“I'm up, I'm up. Man, you're being harsh.” I pulled away from him with exaggerated annoyance. “How, exactly, will swimming help me? Unless you plan on holding my head under and putting me out of my misery. Which isn't a bad idea, actually.”
“Annelise.” His voice was stern, and it made me look at him. “Getyour other boot on,” he said more gently. “I have some ideas.”
Â
Apparently his ideas involved me treading water in a freezing cove while holding my hands over my head.
“I thought you said this would help me be a better fighter.” I sank below the surface of the water and scissor-kicked back up. Coughing, I wiped my face against my arm. Though I'd become a decent swimmer, I still couldn't stand the feel of water on my face.
Ronan stood in waist-high water not too far from me. He could've stayed on the beachâI don't know why he didn'tâbut I appreciated the gesture of support nonetheless. “You need to build core strength.” He nodded at my arms. “Arm strength will help with your throwing stars.”
“Not if I'm too sore to lift them. You're killing me.” My shoulders burned. My neck ached. “I can barely hit the target anyway. What good will strong arms do me?”
“You are capable of hitting the target. You simply need to learn how to keep a consistently calm mind.”
“I'm drowning in here. Spare me the Zen crap.” Gradually, my elbows slipped closer to the surface. Water splashed in my face, and I spat it out. “Seriously, Ronan. Can I be done now?”
He turned his back on me, diving away. I didn't get why anyone would
choose
to swim in this water. His head bobbed back up, and he slicked the hair from his chiseled face. I imagined it was what he might look like emerging from a hot tub.
I scowled even harder.
“You're done,” he shouted, kicking away from me on his back. “Get out. Go run. I want five laps along the beach.”
I was cranky and sandy and totally beat by the time Ronan and I walked back to where he'd parked. But I'd had a lot of time to think. “So, if I win, I get to go off-island with Master Alcántara.”
Ronan opened the van's rear doors. “Yes.”
Snagging a towel, I scrubbed my face hard, erasing the memory of water splashing into my eyes and up my nose. “What's his deal, anyway?”
“Master Alcántara?” he asked, incredulous. “His
deal
?”
My mind went back to that night. The vampire's strange words; the even stranger feel of his touch on my face. “Yeah, by the stonesâ” I stopped myself.
Ronan stared hard. “By the stones,
what
?”
I bent to pull off my swim booties, hoping he didn't notice how my face was flushing. I improvised to cover up the blunder. “By the stones . . . on that first day . . . I'd wondered what other islands there are around here.”
I stood up, tossing my booties in the back of the van. Ronan was looking at me skeptically.
I shrugged. “I just think it'd be cool to travel off the island with someone like him. Did you know he met Descartes?”
He slung his towel over his shoulder, then crossed his arms over his chest. It made his upper body look even more cut than usual. “Beware Hugo De Rosas Alcántara.”
“Are you saying I should bow out of the challenge?”
“I'm saying no such thing. The girls who don't enter the competition are fools who won't survive the year.” He stared hard at me, weighing his words. When he spoke again, it was slower, gentler. “Don't for a moment think the choices you make aren't a part of your trials on this island. You
must
participate in the challenge. But you must also maintain distance, Annelise. Alcántara is Vampire, centuries old and lacking in the human mores to which you're accustomed. Imagine yourself a professional. Because that's precisely what you aspire to be. Not a special pet or project or plaything for Master Alcántara. Don't let him lay claim to you.”
His mini speech stunned me. “But he's one of them. One of the main vampire dudes, right? I can't just
stay away
from him.”
“No, you cannot.” Ronan reached behind his back to undo the Velcro on the neck of his wet suit. I kept my eyes strictly above chin level. “But you can keep a polite distance. Speak when you're spoken to. Don't stare him in the eye.” He paused to glare at me. “As you seem to feel free to do with me.”
I laughed, taken aback, and Ronan gave me a grudging smile. “I'm serious, Annelise. This is life or death.”
I wasn't ready to die. Which meant I had to be ready to kill. I suspected the Directorate challenge wasn't so much about competing with the other girls as it was about eliminating them.
Ronan reached around his back, and with a tug on the long toggle attached to his zipper, he began to peel the wet suit from his arms. It revealed his tattoo, stark on his pale, chilled skin.
Le seul paradis c'est le paradis perdu.
The sight of it, its possible meaning, held me transfixed. “What is it you've lost?” I asked quietly.
We stared at each other a moment. “Turn around, Annelise. A little privacy, please.” He didn't sound angry, just tired.
I walked around to the front of the van, peeling off my own wet suit and pulling my sweats over the damp Speedo I'd worn underneath. I clambered into the front seat.
Ronan slammed the rear doors shut, then walked around and climbed in. He put the key in the ignition, but just sat there, staring at the steering wheel.
Finally, he said, “There are many things I've lost. Many people. Perhaps you'll one day discover life here is not what it seems.”
I studied his profile, desperate to understand his meaning. “Then why do you stay?”
“It is where I belong.”
His reply had been simple, but it was no answer. Something held him on the island. Something more than just habit or home. I could see it in his eyes, green and sad. But clearly he wasn't going to tell me.
I changed tack. I felt a connection with RonanâI always had, despite his powers of persuasion that'd gotten me into this mess. “Why do you do this? It's more than just someone asking you to look out for me. Why have you been kind to me?”
He glanced at me. He looked so bleak in that moment, I wished I could touch him. Just a simple hand on his shoulder.
