INVITING FIRE (A Sydney Rye Novel, #6) (9 page)

But I stepped to the balcony door instead and slid open the screen. My feet bare, Blue close to my side, I padded along the side of the villa and peered into the living room. Lenox wasn't there. Blue let out a low growl and, looking further down the deck, I saw Lenox sitting in one of the rocking chairs. He was still and silent, sitting in the dark. In his dark suit, Lenox was hard to see.

"I didn't want to startle you again," he said. "Just wanted to check out the stars." I looked out over the view. The moon hung like a half smile above us, casting little light, which allowed the starscape to shine brightly. "It is beautiful here."

"Yes," I said, crossing the space between us and standing next to him. "Can I get you a glass of wine?" I asked.

"That's not what I came for," he said, standing up.

My heart beat faster as he rose to his full height. Tall and broad, his smile soft in the dark, Lenox smelled like sandalwood and coconut, perhaps the hint of brandy... but I could have made that up. Blue touched my hip with his nose and I put my free hand on his head, taking a quick sip of my wine. "Then why did you come?" I asked. "Did everything go okay?"

Lenox reached out and took one of the straps of my shirt between his fingers, his skin lingering against mine. I shivered so that the surface of the wine in my glass shimmered. I stepped away. Lenox let the strap slip from his fingers as I moved toward the glass door leading to the living room door. "Cynthia will be home soon," I said, looking into the brightly lit room.

"She left," Lenox said, keeping his distance. "The weather was good tonight and Merl didn't want to delay."

"Oh," I said. Another friend gone, I thought.

"What's wrong, Sydney?" Lenox asked. "I can't imagine you have not thought about this."

"I don't know what you mean."

"There has been a current between us since we first spoke on the phone," he said. Last time Lenox propositioned me I'd almost gone for it, but my feelings for Mulberry and Dan were too roiled up. I hadn't touched a person since awakening from my datura slumber. The only lover I had was in my dream. The thought made me giggle. I was being monogamous with a night terror.

"What?" Lenox asked.

I didn't look over at him. "I can't, Lenox."

"Why not?"

"It seems like a bad move?" I said, my voice a question more than a statement.

"That's not it," Lenox said as he stepped behind me placing his warm hands on my shoulders. They were big and his fingers trailed down my biceps raising goosebumps across my skin. I turned around and looked up into his eyes. They were caramel colored with hints of green and blue, hooded and heavy, confident.

"I've been having this dream," I admitted, not realizing I was going to say it until the truth left my lips. I hadn't told anyone about the dream.

Lenox's hands paused and his eyebrows inched together. "What dream?"

"I..."

"Sexual?"

"Yes."

"Do you come?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you feel good?"

"I feel pain," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

He maintained eye contact. "Pain and pleasure run right next to each other, they lie in each other's embrace. Distinguishing their limbs can be difficult."

"What about Dan and Mulberry?"

"They are not here."

"It's so complicated."

"You don't trust yourself."

I nodded.

"Then trust me."

"Okay," I whispered. He bent his head and pressed his thick lips against mine, warm and soft; I breathed him in. The sound of thunder filled my ears as his hands slipped down to my waist. His fingers almost touched on my back as his thumbs dug gently into my hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned against him, feeling his body, his heartbeat.

He bent his knees and, wrapping one arm around my waist, ran his other hand into my hair, pressing his forearm along my spine, and lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his narrow waist, hooking my ankles behind his back. I pulled my lips from his, breathing hard, looking down at him now. His smile reminded me that not everything we did was for survival. There was more.

M
erl’s door was ajar when I went to see him the next day and when I knocked it swung open further. "Come in," he called.

I stepped into the once master bedroom turned office and private dojo of Merl. The wood floor was pristine and I slipped out of my shoes, placing them on a mat by the door before continuing in. Michael, Chula, and Lucy lay on their beds by the door, all watching us with friendly expressions. I nodded at Blue who went to greet them. They stood and a good welcome was had by all.

