Into the Tomorrows (Bleeding Hearts Book 1) (28 page)

T
he tent was small
, which suited me just fine because it left little room for us to be apart. As soon as we were inside the tent, he zipped it closed and turned to me again. I reached my hands up to his neck and he had to duck from the low ceiling anyway.

Before I could stop myself, I was unbuttoning his flannel shirt and tugging it off of him. The fitted t-shirt came next. I tore it off and flung it across the tent, which wasn’t far. My hands ran down his chest, over the grooves of muscle until they met the waist of his jeans.

Jude grabbed the zipper on my sweater and slowly pulled it down. I wished I could’ve seen his eyes, but I settled for his static breathing and his hands slowly touching every inch of me he could.

My shirt came after, but Jude didn’t immediately remove my bra. His finger hooked in the center and he tugged me close to him, holding me just by that small piece of fabric as he dropped a kiss on my lips. “I wish I could see you,” he said against my mouth.

“Use your hands,” I said, grasping his wrist and pulling his hand down my torso.

“Oh, I’d planned to.” His voice was all rumbly, rolling right over me in the most exhilarating way.

My hand slid up his chest, down his muscular arms. His skin was so warm, hard in places from the muscle. Virile. The word slipped in my head again as he stood before me. The first time I’d thought it, I’d just looked at him. And now, I got to touch him.

I hooked my hand in the front of his jeans and that’s when the nerves made me shake. I wanted this, wanted him. And the power of my need for Jude was so shocking that I had to catch my breath.

“You first,” Jude said, as if he saw how anxious I suddenly was. He lowered in front of me to his knees and kissed the skin under my belly button. “We’re going to have to do this again, in the light, so I can see and touch.”

I closed my eyes, because feeling his breath right there was too much to process with just one sense. He brushed his stubble along my skin as his hands glided up the backs of my thighs, squeezing me over the running tights I wore. He was so, so close to touching my skin. Knowing all that separated us was a thin layer of fabric was overwhelming.

His thumbs hooked into my tights from either side of my hips and tugged down. The cool air hit my skin but then was replaced with the warmth of Jude’s hands and I shuddered a breath from the sensory difference.

When his hands came back up to my waist while he was still on his knees before me, I couldn’t wait. I dropped to my knees in front of him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and then kissed the hell of out his mouth.

His hands came up my back, fingers snaking under the strap of my bra as he touched my skin there.

My skin was suddenly too tight, too warm—as if I was burning from the inside out, melting with no escape.

His fingers finally undid the clasp on the back of my bra and then he leaned forward, one arm braced around my back and the other under my knees as he laid me on top of the silky-feeling sleeping bag. It was cool against my skin, which was a relief from the heat that Jude was igniting across my every pore. The hand around my back slid out and he climbed over me. My eyes were adjusting to the dark enough that I could make out the curve of his smile as his face came to my chest.

He kissed the center of my chest before moving down. His lips chased the burn that his stubble caused, and I was falling apart from the sensory overload when his hand cupped my breast.

He squeezed it gently, then rolled a finger over my nipple, pulling it down and letting go. I was completely exposed to him. It may have been dark, but he found every part of my body that required his attention as if his vision was completely clear.

I watched as his mouth came down, kissing the underside of my other breast. It caused me to squirm underneath him, and he surprised me when his hand grasped my hip, pausing my movements.

His lips dropped open mouth kisses across my breast until his mouth captured my nipple. I felt the slightest tug from his teeth and arched my back under him.

From there, his lips moved down my chest until he reached the edge of my underwear. His finger slid down my front, right over my center, causing my eyes to widen from the sensation. The hand that still held my hip let go, the fingers slipping just under the edge of the elastic on my underwear.

I wanted to scream at him to take them off of me. I was molten, needing a release, but at the same time I was drowning in the sensations that Jude was giving me, just by the lightest touches of his hands and mouth. His fingers slid out of my underwear and down my center, brushing against the heat. The sensation was so sharp that I bucked.

When he moved off of me, I wanted to yell, but my eyes had adjusted just enough to the dark that I could see his hands on his waist, unbuttoning his jeans. My hands reached for him, meeting bare thigh, and slid up until I answered my own question.

He wasn’t wearing underwear. The thought made me shiver.

My hands caressed him softly before he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and tugged me to standing.

“I want you.” He said it solidly, because that’s how he did everything. “More than this. I want you.”

I didn’t know what to say so I kissed him. He pulled back but I didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to talk. Not when I was burning up. He picked me up so I was wrapped around his waist. Our heads met the top of the tent, but feeling his warmth against me was all I could think about.

Once again, Jude lowered me to the ground, and tugged my underwear off my legs while he kneeled between them. His hands slid up my inner thighs, spreading me wide, until he was at my center. He paused a minute, brushing against me with his knuckles.

Again, I arched my hips. The slightest touch had triggered a reaction, causing me to want to wrap all my limbs around him and hold on as long as I could.

I heard the crinkle of foil and then watched the silhouette of his arm move to himself. I wanted to see him, but the touch of him was more than enough at the moment and when he leaned back over me, pressing a kiss to my stomach, my chest, and then my lips—I was bereft of absolutely nothing.

