Authors: Maddy Roman
T
he ladies room
was in the back of the bar, where the pool table was, and so of course that's where Daire was too. My mind wasn't as clear as I would have liked. I decided to see if I could just slip by, use the ladies room, and slip back out again.
As if.
I rounded the table, trying to press myself against the back wall and he playfully bumped my shoulder as I passed.
"Hey," he whispered.
"Be right back," I said as I slipped into the ladies’ room.
The door opened immediately and he followed right behind me. He pressed his back against the door and I heard it lock, then he moved toward me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, he was right in front of me, and I resisted the urge to grab his shirt. His scent triggered my memory and sent sparks up and down my spine as I took a deep breath and smelled his woodsy earthy fragrance. I could feel the heat of his skin on mine as his arm snaked around my back. He leaned down and whispered "c'mere" as he drew me closer.
I felt warm and safe in his arms, he was big and a brawler but when he was wrapped around me I just felt at home. Turning my head slightly I looked up and my hair caught in the day old scruff that decorated his chin. I knew I should take a step back, but I couldn't make myself pull away. I told myself it might be the last time, if I got him to sign the papers and left for my new job, maybe I wouldn't see him again. That wasn't the real reason though.
I wanted to be there, that was the real reason. And that was scary. My whole life now was built on him not being a part of it.
I turned my face to his and his lips gently grazed mine. He tasted like beer, and salt. His kiss was familiar; like a piece I had been missing had fallen into place. Reaching up I ran my hand through his hair, he had let it get long enough to reach his collar, and I pulled his face closer. Again his lips were on mine and my breath caught in my throat as I concentrated on the kiss. He ran his tongue gently along my lips and they parted for him as his hands ran down my back and paused briefly before they found their way to the bare skin at my waist.
This would not turn out well. I knew it as well as I knew my own name. He was my own personal disaster waiting to happen all over again. Somehow exhaustion and excitement and that damn iced tea had conspired to weaken my resolve and so here I was, once again, in Raiin's arms.
The ladies room situation wasn't even new, we had made out here once or twice years ago, after I was of age of course. And now, it was the same excitement, the same buzz.
His arms, so solid from years of exercise, wrapped around me, holding me, his scent, his warmth, a dizzying concoction more capable of helping me make terrible decisions than even the boozy iced tea I had left at the bar.
Bunching the fabric of his shirt in my hands once again I leaned up on tiptoe as he broke the kiss. I moaned involuntarily at the loss of his lips, but he wasn't done yet. He ran his lips gently along the edge of my jawline, bending his head down until he kissed just in the crook of my neck.
Part of my brain, a very small but insistent part, seemed to whisper that this wasn't supposed to be happening. Other louder parts were drowning that part out as I ran my hands up his back, and then I pulled away. That small insistent part of my brain was knocking at my skull. I had to get out of here, get out of the magnetic orbit that pulled me to him. He was momentarily surprised that I had pulled back, and I ducked around him. As I struggled with the door-handle he gently spun me around and, bracing his arms on either side of me, looked down and said, "Where are you going?"
"I don't know. Um. I mean … home. I have to leave now," and even I knew I wasn't making any sense.
"No, you don't," he said leaning closer and kissing my closed eyelids, then my nose, then brushing his lips with mine yet again, "you don't have to go anywhere, you can stay here, it's just us."
I sighed, "That's the problem, Daire, there is no us anymore. It's just you over here and me over there, we have different lives, different futures, different desires," I struggled to get my breath.
"Seems to me our desires were pretty similar there for a while, don't you think so? In fact, I'm feeling like they're pretty similar now. "
"I … I. Daire, you left and didn't come back."
"I was scared."
"You're like the third biggest guy in the NHL, you aren't scared of anything."
"Babe. I was scared of you." His mouth was next to my ear and every word was a breath that warmed my skin and sent licks of fire along my nerve endings.
"I'm not scary," I whispered as he leaned back, keeping his arms on either side of me.
"You have no idea, babe. You're smart and sassy and you know me better than I know myself. Which makes you terrifying," he said as he leaned forward to brush my lips with his again. I sighed, or maybe it was a moan, leaning into the kiss and for a moment I let myself go. Something I hadn't done for all of law school, for all of my career. Just let myself feel. His skin on mine, his breath, his pulse. He brought one hand to my side and slid his palm along it, gently, as if I were made of the most fragile eggshells. As he slid his hand along my side, his thumb grazed my breast slightly, and the unexpected touch launched another set of sparks that made me dizzy with desire.
Knocking. I heard knocking. Suddenly I was brought to my senses, someone wanted in to the ladies room. My eyes flashed open and I stopped kissing, straightening and pressing my back against the door.
"Stop. We need to stop now, Raiin."
And he did. I wanted to cry from the loss, but it had to be hormones and booze.
"Hang on," I call to the impatient chick on the other side of the door, "be right out."
