Into the Storm (30 page)

A noise in the hall startled me out of my thoughts. It was still early, but the house was beginning to stir. Brian’s father would be coming for breakfast as he did every Sunday morning. He was the only person I ever saw Brian bow down to. He still controlled the reins at James Enterprises and constantly held a not so silent threat over Brian’s head to take the company away from him. I also knew on some level that was one of the things that drove Brian to be so insistent on the appearance of perfection. That on one level, somehow, I was worth something to him, that my presence was needed, but why it was I still didn’t know.

I rolled over; cringing at the memory of the first time Brian had used his hands instead of his words to inflict pain. We had only been married a couple of months but I already knew it was a huge mistake on my part. Nothing I did pleased Brian. I was found lacking on every level. He treated me like an object to order around rather than a wife. We didn’t even share a bed. And, the control I once found comforting now was oppressive. I had heard him come upstairs and I went to my door asking to speak with him.

Once he was in the room, I told him the truth. Obviously, he didn’t love me. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t think he was either. That perhaps it would be best to divorce and go our separate ways. At first, he stood listening to my halting words, showing no emotion, but the next thing I knew, I was slammed into the wall, his hands gripping my wrists painfully over my head.

“
That
will never happen, Elizabeth. Divorce is
not
an option. You are mine until
I
decide otherwise. This is your life. Get used to it,” he snarled in anger. His hands tightened until I was whimpering in pain. I was sure he was about to break both my wrists. “If you so much as step out of line you will pay for it. Do you understand?”

I nodded, unable to speak with the pain he was inflicting. “You will do what I say, when I say it. I own you. And, that is
not
going to change.” He pushed down even heavier on my trapped wrists and we both heard the snap.

He pulled away and I sank to the floor, staring up at him in agony and terror.

“
Don’t bring this subject up again.” And, he had walked out of the room slamming the door. I had sat there weeping for the longest time. The next morning he took me to the doctor, who set my wrist and put on a cast without asking me a single question.

It was then I knew how truly alone I was.

Brian was right. He owned me. My parents were gone, and I had only a few acquaintances, but no friends in my life. He had made sure of that. There certainly wasn’t anyone I was close enough to that could protect me from Brian. He was too powerful and well-known here. I was viewed as a rich man’s wife, living a life most women dreamed of. No one was aware of my nightmare. I had no money of my own, no job and no one to turn to for help. I had blindly allowed Brian to isolate me entirely.

I sat up in bed with a startling thought.

My memory was back. And, while some things were still fuzzy, others were crystal clear.

Now I understood why Brian didn’t want me to remember. Why he had wanted to find me.

To make sure I kept quiet.

If he knew I had remembered, I would be in even more danger than I was before.

The stillness of the room was broken by my whispered plea.

“
Oh, God,
Joshua,
I need you.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Rabbit

I checked my reflection in the mirror. I was pale and looked tired. But my hair was perfect and my outfit impeccable. I drew in a deep breath, paused and then took another, desperately trying to calm my nerves. I had to do this. I steeled myself and went downstairs to join Brian and his father for breakfast.

They were both in the dining room and I greeted them quietly before sitting down at my place. “You are pastier than usual, Elizabeth,” observed Douglas James with his customary snide bluntness. “As well as tardy.”

I shook my head. I was already found lacking, and I had just walked in. “I apologize. I have another headache. It will pass.”

“
Take your medication,” Brian ordered.

I nodded obediently; I knew whatever it was he’d been giving me wouldn’t help even if I did have a headache. I leaned forward, picking up the pill as Mrs. Smith came through the door with the breakfast plates and I used the distraction to palm the pill instead of swallowing it. I couldn’t afford to be drowsy today.

I listened to the conversation between Brian and his father, only speaking when a question or comment was directed my way, which was not very often. The topics were mainly business. Throughout the entire breakfast I noticed there was a sense of animosity between the two which I could remember feeling before. I had thought that once Brian and I were married I would somehow bring the two of them closer; to be more of a family. I had hoped that one day these breakfasts would include some laughter instead of the veiled resentment Brian showed his father and the cold demeanor he in turn showed towards Brian. It had never happened. I never understood why they insisted on these weekly breakfasts.

