It Had To Be You (8 page)

Amidst the violent coughing, he wondered if
should try to find his way out.

Don’t forget, Beck, this isn’t the army. You
have to protect yourself first or you won’t be any good to anybody.
If it’s between you and victim, choose yourself.

The hell with that. He didn’t leave men
behind. He came upon a rounded lump and began digging down into the
mass. He closed his eyes to keep the smoke out and went by feel. He
found an arm. It could very well belong to one of his crew. He dug
like a beaver until he had the body uncovered. There was still a
mask on him.

Share your air with your buddy or your
victim.

Still not knowing who this was, he took the
nozzle off and gulped in some air. There, now he could breathe.
Settling it on the face of the downed firefighter again, Beck
stood. Bending over, he secured the person under the arms and began
to drag him. It wasn’t a woman. The body was too heavy. Son of a
fucking bitch, he thought as he backed up blindly; he had no idea
which way was out.

o0o

Lela drank so much coffee she knew she’d
never sleep. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t leaving Badges, leaving
these people alone with their terror, until news came of who was
hurt and who wasn’t. She forced herself to believe they’d all get
out, just as she’d been determined to save every man who’d come to
the makeshift hospital on the outpost, though she’d known it wasn’t
possible. Was this?

Again, images of Beck as he’d talked about
his son came to her. Would that boy grow up without a father? Had
Beck survived tours of the Middle East and Asia for years only to
be felled by some stupid warehouse fire?

From the televised scene, a horn blasted the
air. An over-voice narrated. “That’s the evacuation call for the
firefighters to leave the buildings. Still no word on injuries or
casualties.”

Immediately, three phones rang. She noticed
Garth White, who’d flirted with her earlier, and who’d sat away
from the group and stared morbidly at the TV, get up and stride to
Ryan O’Malley. They all answered in unison.

“
Hello.”

“
O’Malley here.”

“
This is Sophia.”

“
Sydney?”

Everybody else in the room held their
collective breath.

“
Hallelujah!” This from Ryan who jumped
up from where he’d finally taken a seat. “My brother and my darling
wife are okay.”

Rachel yelled, “Gabe got buried under
plaster. Beck pulled him to safety.”

Lela blurted out, “Beck’s okay?”

“
Yeah,” Rachel said, her eyes shining.
“They all have a bad case of smoke inhalation, but they’re gonna be
fine.”

Lela turned to Sophia. Her friend was quietly
crying. Lela grasped her hand. “Soph? Is it Tony?”

“
H-He’s safe. I’m just
relieved.”

“
They want us to wait here,” Rachel
said. They’re going to swing by on their way to the hospital.
Against orders.”

Max and Ryan sprawled out in chairs, their
bodies drained from hours of tension. “How do we do it?” Max
asked.

“
We have to,” Ryan retorted.

Not Lela, though. She didn’t have to keep
this kind of vigil ever again. Nor did she want to. The immediacy
of the rescue, the closeness of the scene was so much different
than having a husband in war thousands of miles away, Lela was
shaken by it.

She waited until the room settled down, then
stood. “I’m going home, Sophia. You’ll be fine now that Tony’s on
his way.”

“
Oh, don’t you want to wait and see
them?”

“
No. This is an intimate gathering. I
don’t belong here. I’ll see you later.” Without saying good-bye to
the others, she slipped out of the room. Noticing a side-door
entrance to Badges, she swung it open, awash with conflicting
emotions and needing to flee. There would be joy and celebration,
she knew, but she couldn’t be part of it. For one simple
reason.

She’d worried too much about Beckett Sloan
tonight.

As soon as she stepped out the door, the cool
night air calmed her. Until she saw the big, red truck, blaring its
horn, screech to a halt about twenty feet away from her.

She was caught.

o0o

Moving slowly, four firefighters from the
Rescue Squad dismounted the rig and traipsed into Badges. Beck
stayed behind for a shitload of reasons. He jumped off the far side
of the truck and circled around the back, dropped down on the
fender and wished like hell for a cigarette. He knew firefighters
smoked, and he’d inhaled his share of that or chewed tobacco in
theater, but he didn’t need another bad habit. Instead, he sucked
down some water. His throat still burned, and his eyes stung, but
he was really happy for the first time, in…he couldn’t remember
when. They’d all gotten out alive—and he’d been an integral part of
the rescue.

Taking his cell from his pants—they’d removed
their smelly turnout gear—he punched in the familiar numbers. First
he tried Patty, but she didn’t answer so he left a message that he
was safe. The next call was answered on the first ring. “Beck?”

“
I’m all right. I thought maybe you’d
be asleep and I could leave you a message. Did you see the
coverage?” Beck hoped not. His brother had worried enough when Beck
was overseas.

“
Of course I’m not asleep. Was it you?
Were you buried?”

“
We got some plaster on us. But, Linc,
I saved somebody.”

“
Wait a sec on that. So you’re not
hurt?”

“
No, but we gotta go get checked out at
the hospital.”

“
I’ll meet you there.”

“
You will not. I just wanted you to
know I’m safe.”

An audible sigh on the other end. “Okay. Tell
me about the heroics now.”

