Authors: Paula Martin
Chapter 27
Kara stared at her mother. She was sure she'd heard wrongly. "Your parents?"
"Margaret and Jon? Those are their names aren’t they?"
"Yes, but—" She shook her head. "I don't understand. You said you didn't want to know anything about her."
"I didn't, but I think I should explain why I wouldn't listen to you." Linda paused and took a deep breath. "I didn't know I was adopted until I was ten. It came as a shock, of course, although at that age I didn't really understand all the implications. I remember asking who my mother was, and they said she lived in Ireland but hadn't been able to look after me. It was only later that I started to wonder more about that. Had she not been able to look after me? Or did she not want me anyway?"
"Didn't you ask Grandma more about her?"
"Only once, when I was eighteen. I asked where I was born and why my mother couldn't look after me. She said I was born at a home for unmarried mothers and then she looked at me, and I'll never forget the hurt expression in her eyes when she said,
If you want to search for her, then of course we'll support you, but I hoped we were enough for you.
After that, I never asked anything more, because yes, they'd brought me up and lavished their love on me.
They
were my parents, not some nameless woman in Ireland and whoever she slept with."
Kara nodded. "I guess I can understand that. Grandma and Granddad had earned your love and loyalty."
"You're right, and that's why I tried to put the whole thing out of my mind, even though there were times when I felt a deep sense of loss, of not knowing who I really was or where I came from."
"That was part of the reason I started this search," Kara admitted. "I wanted to know more about my roots, and my Irish heritage. Of course, I was one step away from the loyalty you felt toward your mom and dad." Her forehead creased. "But once they both died, you still didn't want to know, did you?"
Linda shook her head. "No, because I was scared."
"Scared? Why?"
"Think about it, honey. I've spent most of my life thinking my birth mother rejected me. What if you found her, and it turned out she didn't want to know me? That would be an even bigger rejection, wouldn't it? When you said you'd found her, I still couldn't get past that fear. Not even when your dad told me what had happened and how she was forced to give me up for adoption."
Kara turned to her father. "
You
told Mom? How do you know about what happened to Margaret?"
Alistair hesitated for a moment. "Someone came to see me and told me the whole story, but, as your mom says, even that didn't make any difference, at least not for a couple of days."
She looked back at her mother. "What made you change your mind?"
Linda gave her a shaky smile. "The photo of you with Margaret and Jon. I only glanced briefly at it when your dad first showed it to me, but he left it on the bookcase in the dining room, and when I picked it up and studied it, I – well, I started to cry when I saw Margaret was holding Peter Rabbit."
Kara struggled to understand. "You've seen a photo of me with Margaret and Jon?" She stopped when another astonishing thought penetrated her mind and the fog cleared. "Dad, was it Ryan who came to see you?"
Alistair held up his hands and shook his head. "I promised confidentiality, Kara."
"It must have been him, but I don't understand why he—"
She glanced around as the door opened and Guy looked in. "Kara, would you like to take your mom and dad to the lounge? Two people are very anxious to meet you, Aunt Linda."
Kara stared at him. "Margaret and Jon?" she breathed. "They're here?"
"Arrived less than five minutes ago. This has taken some planning, believe me, but I think we've timed it perfectly."
Linda stood and gave a small smile. "I'm quite nervous now."
Kara gripped her mother's shaking hand. "Don't be. They're a lovely couple, Mom."
She led her along the corridor to the hallway, and opened the wide oak door that led into the lounge.
Margaret and Jon sat stiffly on one of the dark red couches, and turned as Kara went into the room.
"Margaret, Jon, I'm just so happy—" Her voice cracked as tears flooded her eyes. "This is my mom. Your daughter."
Jon stood, and Margaret rose more unsteadily, her blue eyes wide. "Aileen? Linda, I mean?"
Kara gasped as her mother pulled a knitted rabbit from the pocket of her jacket.
"I – I think you made this for me," Linda said.
Margaret's hand went to her mouth, and Jon pressed his arm around his wife. "Oh my, oh my," she whispered. "You still have him. You still have Peter Rabbit."
"I called him Pee, and I wouldn't go to bed without him for many years."
All Kara remembered of the next few minutes was her mom clasped in her parents' embrace, with the three of them weeping and smiling at the same time. Her own sobs shuddered through her, and even more so when her father hugged her.
"You've achieved a miracle, darling," he said. "I never thought I'd ever see this day."
She buried her wet face against his shoulder. "Neither did I."
Eventually, they all wiped their cheeks and blew their noses, and Kara sat on one couch with her father, while Linda sat between her parents, her hands clutching theirs.
Kara shook her head. "I can hardly believe this is really happening."
Jon laughed. "That's how we felt like last Wednesday when Ryan told us your parents were coming to Ireland, and that Linda wanted to meet us."
Kara's eyes widened. "Ryan told you?" She turned to her father. "I was right, wasn't I? It was Ryan who came to see you."
"Let's just say I called him last Monday evening to tell him Linda wanted to meet her birth parents, and again the following day to tell him our flight time."
Jon nodded. "And then Ryan offered to drive us over here from Dublin."
"Ryan brought you here?" Kara struggled to get her mind around everything her father and Jon told her. "Where is he now?"
"I'm not sure," Jon replied. "But he said you wouldn't want to see him because he'd let you down so badly."
Kara winced. "I accused him of – oh, that doesn't matter now. This is so amazing. I need to call him." She started to stand but sank back on the couch. "I don't have his number. He's changed his phone."
