Is That What People Do? (53 page)

Read Is That What People Do? Online

Authors: Robert Sheckley

My trials and tribulations have brought me to one firm conclusion—namely, that confusion and anxiety will never be eliminated altogether from the process of creative writing. Ideas frequently have to incubate in an author’s subconscious until something clicks into place. Often, at least in my case, this gestation period is allowed to persist too long, which serves as a detriment to the later stages of the
 
work. You can reach a stage where the idea should be hatched, but something is still amiss and you don’t know what it is. It sits there, a soggy dark mass in your mind, a subtle, unpleasantness that will not permit you to continue. What to do then?

There is an extraordinarily direct method that I’ve devised to answer this very problem. A psychologist would probably describe it as a catharsis. A typical session finds me talking to myself aloud, asking and answering questions.

“Well, Bob, what exactly is wrong?”

“The story stinks, that’s what’s wrong.”

“But how, precisely, does it stink?”

“It moves too slowly, for one thing.”

“So how could you speed it up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Of course you know, Bob. Name a way in which you could speed it up.”

“Well, I suppose I could delete the two-thousand word description of a sunset on Mars.”

“Would that solve the problem?”

“No. My characters stink, too.”

“In what way?”

“They just sit around wishing they were somewhere else.”

“What could you do about that?”

“Give them something to do, I guess.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.... Wait. I’ve got it. They can look for an alien civilization!”

This method works well, but it does demand a certain degree of concentration. That’s the only tough part about it. Occasionally, I can’t even get my questions into focus, let alone the answers. At such times, my solo dialogue is apt to go like this:

“Well, Bob, how’s the lad?”

“I’m fine, thanks. How about you?”

“Oh, I’m fine.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yes, it is, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Was there some problem you wanted to discuss with me?

“Problem? Oh, yes, it’s this story.”

“What story?”

“The one I’ve been trying to write for the last three months.”

“Oh,
that
story.”

“Yes.”

“You mean the story with a two-thousand word description of a Martian sunset?”

“That’s the one.”

“Have you got any ideas?”

“About what?”

“About the story, Bob. How can I fix it?”

“Well, you could always expand the description of that sunset…”

And so it goes—you win some and you lose some.

All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

“The Eye of Reality” copyright © 1982 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Omni
, 1982.

“The Language of Love” copyright © 1957 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine, May 1957.

“The Accountant” copyright © 1954 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction
, July 1954.

“A Wind Is Rising” copyright © 1957 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine
, July 1957.

“The Robot Who Looked Like Me” copyright © 1973 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Cosmopolitan
, 1973.

“The Mnemone” copyright © 1971 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
New Worlds
, 1971

“Warm” copyright © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine
, June 1953.

“The Native Problem” copyright © 1956 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine
, December 1956

“Fishing Season” © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First Appeared In
Thrilling Wonder Stories
, August 1953

“Shape” copyright © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine
, November 1953, under the title “Keep Your Shape.”

“Beside Still Waters” copyright © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Amazing Stories
, November 1953.

“Silversmith Wishes” copyright © 1977 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Playboy
, 1977.

“Meanwhile, Back at the Bromide” copyright © 1962 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Playboy
, 1962.

“Fool’s Mate” copyright © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Astounding Science Fiction Magazine
, March 1953.

“Pilgrimage to Earth” copyright © 1956 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Playboy
, September 1956, under the title “Love, Inc.”

“All the Things You Are” copyright © 1956 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine
, July 1956.

“The Store of the Worlds” copyright © 1959 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Playboy
, September 1959, under the title “World of Heart’s Desire.”

“Seventh Victim” copyright © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine
, April 1953.

“Cordle to Onion to Carrot” copyright © 1969 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Playboy
, December 1969.

“Is
That
What People Do?” copyright © 1978 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Anticipations
, 1978.

“The Prize of Peril” copyright © 1959 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction
, May 1958.

“Fear in the Night” copyright © 1956 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Today’s Woman
, 1952.

“Can You Feel Anything When I Do This?” copyright © 1969 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Playboy
, August 1969.

“The Battle” copyright © 1954 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
IF Science Fiction
, September 1954.

“The Monsters” copyright © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction
, March 1953.

“The Petrified World” copyright © 1971 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
IF Science Fiction
, February 1968.

“Five Minutes Early” copyright © 1982 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Twilight Zone Magazine
, 1982.

“Miss Mouse and the Fourth Dimension” copyright © 1981 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Twilight Zone Magazine
, December 1981.

“The Skag Castle” copyright © 1956 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Fantastic Universe
, 1956.

“The Helping Hand” copyright © 1981 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Twilight Zone Magazine
, 1981.

“The Last Days of (Parallel?) Earth” copyright © 1980 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
After the Fall
, an anthology edited by Robert Sheckley.

“The Future Lost” copyright © 1980 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
OMNI
, 1980.

“Wild Talents, Inc.” © 1953 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Fantastic
, October 1953.

“The Swamp” copyright © 1981 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Twilight Zone Magazine
, October 1981.

“The Future of Sex:Speculative Journalism” © 1982. First appeared, in an earlier version, in
Puritan Magazine
, 1982.

“Life of Anybody” copyright © 1984 by Robert Sheckley. Published for the first time in this collection.

“Goodbye Forever to Mr. Pain” copyright © 1979 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Destinies
, January-February 1979.

“The Shaggy Average American Man Story” copyright © 1979 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in
Gallery
, 1979.

“Shootout in the Toy Shop” copyright © 1981 by Robert Sheckley. First appeared in Twilight Zone Magazine, 1981.

“How Pro Writers Write—Or Try To” © 1978 by Robert Sheckley. First Appeared in
Omni
, 1978.

Copyright © 1984 by Robert Sheckley

978-1-4976-4978-1

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