Authors: Danielle Sibarium
My mother stood at the kitchen sink scrubbing a burnt pot. I placed my hands on her shoulders and
kissed her on top of her head.
“You know you’ll always be the most importan
t woman in my life, don’t you?”
“If that were true you might have given me warning before dropping your little bombshell.”
I shut the water off and turned her to face me, “I’m sorry.”
“You wil
l be,” her eyes looked fierce.
I picked up a walnut and nut cracker from the bowl on the counter, and cracked it open. “I love her.”
My mother just looked at me. “She’s going to break your heart.”
I leaned against the counter, “Why?
Because we haven’t dated for five or ten years? Because those relationships always work out.”
She shook her head. “She's just like Jamie. I don’t understand why you can’t see that.”
“Because she works in a medical office?”
“That’s right. She’s looking
to find herself a rich doctor."
"Mom, come on. Jamie was the exception, not the rule. There were plenty of women working for Dad, young and old. And J
amie didn't even work for him."
"And who is to say nothing happened before Jamie? Can you?"
"No. But can you be sure he slept with them all?"
"I'm telling you, Carter. She's a little gold digger.
Nothing more.”
I shook my head. “If that were true she wouldn’t be with me.”
“Exactly. And once she reels in a bigger fish, she’ll leave you like yesterday’s trash.”
“I don’t think she’s going to reel in this fish.”
“What makes you so certain?”
“She works for Dad.”
My mother’s eyes blazed. I regretted telling her, but it was better out in the open. She turned from me, back to the burnt pot, signaling the end of the conversation.
I put my arms around her waist and kissed her head. “You’ll never think anyone is good enough for me. It’s part of that mother/ son thing.”
“I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’d rather take the chance of having my heart broken again, than live without her. She's brought color back into my life and made me realize I
was just existing. My emotions were bottled up and I cut myself off from everyone and everything. Now I feel again. I feel alive, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her because already she's a part of me. A part I never want to be without.”
“That’s your prerogative. But don’t ask for my blessing. I won’t give it.”
“I’m sorry to hear that because I am going to marry her. And I’d love for you to be part of our life together.”
I turned to leave, but hesitated a moment, hopeful my mother might have a change of heart. She continued to scrub the pot, as if getting the black off the pot would change the situation at hand. I walked out of the room, leaving my mother to stew, believi
ng in time she’d come around.
*
It was midnight when the Christmas festivities at Aunt Rose’s came to an end. We said our goodbyes and headed home. I watched Elizabeth nestle against the soft leather of the passenger seat of my car. She looked happy. I took her hand into mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Your family is amazing,” she gushed.
“They are pretty special. But you know, they're going to be your family soon, too.”
"Carter?" I heard the question in her voice.
"Oh, no you don't. You said ‘Yes.’ I have witnesses."
She giggled. "Are we rushing into this?"
"I don't need to wait a year or two to know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're already woven so completely into my soul; I'm not whole without you."
She smiled. And I couldn’t help noticing the glow on her face illuminated by the dashboard and moonlight. Being with her was easy. Every minute didn’t have to be filled with mindless chatter highlighting the nonsense in her life the way it did with other girls. It was only one of the many things that made our relationship special. The warmth of the silence betw
een us spoke volumes.
Elizabeth brushed her hand over mine, sending waves of pleasure through my body. No one else, not even Jamie, ever affected me like that. Just that simple touch had me in
a frenzy, rushing to get her home, and into bed. Knowing how close I was to both, my desire for her grew, until it was painful. All I wanted was to relinquish my self-control.
There was a small part of me that worried she'd say ‘No’ when I asked her to marry me. It's true, we hadn't been seeing each other long, but I knew she was the one. If not, I would've lost interest long ago. But she kept me just as
intrigued as the night we met.
And the fact that she didn't walk out on me Friday, meant somewhere deep inside, she had to think the same about me.
Because anyone else in their right mind would've left without a second thought.
It wasn’t until we arrived at Elizabeth’s apartment that I noticed the tinge of sadness clouding her eyes. “What’s wrong?” I asked pulling her close. I wanted this night to be perfect, so if there was anything I could do, some way to fix whatever
saddened her, I would do it.
Elizabeth hesitated a moment biting her bottom lip. She was stalling. She didn't want to tell me. "I can't make it better if you don't tell me what's wrong," I didn’t want to push too hard and end up ruining the magic
of the evening. "Just say it."
“I wish she didn’t hate me.”
I smirked feeling relieved. I worried she changed her mind, that she'd say she didn't want to embarrass me in front of my family, and no, she didn't really want to marry me.
“She’ll come around,” I held her chin and kissed her, taking my time to slide my open hand down her neck. I heard her inhale and pushed my mother from my conscious thoughts. I wanted to focus my attention on Elizabeth.
On getting her out of her clothes and into her bed.
“What makes you so sure?”
she asked pulling away just enough to meet my eyes.
“
Mmm,” I moaned as I slid my hands under her dress and up her toned thighs. I hooked my fingers into her panties and shimmied them off, lowering my body along with them, until I was on the ground kneeling in front of her. “Family means the world to her. She’ll adore the mother of her grandchildren.”
“Grandchildren?”
Elizabeth's eyes opened wide, fear colored her voice.
