Intimate (36 page)

“I want you to come with me, RJ.”

Jake laughed. “RJ's not going anywhere. RJ Cameron went into detention, but Jake Lowell came out.”

“Lola told me you went by Jake now.” Ben smiled at him, and Jake felt the years sort of slide away. This was the brother he remembered.

“Is Jake willing to face the parents? I know it's something I have to do. Maybe you, too.” Ben glanced at his watch. “I think we need to set them straight, and then, personally, I don't care if I never see them again. I can't believe they're our parents.”

Jake chuckled. “Probably explains why we're both so screwed up.”

Ben rubbed Jake's shoulder, as if he needed the contact, the chance to physically connect with him. “You're probably right. Will you follow me to the car-rental place? I need to drop mine off. I'm actually going to buy a car, now that I'm back in the States.”

“Are you here to stay?”

Ben looked at him. “Damn straight I am.”

Nodding, Jake followed Ben across the room to where the three women still talked nonstop. “Not a problem,” he said. “The trip into Marin will give us a chance to talk. I want to know what you've been doing for the past nineteen years.”

Ben looked at him, but there was no way for Jake to know what he was thinking. Ben had changed. A lot. Finally, he nodded and said, “Same here.”

Jake went straight to Kaz, pulled her up off the couch, and kissed her. “I assume from all the screaming I heard earlier you've told them our news.”

“I did. And they've given their permission.”

“Good. Two down, one to go.” He kissed her again. “I still need to talk to your father. If he says no, the deal's off.”

She returned the kiss. “I love you. And I imagine Dad'll be happy to let someone else worry about me. Ben? I didn't get an introduction, but I'm Kaz, soon to be your sister-in-law.”

Before Jake could say anything, Ben took her hand and planted a kiss on her cheek. He shot a cocky grin at Jake. “It's nice to meet you, Kaz, and I definitely approve. Do you mind if I take your guy away for a couple of hours?”

Frowning, Kaz glanced at Jake. He shrugged. “Ben thinks we need to go pay our parents a visit. I'm not so sure it's a good idea, but I figure I'm game if he is.”

Kaz focused on Jake, giving him that look of hers that made him feel like the only guy in the room. “I think it's a great idea. Get back early enough so we can all go out to dinner. My treat, now that I'm an almost famous, highly paid commercial actress.”

She looked so beautiful standing there, smiling at him even though he could see the worry in her eyes. “You're going to make me feel like a kept man.”

“Good. You can earn the title later. After dinner.”

“I'd rather start now.” He pulled her into his arms for a kiss that shouldn't have felt so desperate, but he wanted to stay here, with Kaz, Mandy, and Lola. And Ben, too, for that matter, but the kiss would have to hold him. He made it dramatic and hot at the same time, bending her over like a cover model on an old romance. She played along perfectly, but they were both breathing hard when he finally turned her loose.

“Wow.” He kissed her nose. “I think I'm going to love being a kept man.” Then he laughed when—still caught in the power of one hell of a kiss—she didn't have a quick comeback. Jake brushed his fingers against his chest and preened a bit. They were all laughing when he and Ben said good-bye, but the laughter died the moment he closed the door behind them.

He wasn't looking forward to the visit with their parents. He really didn't see anything positive coming from this at all, but it was so good to have Ben back in his life.

He'd do this for Ben. He wasn't sure why, but Jake had a feeling Ben needed him right now. Needed Jake a hell of a lot more than he was willing to admit.

 

CHAPTER 22

Kaz made a reservation for six at a little Italian place that was close enough for them to walk to if they wanted. Six, because she'd decided to invite Marcus Reed. She wasn't sure how well he knew Ben, but she felt like she owed the man an apology for not making it to the launch, though getting kidnapped probably made for a good excuse.

She called him, and he sounded really pleased to be included. Reservations made and Marcus invited, she went in and took a shower, did her nails, shaved her legs. After a couple of hours and still no word from the guys, she'd killed all the time she could by herself, and she wandered back into the front room.