Alistair reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, pulled out his wallet, and extracted a card. "Will this help?"
Kara stared at the card. "Is this his number?"
"It's the number I've used to call him this past week."
Her heart thumped against her ribs as she stood. "Will you excuse me for a few minutes?"
She sat on the bench outside the house, and drew in a deep breath. With trembling fingers, she pressed the numbers on her phone and listened to the ring tone.
"Ryan O'Neill," said the familiar voice, and her heart jerked. For a couple of seconds, she was unable to speak.
"Hallo?" he said.
"Ryan, it's Kara, and I—" She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I'm not sure where to start. Except—thank you. Thank you so much. My dad's just told me I achieved a miracle, but the miracle is all due to you. If only you could have seen Margaret and Jon meeting with my mom…" The tears streamed down her cheeks despite her effort to gulp them back. "I wish you were here, Ryan. I've missed you so much."
There was silence, enough silence for her to think he was about to remind her of her anger and accusations.
Instead, he said, "Are you sure?"
Fresh tears stung her eyes, and the sobs shuddered in her chest. "Of course I'm sure."
"Where are you? I can hear seagulls."
"I'm on the bench at the front of the house."
"Wait there. I'll be with you in less than five minutes."
"Five minutes? I thought you'd be half way back to Dub—"
She stopped when she realised Ryan had clicked off his phone. Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, it occurred to her that she probably looked a blotchy mess after all the tears of the past half hour, but there was nothing she could do about that now, not if he would be here in five minutes.
"Okay, compose yourself, Kara," she whispered.
First, she needed to apologise for reacting so angrily, to tell him she understood why he had to maintain the secret of his undercover life, and—
The sight of a silver grey car coming up the drive confused her for a couple of seconds, until she realised he would no longer be driving the blue taxi.
She jumped up and ran across to the car as he pulled up at one side of the forecourt. Her knees seemed to have turned to jelly, but her heart still leapt when he got out. He looked different, somehow, but her nerves were too taut to analyse why.
"Hi," she said awkwardly.
"Hi."
For a couple of seconds, they gazed at each other, and realisation dawned on her. "You've shaved off your beard."
"Yes, I—" As he smiled, his eyes softened. "Oh, come here, darlin'. Let's leave all the explanations for the moment."
He held out his arms, and joy and relief radiated through her as he crushed her to him in a fierce embrace. She slid her arms around his broad back, hugging him tightly and burying her face against his shoulder. When his hold on her loosened, she looked up at him and smiled.
"I'm so happy you're here, Ryan."
In response, he bent forward to kiss her, a long kiss, which deepened from gentle to intense.
Eventually, she broke away with a small laugh, and glanced back at the house. "I'm surprised they're not all at the windows, cheering us on. Maybe we should go inside and join them."
He glanced at his watch. "Actually, I was about to set off for Galway. Will you come with me, and we can talk in the car?"
"Now?"
"Being Sunday, it'll only take a couple of hours there and back."
She frowned. "You're going there and straight back here? Why?"
He grinned. "If you come with me, you'll find out."
"Okay, let me run inside and tell my dad."
"Tell him you'll be away for two hours, but don't say you're going to Galway."
Less than five minutes later, Kara got into the car beside him, and laughed. "I don't even want to think about what's going through my father's mind right now."
He shot her an amused glance as he set off down the drive. "You said you were going somewhere with me, and we'd be back soon?"
"Something like that, yes. Are we really going to Galway, or is this a ploy to check into a hotel in Clifden for two hours? Not that I would object, of course."
He laughed. "Don't tempt me. Anyway, it wouldn't be a hotel, it would be my new apartment. But we're definitely going to Galway."
"Where's your new apartment? In Dublin?"
"No, but I'll tell you about that later. The first thing I want to say is I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my real job."
Kara shook her head. "You don't need to apologise. I'm sorry I said all those awful things to you. Once I calmed down, I understood why you couldn't tell me. I've worked with the police, so I know about undercover operations – and I worked something else out, too."
“What’s that?”
“You weren’t brought up in Dublin, were you?”
He grinned. “No, I grew up in Portumna, which is where my parents and grandparents have always lived. The Dublin background was invented for me by the BCI, but I did live there for three years when I was at Trinity College, and I’ve had an apartment near Dun Laoghaire for the last five years.” He paused and tightened his lips for a moment. "I wanted to tell you the truth, Kara. In fact, I was on the verge of telling you, the day we went to the Cliffs of Moher."
Her eyes widened. "Really? Why didn't you?"
"Remember Sinead? She blew my cover on the last assignment I did in Galway. The Chief gave me a real bollocking about that, and I came very near to being fired, or at least, demoted. I had to promise her I wouldn't let myself be distracted this time."
She nodded. "That's why you said it was the wrong time for you, isn't it? After you kissed me at Lough Derg."
"It was, but even then I knew you were special, and I wanted to see more of you."
She hesitated, but knew she had to ask him. "Did you already suspect the cottage was being used for the stolen goods?"
"Not when I first met you, no."
"That answers one question."
"What question?"
"I did wonder if you only offered to help me with my search because you thought I could be useful."
He winced. "You mean use you? Kara, I tried so hard not to do that, but I admit you did volunteer some helpful information at times."
She grinned. "If you'd told me what you were doing, I could probably have given you even more information."
He was silent for a few moments before he said, "I'm sorry. I should have trusted you."