Merl was at his desk in the corner. It faced a blank wall and held a flat screen and keyboard. Thin black-wire-frame glasses perched on his nose, Merl was looking down at his phone. As I approached he looked up and smiled. "Sorry," he said, and put the phone down.

"Did you check out that tree?" I asked.

"Yes, everything is under control."

"Do you think there was someone out there?" I asked.

Merl stood, placing his glasses on the uncluttered desk. "No," he said. "I don't."

"But—"

Merl cut me off. "You'll have to be happy with that answer," he said, his eyes burning. I stopped in the middle of the room, realizing that this wasn't going to be a sit-down conversation. I bent my knees and shifted my weight back. He smiled and walked over to where his weapons hung between the two large windows. Sunlight blared against the tinted glass and was muted by its darkness, making the room glow almost gray. Merl chose a long, narrow shaft from a selection that hung on the wall like pool sticks. He let it settle in his palm, balancing horizontally. "What did you see last night?"

"Lightning," I answered. "And I heard thunder." I didn't mention smelling Robert Maxim. Merl didn't need to know everything about me.

Merl stepped to his left, and I stepped to my right. He closed his fingers around the wood. "How did it affect you?" he asked as he stepped onto the blue exercise mat in the center of the room.

"I'm pretty used to it."

Merl raised his eyebrows and took another step. I mirrored his actions, circling toward the wall of weapons. Now his desk was behind me. Opposite the windows was a wall of mirrors reflecting the scene back to us. Two killers, both balanced and deadly. We continued our circle until I was at the weapons and Merl's back was to the mirror. The dogs watched us from by the door. Their attention riveted, ears forward, tails tapping with suppressed enthusiasm onto the wood floor. A metronome of tail-slaps.

I bypassed the knives and throwing stars, choosing from among the sticks. Mine was longer than Merl's, heavier and harder to control, but a bitch to break and I liked the way the polished wood felt in my hands. Facing Merl I could see myself in the mirror and I knew I didn't look sick. I could see in his face he knew it too. But Merl was testing me now. I didn't know why, but I knew I'd pass. Even if lightning struck, I still had this. I stepped onto the mat.

Merl whipped his thin stick straight at me. I knocked it down easily. That was just a tester, getting our blood going. We circled again. Feet relaxed, knees bent, fingers light. I thrust forward, extending my weapon toward his gut, shooting it straight out from my hip. Merl stepped sideways, twisting out of its path and at the same time slicing his own staff through the air. I heard it like a fly dive-bombing my ear. Ducking, I rolled just in time to avoid a hell of a smack to the head. As I stood back up he smiled at me. Merl was not fucking around, he wanted me to know. This was going to hurt. He expected bruises for both of us.

"I spoke with Lenox this morning," he said, his voice casual.

"You did?" I asked, straining to keep my face still.

"He thinks you’re ready for a mission."

"He does?" I asked, thrown off.

"Lenox is taking over Malina's position on the council."

Merl struck out, my knee gave way as his stick struck it, but I thrust out my staff forcing him back. I hopped back to my feet feeling a twinge in my knee. "You're trying to distract me," I said.

"It's working."

His weapon came out again, taking out that same knee, and then it was under my chin and he was behind me, holding it tight against my throat. I held my own staff in front of me. Both our breathing was steady. I chanced a glance into the mirror and saw myself, Merl standing over me, his arms slightly bent, the muscles in his biceps standing out as he kept them as strong as the wood against my neck. "Give," I said. He removed the stick and stepped back.

I didn't wait for him to prepare—instead I launched myself up, twisting so I fully faced Merl. I used my body to push him back and, bringing my right leg around, tripped him. We fell to the mat together. Merl immediately had me on my back, arm pinned to the point of breaking under me. My face was close to his, Merl's body holding the rest of me down.

He pushed a little harder, almost wrenching the safe word from my lips. But instead I went forward, pressing my mouth against his. He pulled away, his attention focused on my eyes, but not loosening his grip on my arm. "Sydney what are you doing?" he asked, his eyebrows conferencing.

"Kissing you."

He sat up quickly and backed away. I swung my stick around and took out his ankles. He fell, I leapt onto him, straddling him, with my staff against his neck. I looked down at his face, my hair falling around my face shading out the rest of the room. Our eyes locked. "Give," he said.

