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1
See my textbook,
Constructing the Sexual Crucible
(Schnarch, 1991).

2
People who had sexual desire problems previously are not included in these figures. Including them would greatly increase these numbers.

3
This was called
bypassing
, developed by Dr. Singer-Kaplan. See Singer-Kaplan (1979).

4
Schover & Lopicollo (1982).

5
When I was trained, clinicians referred to the
low-desire partner
and the
asymptomatic partner
. In this framework, you were either the partner with an obvious problem, or the one who was equally screwed-up but didn’t show it. Although therapists tried to avoid labeling one sick and one healthy, they were operating from a pathological viewpoint.

6
If the high desire partner controls the frequency of sex, it’s probably a situation of rape, psychological torture, or extreme cultural bias against women. Polygamy is man’s attempt to “beat the system” that the LDP always controls sex, by shifting his sexual attention from a low desire wife to a different wife, one who may be sexually receptive because it shifts her position in the household.

7
See Aspinwall & Staudinger (2003) and Lopez & Snyder (2003).

8
See Fisher’s wonderful book,
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
(2004).

9
The caudate nucleus.

10
This general region directs bodily movement. The caudate nucleus, in particular, is involved in detecting, perceiving, and discriminating in ways that allow you to anticipate and mobilize yourself to obtain a reward.

11
Fisher,
Why We Love
, p. 69.

12
This part, the ventral tegmental area (VTA), has long dopamine-distributing branches into the caudate nucleus and other brain regions.

13
A General Theory of Love
(Lewis, Amini & Lannon, 2000) is also about the neuroscience of love. The authors argue that love is as fit a subject for scientific discourse as cucumbers or chemistry. They note love involves the emotional centers of the brain (as Helen Fisher found), but people erroneously assume every part of their brain should be logical since as a species we are more aware of the verbal, rational part of our brains.

14
Researchers made naturally promiscuous meadow voles (mouse-like rodents) become monogamous by implanting a single gene in the pleasure center of their brains. When they examined how this remarkable behavior change was actually accomplished, they found dopamine and vasopressin receptors normally located apart in the brain had grown together (Weise, 2004).