“I told you once before. You remind me of someone,” he said. “A girl who'd been smart, like you.”
I
had
been right. We
did
have a connection. But who did I remind him of? An old lover? High school sweetheart? Electricity pulsed through me, but I managed to keep my voice calm. “Who?”
“Acari Charlotte.” He leaned back to stare out the windshield, his hands extended in front of him, resting on the wheel. “My sister.”
My heart fell. Not a lover. I reminded him of his
sister
. I supposed it beat football teammate or pub buddy. But still. The sentiment was lovely. Heartwarming. Nauseating.
“She trained to be a Watcher. She didn't last a month.”
I swallowed hard, keeping my cool. “Your sister?”
“She was a lot like you. Defiant. Misunderstood.” He looked at me, and the desolation in his eyes made me forget myself for a moment. “She tried hard, but there was something in her that was too . . . gentle. These girls, they scent weakness. Charlotte never had a chance.”
I glanced down, unable to hold his gaze. My heart broke for him.
But embarrassment skewered me, too, making me feel ashamed. Ronan had lost his sister, and yet I couldn't get away from my own selfish disappointment. I'd thought he was going to tell me something else. I'd thought he'd felt a different kind of connection with me.
I felt him reach for me, his movement tentative. He traced a single finger along the line of my face. His touch was warm, and it made my throat clench. My body tingled, but it wasn't because of any supernatural powers. It was because this was
Ronan
, and he was touching me.
I dared a glance, and his hand cupped my cheek as I turned to him. The eerie twilight made his hair appear darker, his eyes deeper.
“But Charlotte wasn't nearly so beautiful as you.”
The air whooshed from my lungs. My body prickled to life, heat spreading through me. Ronan had called me beautiful.
He sighed and pulled away from me. “You are lovely, Annelise. And you are strong. I believe you can win this. But you must believe it, too.”
I gave him a tight nod. Ronan wasn't a vampire. Not a monster, not a Draug, not an undead creature of the night. He was a guy, and he thought I was beautiful.
Granted, he had some crazy powers that made him more than your average person. But he'd believed in me when nobody else had. Even if he had used his supernatural mojo to get me here, it was because he had faith in me. Believed I could do it. Part of me suspected that maybe he even thought I'd realize some sort of potential here.
You are lovely, Annelise. And you are strong.
He put a finger beneath my chin, tilting my face up. “Are you ready?”
I knew he spoke of the fight. But in my fantasy, he meant more.
“Yes,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. I was discovering uncharted territory, and I'd survive to see it to the end.
It wasn't until we'd driven almost all the way back to the dorm that I found myself once more capable of speech. Our conversation had felt special. That feeling hung between us, and it gave me courage.
I couldn't allow what'd just happened to let me forget what this was all about. That this, more than ever, was life or death. Ronan was serious about me winning, and it'd bolstered me. Made me serious, too. “So, fire is Lilac's special gift?”
Ronan stared straight ahead. “Fire is her
skill
,” he said in a flat voice. “Lilac has a different gift.”
I sat forward. I'd just assumed her thing was being some kind of pyromaniac. If she had a different talent, I had to know. “What is it?”
He hesitated. “I shouldn't tell you.”
“I know, I know,” I said impatiently. “But now you have to tell me.”
“Truly, Annelise.” He caught my eye, his face like stone. “Disclosing confidential information is a breach of
Eyja
law. They'd think nothing of slaughtering me for it.”
“I understand.” My heart was a heavy weight in my chest. What hideous thing was he concealing from me? “Please, Ronan. You have to tell me. What's her gift?”
His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Pain.”
“She knows how to give it?”
He shook his head. “She doesn't feel it.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
I
never thought I'd be jealous of von Slutling, but by the third day of the challenge, I'd have given anything not to feel pain. I'd never ached so badly in my life. Not even in my first weeks of training.
At least this was itâthe final day. And thank God, because I couldn't keep up this level of fighting, even with the blood to sustain me.
Naturally, they hadn't considered holding the fights in someplace as mundane as the gym. Instead, we girls were duking it out at the standing stones, atop the massive, flat center slab.
Matches happened throughout the day, with each winner advancing to fight the next. And Vampire, Initiate, Acari, Tracer, Traineeâ
everyoneâ
had gathered on the lawn in front of the stones to watch.
Everyone was waiting for the semifinal fights to begin. For
my
fight to begin.
I reached my arms in front of me, trying to loosen my stiff back. I was so tight, I thought the muscles might snap. A deep unease had me clenched and agitated. “Those vamps . . . they've got a sense of drama. I'll give them that.”
“What?” Emma touched her ear to let me know that she hadn't heard me over the buzz of the audience.
I shook my head. “Never mind.”
Yasuo was with us, and it was reassuring to feel a tall, strong guy standing by my side. He gingerly poked at my right ear. “Jeez, little D. How'd you manage to bruise your
earlobe
?”
I flinched away from his touch. Getting pinned on a mat in the gym was one thing. But being pummeled into a gargantuan granite plinth was a whole other story. Just the thought of facing it again tightened my chest. “It's that stupid rock.”
Emma leaned close. “You're almost on.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” I tried to muster a sarcastic smile, but feared I'd missed the mark.
“She beat the hell out of those first two girls,” Yasuo said, looking into the distance.
I followed his line of sight and found Lilac. She was sashaying through the crowd, a bevy of bright-skinned acolytes trailing her like the wake of a luxury yacht.