I needed to get her mind off my mother, off children, and back on me. I knew I could start by getting her out of her clothes. "Elizabeth, take off your dress."
She looked down at me, her eyes were still full of apprehension, but she pulled the dress over her head.
"Tonight I want to do something I haven't done yet. I want to taste you."
She shook her head, her eyes filled with outright terror. "No, don't."
I moved my hands up and down her legs, hoping to calm and relax her. "No, you don't want me to? Or are you afraid?"
"I'm afraid. No one's ever . . ." Her eyes left mine as she took her bottom lip between her teeth.
"Elizabeth, I'm just going to kiss you. That's all. Kiss you here." I lifted her foot and brought it to my mouth. "And here," I reached for her hand and moved my lips and tongue over her palm. "Kiss you everywhere. And while I'm kissing you, I want you to imagine what'll be like when you're my wife.
When we're on our honeymoon." She was breathing hard. "I want you to think about all the things you want me to do to your body. Especially the ones you're too shy to say out loud."
I reached my hands around, taking hold of her backside. "Just close your eyes and feel me touching you. Don't think about anything else." I circled my tongue on the area inside her leg just above her k
nee. She sucked in her breath.
"That's right baby. Relax." I pulled her down to the floor so that she was lying on her back as I continued using my mouth to caress her leg, up her thigh. Her fingers wound tight in my hair, pulling softly every now and then.
Until I reached my destination, and her hands flung out to her sides, bracing herself against the hard floor.
Chapter 39
Elizabeth
We lay on the floor, trying to catch our breath. It seemed like every time he touched me, it was a new experience. Like we were touring the world together, and each touch was a new city in a faraway country.
"Did that do anything for you?" he teased, tapping my nose with the tip of his finger.
"Very funny.
Were you serious before?"
"About acting out your wildest fantasies?
Absolutely."
"About wanting a lot of kids."
Carter pulled me close and kissed the top of my head. "I was. On both accounts."
I never thought much about kids. I assumed I'd have children sometime in the future, but now that futu
re seemed a lot closer.
"Children frighten me. They're little, they can't speak. And they don't like me much."
“They're really not that scary, and I'll be involved. I won't leave all the diapers and sleepless nights to you. Besides by the time we get to the fourth or fifth, you'll get the hang of it.” His mouth covered mine. I didn't pull away to argue, but as his lips traveled from my mouth down to my breast, I couldn't hold back anymore.
“Don
’t you think that’s excessive?”
His teeth clasped around my nipple while his tongue flicked over it back and forth. Carter's eyes held mine the entire time, making me almost for
get what we were talking about.
“I love kids. And, I can’t wait to get started.” He reached an arm around the small of my back, placed the other on my flat stomach, an
d circled his palm on it.
I liked the
feeling, and the excitement in his eyes as he spoke about us growing as a family. That's what we were going to be, our very own family. The idea of a baby inside me made me want him all over again.
“I think we should s
tart working on it right now.”
“You’re joking right?” While excited and enthralled, I was at the same time terrified. My
heart raced to a furious beat.
“Not at all.”
I got caught up in the moment, flirting with the fantasy. He got to his feet, extended a hand to help me up and led me over to the bed. I knew I needed to be upfront and clear. No babies, not yet.
“I know the old saying, practice makes perfect, but until our wedding night, you keep it wrapped up. Got it?”
He rolled his eyes playfully. "Got it."
*
Carter lie on his side next to me, resting his head on his hand, his eyes bright and shining, a goofy grin on his face. He brushed a stray hair from my face. “You know, you are incredibly sexy.”
“Thank you.”
"I'm so lucky to have found you. Tonight you made me the happiest man on the face of the earth."
"Isn't that what Lou Gehrig said in his famous speech?"
"Making fun of my lack of creativity?"
"Never."
Carter closed his eyes and lie flat on his back. “I wish you were pregnant.”
“You were serious?”
He nodded. “I can’t wait to come home from work to find you cooking and chasing after little ones, complaining that they're driving you crazy.”
“You mean after I get home from work, too, right?”
“You’re not going to work once we have kids.”
Holding the sheet over me like a shield, I sat up. “This is really about your father isn’t it?”
Carter stared at me a moment too long. It was that slight hesitation that gave him away. “No.”
“We're engaged. I agreed to love and cherish you for the rest of my life. Don’t lie to
me about something so serious.”
“I grew up with my mother home. Is it so wrong to want that for my own children?”
I wanted to ask him how that worked out for her, but clasped my mouth shut. Tonight was supposed to be memorable. I didn't want to remember a knock-down-drag-out-fight. And I knew his mother wasn't happy with the surprise engagement. She probably played on his weakness, putting doubts about me in his head.
Only time would help Carter. Trust was fragile and delicate, and I'd do all I could to grow it, rather than break it. I looked down at my engagement ring. It had been the greatest evening of my life. Time would heal, and it would reveal. I could make promises until my heart stopped beating, but on
ly time would prove them true.
“Fine.”
I answered sliding back down, nestling against Carter. We'd argue about it when there was something to argue about. Right now it was all just make believe. But somewhere deep inside me, I heard a niggling voice in my heart tell me that it wasn’t at all fine.
I closed my eyes taking comfort in Carter’s body against mine, telling myself I had the rest of my life to convince him otherwise.