Lola and Mandy were just pouring themselves a glass of wine. Kaz got one for herself and joined them in the backyard. It was a beautiful afternoon, and Kaz wanted Jake here to enjoy it with them. “I'm worried about Jake,” she said. And then she told her roommates how his parents had treated him, but she left out what Ben had done so many years ago.

That was Jake and Ben's story to tell.

Lola squeezed her hand. “I know some of it. Ben and I talked after Mandy went to bed. He said he didn't even stay for the trial, just enlisted and left. I hope this meeting with his parents goes well, but I doubt it will. He feels horribly guilty. He had no idea Jake had been locked up, or that their parents had disowned him. Once we started talking, more and more of the story came out. I had the feeling it was the first time he'd ever told anyone. Kaz, it was just horrible. We were both crying by the time he was done, and he was so wiped out he went straight to bed.”

Kaz stared into her glass, thinking of the pain Jake had lived with for so many years, the convoluted feelings toward parents who should have loved him and stood by him but didn't, toward a brother who had selfishly sacrificed Jake for his own freedom. His entire family had failed him, and yet he still remained positive, still had it in him to love his brother.

She didn't hold out much hope for his parents. The choice they'd made almost twenty years ago said way too much about their character.

Or lack of it.

*   *   *

They'd driven around for over an hour, revisiting old haunts, talking, neither of them quite ready to face parents who'd failed them on so many counts. They'd talked some about Ben's many deployments, though he'd obviously not wanted to discuss too many of the details, and, while Jake skipped over much of his time spent as a ward of the state, he'd told Ben about his photography and a little about his courtship with Kaz.

That was something Ben was interested in, along with what little Jake knew about her roommate, Lola. “She's sort of bossy,” Jake said, laughing. “But she loves her sister and Kaz with equal intensity. The three of them are all pretty special.”

He glanced at the street sign and turned left into a cul-de-sac. He'd grown up in this neighborhood. Shouldn't he feel some connection to the area? He didn't feel a thing. It could have been any street in any town. Anywhere.

There were no cars parked on the street, so the Escalade seemed out of place. The house hadn't changed all that much. The trees in the yard were much larger, the landscaping as perfectly manicured as it had always been. A fairly new Lexus sat beside a brand new Porsche Boxster in the driveway.

Jake glanced at his brother. “Looks like Dad still needs his fancy cars.” When Ben didn't comment, he said, “You okay?”

Ben shook his head. “I keep thinking I should feel something for them. For this place. I don't.”

Jake shrugged. “Me, neither, but it's probably because they never felt anything for us. Our parents are a perfect match—they both love their things more than each other. We were things to them, Ben. Not children to love or nurture. I'll be the first to admit that any nurturing I got came from you. To them, we were things they could show off as long as we performed.”

Ben's smile surprised him. “You're right. Damn. That's exactly what we were. Are. Only we're not something they can show off anymore.” He laughed. “It almost makes me look forward to the next few minutes.”

Jake put his hand on Ben's arm and squeezed. It was so good to have him back. “They're not going to like the truth.”

“I know. But I need to clear this up. It's time I moved forward, and until I tell them, at least give them the chance to apologize to you, I'm buried in this crap. You're right. Living in the past is a waste of time and energy. I'd be stuck there for the rest of my life if not for you.”

He opened the door and got out of the car, but he waited for Jake to join him on the sidewalk. Together they walked up to the front porch.

Their father opened the door before either of them had time to ring the bell.

“Ben.” He smiled. “It's good to see you back.” Then he frowned, as if noticing Jake for the first time. His eyes went wide as recognition set in, and he glared at him. “You're not welcome here. Ben, I told you…”

“Andrew? Who's there?”

“Ben's brought RJ.”

“Oh.” She stepped into the foyer, and Jake's first thought was that his mother really needed a better plastic surgeon. She took a quick glance beyond them, probably making sure none of the neighbors were watching. “We can talk inside. Andrew? Close the door, please. Ben? What were you thinking? We told you, RJ—”

“Mother.” Ben stared calmly at both parents. “Shut. Up.”

Her mouth shut. She shot a quick, nervous glance at her husband.

