Authors: Marlo Thomas
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Don’t Ask Why I Didn’t Leave Him
Jane Alderman Zeitz and Liz Alderman
Kara Gorski and Kristin Gembala
Susan Walvius and Michelle Marciniak
For the women in my family—Terre, Dionne, Tracy, Kristina, Kate, Gaby, Annie, Tracey, Mary Rose, Reed, Kenzie—and the women in your families, who have the spirit and the courage to embrace change
W
hen I sat down to begin work on this book, I was excited and energized. There’s nothing I love—and need—more than the reassurance that we can all dream and start over again. The process of gathering hundreds of personal stories, picking the best of the best, nurturing them, and then weaving them into a meaningful whole is both rigorous and delicate. And I knew it would take a good team.
So I am ever grateful to all those who lent their time and talent to the creation of this collection.
As always, my heartfelt thanks go out to the smart and savvy gang at Atria Books—led by Judith Curr and Greer Hendricks—who always provide a warm and safe home for me, embracing my ideas and giving me the freedom to explore them.
I’d like to thank my attorney and friend (and not in that order) Bob Levine, for his wise counsel and unerring compass throughout the creative process, and for his buoyant spirit, which always drives me forward.
I can’t say enough wonderful things about the gifted and dedicated writers who helped bring life to the 60 compelling stories you’ll read in these pages: Julie Besonen, Jeryl Brunner, Danielle Gasbarro, Katie Hafner, Roseann Henry, Dana Hudepohl, Jamie Malanowski, Jennifer Rainey Marquez, Kate Meyers, Hollace Schmidt, and Nicole Zeman. Also, thanks to Lori Weiss, who helps us tell the “It Ain’t Over” stories on
MarloThomas.com
.
Thanks, too, to my tireless assistant, Amy Novak, for keeping the rest of my life humming smoothly as I buried myself in manuscripts, edits, and rewrites; and to my colleague and pal Dan Sallick, for his ample bounty of killer ideas (and even ampler bounty of friendship and support).
I am deeply indebted to the five dozen women who generously shared their lives with us, in our efforts to tell the larger story of reinvention. Their amazing journeys are the true spirit of this book, and I admire all of them for their determination, their vision, and their courage. I am likewise thankful to those women whose stories ultimately did not make it into these pages, but whose remarkable accomplishments are no less inspiring.
And, of course, to my two comrades in the trenches, Alison Gwinn and Bruce Kluger, who worked with me for 14 months, bringing the kind of creative energy, professionalism, and love of laughter that make working on any project a true joy.
Finally, to my husband, Phillip, with whom it ain’t—and won’t ever be—over.
“N
ever face the facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” That’s one of my favorite sayings, and I truly believe it. The facts—polls, statistics, conventional wisdoms—can keep anyone from ever starting anything. Better to create your own facts.
I meet so many women as I travel the country. And wherever I go, I listen to them talk about the dreams they left behind; or the ones they tried to achieve that went nowhere; or the ones they never even attempted. And more often than not, I hear the deep yearning in their voices as they talk about their search for a way to rekindle those dreams.
And their fear is always the same:
It’s too late, isn’t it?
Well, now that I’ve lived a little, I know this to be true: It’s never too late. It ain’t over till it’s over.
These women inspired me to launch my own website on AOL and the Huffington Post in 2010. I wanted to create a destination where women could
gather together, tell their stories, share their passions, and encourage one another to create a new dream—or to go back and pick up an old one.
After a few months online, I began to notice a common theme among the women who were sharing their stories: They were stuck. Some were stuck in dead-end jobs that made them feel lifeless inside. Others were new empty nesters—confronted, practically overnight, with a big, quiet house and a bigger, quieter future. Still others had experienced a life crisis—a divorce, a layoff, the death of a loved one—and had fallen into a stultifying funk.
Most were aware that they were at a crucial crossroads, but they had no idea which way to turn.
Some, however, had a positive response to this defining moment in their lives. To them, the giant wall that had sprung up in their path was not a barrier, but something to leap over.
I was eager to shine a spotlight on these courageous women, so I created a weekly Web series called “It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over” in the hope that others who were similarly adrift would take inspiration from what these women had achieved.
And they did. “It Ain’t Over” became an instant hit with readers, garnering millions of clicks every week. We had touched a nerve. And that nerve feels like the beginning of a new generation—the Reinvention Generation—populated by those who are not daunted by what they haven’t done, but, instead, are empowered by the idea that they can go for it now. They’ve discovered that it’s never too late to step up to the plate. And if life throws you a curveball, try to knock it out of the park.
As much as I love the Web—its bustle, its ever-changing face—I wanted to chronicle this remarkable reinvention phenomenon as a book. That way, women could always have it handy—in their purses, on their night tables, propped up on the handlebars of their Lifecycles—and draw encouragement
from it. And rather than revisit the women featured on my website, I wanted to comb the nation, interview women, speak with their families and friends, and bring back their stories.
And that’s what you hold in your hands now—60 inspiring stories. Some of them feature women who built entire empires out of a single idea—like Veronica Bosgraaf of Holland, Michigan, who wanted to create healthier school lunches for her children, so she whipped up a recipe in her kitchen and called it the Pure Bar. Not only did her kids love it,
everybody
loved it; and today it is sold in stores across the country, earning Veronica millions.
You’ll also meet women who found new ways to fulfill themselves after experiencing profound personal loss—like Jane Alderman of Washington, D.C., whose brother perished in the World Trade Center on 9/11. Devastated by his death, Jane chose to rechannel her grief into something meaningful, quitting her desk job, earning her MBA, and—with her parents—launching a global foundation to care for other victims of trauma.