Inside Seka - The Platinum Princess of Porn (32 page)

I’d work Monday through Saturday, travel on Sunday, and start the process all over again the following Monday, just in a different city. Half the time I didn’t know where I was. Sometimes I’d wake up in the hotel and have to look at the matchbook by my bed to see what town I was in. I felt beat up after a while.

While I was on stage, I was thinking of how much money I’d be making selling the pictures and merchandise after the set. Or, “This show will get me to Mexico.” I tried to do most of my dancing in the summer months so I could go to Mexico, St. Maarten, St. Croix, and other places I loved in the winter. I’d call Chicago and find out if it was warm yet and if it wasn’t, I’d just stay longer until it was. If I needed more money, I’d call my secretary and tell her to pay my credit cards off and I’d get back to stripping.

Although I obviously preferred to be lounging on an island, I enjoyed doing the shows. And I never, ever thought of the audience or fans as losers. These were the folks who paid my bills. Stripping does give you an empowering sensation. There’s an excitement knowing that people are there just for you. It does a lot for your ego. The only thing was, it never mattered how many times I went on a stage, I was always scared to death before I went out. I didn’t want to disappoint people.

They always gave me bodyguards to go to and from the clubs to my hotels. They’d drop me off and pick me up every day. After the show they’d go with me to the area where we’d do the photos and autographs with the customers. They’d always give me these huge, gigantic bodyguards who were generally bouncers at the club.

There was this one black fellow we called Tree. He was the most massive man I’d ever seen. And his partner was pretty big himself. When I’d walk between them, nobody could even see me. The late actor Michael Clarke Duncan from
The Green Mile
was one of my bodyguards in Chicago. He, too, was one helluva big man.

Sometimes people would try to reach out, touch me, and grab a piece of clothing when I was walking to the autograph area. That was pretty scary. The security guys would just take their arms, push them back, and practically project them across the room. There was no intention of hurting them, just to get them away. There was one club in Chicago that was so packed we didn’t know how they would get me on stage. But I had some bodybuilder friends there who said they’d help me for free. They were dressed up in leather and KISS-like make-up, with spiked armbands and dog collars. It was quite a scene as they carried me above the crowd as I lay flat and felt like I was floating over the masses. If anybody started to get too close they would smack them with those spiked armbands.

Eventually, I stopped working with Chuck Traynor. While I can’t say exactly how he treated Linda Lovelace or Marilyn Chambers, I can say this: he’s an asshole. That came out rather quickly in our relationship. He treated Bo like shit and I didn’t like it. I may not have seen anything illegal or worth calling the cops about, but an asshole is an asshole, period, even if there isn’t a law against it. He tried treating me that way and I stopped him in his tracks. That put an end to that, but still, I found him unlike-able and he was making an otherwise pleasant experience unpleasant, and who needs that? Life is too short. Besides, while he may have introduced me to the field, once I’d gotten my feet wet, offers from others kept rolling in. I’d get by.

Most of the other girls at the clubs were really nice —
and
they could really dance. A lot of people have this concept that strippers are real bitchy to each other. But they’d knock on my door and ask me if I needed anything. They’d also want to know how to become a feature performer and get into the adult business. I basically recommended they do something for
Playboy,
Penthouse,
or
Club
as opposed to films. The porno industry can be cutthroat, and if you’re just doing magazines you’ll work alone. You didn’t have to worry if you like a partner or not.

I’d get offers to go out after the gigs. Some rock band would be in town like The Fabulous Thunderbirds, or good local bands. We’d both be playing at the same time so they couldn’t come to the show. They’d send flowers and invite me to go out clubbing. I got to meet Roy Orbison that way because we were in town at the same time. He was my absolute favorite performer. I still have a picture of us together.

From time to time there would be female impersonators who would come in dressed as me. There is no better compliment than someone trying to emulate you. I would make them get up on stage with me and it was hysterically funny. Some of my greatest fans are gay men. At the time there weren’t a lot of gay bookstores where they could watch gay movies. A lot of times they went to see
my
movies with John Holmes. After all, he had the biggest cock around. Even today I have a lot of gay members on my website. I’ve even had recent appearances where on certain days gay men would predominantly come and see me. Some would swoon, “Oh my GAWD, it’s Seka!” Packs of gay men crowded around me. The same with lesbians. I think I cover all bases with my fans.

As my film career got smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror of my life, attendance started to drop in the clubs and ultimately the bookings dried up. But in spite of the grueling nature of it all, some of the best times I ever had were when I was stripping.

During my dancing days, at the infamous Frank’s Chicken House in NJ, posing with some deranged fan. OMG, it’s comedian Jim Norton!

With baby-faced Jim Norton in the 1980’s. How did he get into a strip club? He looks about 12.

A pit stop during my dancing days with the crew of the USS Honolulu.

On the USS Honolulu during my dancing days. No, I did not dance on the ship, at least not professionally.

With a fan and my dancing co-star, Bo, Chuck Traynor’s last wife, in Niagara Falls, Canada.

Relaxing between gigs in St. Maarten.

35.
Sam the Man

I went to see Sam Kinison at the Vic Theater one weekend in Chicago. It’s a beautiful old theater with gilded artwork on the walls, opera boxes on the side, and graduated seating. It had been converted into a nightclub and performance palace. Bands and comedians would come in and they even had a series where you could watch classic movies while eating snacks. It was a great venue because of the ambiance and the type of unique programming presented.

I heard Sam was not only hysterical but also irreverent, which certainly appealed to me. But I didn’t know much about him except he was an ordained minister and the church he started was near the theater. I was invited to the performance and not only had backstage passes, but a great little opera box on the side of the stage. I was with a couple of friends and it was V.I.P. treatment all the way.

Suddenly, out comes this large, roaring, straggly redheaded man in an overcoat with his cap turned backwards. Most of the comedians of that era were dressed a hell of a lot better. It was like seeing a heavyset Columbo on stage. But seeing him storm out and seize the mike was like an instant jolt of energy. The place went wild. It was just amazing to watch how he worked the crowd. He literally started screaming and it made me jump out of my seat. I started to laugh uncontrollably. When I get extremely tickled like that, I can’t get my breath. I couldn’t stop laughing and was making a honking sound to the point that he stopped the act, looked at me, and he actually started laughing.

We were getting ready to leave when one of Sam’s people came over and said, “Sam would like to meet you.” I said, “Cool, but my friends have to come, too.” I didn’t go anyplace by myself if I didn’t know the person. Besides, I figured “share the wealth” — my pals wanted to meet him, too.

We went backstage and were hanging out and hitting it off. It was a really interesting chemistry. I felt very comfortable, like I had known him a long time. It wasn’t like, “I’m Sam and you have to worship me.” He was just very down-to-earth.