He pulls away just as suddenly and stands up straight. "Ok, ok, if that's the way it is, I'm outta here," and with no more than that, he was gone.
As the door opens huffy chick comes in to use the bathroom and I'm pretty sure I heard her say "Get a room," but I ignored her and splashed cold water on my face and arms and rubbed my neck with it. That's it, right, I just told him good-bye. Just the hockey game tomorrow and then I'm gonna hustle so I can get out of Bloom, and back to my new home, my new life, my new job. I had a destiny to fulfill, and it wasn’t with him. It couldn’t be.
O
nce I was
out of the ladies room I walked straight to the front of the bar and out the door. Pausing at my car, I decided that if was drunk enough to kiss Daire in the ladies room of the Tav, than I was obviously too drunk to drive. So, I pocketed the keys and walked the mile to the house. It's a walk I've made dozens, or maybe hundreds of times, in my life and the familiarity cheered me up. Or maybe it was the booze. Or the fresh air. Endorphin rush? I had no idea what it was to be honest, but I was happier while I was walking.
I let myself in the little yellow cape and lock the door behind me. One day down. How on earth will I survive two weeks in this town?
When I woke up the sun was full in the morning sky and the Georgia humidity was building. It was unseasonably warm, but just as well, I had cleaning to do inside and a realtor to call.
First I called Ally.
"Hey, good morning, how'd last night go?"
"You mean before or after he locked himself in the ladies’ room with me?"
"Oh God, and I missed it! I never should have gone home so early, I knew it!"
"Well, you wouldn't have been in the ladies’ room with us, so you didn't really miss all that much."
"What happened?"
"Oh, nothing really. He wanted me, I kinda said no and went home."
"Kinda?"
"Well he kissed me."
"And?"
"I kissed him back," I sighed, "at least at first I did, but you know, we can't, I mean we don't work well together."
"But you want him."
"I do. No wait, I don't! It's just hormones," I finished weakly.
"Whatever. Listen I talked to Justin and we think you should call Mabel to sell your house."
"Right, thanks, that's actually why I was calling. Mabel? Really? Isn't she like, seven hundred and fifty years old by now?"
Ally giggled, "She's as old as dirt I think, but she will sell that sucker. She knows everyone and everything that goes on in Bloom. She's annoying as all get out, but she'll get the job done. I still wish you weren’t selling it though."
"I know, me too, kinda, but it's just hard to let it go. Once it's done I'll feel better."
"Ok. So, are we all still on for the game tonight? I didn't want …" she trailed off
"Yeah, of course, I can go to one game. It'll be fun, I bet Justin and Grady are ready!"
"Yep, Grady is about out of his head. And I want him to nap because he'll be up late but I don't think he can."
I smiled to myself hearing her talk like this, we used to talk all the time about being moms, what we'd name our kids, all that stuff. I'm glad she got her wish and is enjoying it so much.
"I haven't heard from Daire, but usually he just leaves the tickets for me at the box office. I'll meet you there, ok? I have to clean this place up then call Mabel to come take a look."
We signed off and I put my hands on my hips and slowly turned around to look at the house. It was neat, and I had taken care of the dust downstairs yesterday. I'd get some upstairs cleaning out of the way and give her a call.
Two hours later I was sweaty and gross, but the house was presentable so I placed a call to Mabel.
"Darlin' are you fixing to sell that gorgeous little doll house?"
"Mabel how did you know it was me, or do you always answer the phone that way?"
"Caller ID lovey, it's the best. I heard you were in town, want me to stop by?"
"Sure Mabel, that would be great, thanks."
Mabel's big old periwinkle blue caddy pulled into the driveway and out she stepped. White haired, she walked with a bounce in her step, aided no doubt by her blindingly white athletic shoes. No heels for her. She looked around, produced the contracts, and just like that my parent's house was listed. She promised to email me a detailed list of items she wanted changed before we met to take photos in the next few days.
One tie ready to be cut.
After a quick nap, I showered and changed to meet Ally and her family at the box office. With the passes that Daire had left us we were able to use the special bar on the lower level of the arena. When we walked in, the place was hopping with season ticket holders and others who had privilege passes.
Grady got a fancy root beer and the rest of us had adult beverages.
Grady was practically vibrating he was so excited. We had front row glass seats along the goal line. The arena was packed, as always. As we entered to find our seats the familiar sights and smells surrounded me. The refrigerated air was cool and crisp, I could smell popcorn and beer, and the arena was electric with excitement. The team had been playing well this season and as things were winding down the fans were getting more and more excited.
The lights came down as game time approached and spot lights swirled around the ice. The teams approached and the announcer began calling the players by name.
When it was Daire’s turn we heard the voice boom "Daire Raiin," and the lights went down and the sounds of rain and thunder crashed across the speaker system. The crowd went wild, as he skated out and stopped with a spray of ice.
