“We are going to go work on the dance. You can teach the gang all the moves you came up with and then maybe we can finish it,” she said, brushing the hair out of my eyes. “And you can’t say no because I have already called everyone and they are meeting us at the gym in an hour.” Tracey had stayed with me at my place over the last two days and had done all she could to try to keep me nourished and to provide me comfort. I felt bad that all of her efforts had failed miserably, so I reluctantly nodded, agreeing to go with her.
“Oh, good! I thought I was going to have to call Jared to drag your ass out of here. So the fact that you are going to come willingly is a step in the right direction. Now, let’s get you showered and fed.” She pulled out my clothes and did practically everything for me besides bathe me. As the hot water ran over my body, I felt a little bit of the pain being washed away. I knew that I needed a mental and emotional vacation for a couple of hours so this was actually going to be good for me. When I was finished and dressed, I dug through my bag to find my dance notebook. I hadn’t packed anything, so I didn’t know where it was.
“Hey Trace!” I called down to the kitchen.
“Yeah, what’s up?” she said, making her way back up the stairs.
“Do you remember where you put my dance notebook when you packed my things?” I asked, still digging through unsuccessfully.
“I don’t remember packing it. Oh shoot, I think I saw it on the table in the RV,” she said as she recalled walking out without it. “I have the part that you sent over, so we can work on that today. Why don’t you call your mom and have her mail the notebook?”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Actually, maybe I’ll just send her a text. I don’t want to have to talk to her about anything right now,” I said, going down to find my phone. Tracey had been in contact with my folks and had kept tabs of all of my phone calls. A few had come in that she refused to tell me who they were from, so I knew they must have been from Travis. I didn’t scroll through and look for anything at the moment because I was really trying to hold myself together to get through this day, and so far so good. I just needed to send my mom the quick text message and then go.
Me
: Hey Mom! Can you please overnight me my dance notebook? I left it on the table. Love you.
I put my shoes on and ate the toast that Tracey had made me while I waited for a responding text. Finally one came through, and once I read it all I realized why it had taken so long for my mom to get back to me.
Mom
: I debated calling but I know you, and knew you wouldn’t answer the phone. I spoke to Lucille and she said Travis told her everything. She said he was crying and this was the first time he has ever come to her for advice on how to make things right. Just so you know, he is no longer with Coraline. He is also very regretful for how he handled things, and is very much still in love with you. You should take his call sweetie. I know you won’t because you are hurting, but I think you both can work past this. I love you and yes, I will send the dance notebook.
Tears once again stung my eyes, and as Tracey asked what it said, I just passed her the phone. We stayed quiet the entire way to meet up with our friends, which was good because I was barely holding on by a thread. I just needed to get to the gym and see my friends’ faces, which would hopefully numb the pain.
The afternoon passed, and I had yet to think of Travis and my broken heart. We all worked on the dance, getting the first half down pat. I had recalled a lot of the second part, so we were able to get most of it done. After eight hours, I was physically spent along with the others. Tracey dragged me out for food with everyone, which was good. The longer I stayed busy, the better I felt. It was getting really late though, so I knew it was time to face the inevitable lonely dark night. Tracey begged to stay with me but I convinced her that once she dropped me off at my house, she was required to go see Tom and have a night off. She reluctantly agreed but promised that she would be back in the morning. I was dreading the time alone, but knew in the long run it would be good for me.
When we pulled into my driveway, I saw that there was a car parked in front of my house. It was dark out, so I couldn’t tell what it was until we got closer, then I saw the door to the black Porsche open and Travis stepped out.
“Oh, shit!” Tracey gasped and put her car in park. “I will go get rid of him, you stay here Paige. I’ll take care of this,” she directed, exiting the car. I was sitting in shock not knowing why he had come, but at the same time relieved to see him. I knew it was probably self-inflicting torture but I opened the car door and stepped outside.