I rolled away from him and stood. Merl jumped back onto his feet, his face a little red. "Did that distract you?" I asked, smiling.

He nodded and smiled. "Yes," he said, not raising his staff again.

"Are we done?" I asked, lowering my own weapon.

He nodded. "I think you're ready."

"Really? Because last night—"

"I'm sorry about last night," Merl said, turning away from me.

"Me too."

"I shouldn't have yelled," he said as he replaced his staff.

"There is something going on with you," I said, stepping up next to him to replace my own stick. He backed away quickly, moving back toward his desk.

"You're going to be working with Lenox. You'll leave in six days, we can go over details this afternoon. Come to the conference room at 3."

"What's going on with you?" I asked, my hands on my hips.

"What do you mean?" He pulled the band out of his hair and let the long, black, ringlets tumble over his shoulders. When he looked over at me I saw strain around his eyes.

"Whatever that is," I said waving my hand at his face, at the simmering emotion in his eyes, the tension throwing his muscles into sharp relief. "What is going on in your head?"

He turned away from me, facing toward one of the windows and pulled his hair back into a bun, securing it with the band. "It's not you," he said.

"What's not me?"

"It's not your kiss I'm upset about."

"Are you trying to wound my ego?" I joked, putting a hand on my hip. He glanced over at me. "I don't think you're into me Merl, I think there is something really weird going on with you and I want to know what it is."

Merl stepped forward and opened the window. Then he began to climb out. "Hey," I said. But he continued out to the roof. I ran to the window and looked out, he was shimmying along the slanted roof. It was a three story drop. "Only a man would be so afraid of talking about his feelings that he climbs out onto the freaking roof, Merl!" I yelled at him. He kept moving away. So I followed. "If I fall,” I called to him, one foot on the sill, the other on the floor, "I'm going to haunt your ass forever." Then I pulled myself out onto the roof.

"O
nly you would do this," I continued as I followed along the roof's edge.

Merl stopped shimmying away and began to laugh. I caught up with him. We were in the shade of a large tree whose thick branches stretched wide, draped with plants and hanging moss. A group of birds began chattering in its depths at our approach.

"What is going on with you!" I demanded.

"I'm sorry, Sydney. This is so embarrassing." He kept laughing, the gaps between his teeth obvious. He snorted once and then pulled himself together. I laughed at the snort and sat down next to him, my feet facing toward the edge of the roof and a short fall onto a balcony. I grabbed his arm to help settle myself and he flinched.

"What!" I yelled.

"Jesus, Sydney. I feel insane." He caught his breath for a moment.

"I know a little something about feeling insane," I said. He looked over at me and started laughing again. "What!" I said. "What is going on?"

"I'm in love with someone, Sydney," he said, his voice turning serious.

"Aren't we all?" I asked, my voice sounding sadder than the thought in my head.

"Oh yeah," Merl said. "Who are you in love with?"

I shook my head. "Nice try, but you're not gonna scare me off the roof that easy. Tell me, who is this lucky lady?" I asked, smiling, thinking of the idea of Merl in love, how freaking sweet was that.

"You remember I told you about Mo-Ping?”

"The woman who trained you in China, cleaned you up?"

"Saved my life."

"Yes, I remember you telling me about her."

"I've just been thinking about her so much."

"Wait," I said. "The way I remember it is you told me unequivocally you were not in love with her. That you admired her too much for that. That she was above you. No boning about it." Merl looked over at me and the torture in his gaze seemed fathomless. I reached out to him again. "Hey, hey, Merl, you're amazing. Come on." His expression didn't shift. "Sorry I made a boning joke."

He forced a thin smile across his lips. "We've been writing for years," he said. "She stopped responding."

"When?"

"I have not heard from her since Malina's death." A silence fell upon us, the animals suddenly quieting, as if they too missed her.

I pictured Malina smiling and laughing. Two birds began to chatter and cicadas struck up their din again. Returning my mind to the present I asked, "Do you think there is something wrong?"