Authors: Danielle Sibarium
"Another cheesy line?"
Carter smiled. "No. Not a cheesy line. The truth is, something really good happened at work today, and I want to celebrate, and the only person I want to do that with is you."
From that moment, I knew he spelled trouble. He'd go after what he wanted at full steam and wouldn't take no for an answer. I began to fall in love with him at that moment. I fell hard and fast.
Chapter 12
Carter
I did it. I found her. It just took some simple deduction. If she told the truth and had to go for groceries there were three large supermarkets in the area. I ruled out the furthest one. Even though it was only ten minutes away I guessed if she went there it was probably on weekends. That left two. I opted for the one I believed to be closest to where she lived, even though I wasn't one hundred percent certain of that either.
I knew she didn't get off work until five, and hoped she'd go straight to the store. Maybe it was a little
stalkerish of me to sit in my car and watch everyone entering the supermarket, but it was my lucky day. And when I saw her, when I knew I succeeded, I didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that I scored big time.
I went inside ready to go after what I wanted. I didn't even consider my unhinged behavior might frighten Elizabeth off. I watched the surprise on her face as she collected the roses, but the payoff came when I approached her. Her eyes lit, and walls around my heart crumbled. What was
it about her that possessed me?
She did have me possessed. In truth I bordered on obsessed. As the days passed I spoke to her more and more. I needed to hear her voice. I stumbled through the days with my head up my ass until we spoke. I needed the reassurance that I was on her mind, and the only guy she was see
ing.
The only way to get it without her knowing was to see and hear the excitement I riled up in her. At first I believed it made me stronger, I told myself it only meant when I was ready I could have my way with her. I was in charge, and when I made the move she'd comply. Even right from the start in those first days I realized she was poison coursing throug
h my veins, killing me slowly.
I lost my sense and judgment when it came to Elizabeth. She could've coaxed me into jumping off a bridge with the promise of her heart and a night in bed. As I realized this, I understood I was in over my head. I only hoped to be able to tread water long enough to get to the edge of the pool. Then hopefully I'd still have enough strength to pull myself out.
Chapter 13
Elizabeth
As the weekend approached, the second of our short relationship, I expected to hear from Carter. I heard from him every day since we met, and weekend nights were notorious sex nights. He could deny it all he wanted, but that was what he was after, what he wanted. At the end of the day, that was what all guys wanted.
I made a concerted effort to pull my mind off Carter and back onto my work. I had to make sure I entered all the insurance information properly. I hated medical billing and the tedious attention to detail that went along with it, but it was a job. They were so hard to come by these days. Even though I didn't love it, I appreciated it.
Just as I refocused on the pile in front of me, my phone rang. I checked the caller ID. It was him. My lips curled up into a smile. I felt it in my stomach. That funny tumbling sense, the excitement and relief mingled together that made this first stage of the relationship special. I wondered if it would be the only stage I went through with Carter before we self-destructed.
An actual phone call.
I wondered if he planned to coax me into seeing him tonight, or let me down easy. This early in the day he'd been sending text messages if he wanted to communicate. Every time my phone chimed with a message from him I felt happy and giddy, but after hearing the sound of his voice, the butterflies soared.
"So I was thinking we could curl up on the couch and watch a movie tonight. What do you say? I'll even let you pick."
He was so transparent. This was his way of trying to move things along. Uh, uh. No way was I ready for that, not the way I reacted to him, not with the longing I felt every time he was near.
"There's nothing I really want to see. Why don't we just go to the movies instead?"
"With all the movies on demand, and the huge selection we can rent from, there's nothing you want to see?"
He saw through me, the same way I saw through him. But just like he wouldn't admit curling up on the couch was a rouse to getting in my pants, I wouldn't let on that being in a public setting was insurance that he wouldn't.
"There's this really cute romantic comedy . . ."
"A chick flick?
You want to go to an actual theater with people and uncomfortable seats and still expect me to see a chick flick?"
I smirked, knowing he wouldn't see it.
"Pretty much. After all, you said I get to pick. Besides, when was the last time you went to the movies? Now they have these really cool reclining chairs. It's very comfortable."
"Great." I heard the disappointment in his voice. Oh well, if he wanted to spend Friday night together, he'd have to get over it.
I sat at my desk smiling for a few minutes before getting back to work. That land-mine was averted, though I wondered how many more I could side step before one blew up in my face.
Chapter 14
Carter
I looked over at Elizabeth in the chair next to me. She looked like a child as she reclined it all the way back and nestled against the soft leather. I wished it were me she was leaning against. That
wouldn't be happening tonight.
She insisted on meeting me in front of the movie theater at the mall. She claimed it didn't make sense for me to pick her up when she lived so close. I knew it was just an attempt to avoid the awkward end of the night invitation. She didn't want to feel obligated to invi
te me in.
That was fine. I wanted to savor this time with her; the innocent stage of our relationship before I tainted it. I didn't know how much longer I could be satisfied with a sweet kiss at the end of the night. It was time to move to the next phase.
Thinking about it started a fire roaring inside me. I wanted her, wanted to touch her in places that would make her flush with heat and desire. Kiss parts of her body she didn't yet know she wanted kissed. Uh, oh. I had to get my mind off the scandalous things I wanted to do to her body. Too late, I was already hard. At least we were in the dark.
Maybe if she saw what she did just by being near me, she'd admit she wanted me too. I'd just have to wait her out, wear her down, and hope she was worth it.
