Instant Prairie Family (Love Inspired Historical) (12 page)

“I hid these from the boys so that they wouldn’t ask for any until after they had finished their meal, but I hadn’t expected them to be done so soon. Should I call them back in?”

“No, that’s fine. We’ll enjoy a little peace and quiet and then they can have some,” Will answered, selfish enough to exclude his own sons from dessert in an effort to find some more solid footing with his housekeeper turned wife.

Nodding, Abby turned back to the sink and started her washing again.

“Aren’t you going to join us?” Colin asked, obviously uncomfortable.

“No, thank you. I need to finish this. Is there something else you need?” She lifted her hands from the sudsy water and started to wipe them on her apron.

“No. Everything is fine,” Colin reassured her.

Will sipped his coffee, scalding his mouth in the process. Looking at Colin, he could see his friend was having a hard time trying to piece everything together. Within a few minutes, Abby left the kitchen spotless and excused herself to go outdoors. Will wondered if she was going to see the boys or just wanted away from him.

Colin asked about some of the families in the area and the farm in general and they sat talking and sipping the now-cooling coffee for a time. Even as Will answered questions about the neighbors, Abby’s face came to mind. With her face came a list of questions that he had no answers for. For years, he had concentrated on getting through each day and then each season, providing for his family and caring for his boys. Now he was going to have to learn how to live comfortably with Abby and yet not let her tear his heart out the day she chose to leave.

“Hey, Will, you’d think I was boring you!” Colin’s voice yanked him back to the present. “I think you’ve got a pretty little blonde on your mind and I imagine I don’t quite compare.” Colin’s teasing grated on Will’s raged nerves.

“Knock it off, Colin. It’s not something to tease about,” Will barked.

“Hey, easy there, my friend—she’s young and pretty. No one would blame you for thinking about her instead of listening to an old, ugly preacher. I know this marriage wasn’t what you expected, but God’s hand of providence brought her out here to be your helpmate. You said yourself that God would have to all but put a gun to your head before you’d marry again. I’d say He did just that today.” Colin’s words were lighthearted, but his eyes were somber.

He had listened through the years while Will fought God about the turns his life had taken. Colin had arrived in Nebraska Territory just a month before Matt and MaryAnn’s accident. He’d officiated at the funeral. And afterward, he’d done what he could to try to counsel Caroline and Will through those last, hard years of their marriage. Will trusted him more than anyone else in the world, but the events of the day had left him out of sorts. It was probably a good thing Abby had gone out and given him some distance.

“Why don’t you go out and look for your little lady?” Colin asked, a smirk in his eyes.

“Because she’s
not
my little lady!” Will lashed out. He regretted the words as soon as they came out.

“What do you mean?” Colin’s head snapped up, all teasing gone from his eyes.

“She’s not going to last out here. No young, pretty woman wants to make her life out on the prairie,” Will explained. “It’s not settled enough for someone so delicate. She might make it through a summer, but she would never endure a winter. I won’t watch another woman shrivel up and...and die like Caroline. I won’t do that to her. She has her whole life in front of her.”
Not to mention the fact that she’s good, wholesome and beautiful,
his heart reminded him. There was no way he would be part of her destruction.

Silence answered his outburst and Colin sat staring at him as if he had grown another head. “So, why did you marry her today?” Colin finally asked.

“So she could be safe. So she wouldn’t have to marry one of the Scotts boys. So she can stay the rest of the season until the harvest and find a good position before she goes back East.”

“But she’s your wife now. You can’t just let her walk away.” Colin looked incredulous.

“Wife in name only. I’ll still be sleeping out in the barn with Jake.”

“Does she understand this arrangement?” Colin’s voice was deeper than normal. Sparks flew from his emerald-green eyes, reminding Will of the stories he’d heard about the Irish temper.

“Yes. We spoke of it before the ceremony,” Will answered tersely. He had invited Colin out to the farm so he could be a character witness when the time came to annul the marriage. He hadn’t expected Colin’s opposition to his plan.

