“
Going to the ball?” she asked bleakly. “Down that hall, there.”
She pointed to one of the halls Rein had never looked down. She noticed a small sign hanging in it, pointing to the ballroom. She nodded and thanked the lady, who looked back down at her papers.
What did the stewardess do all day? It was as if she never slept.
As she walked through the hall, through the dimness of scattered sconces and candlelit tables, she saw a large doorway to the right with withered plants and flowers in vases by it. She could hear muted music playing from inside the enormous room and the clashing of dishes and shuffling of feet. She made a quick review of herself, feeling her hair and running a hand over her dress to smooth out any wrinkles or folding in the whalebone. With her head high and posture straight, she opened one of the doors a crack and found that no one was watching her entrance. People were talking and laughing, dishes were being clanked with spoons and forks at a large buffet table, and Carden Romanoff was playing the organ beautifully next to a violinist.
With relief she found she was still unnoticed and, relaxing with a sigh, she found a corner in which to stand and observe. People passed her by and danced around her; she took a long glance around the ballroom for Traith Harker. He was nowhere to be found.
She turned, her heart sinking in her chest, and saw Saria approaching her.
She was in a long, blue, bell-shaped gown with gigot sleeves and pink gloves. It was quite a sweet dress and was very predictably the one she would prefer.
“
Do you like it?” Saria asked, obviously noticing her eyes observing.
“
It’s charming, Saria,” Rein said, smiling. “It suits you perfectly.”
“
You look like quite the beauty yourself, but I see you still won’t widen your dress.” Rein smirked as Saria spoke again. “And where’s your cravat?”
Rein’s eyes gazed down. “Oh. I forgot.”
“
I see that, because your bodice is so low,” she snickered.
Rein looked down fast, hoping it wasn’t too much. She hadn’t paid attention to it. There always seemed to be something she forgot.
“
But the low neckline does look alluring, Rein,” Saria continued, nearly to herself. “Even off the shoulder, and long, tight sleeves, and an
adorable
black lace; you know, that shows off your perfect figure immensely! I do declare! Look at the bows on your lower half. Turn around. Oh, the black bows! The lace! Oh my, Rein, that dress is beautiful even without a crinoline or cravat!”
Her praise felt wonderful.
“
Oh, fingerless, black gloves, Rein! You look ravishing!”
Rein laughed at her enthusiasm. “Thank you,” she said. “So do you!”
“
Well
, did you see Carden playing the organ?” Saria said, glancing over at the musicians. “Oh, he’s so good at it. I’m surprised he never pursued a musical career!”
Rein ignored Saria’s boasting of him. “He told me that he lives on this ship like Traith Harker does,” she said with a cross of her arms. “But you know that, don’t you?”
“
Yes, I heard him last night. Apparently he and Harker are very good friends.”
“
Apparently?” Rein protested. “I didn’t exactly think it
apparent
the way they were at each other last night, even in jest. They are harsh with each other, without doubt.”
“
They were just having manly fun, is all,” Saria said, giggling. Rein managed to chuckle as Saria continued. “But Carden does seem to make up for Mr. Harker’s lost ground, does he not?”
Rein lost her laughter with a deep breath. “Yes. I suppose he does.”
“
Oh! But I just love hearing the man play! And his
adorable
accent!” She got quiet and leaned her head toward Rein. “You know, it
was
truly hilarious the way the two went after each other yesterday! Traith’s accent is very formal, I must say. Why, I think it is extremely appealing! But you know me—all about romance. The French are known for such romantic pleasure!”
Rein laughed but followed with a serious question. “But have you ever noticed their teeth, Saria? They’re—”
“
They’re
fine
. It doesn’t mean anything. Perhaps I’ll ask if it has anything to do with the accident your Mr. Harker was in. They are best—”
“
He isn’t mine.”
“
No? Please!”
“
Saria, it’s only been days since I’ve even met him!” she said casually, though somehow it felt much longer. “But you haven’t seen him anywhere, have you?” She tried desperately to hide any stupid, girly infatuation that might’ve been apparent.
“
I haven’t. I couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t come. It’s so nice!”
Rein quieted down. “I couldn’t either.”
“
Have you eaten? The food is wonderful. Come with me.”
Rein smiled, but turned once more in search of Harker. Her eyes were searching to no avail.
Saria sat down at the table next to Romanoff, who had stopped playing the organ. Rein sat as well and quickly made a plate of finger sandwiches, carrots, and potatoes for herself. She tasted it, and it left a mouthwatering flavor in her throat. She took a cup of wine, as well, and drank it.
“
I am sorry, for Mr. Harker, Rein,” Saria said, turning pale. “I know you do like him.” Rein smiled, attempting to maintain her temper as Saria continued. “Your beauty, I think, should be a strong lure for any man. He is a handsome man, young too. His dress is a bit plain for his type, however. He would be a good beau for you, I should like to say.”
“
I wish you would stop with these comments, Saria, about my being elegant in manner, or handsome, or whichever one—”
“
I cannot! What I say is true! And yet,” Saria spoke with a manner of more sensibility, “when gentlemen approach you to ask your hand for dancing, for tea, for different things, you decline them. It is a very foolish notion you have.”
Rein smiled, placing her hands under the table. “But no one has ever admired me for anything but being appealing, and I don’t like—”
“
Your shrewdness is too overbearing, Rein!” Saria announced. “You should be thankful for any man who wants you!”
“
Why are you drawn to Traith Harker, then, Miss Pierson?” Romanoff asked. “If men do not attract you?”