“Paige,” Travis said, walking past Tracey and coming to stand in front of me. He tripped the security light as he walked toward me, so his face became illuminated. “I…Uh…” he paused. His eyes locked with mine and we stood silently staring at each other. I couldn’t look away, and found my body being drawn toward him. “Your mom told me that you needed this,” he said, finally breaking the silence and handing me my dance notebook. I reached out to take it and his hand brushed over mine. The sensation ran straight to my heart making it pound in my chest.
“Thanks!” I finally whispered taking it from his hand. “You drove seven hours to give me this?” I asked. I opened the book to look inside so that I could break the stare.
“Yes, your mom said that you needed it right away and I really wanted to see you. Even if just for a moment,” he spoke quietly and his voice trailed off as he turned back to see Tracey giving him an evil glare.
As I flipped to the back of the notebook, I noticed a little note that was tucked inside which held my mom’s writing.
Sweetie!
Listen to him. They fuck up royally, but in this particular situation, it wasn’t his fault. Take my advice. Just talk to him.
I love you,
Mom
My mom’s note left me confused. “In this particular situation, it wasn’t his fault.”
Nobody else made him lie to me and Cora, how could it be anyone else’s fault
? My mind silently shouted out in frustration. I didn’t know what to think or say, so I found myself just standing there staring at my notebook not saying a word.
“Paige, I was hoping we could talk,” he asked sweetly and I could hear the nerves in his voice.
“Travis, you should go. I don’t think there is anything left to say and you’ve hurt her enough,” Tracey protested, coming to stand in between us. In that moment, I was overcome by a greater emotion, one that no one, not even my rational self, could say no to, and so I stepped around Tracey.
“Okay. Why don’t you come inside Travis? Tracey was just dropping me off. She has a date with Tom.” Tracey looked at me and I could see the true worry in her eyes. She was only trying to be protective of my heart and was concerned for me. Although I appreciated her loyalty, I wanted her to leave.
“Tracey. I’ll be fine. You can take off and I will call you if I need you.”
“Paige, I just don’t want you…” She stopped and looked between the two of us, and then shrugged in defeat. “Okay. Call me if you need me and I will be back in the morning. But call me if you need me before then.” She turned to look at Travis and stuck her finger in his face. “If you hurt her, I will get Tom and Jared to kick your ass.” Tracey turned and went to her car. She waved at me as she pulled out of the driveway and I was left standing alone with Travis.
“Come on in. Sorry, we just got back from dance practice so I stink,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I walked inside and flipped on the lights to the front hall and then turned to see Travis.
“Paige, I am so sorry. I’ve been trying to call you but you haven’t taken my calls. When your mom asked me if I wanted to deliver the book, I agreed thinking it might be my only chance to talk to you. So, I’m sorry to just appear on your front step.” It looked like he had been crying and I could see how tired his eyes were. They looked to be full of pain and it broke my heart to see him that way.
“It’s fine. Thank you so much for bringing the book. I told my mom to overnight it, I had no idea I was going to get same day delivery,” I said, making another attempt to break the ice.
Travis turned and grabbed me, pulling me into his arms. I was taken by surprise and had no time to think. Without registering anything, my arms (or maybe my heart) acted on their (or maybe its) own accord and squeezed him back.
“I’ve missed you. I can’t live without you. I can’t do this. It hurts too much. Paige, please just listen to me.” I nodded against him. Nothing in me wanted to let him go. I needed him as much as he needed me.
“I’m listening,” I whispered. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes.
“Paige, I shouldn’t have lied. I should have been honest with Cora, and I should have been honest with you. I can’t change the past, but I can promise never to lie to you again. Please give me another chance.”
As much as I wanted to wipe the slate clean and move forward with Travis, I still felt guilty that I was partly to blame for another girl’s broken heart. Cora had dated him for two years, and I had only known him for a few weeks. As crushed and broken as I felt over the past two days, I couldn’t imagine what she was going through and she was already an injured soul. The guilt that I was feeling was enough to hold me back, and I just couldn’t let it go.