“So, then why did you kiss her like you did?” Colin’s eyes were burning holes into his, and Will tore his gaze away and fiddled with his empty mug. He’d been asking himself the same question since the minute he pulled his head back, wishing he could keep kissing her forever and realizing that he had taken the intended gentle peck on the lips to a whole other level.

In all the confusion of the hurried wedding, he hadn’t gotten a chance to ask Colin not to have the groom kiss his bride, so when the moment came, he had to make it look real. The Scotts brothers were standing by, waiting for proof that he wasn’t going to send her packing on the next train. He’d intended to only touch his lips lightly on the corner of her mouth, but then she’d shivered with the small contact.

She had kept her eyes open, staring at him as if frightened, so he put a hand on her cheek and held her closer. He wondered if his had been her first kiss. The reality of her innocence had sent a current through him and he hadn’t been able to pull away from her. Instead, he’d deepened the kiss and felt her relax at his touch as his hand caressed her cheek and his lips met hers. They were both strangely short of breath and blushing when they glanced around and found everyone’s attention focused on them. It had been believable, all right. Even Will had believed that it was something more than a simple kiss.

“I don’t know. I had...” The admission made him angry with himself, but he lashed out at Colin. “I was still in shock. You know I didn’t want to marry ever again. I wouldn’t have done it if it hadn’t been for you and those troublemaking Scotts,” he accused.

“Hey. I know this was sudden, but you’d be a fool to let that woman walk out of your life now. She has done wonders with this house. It’s clean! And her cooking beats your burnt oatmeal any day. She’s wonderful with the boys, and I saw the way you watched her today, at the table and even in the wagon. Don’t let what happened to you and Caroline ruin your future.”

Everything Colin said was true. Will knew it in his head, but that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it. It wouldn’t keep Abby from walking away from him and the boys someday. He’d see to it that she was provided for—that she had a good job waiting for her out East when she left, and that she had a comfortable home until then. But he wasn’t about to let himself get caught up in caring about another woman. It was just a matter of time. He had already sent a letter for his mother to look for work for Abby.

“My future is fine. I’ve got a good homestead, the crops are in and the house is built. I was thinking about next year. I could put in twenty acres more to the east of the fields than I’ve got planted now.”

“Your future is lonely. The boys will grow up someday and start families of their own. God didn’t mean for a man to live out his days alone. He created a helpmate for Adam. I’m thinking the good Lord sent you one, as well.”

“If you like her so much, you should have married her yourself!”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Will felt sick. He didn’t want anyone else to marry Abby. She was
his
wife, and the boys had become attached. If he had to give her up, it would be only to keep her from becoming another victim of the prairie. He would send her back East, but he didn’t want her marrying anyone else, not even his best friend.

“Nah, I couldn’t do that,” Colin replied.

“Why not?”

“’Cuz I value my life,” Colin snapped, but his eyes held mischief in them. “I saw the way you stiffened as soon as people started to crowd around the wagon today. You flanked her with your boys during and after church. You might say you haven’t got attached yet, but I have eyes in my head. And if I had doubted before, that kiss that you gave her at the end of the ceremony confirmed everything.” Colin chuckled and Will once again fought the urge to hit his friend.

“She came at my request, to my farm, and I am responsible for her well-being,” Will argued, more to himself than even to Colin.

“Well, then all the more reason to treat her right. She is your wife now and you need to see to all of her needs and comfort.” Colin’s look reminded Will of his mother’s when she was laying down an order. “And if you’re still so intent on being the biggest fool this side of the Mississippi, then you’d better not trifle with her, either.”

“I know what I’ve got to do! I’d appreciate if you’d keep your nose out of my business. You sound like her father,” Will growled.

“It became my business when I performed the ceremony. I’m not sure I would have done it if I had known that you don’t plan on trying for a real marriage. As of today, Abby happens to be one of my parishioners and therefore my business. Since she doesn’t have family in the area, I have to assume the role of older brother in Christ. You need to watch the way you treat that woman. She’s a godsend and if you can’t see it, well, then, my friend, you’ve got about as much sense as a fence post.” Colin shook his head in disgust and scraped back his chair.