“
I spoke nothing of ill attraction, Mr. Romanoff,” Rein said with assertion, now fiddling with her fork. “I am very willing to admire a man, but only if he is attracted to me for a reason of worth. Traith Harker is different. He is apprehensive about me, about speaking near me, but he’s slowly unbolting his own locked doors, and I feel it is when he speaks with me. He isn’t the kind to like someone for the way she looks. His own attraction, if there be any at all, is not due to beauty.”
“
You are exactly right, Madame,” Romanoff chuckled. “And do not worry. He will come.” He spoke with composure and confidence. “He will show up.”
Their conversation continued on a different topic for a while, as Rein chose to change it. Once they had finished dinner, Saria stood and smiled with pity at Rein but left the table with Romanoff to dance. Rein waved her on with an empty smile, but soon stood up and walked toward the back of the floor beside a pillar, feeling bare inside. Playing with her glove ineptly, she heard the quiet closing of a door and looked toward it. She smiled breathlessly to herself as she looked upon Traith.
Chapter 19
Her stomach was fluttering inside to see him. He wore a dark suit with a pinstriped grey and black vest, a tall but not stiffened white collar and cravat, and his black string tie. His coattails hung behind him elegantly. He actually looked like he was dressed for a ball. He was clean shaven, but his hair was still somewhat unkempt; not slicked back or combed perfectly like most men’s hair was.
He scanned the room, his eyes flickering around uneasily. Then, with sorrow, Rein saw more clearly the scars on his face. They were not disfiguring, by any means, but there were so many. They looked like they were the result of deep cuts, long and narrow. Some, or most, were where he was once shadowed with bristles.
He didn’t see her, but he didn’t seem to be trying to find her either. He slipped in as quietly as he could and sat at a table off by itself. She eagerly moved closer to him, and he smiled when he saw her.
“
I’m so glad you came!” she said happily.
He laughed with his face down. “Yes, Carden can read me like a book sometimes.” He paused and stared at her, his manner reserved. “You look striking.”
She was stunned by his words, and she felt hotter than ever; an unfathomable excitement and chill jolted down her body. He thought she was striking?
“
Th-thank you,” she stuttered with a smile. “You do as well.”
He said nothing for a moment. He was detached; he sat slouched in his seat. It was his regular slouch, one of relaxation, but she realized that it was a bit odd that he did so because he walked with a most proper step.
“
Have you eaten, Traith?” she asked him, hoping it would make him livelier.
“
Eaten?” he repeated, a slight quiver in his voice. “I did. In my stateroom, earlier.”
She did not question him, but she had a feeling he was not speaking in truth. Again. He looked over at Romanoff, who was dancing with Saria in front of them. The Frenchman nodded at Traith with a large smile. Traith returned it and then revolved his attention back to Rein.
“
Why don’t you dance?” she asked gently, watching their two friends spinning and laughing as they did.
“
What?” Traith paused, looking over at Romanoff momentarily, who winked in merriment as he spun Saria around. He looked back at Rein. “I
do
, I just don’t enjoy the
enthusiasm
of balls.” She didn’t mean to, but she must’ve looked as deeply disappointment as she felt. “I will, however, tonight,” he murmured. He was smiling his handsome, boyish smile. “May I have the pleasure?”
“
Of course,” she replied with a laugh, trying to suppress her ecstasy.
She knew now that he had to be fond of her, too, even if it was something light and undeveloped. He had to have some feeling. After all, they had nearly kissed!
He stood and asked for her hand with a smile, and she followed him to the center of the floor and danced to the music of the piano.
She was quiet for a while, taking in the way he moved. She spoke nothing of how deeply she admired his touch. Though Rein’s manner was generally quite sensible, she felt out of control near him.
“
Your dress really is beautiful,” he said.
She blushed. The second compliment. He liked her dress too.
“
Thank you. I don’t like crinolines or anything, though,” she said, laughing. “So that’s why—”
“
You’re so different.” His speech was encouraged by a smile. “I honestly hate crinolines on women, myself.” His fiery eyes wandered above and around her, to all the other dancing couples. “Big, ridiculous things. Get in the way. When I was younger, women wore them so unreasonably that I came to hate them.”
“
What?” She replied with a laugh. “When you were younger? As a child you hated them?”
He looked at her fast and stumbled to reply. “Y-yes.”
His hand raised and he twirled her around, her dress widening for a moment during the slow spin. Excitement was not part of the particular dance.
“
The stewardess informed me that you have few friends on this ship,” Rein said to make more conversation. “Have you met no women to admire before?”
Dear
God
, was that question too forward? Had she just then sounded like Saria, whom she always knew was too forward? Oh, she hoped not!
His eyes focused, but he was looking past her, not at anything of particular significance.
By now, he
had
to know she admired him. He
did
. For her, it was not embarrassing that he knew.
“
No, I’ve never found love. Before.” He flicked his eyes down to her. “Do they bother you, Rein?”
She moved back a little in his arms to get a good look at his expression, wondering what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”
“
My eyes. Honestly, do my eyes bother you?”
She bit her tongue hard. He must have caught her staring at his eyes again, and she didn’t even realize it. But she was so focused on the color.
“
No, they don’t. No. I’m sorry, they’re just so vibrant, as if on fire.” She looked away and watched Saria and Romanoff dance across from them. “Contrarily, I like them.”
He looked directly at her for the longest time.
“
So glad you came, Mr. Harker!” Saria yelled with a giddy laugh, hanging onto Romanoff.
Traith smiled at her laughter, and Rein saw the pallor of his face fight to prevent a glow from breaking through. He wanted to glow. She could see that he was truly trying to be untroubled and blithe, but there was a death in his face that wouldn’t release him. There was clearly something wrong, but when she watched him with a sigh, she saw gentleness on his entire face.