“I’m sorry Travis. I love you so much, but I can’t be with you knowing that we added to Cora’s pain.” I shook my head as tears streamed down my face.
“Paige, we didn’t. It was all a lie,” Travis said, reaching for me again. “She lied, Paige. She was never raped.”
I was shocked by what I was hearing and didn’t know if Travis was telling the truth or if this too was a lie. “What do you mean she lied, and that she was never raped?” I asked taking a few steps back. I needed to gain some space so I could process what he was saying.
“It came out after I spoke to Ashley. Apparently, Cora wanted to tell me that she had cheated on me, but when she thought I was getting ready to break up with her over Christmas she made up the lie. In her mind, it was partly the truth because she was still admitting that she had been with someone else. She blamed me for her indiscretion because I bailed on her for the homecoming dance.”
“Wait what?” I shrieked, horrified by what I was hearing.
“Let me back up,” he said, seeing the confusion on my face. “Ashley came to me because she wanted to know the truth about why I had lied to everyone, including her. When I explained why I had done it, she was shocked to learn that her cousin had been raped because that was the first she had heard of it. She then made a comment telling me that she now understood why I stayed with Cora after she had cheated on me. I didn’t know what the heck she was talking about because Cora had never shared that little piece of information with me.” I could hear the disgust in his voice and it was obvious that he was fed up with her.
“So Ashley and I decided to confront Cora in order to get to the truth. Once she was put on the spot, she came clean about everything. She was worried that Ashley was going to go back to her parents about the rape, so she had to finally tell the truth. Of course, she deflected the blame on everyone except for herself, but at least I finally learned the truth.”
I didn’t know what to do with this new information. Travis had been lied to, and in return he had made up lies. The reality was if Cora had never lied to him, he would have broken up with her and our relationship would have started in truth. I knew he had only lied because he truly did not want to beat Cora while she was already down, but at the same time he could not deny or resist what was between us. There was no denying what was between us. Even in my anger, I had not been able to forget the connection that the two of us had.
“Paige, I know that Cora lying to me was wrong, but I still take full responsibility for my own deception. No matter what, I should have just been honest with you. I should have had enough faith in you, in us, and in fate, and just been honest. I’m so sorry Paige.”
In that split second I decided that Cora A.K.A “the bitch” had caused enough damage in her wake and I was not going to let her get the best of Travis anymore. He was such an amazing guy who was always trying to do right by her, and all she did was stomp on his heart.
Well, I am giving it back to him
I thought and leaned up to plant a kiss on his lips. He grabbed me and held me close in desperation. It felt as if his lips were in disbelief and trying to savor every second of our kiss. His tongue slid warmly against mine, and his lips pressed softly moving slowly over every part of my mouth.
“God, I love you Paige!” he whispered through the kiss. I pulled back and looked up at him.
“I love you too Travis, and I know you have such a good heart and meant well. Just promise me that you will never EVER lie to me again,” I declared.
“Never again,” he vowed and began kissing me more intensely.
“I need you to do one more thing for me,” I said, pulling back from him again.
“Anything,” he quickly answered and I could see his eyes desperately searching my face for the lifeline that he needed.
“Come and shower with me.”
Without looking back, I turned to walk up the stairs. After a few seconds, probably of shock, Travis followed behind, taking my hips with his hands and planting kisses on my neck all the way up to my bathroom. Once I flipped on the light switch, I began undressing. I was too eager to wait for Travis to do it himself, so I stripped my shirt off over my head and threw it on the ground. Travis was following me with his eyes as I peeled my leggings off and let them drop to the floor with my socks. Before I went any further, I came to the front of him and unzipped his pants. Once I had the button undone, they too fell on the floor joining my clothes in a pile. He pulled his shirt over his head, and was standing in nothing but his boxers. I turned to put the water on in the shower, and when I turned back around, Travis was naked.