He slid inside of me and the shock of it caused me to exhale right into his mouth. My legs went around his hips and we moved to a rhythm that felt natural—neither quick or slow.

We moved fluidly together, like everything was as it should be. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself. Luckily, he was so in sync with I wanted that he pulled me with him, so he held me and pushed into me as he cradled me on his lap.

His hands came to my butt, lifting me in time with his thrusts. My head fell to his shoulder as everything built up inside of me. Each stroke drove me up higher, higher, until I felt like I wasn’t even present anymore—I was somewhere else, watching my body splintering apart in his hands.

I bit into his shoulder when the rush flooded—finally—the warmth lasting far longer than I’d ever expected. Seconds later, he was with me, kissing my neck and then grunting against my skin.

We held each other like that for several moments until Jude’s hands moved the hair off of my shoulder and he kissed my neck. He turned my face and kissed my mouth too, with a tenderness that equaled the way he’d treated me all along.

* * *

I
must have fallen
asleep briefly because when Jude kissed my lips and said my name softly in the dark, I was under the sleeping bag, cocooned in warmth.

“Jude,” I sighed against his mouth and wrapped my arm around his neck. “Where’d you go?” I asked, registering that there couldn’t have been room for both of us inside the sleeping bag.

“I put away our food. I think I’ve seen enough of bears for the day.”

I laughed, feeling so completely at ease. My fingers made lazy circles on his arm. “Did you put away the stuff for s’mores too?”

“I left it out, in case you were up for some still.”

“Absolutely.” I sat up to get a shirt and pants on, but Jude stopped me, grabbing my face and kissing me again. He held me so solid, so sure—that I wondered if he could taste my feelings for him, if they echoed in him.

I felt the love I had for him rise up to my tongue, but I kept it at bay. It was too soon. Everything with Jude was so much more than I was used to, in all the best ways, but because he was the more, I didn’t want to screw it up. So I kissed him as wholly as I could, hoping he’d feel it by touch.

“I brought your bag in here,” he said, sliding it across the tent floor.

“Thank you,” I said, cupping his cheek and giving him another kiss. “I’ll be out in a second.”

I dressed in fleece leggings, a tank and a sweater before I left the tent. Jude had set up our camp chairs by the fire and was currently using a small knife to shave down the tip of a stick.

I plopped in the chair and sighed, feeling all languid and warm. The fire was burning high, little crackles soaring up into the sky with a pop. Jude’s eyebrows were drawn together as he whittled the end of the stick into a point, scraping off the bark.

In the cup holder on my chair was a bottle of chocolate milk and I laughed, uncapping it and taking a long pull. “You and your chocolate milk.”

“It’s delicious,” he said with a shrug and a grin.

When the stick was whittled to his satisfaction, he grabbed a marshmallow from the bag on the cooler between our chairs. He shoved it onto the stick and then looked over at me. “I can cook it for you, if you want?”

I nodded, capping the chocolate milk and putting it back in the hole. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

I rolled my eyes at his teasing. “Okay. Not to make this awkward, but where’d you get the condom from?”

There was silence for a second before Jude’s laugh lit up our space. “Oh, right.” He rubbed a hand over his head. “Yeah, that probably seems presumptuous, but I assure you I didn’t pack it with any … intentions … in mind.” He gave me an apologetic smile. “I keep it in my wallet. Just in case. Well…”

He looked so flustered and it was the first time I’d seen him stumble over his words. I laughed because seeing him avoiding my eyes from light embarrassment was one of the most adorable things I’d ever seen. “It’s okay, Jude. You’re a man, I get it.”

“I just don’t want you to think that I assume anything with you. I don’t—I am pretty much just following your lead here.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs.

“I don’t want to push you—because I know this happened rather quickly and so soon after…” his voice trailed off and I winced, not wanting to think about Colin right now. “But any clarity from you would be great right about now.” The light illuminated his face, so I could see that his eyes were guarded, uncomfortable. As amazing as the sex had been between us, we hadn’t defined who we were together.

“I’ll be honest. As honest as I can be. That, with you, it was…” my stomach was heavy as Jude watched my face for my reaction. “Everything. That’s the best thing I can say. I’m still trying to figure out who I am—when I’m not part of an ‘and’ so please, just be patient.”

“I can do that.” He turned the stick over the fire and then looked back at me. “You know you’re everything too, right?”

My breath got caught in my throat.

“Everything,” he repeated softly, his voice so low that it rumbled. “And when you’re ready, I’ll be ready.”

* * *

I
awoke
to a heavy arm across my abdomen, my body overly warm. It was still dark, but a persistent beat was piercing the silence.

“Jude,” I whispered.

His mouth was right by my neck so when he breathed deeply, I felt it warm my skin. “Hi,” he said.

I went gooey. One simple, two-lettered word had reduced to me to goo in his arms.

“Your alarm is going off.”

“Oh.” He reached behind his head and pulled his phone out. I saw his face illuminated by the blue screen, his sleepy eyes as he tried to turn it off.

“Here, let me.” I took the phone from his hands and pressed the button on the screen. “It’s six.”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice gravely. “We need to get on the road so we can see the rest of Yellowstone before our flight.”