Island Hearts (Jenny's Turn and Stray Lady) (24 page)

It wouldn’t last
.

He was staring at her, waiting for some sign. Why had he come? Oh, God! It was too soon and she was terrified!

Desperate, frightened, she shouted, “Jake, I’m not going to do that film!” Her voice carried loud across the water to him. “I won’t do the Charlottes film – or any film!”

Oh, lord! What was she doing? What was she saying? What if he left, stepped back into the plane and never came back? She whispered, “Jake, don’t go,” but of course he couldn’t hear.

He was shouting back at her, his voice oddly hoarse, but she couldn’t hear for the pounding in her ears.

Jake reached out and caught the rope George must have thrown. Then Luke was with him on the pontoon and Jake, suddenly, was on the deck, coming closer.

She wanted to run flying into his arms. Her hands clenched, her fingernails biting into her palms. His face was hard and lined, his dark, angry eyes glaring at her.

Weakly she said, “You’re supposed to be in Keremeos.”

“Am I?” He stopped. For a scary, wonderful moment, she thought he was going to kiss her. Then his hands were deep in his pockets and he was pacing, prowling as if he were afraid to come near her.

“Jake, I— I’m afraid I can’t—” She fell silent. There was nothing she could say, except that she loved him. She was terrified, not knowing what he really wanted from her – an affair? A one night stand?

He was standing with his legs aggressively apart, but his face was pale and uncertain, his voice husky. “It doesn’t matter, Jenny.”

What
didn’t matter? The film? Her?

He said slowly, emphasizing every word, his voice growing into a shout, “You don’t have to do the film. I don’t give a damn about the film!”

The deck shifted underfoot and Jenny grabbed hold of the lashed mainsail to steady herself.

Her heart was thundering with a sick mixture of hope and fear that she somehow managed to keep out of her voice. “Then why are you here? What is it you want from me— Jake, are you all right? Do you have a cold?”

He choked, “
Have a
— damn it, Jennifer! I—” He swung away, staring briefly at the waiting seaplane, at George standing nearby in the cockpit. Then his eyes were probing hers again. “Jennifer— Jenny, do whatever you want, but—”

His voice broke off, came back in a strangled choke, “Just— please don’t leave me, Jennifer!” He lifted his arm to brush at his eyes where she could see tears glistening. “Anything else— I can take anything else, but… don’t run away from me. If you don’t want to work with me, I can accept that,” he said in a strange, cold voice, then his eyes grew hot and his voice hoarse as he confessed, “but I can’t take it if you walk away from me again! When you walked out on me, Jenny, my whole world fell apart.”

She could see it in his face, the pain and the loss, the need he’d never let her see before. Not only sexual need, but more, deeper than words could go.

“Jake,” she whispered; she had to understand, “Why did you say you were going to marry Monica?”

“Damn Monica!” His hands jerked out of his pockets, spread in a helpless gesture. “I— hell! You asked, and I had this insane, irrational thought that you’d care. I was— I was hoping to get a reaction out of you! Jenny. If I marry anybody—”

“A reaction,” she repeated. He’d gotten a reaction, he’d sent her world upside down and Jenny herself running.

“Jenny,” he pleaded, touching her with a hesitant hand. “Did you care at all?”

She opened her mouth on a denial, but the need and pain in his face was confusing her. She found herself confessing, “I couldn’t stay and watch you with her. I kept telling myself that your women didn’t matter, that they were just a meaningless series – I told myself I didn’t want to be one of them, but I—“

She started to tell him she couldn’t stand thinking about the day when he would leave her, but the tears welled up. She gulped and Jake grabbed her shoulders, hard, groaning, “Jennifer, you’re the only one who’s ever gotten under my skin. Ever since you came, I’ve wanted you. I didn’t know how badly you’d gotten to me until you tried to walk away, but I knew you’d messed me up for any other woman.” His hands traced her face, stroking the tension from her as he confessed hoarsely, “I kept trying, because you didn’t seem to want me and—
damn it
, Jenny! Most of the time I couldn’t even – er – perform when it came down to it! Monica!” He made an angry, frustrated noise that couldn’t have been a laugh. “You thought we were lovers, but we weren’t – how the bloody hell could I make love to a woman with your face in my mind all the time? Will you please stop staring at me and
say
something!”