Once play started it was hard to keep Grady away from the glass, he was on his feet and jumping up and down. The players banged against the glass in front of us more than once and he jumped backwards, only to move forward again and get as close as his folks would let him. I could understand his enthusiasm.
Hockey is great that way, the players are allowed to be involved, be emotional, to really want to win in the most animalistic way possible. Up close you can see the sweat, the grimaces, the grunting, the emotion. And Daire was deeply involved in the flow of the game. His face was a mask of intensity and concentration, his eyes sharp and on target. He followed the game with a ferocity I had forgotten.
I hadn't seen a live game in a long time, and I was transported back to all the games of his I'd watched over the years. He still looked great on the ice, powerful and solid, and just so on top of things, so professional and confident. It was undeniably sexy.
When Raiin scored the winning goal, the crowd went nuts, the scoreboard flashed lightning bolts and the sound system rumbled with thunder. The crowd cheered, Raiin, Raiin, Raiin …
As we left the arena, following the flow of the crowd, my cell phone pinged with a text.
“Meet me” was all it said, it was from Raiin. He used to text me that after every game and I'd meet him outside the locker room. The text made me wistfully nostalgic and I smiled in spite of myself. I wasn't even sure I could get there tonight, but I'd try. I excused myself from Ally and her family and turned back toward the arena, now moving against the sea of people, and made my way to the locker rooms one last time.
F
ighting
the crowd to get to the locker rooms was exhausting, they were boisterous and I was aware of how that had worked out the other night. There would be a bus full of opposing team players tonight too, and I hoped things would remain calm. I thought, or at least hoped, there would be extra police around tonight to make sure things didn't get crazy.
As I approached, I saw Raiin peeking his head out of the big double doors leading to the players locker room. He spotted me and winked, waving his hand to indicate he'd be right there, then slipped back inside. I could hear the muffled celebrations and the coach talking, the players whooping and clapping. The doors banged open and the players started filing out. Dressed casually in jeans and sweaters it was jocks on parade and I pressed myself against the wall as they passed me. Clapping each other on the shoulder and fist bumping as they discussed their victory, I breathed in the scent of shampoo and soap as they tumbled past me. It was like a river of testosterone. Hockey is still the only sport that allows emotion and the energy that goes with it. Other sports penalize players for showing how they feel, hockey immortalizes it
Passing me in ones and twos, a parade of giants, and then there he was. Heart stopping. Breath taking. God, I shouldn't have had those two beers, I needed control and it was missing. He saw me leaning against the wall and he moved toward me, leaning into me and pressing me against the cool cement.
"Babe," he whispered.
"Raiin," I whispered back.
One of his teammates wandered by and slapped him on the shoulder and the moment was broken. He turned away to fist bump someone I didn't recognize, and then turned back. I really didn't know his teammates anymore I realized with a shock. I used to.
"Hungry?" he asked me.
"Yeah, a little," I said.
"I brought you a helmet, come with me on the bike."
"I'm not really dressed for it, and my car …" I hesitated and trailed off.
"I have a jacket for you too, hang on," he said and went back into the locker room. By the time he was back the hallway was pretty empty and he stepped into me again, clutching the leather jacket and helmet in one hand with the palm of his other on the wall behind me. He was a giant of a man. I know that, I mean, I remembered, but up until the last few days it had been so long since we'd been this close, it surprised me all over again. His shirt outlined his still damp chest and I could see the faint outline of muscles as he leaned into me. His scent was intoxicating, on top of the beers, I was losing control. I was definitely not putting up the kind of fight I knew I should.
His hair was still damp from the shower and it drifted gently over one eye, I reached up to smooth it and as I did he leaned down and kissed me. Dammit I did it again, I kissed him back! He pulled back and looked me in the eye. Something passed between us, I couldn't say what, but for tonight I was in, and we both knew it. Some battles aren't meant to be fought after victory and beer and sweet kisses. "Come on," he said, "let's eat."
We wound our way through the underground tunnels out to the players parking lot. The crowd was raucous and I thought again about the other night and hoped tonight would be more peaceful. We approached his bike. The Harley was black decorated with jagged cobalt blue lines of lightning bolts, outlined in the thinnest lines of gold. It was painted as a gift to him by the team. It was stunning, and he treated it like it was a family member. He stowed his things in the saddle bags, then rocked it back off the kickstand and straddled it. He started it then motioned for me to climb on. I put on the helmet and slid in behind him, carefully finding the foot pegs.
The headlight from the bike illuminated the crowd and the other cars leaving the arena. He steered around them, and took us to a back road out of the lot, that led us away from the arena on back roads. I held on tight and fitted my body close to his leaning with the bike, not resisting, making myself relax as he steered us back to our little town.
The thrumming between my legs wasn't unpleasant as I wrapped my arms around him. I knew this was going to lead nowhere good, but I'd give us tonight. I could stop tomorrow; the cold light of day would surely bring me to my senses.
Right now I just wanted to hold on tight and let him steer us into the cool southern night and whatever lay ahead.