Will didn’t take being called a fool easily. He regretted having invited Colin to stay with them for a few days. When Colin set his mug in the sink and then left the room without a word, Will sat back and breathed deeply. His hands were shaking and his breath
came fast.

Of course he would see to Abby’s needs. Colin’s implication that he would do anything else offended him. Colin knew Will well enough to know that he was a responsible man. Abby would be fed, clothed, protected and provided for while she was here. He would make sure her reputation was still intact and that she found a good home to work in when she was ready to leave.

His needs were what worried him. How was he going to face his kitchen alone, morning after morning, once she was gone? Colin was right; his boys would grow up and start lives of their own. In just the three weeks she had been on the farm, he had gotten used to her coffee first thing in the morning and a cup of tea on the back porch after the boys were in bed. A lifetime of loneliness was close to forever, but he wouldn’t ask her to give up her happiness to keep him from a little loneliness. What kind of man would ask a woman to give up her life for his dreams? He had done it once and because of it his first wife now lay in a grave at the top of a knoll overlooking the farm. He wasn’t going to ask that kind of sacrifice from another woman.

He stood from the table, picked up his mug and left it in the sink. He was almost out the door before he realized what he had done—expecting Abby to clean up after him. He retraced his steps and made quick work of washing the two mugs.

Wanting to be alone with his thoughts, he went out to the barn, saddled his horse and headed out to the fields. Abby was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she needed some time to herself, as well. Now, if only the memory of her face would stop filling his mind, maybe he could find a little peace.

* * *

“Thank you, God, for my pa and for my new ma. Thank you for giving me a family like Jill’s. Bless Bess and Buttercup and help them to give us more milk and help my new ma to have lots of babies so that I can have little brothers an’ maybe even a sister. Bless Jake and Willy and help him not to win again at horseshoes next time. Amen.”

Abby sat at the side of Tommy’s bed and listened to his prayers. Many times Tommy’s ideas made her want to giggle in the midst of prayer time, but tonight’s prayer had the opposite effect. He staunchly refused to call her anything other than “Ma” and since Pastor MacKinnon was here, there was no time to talk with Will and make sure that that was all right. She hadn’t wanted to talk to him anyway. She needed some space and time to adjust. But even with space and time, she wasn’t sure she would ever adjust. If things went the way Will planned, she would be out of the house before the first snowfall.

She turned her thoughts back on Willy’s prayers even as her own heart cried out to God about her loneliness and need to find a place where she was loved and wanted. As soon as the boys were tucked in and she had placed a kiss on their smooth, cool foreheads, she turned and fled down the stairs, leaving Will behind.

She rushed to her room, shut the door and leaned her back against it. She felt foolish, acting like a small child who had been chased by the fear of a monster down the hallway. Her breathing was heavy and she tried to concentrate on slowing it down so that no one would hear her. She didn’t even light the lamp on her nightstand or have her routine cup of tea. She wasn’t about to risk coming face-to-face with Will in the kitchen now that everyone else was bedded down. They would have to talk things out but not tonight. Not with his words bouncing around in her head—“If you like her so much, you should have married her yourself!”

She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop and she hadn’t stayed to hear much more. What she had heard was enough. Still puzzled about what made her unlovable, she poured out her heart to God.

Her most secret dream lay within reach and yet had never seemed further away. A wonderful man had shared his name with her and promised to protect her, held her hand during the challenges of the day and kissed her lips as sweetly…. The dream she pushed into a closed corner of her heart, too extravagant to contemplate for a girl who had never once been courted, felt in some moments as if it had come true. Will personified the man she dreamed of—but he admitted to his friend he regretted having married her even before the ink had dried on the parchment. When she heard Mr. Hopkins suggesting Pastor MacKinnon should have offered to marry her so he wouldn’t have had to, she’d known he would never come to love her. They were bound by a vow and all the witnesses from the ceremony, but she was more alone than ever.