I barely touched the bowl of oatmeal in front of me. I disliked oatmeal intensely unless it was covered in brown sugar and cream. I knew, without asking now, that wasn’t an option. My bottom lip suddenly trembled as I fought the wave of emotion that ran through me. I didn’t want this. I wanted a plate of Joshua’s rather lumpy scrambled eggs and his slightly charred toast. I wanted Joshua looking across the table at me shrugging his shoulders, his eyes dancing as he watched me eat his latest attempt at breakfast. I thought of his warmth. How just being in the same room as him made me feel safe and content. I caught my bottom lip in my teeth as the trembling increased.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, I startled when I heard Brian voice my name in annoyance, bringing me back to the present and the cold atmosphere of the dining room. I blinked at him, praying he would blame the behavior on the headache rather than anything else. He frowned at my seeming lack of concentration, but only reminded me of my appointment with the trainer that afternoon. I nodded, picking up my cup of tea to hide my trembling lip. He instructed me that there would be a car waiting for me at 9 a.m. to take me to the library the next day and would return at 3 p.m. to pick me up. I managed to remain calm and acknowledged his statements quietly.

Brian placed his elbows on the table and looked at me. His voice was steady as he informed me a bodyguard would be accompanying me at all times when I left the house in the morning. I wanted to snort with laughter when he stated stiffly that it was for my own protection since the people who had kidnapped me were still at large. Instead, I nodded and thanked him quietly for his concern, the whole time my fingers dug into my leg, fighting the desire to stand up and scream at him that I knew the truth. To tell him I remembered the horrid way he had treated me; that I remembered
everything
. But I remained silent.

After breakfast, I went up to my room, relieved for the brief time I wouldn’t have to struggle to hold back my emotions. I sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to relax while my brain raced.

A bodyguard. I felt the growing dread inside my stomach.

He was watching me. Waiting for my memory to return. Waiting for me to run.

I shuddered. What was he going to do when he realized it had returned?

What was I going to do when he knew?

The next morning, the car pulled up outside the library and I sighed in quiet relief. This was always one place I was fairly free. I began to walk up the steps eagerly when my bodyguard, Bob, appeared beside me.

“
You need to wait for me, Mrs. James,” he stated gruffly.

I stopped, catching myself. I nodded and continued walking. I had to pretend I didn’t know where to go. Or, who anyone was. This was going to be harder than I thought.

An hour later, I was ensconced in my little office at the back of the library. I had been shown around by Kate, who informed me quietly she was sorry to hear of my ‘horrible ordeal’ and the resulting brain injury and memory problem I was left with. She quietly expressed that she hoped I would settle back in all right. Internally, I grimaced at what Brian was telling people. They were under the impression I was confused and not quite ‘with it,’ and needed to be treated accordingly. No doubt in case I suddenly accused him of something, he could point out the fact that I was acting irrationally and what I said could not be taken seriously. He was already setting the groundwork to make me look unstable in case my memory returned.

I blinked and realized Kate was looking at me. I had totally missed what she was saying. “Sorry, Kate,” I apologized, having just demonstrated exactly the kind of behavior Brian would want to see to prove him right. “I was just … thinking,” I shrugged self-consciously.

She smiled in understanding and patted me on the arm. She then told me they had purposely kept my schedule light for the next couple weeks so I could ease back in. I thanked her and she left me in my office, promising to come back and check on me soon. Bob was down the hall where he had a clear visual on anyone coming or going in the area.

I looked around, soaking in the familiar room. There were piles of books on every surface and pictures that the children I read to had made for me on the walls. I loved the clutter. I knew Brian never came here so I was able to leave it the way I liked it. I could see Bob glancing my way so I made a show of looking around and inspecting the things around me like I didn’t recognize them. Then I sat down at my desk and turned on the computer.

My first goal was to try and locate Joshua. Unsure where to start and not wanting to look overly eager, I forced myself to pay attention to other tasks that were waiting on my desk as well. Once I was sure Bob had grown bored with watching me shuffle papers and tap on the keyboard, I took the list of ideas I had out of my pocket and started searching. I kept stealing glances at him, but he was far more absorbed in the contents of his phone than what I was actually doing now that I was at my desk.

Joshua was very good at hiding. There were lots of articles on him, but no recent pictures. There were a couple of grainy ones from when he was much younger and even those images my eyes drank in greedily. All of his interviews were voice or print only and there were very few personal details that I could find. Unable to resist, I plugged in my earphones and listened to a brief interview. Just hearing his warm voice brought tears to my eyes, and I had to blink them away when Kate appeared in my door to see if I wanted coffee. I quickly cleared my browser history, grabbed my mug and joined her. Bob only followed to the end of the hall and watched as we entered the staff lounge. I sighed as I poured a cup of coffee, already feeling the strain of the day.

“
You okay, Elizabeth?” Kate asked quietly.

I nodded. “Just trying to find my feet, you know?”

She nodded kindly. “I’m glad you’re back.”

I forced a smile. “I am as well.”