She wasn’t sure she could talk. Her knees were shaking, her throat dry. “What do you want me to say?”

He gave an exasperated, half-angry laugh. “I’ve been flying around for the last two days, searching for you and this damned boat.”

He loved her. He hadn’t actually said so, but his face and his eyes told her. She had to tell him it was all right, but the words were so difficult to say. “What brought you back?” she asked instead.

“I was up in the mountains with Chris, but— I got scared! Damn, ever since— I spend my life terrified you’ll disappear, that I’ll mess it up and lose you! That night, together on this boat, I thought— I knew you weren’t ready for me to tell you I loved you – I was terrified that you’d wake up sorry. Jennifer, I’m not used to this – being in love, feeling so damned scared, terrified you’ll tell me to go to hell! Except sometimes – maybe I’m crazy, but sometimes I think you love me, too – if you’d only admit it. I— will you at least say you’re glad to see me?”

Her throat was filled with a large lump. Her heart was pounding hard, making her ears ring. His whole body was filled with tension, the pallor of his face a pale shadow of the Jake she knew.

“Jenny, for God’s sake don’t go silent and mysterious on me again! The night I made love to you, I kept hoping there would be a child.” He groaned out a confession, “God help me, I don’t know which I wanted most, your child – or the knowledge that a child might keep you with me. I can’t— Tell me what you’re thinking!”

“I’m glad to see you,” she whispered, “and I wanted there to be a baby, too.” Then she got her arms moving, wrapped tightly around his neck, her face buried in the soft mohair of his sweater.

“Will you please look at me?” he growled.

She could feel him trembling under her touch. She tipped her head back and met his eyes, trying to take in his need, his fears. “I’m scared,” she whispered, then opened her lips for his deep, searing kiss.

It seemed an eternity before he whispered back, “I’ve been scared ever since you walked into my studio five years ago. I kept trying to tell myself it was only sex, but I knew damned well— I went through such a string of women, trying to tell myself I couldn’t possibly be hopelessly in love with a woman who wouldn’t even let me take her to dinner!”

“I kept wishing I could dare to say yes when you asked me out,” she admitted tremulously, “but I was too much of a coward.”

He growled, “And I had no idea. We’ve lost so much time! Darling, when you went away— I knew I had to get you back somehow. I didn’t admit to myself that I loved you until I was rushing you to hospital after that damned Red Tide! Then I thought I was losing you and it damned near killed me!”

She put her hands on his chest, feeling his muscles quiver as her fingers moved. “Jake, about the film—”

He grasped her hands, slipped them around his waist and caught her close to him. He kissed her lips lightly, his voice deep and low. “Darling, do whatever you have to do. I want you working with me. You know that. But please, Jennifer, please don’t leave me. The rest doesn’t matter.” His voice trembled to a whisper. “When you go away, there’s no light left, no joy. I need you, darling. I love you so much!”

“I love you,” she whispered back. “I’ve always loved you.”

Luke called from the seaplane, “Jake?”

“What does he want?” Jenny asked, but Jake’s lips covered hers and for long seconds there was nothing but the feel of his arms around her, the spinning ecstasy of his mouth taking hers.

Slowly, when he stopped kissing her, she realized that the roaring in her ears was not only from Jake’s nearness.

“He’s going?”

“Yes. And George.”

“George? But how— how could she—”

“She’s leaving us alone, darling. She’ll meet us in a few days, on Vancouver Island.”

She stiffened, remembering all George’s trips into Queen Charlotte before they left. “When did you set this up?”

His hands traveled down the length of her back, cupped her buttocks as he drew her close in a contact that had them both gasping as he asked, “Do you mind?”

“No,” she breathed, twisting her fingers into his hair and pulling his mouth down to hers. “But tell me.”

His tongue traced the outline of her lips, his eyelids drooping with desire as he watched her reaction to his touch. “You taste wonderful,” he groaned.

“George?” she asked, her fingers caressing his neck, slipping down to fumble with his shirt buttons under the sweater.

“She called me,” he gasped. “If you touch me like that, you’ll never get the story!”

“What’s the matter?” she whispered, her fingers pushing his shirt aside, returning to explore the muscular curves of his chest. “Can’t take it?” she taunted.