Elizabeth laughed at something in the movie, and then slid her arm close to mine before reaching for my hand. Oh shit. We were holding hands. Like love sick teenagers. A warm, gushy feeling spread across my chest. I swallowed hard as I felt an unfamiliar ache, a pang of something I yearned for.
It was a welcome feeling. One that made my heart race and my mouth go dry. One that made it easier to breathe like each gulp of oxygen brought me to someplace fresh and new. It was all exhilarating, and I wanted to expe
rience more of it. More of her.
W
hat the hell was wrong with me?
*
From the minute she took my hand in hers, I fought a silent battle raging inside me. I could prove her right and be the douche bag she accused me of being or I could take a risk and show her who I really was. Even if just a peek.
I hadn't let anyone see inside me in so long, I didn't know if that kind, caring side even existed anymore, or if I succeeded in my murderous quest to wipe it out. But the feelings that surfaced when she took my hand had me convinced I cared about her much more than I should have.
"Did I do something to upset you?" she asked as we walked out of the theater into the lobby, acutely aware of my silent mood swing. How the hell did she do that?
"Of course not.
Why?"
"You haven't spoken to me all night."
"It's rude to talk during the movie."
"Oh," The look on her face clouded over. She knew I was holding back, that I wasn't telling her the whole story.
"If that's all."
"You want to go somewhere?"
She hesitated. Maybe she was just as conflicted as me. "I don't know."
"C'mon. We don't even have to
go
anywhere, there's a sports bar here. Let's have a drink together."
"I'll pass."
"Oh, no, you don't." I stopped myself from reaching my arm around her waist and pulling her against me. I wanted to feel her body up against mine, even if we were side by side. "You chose the movie, I get to pick what we do next, unless you want me to follow you home. You know I'll do it." I teased.
*
We took a seat at a tall round table in the bar area. It was loud, but with my laser like focus on Elizabeth, I didn't miss a word.
"If you weren't having the time of your life with me, what would you be doing tonight?"
She smiled. "I didn't have any plans. Most likely I would've read a book, or watched something on T.V."
"You’re kidding, right? Why wouldn't you be out letting loose?"
Her eyes dropped to the glass of beer in front of her. A glass she'd only sipped from once. "I'm not the type of girl you want, Carter."
Those words were a dagger in my heart. A searing pain I never wanted to feel again rose to the surface
.
"I don't equate sex to having a good time. It's not my style. I just can't have that kind of relationship unless I'm emotionally vested, and that means the guy I'm with has to be, too."
Her words cut me to the quick. Did she still think that little of me? Didn't my relentless pursuit of her throughout these last two weeks prove that I liked her, a lot? Of course any rational girl wouldn't see that, but I knew. I never felt this crazy need to be with someone at all times the way I did with her. At least not in years.
"That's what you think I'm after? Just a quick lay?"
She tilted her head to the side. "Aren't you?"
I leaned in. If she thought she was going to put me on the spot and throw me off my game, she was dead wrong. "I wouldn't be here if I was. I'm still trying to figure out which category I fit into, the ones you like, or the ones you really like. I'm doing everything I can to fit into the latter."
"Why?" I saw a hint of fear mixed with curiosity in her eyes.
I didn't want to dig deep into my emotional storage to analyze my feelings for her. But I wanted her to know she was special, different from the other girls I'd been with. "It wouldn't be fair if
I was the only one in so deep."
She shook her head, she didn't believe me. She wouldn't take me at face value like other girls. Then again, other girls knew it was just about hooking up and having fun. There were no feelings involved.
None that went deeper than lust.
"Carter, I'm laying my cards out for a reason. This is your get out of jail free card. I like you. But . . ." Her eyes drifted down again and she leaned back in her chair, withdrawing.
She lied. This was more than a simple attraction. She felt more than the she wanted to feel, too. And it frightened her, made her nervous. She wanted some sort of reassurance.
A warm light spread inside of me, bringing life back to the cold dead parts of my heart. She felt the same way, the same jumble of emotions, only she wouldn't bring herself to tell me.
"You can walk away, no hard feelings."
"Why would I want to?" I took her hand in mine, hoping this would settle the part of her that was afraid to trust me, afraid to give me a chance.
She looked down at our hands awed. Her eyes opened wide, like a doe caught in headlights. We hadn't done this before tonight, had this innocent yet meaningful contact. There was something about having her delicate hand in mine that made my spirit soar. I wished she could sense my thoughts and feelings just through this simple connection so I wouldn't have to verbalize them.
"Because I'm not willing to just hand over what you want.
I want more. I need more."
I no
dded. "And I'm fine with that."
I was. While being so close to her with no physical release promised to drive me mad, it was a craziness I welcomed, a frenzy I wanted to feed. I didn't know where the cards would fall in the end, but I had no problem playing the hand she just dealt. I'd just have to take a lot of cold showers until she felt comfortable enough to give herself over to me.
Chapter 15
Elizabeth
The smell of burning rubber filled the car as the tires screeched in protest. Carter turned the wheel hard to the right swerving two lanes across the highway. Angry horns blared, fading in the distance. I caught my breath as the car came to a halting stop on the shoulder of the road.
“Are you out of your mind?
” I roared clutching my chest.
He looked at me, cocked his head to the side and smiled, looking more adorable than any grown man had the right to, “Only when I look at you.”