Ben glanced at Jake, and the two of them stepped beyond their parents and went into the formal living room. As kids, they hadn't been allowed in here at all.

The house meant nothing to Jake. He gazed at his mother and father and realized he felt nothing for them, either. If anything, he'd hated them more than he'd hated Ben for all those long years, but now he knew they didn't matter to him enough for him to feel anything. He stopped beside Ben in front of the fireplace, the two of them standing close enough to show a truly united front.

Their parents stood awkwardly for a moment, and then Andrew took one chair and Brenda another. Jake thought of Kaz, of the need he had to be close to her, and he almost felt sorry for the ones who had given him birth.

At least he felt sorry until Ben told their parents what had really happened that night.

Their father was the first to speak. “You're saying you left your brother to serve a prison sentence that should have been yours? Ruined a promising Olympic career to save yourself?”

“I did. It was wrong, and I will carry that shame with me for the rest of my life, but it's time for you and Mom to know the truth.”

“Truth?” Jake had been waiting to see what their mother would say. She stood and pointed at Jake, and said it again. “Truth? You fool! You stupid, stupid fool! You could have had it all, but you went to jail rather than tell the truth? All our time? The training, our money. All wasted. And for what?”

Jake folded his arms across his chest. For some reason, her response had been oddly satisfying. “Because I promised Ben.” He turned to his brother and smiled. “You okay, bro?”

Ben actually returned his smile. “I'm done here if you are.”

“Good. Let's go.”

The two of them headed for the front door. Jake was surprised when their father followed, wondered what he wanted. Andrew opened the door, but he stayed inside when Jake and Ben stepped out on the porch.

“Before you go.” His father took a long look at Jake. “I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, RJ.”

Jake shook his head. “It's Jacob now. RJ grew up.”

His father frowned. He obviously had no idea what his son meant. Then he glanced at the Escalade parked in front. “It appears you've done well.”

Jake chuckled. “I'm surprised you didn't ask me if it was stolen.”

His father seemed taken aback. “It's not, is it?” He glanced at the SUV and back at Jake, but it was more than obvious he had no idea Jake was teasing.

Ignoring him, Jake said, “C'mon Ben. We've been here long enough. You get what you wanted?”

Ben took a long look at their father. “Unfortunately,” he said, “yes.”

“Will you be coming back? I don't know if your mother can—”

“Tell her not to worry,” Ben said. “I have no intention of coming back here.”

“Me, either.” Jake glanced once again at his father. He definitely looked older. Not very happy. He hoped the fancy car in the driveway delivered what the old man needed, but it didn't matter. Jake knew this was most likely the last time he'd ever see him.

Their father nodded, a short, quick jerk of his head. “Good,” he said. “That's good.”

Jake drove off without looking back. Ben stared at the house as they left. “I'm sorry. I never should have forced you to go back there.”

Jake just laughed. He hadn't felt this free in years. “I'm not. I've felt guilty about not going to see them since I got out, thought maybe my anger was out of line. Now I know it's not. If that's not closure, bro, I don't know what is. What about you? You okay?”

Ben seemed to think about that for a while. “I'm disappointed. I figured they wouldn't want any more to do with me, but I guess I thought they'd be a little bit nicer to you.”

“Nothing in it for them to be nicer. Kaz explained it pretty succinctly. When I told her I hadn't seen them since the bailiff led me away after sentencing, she said that good parents would have stood by me. That good parents loved their kids without reservation.”

“In a perfect world, maybe.” Ben turned to stare out the window. “Do you think you and Kaz will have kids?”

His question hung there. Jake glanced at him and shook his head. “I don't know. We haven't talked about kids, but Kaz raised her baby sister, at least until Jilly died in a car accident. She was just seven. When Kaz talks about Jilly, she absolutely glows. Don't be surprised if you end up as an uncle one of these days.”

Ben merely grunted. They were heading down Nineteenth, almost at the turnoff to the girls' house, when he said, “Ya know, one of the guys in my unit told me we were his family, that the one God gave him absolutely sucked, so we were his brothers. He was right. It's not always the family you're born into that's the one that sticks by you. It's the one you build.”