Princess of Porn (11 page)

In the beginning it seemed surreal to me, like a Salvador Dali painting. There was an older guy who cleaned the place up. Part of his job was to mop up the cum in the booths, which was where most of the action — solo or otherwise — was going on. It was the seventies, a liberal time, and I didn’t care what anyone else did as long as it didn’t involve me against my wishes.

Some of the customers did hit on me, but all in all they were respectful. Feeling burned by my marriage, the last thing on my mind was dating one of those guys or being intimate with anyone. I just wanted to keep to myself and get a paycheck.

Meanwhile, Frank and I continued to argue over my job for a couple of weeks. We had been married maybe eight or nine months and I was already looking for a place of my own. I found a little farm house outside of town in the country. It was away from everyone and I liked it, especially the garden. The owner said the rent was around $250 a month for three bedrooms and one bath. At eighteen, it seemed like a mansion to me, but it was just a little old farmhouse and nothing more.

I knew I had one foot out the door, although Frank was clueless and in denial. Since the massage parlor incident, I’d totally withdrawn from him and he hardly even noticed. I suppose he expected we’d just go on like that forever, which might have been fine with him, but not with me. I didn’t love him anymore and I didn’t believe he loved me in the way I felt I deserved to be loved. We had yet another argument over my job. I finally had enough and told him about the place I found and that I was going to move out. We were in the kitchen standing next to the refrigerator and there was a long window. The fight grew more heated and he grabbed me by my arms and was shaking me pretty good. My back hit the window and it shattered. That scared the shit out of me. I guess it jolted him, too, because he immediately released me.

“I’m done. I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

He just turned and walked away. I don’t think he realized how upset I was. The look on his face told me he felt bad it had come down to him getting physical.

I left the next day while he was at work. I felt sad on so many levels. Even though I was the one doing the leaving, it brought back all the feelings I’d held inside me when I was abandoned at age eight.

I went to the landlord of the new house and told him I needed to move in earlier and why. He understood and accommodated me. Unhappy as I was, it seemed kind of fresh because I was doing it on my own. It was a new beginning.

11.
Daddy’s Home

My dad came by the first two weeks to help me paint. He was a professional house painter. I hadn’t seen him since the wedding about a year before. The whole marriage was only about a year and a half from the time I said “I do” to the time the divorce papers were finalized.

I was very excited to see my dad, as we had always gotten along very well. I had no resentment at all towards him, even though he wasn’t really in my life. I was still the baby in the family and Daddy’s little girl. He really didn’t say anything to me about the marriage. He didn’t ask me any questions. More than anything, he just wanted me to be happy.

I told Dad what I was doing. I even told him about the flasher, which he thought was hilarious. But I didn’t tell him about the massage parlor job because I thought it would hurt him. It would have bothered him that his baby was in that environment, touching people. The bookstore was more sterile — no touching allowed. The only concern he ever had with my job was working night shifts. “I know how those soldiers are,” he said. But I was working the day shift, so he was appeased.

In addition to painting, he started fixing my screen doors, fixtures, plumbing, and anything else he could. He was extremely handy. I was happier than a pig in poop. I really enjoyed being around him. We had similar interests. We both liked baseball. He pitched in the Army and for a team from Austinville, Virginia. The New York Giants offered him a contract at one point, but my Mom vetoed it because she wasn’t willing to leave. He always regretted not seizing that opportunity. He loved baseball. Maybe that’s why I love baseball so much today.

It was almost like a vacation with my dad, as I had never spent much time with him before except when I was a little kid. And I was finally of legal age to drink. He was an alcoholic and I had seen him drunk a couple of times. He was a mean drunk, not a happy drunk. But during this time I never saw him out of control. I just wouldn’t bring a lot of alcohol into the house.

He absolutely adored traveling and wanted me to do the same thing. He was a big Greyhound bus rider. It was a way for him to travel, because he really couldn’t afford to travel outside the U.S. Whenever he wanted to go somewhere, he just got on a bus. To this day I have a bug for traveling. It can be as little as three hours away, but it’s fun for me.

“You’re your own person. Take some time for yourself. Enjoy yourself. And then figure out what you want.”

What I wanted at that point was some peace. I was happy being on my own for the first time in my life, without being in a children’s home or married or having to live with family. Leaving Frank, I wasn’t as upset as I thought I’d be. I thought I would feel like a failure, but I didn’t. It was actually nice waking up in the morning alone, not having to answer to anybody. I made a living for myself. Paid my bills. I could eat and have a roof over my head. It felt like an accomplishment.

Frank didn’t even call. He was out of my life completely. I didn’t want to date. I didn’t want to get that close to having a relationship. I lived out in the country so there weren’t even a lot of people around. I got to know a few of my neighbors and some of them had house parties and hung out at home, but all in all I didn’t do a lot of socializing. I didn’t drink much. If I went to a bar it was a stretch for me to figure out what to order. I would drink a beer and a little wine once in a while, but that was it.

When I went back to work and did my nine-to-five, Ken was in and out of the store as always. He went to Baltimore to buy inventory and he’d bring the merchandise back to stock the shelves. The one thing I did see in the store that was a little odd, to me at least, was bondage stuff. Clamps and masks and things. I thought, “Was there a prison somewhere I didn’t know about?” I just thought it was really weird. I came to learn bondage was different than S&M. You were bound and disciplined, as opposed to S&M, which involved physical pain. Being a clerk in a store like mine, you had to know stuff like this, believe it or not. I figured if that’s what floats your boat, fine. But it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I had no desire to inflict pain on someone or have it done to me.

Some guys would go to the magazine racks and, because of the way the store was set up, you’d just see the top of their head down to their nose. They’d stand in one place but shift around like they had to pee real bad or something. I’d come down from the counter, walk around the corner, and see a guy standing there beating off.

“Oh, man, don’t do that in the middle of the store. Buy the magazine or take it in the booth. You know I have to touch that stuff… .”

Some would drop the magazine, turn beet red, lose their hard-on, and put it back in their pants — the hard-on, not the magazine. Some would go in the back and some would leave. The ones who would leave you wouldn’t see for a week or so and then they’d come in, buy their quarters, and go straight to the back. I thought, “I turned that guy into a paying customer.”

I tried to find an amusing take on everything that happened in the store. Women masturbate, but by and large they do it at home. I adore men, I really do, but they are such strange beasts.

Ken paid me in rolls of quarters and I paid for a car in cash with all that change. I told the salesman to bring a wheelbarrow to the trunk of what I was driving because it was filled with silver. He looked at me and said, “You must be in the dirty book business.”

“As a matter of fact, I am.”

All in all, this was a happy period in my life. Ken told me he was going to take me on some of his buying trips. We’d start in Baltimore, where I’d never been before. I’d hardly ever been out of the state of Virginia, so it sounded like Paris to me. I was excited about the travel, but also because I was getting established at a job. Maybe it didn’t sound like much of a career to most people, but to me, it felt like I was going places. At least I wasn’t the guy with the cummy mop.

At my mother’s house in St. Petersburg, FL, 1973.

At Virginia Beach in 1974.

With the first boy who ever kissed me, Larry Webb.

Mike Ackers, a boy I dated one summer.

With my Cousin Pop.

12.
Ken

Ken looked like Elvis Presley. Especially his hair. And he had the attitude that he was a real cool cat to go with it. With stores in Newport News, Norfolk, Petersburg, and pretty much wherever there were Army bases or naval bases, I thought he was rich. Although he spent his money pretty well, anybody who made more than $10,000 a year seemed rich to me.