“I can take it,” he groaned, finding the edge of her sweater and running his hands up in a light caress that found every sensitive spot on her back, then around, along her rib cage, to the swellings of her breasts. Her fingers stilled when he found her nipples.

When she sagged, he grabbed her close with one strong arm, supporting her against him. “Can’t take it?” he asked softly, finally getting the sweater out of his way and lowering his lips to where his fingers had been. “Jenny,” he groaned, his lips closing over her breast, “I’ve needed you so badly.”

He straightened, trembling, drawing her against him. “God, Jenny, I’m like a teenager! I can’t wait. George— George called and said you were setting sail from Queen Charlotte, that she was going to keep you on the islands for as long as she could before you crossed to the mainland – I—” He gripped her tightly, covering her face with kisses again as he explained gruffly, “She gave a list of anchorages you might be found in – and… I came as soon as I could. Do you know Sandspit airport has been fogged in for two days?”

She shook her head, touching his face, marveling at the way the lines were smoothed, at the love that she saw shining from his eyes.

“Do you think we made a baby, Jake?”

“You—” He swallowed. “Aren’t you— aren’t you on the pill or something?”

She shook her head, admitted, “There hasn’t been anyone I’ve wanted to— there wasn’t any reason to take the pill.”

His hands trembled as they dropped down to her shoulders, drew her close and caressed down the length of her back. “Oh, God, Jenny! I thought— with Wayne, and all those men you dated – I went through agonies, imagining you and—”

She stopped his words with her lips. “Jake, I love you,” she told him, her hands touching his face, her voice growing strong with confidence as she saw how much he wanted to hear those words again. Her hands explored his back, feeling the strong knot of muscles under her fingers.

He cupped her face with his hands and bent to brush a light kiss on her lips. Her arms tightened, drawing him closer as he pressed the long length of his body against hers, invading her softness, making her gasp, then groan before he lifted his head, looked around and said softly, “We’re alone – staying nicely in the middle of the channel.”

She laughed softly, “I should hope we’re alone. You’ve just stripped half my clothes off!”

“I’ve been waiting a long time,” he explained. “You have to make allowances. I called Luke and booked his plane – and him as pilot. I told him I’d appreciate it if he flew me on this charter himself. That I might be making a fool of myself, and I’d rather do it in front of him than some stranger. He said he had a note waiting for me, from George.”

“What did the note say?”

He didn’t answer for a long moment. He was too busy kissing and touching his love. “She told me not to come unless I was really in love with you.”

He had come. She pressed her cheek against his chest, felt the thunder of his heart, the rumble of his voice saying, “When we landed, Luke told me this was a good place for love – he fell in love with Laurie on that island over there. You are going to marry me, aren’t you, Jennifer?”

He closed his eyes briefly, opened them again and stated, “If you say no, I’m afraid I’m going to keep after you until you change your mind. I know I said you could do whatever you had to if it didn’t mean you left me, but— it’s got to be marriage, Jenny.” His hands slipped down along her sides. He watched her eyes widen and her lips part as he moved slowly closer. His own breath was rough as he said, “If you’re not ready, I think there’s a chance I could change your mind – given time.”

“How?” she managed to ask on a gasp.

He was starting to smile again now, his eyes gleaming. “Are you going to marry me? If you say no, would it help if I held out on you, wouldn’t kiss you until— Oh, lord, Jenny, I can’t even joke about that! You are going to marry me, aren’t you? You’ve got to!”

“Of course I am – though I shouldn’t. You’re doing it again, you know. Steamrollering me. Only this time, you’ve got George in on it.”

She could feel the laughter bubbling up, and the tears. He had been hers, in her heart, for so long. Now she could love him openly. To live with him and work with him and love him. She was frightened by her own vulnerability, but she wasn’t going to let it stop her from loving Jake. Even one day with him was worth any of the lonely times that might follow.

“Marry me,” he growled, bending over her with a light in his eyes that made her shiver deliciously. “Marry me first, then we can fight it out. I’ve never felt like this about anyone, Jenny.”

“You want me to marry you right away?” She smoothed her palms over his muscular chest, whispered, “Isn’t there anything you’d like to do first? After all, we’re days away from a wedding license.”