“
I dragged my captain out.”

He told his brother the story. When Gabe had
regained consciousness outside the building, he was remarkably
unhurt. And he’d been the only one buried. The others had been
knocked out temporarily, which was why they were
supposed
to
go directly to the hospital, but this little detour had to take
place first.

“
No, shit,” Linc commented, amused.
“They stopped to see their women?”

“
Yeah. And their men. We got two female
firefighters on our crew.”

Once again, Beck was jealous as hell. He had
no one waiting for him. And if he could have his choice of who to
hug him, who to say
Thank God, you’re okay
, he knew who it
would be.

“
Look, I gotta hang up. Go to
bed.”

“
I will. But you come over tomorrow for
dinner.”

“
All right.” Linc had done this before,
needed his brother’s presence to assure himself Beck was all
right.

Finally they disconnected. But Beck couldn’t
get rid of the images of Lela as easy as he got rid of Linc. The
memory of her dancing in his arms came to him, and he could
practically feel her curves against his body, smell the flowery
scent of all that hair. She’d have gone home by now. Didn’t matter
anyway! He had no business thinking of her that way. She was
divorcing a PTSD sufferer, and Beck would never inflict himself on
anybody who’d gone through what she had. So he was confused by the
intensity of these feelings.

Maybe they’d just spent time together in a
highly emotional setting—like brothers banding in war.

Yeah, sure, Sloan, this is anything but
sibling-like.
Maybe he’d talk to Linc about it.

“
Beck?”

Christ Jesus, he’d conjured her. But no, she
was at the edge of the truck, standing there in that touch-me green
dress, haloed by the light from the lampposts. He said, “Hey, what
are you still doing here?” Hopefully, she’d think the rawness in
his voice was from the smoke he’d inhaled.

She moved closer. “What are
you
doing
out here?”

“
Didn’t want to see all those saps
getting TLC from their significant others.” He rolled his eyes.
“It’s embarrassing.”

“
I think it’s nice.” She came to stand
close, in front of him. He wished she hadn’t. Her eyes were wide
and liquid, and the expression in them was so totally wrong for
them both.

He shrugged. “So do I, really.”

She watched him for a moment. “Stand up,
Beck.”

“
Excuse me?”

“
I said stand up, soldier.”

“
Yes, ma’am.” He rose, curious to see
what she’d do.

Reaching up, she stood on her tiptoes and
encircled his neck with her arms. It took only a second before he
moved in and drew her to him. Every single curve, ever single
indentation of this lovely woman melded into him, even more than on
the dance floor. She sighed and buried her face in his chest. He
pulled her even closer. For a few precious moments, she stayed
there.

When she stepped back a bit so she could look
at him—but not leave the embrace—she whispered, “I think you
deserve some TLC, too.”

“
That’s all this is, Lee?”

She stared into his eyes for a long time. Her
face was shadowed by the night. “No, Beck, it’s not. Which is why I
shouldn’t have done it.”

The air was charged with her admission. “Why
did you?”

“
Because I wanted to, very
badly.”

“
Lela, I—”

Her hand went to his lips to stop the
dangerous admission. Her fingertips were soft and feminine. “No,
don’t say anything. Don’t voice this, don’t make it real. We both
know it can’t go anywhere.”

He knew what she meant, and though it was a
like a knife in the gut, he nodded.

“
Just hold me for a minute.”

When she went back into his arms, he held her
next to his heart, which soon began to beat in unison with hers. If
this was all he was going to have of her, he vowed to cherish
it.

o0o

The video game was giving Len a headache.
Josh was enjoying it, though, so he kept at it as long as he could.
Why the fuck did they make these things so loud? Of course, he let
his kid win. Besides, his hands were shaking, and the screen went
blurry sometimes.

When this game ended, Josh glanced over at
him. “Dad, you okay?”

“
Yeah, sure, why?”

“
You seem funny.”

“
Nah. Wanna play again?”

“
No.”

Hell, what did the kid expect of him?

“
You two okay in here?” His mother, the
sainted Martha, poked her head in. She was a good woman and he
wished he wasn’t so mad at her and his father all the time because
Lela said that they had to watch him with his kid.

“
Yeah, Grandma.”

When Len didn’t answer, she stepped into the
room. Walked over to them. “Son, you all right?”

“
Goddamn it, Ma.”

Martha straightened. “Josh, want to go make
cookies?”

“
Is that okay, Dad?”

“
Sure. I’m gonna lay down
some.”

His mother reached out and touched his hair.
He yanked his head away. “I’m outta here,” he snapped, stood and
made his way upstairs by holding on to the railing. When he reached
his room, he fell into bed. The liquor he’d consumed before the kid
had gotten here made his eyes close. But before he zonked, he
heard,
Even your own mother doesn’t trust you. Takes the kid
away for his safety. He’s too good for you. They’re all too good
for you. You’re nothing after what you did over there!

Josh looked like his dad, with blond hair and
blue eyes, which were often so wary, it broke Lela’s heart. Today,
though, those eyes sparkled with excitement as they strolled
through the Seneca Park Zoo hand in hand.

“
Are you anxious to see the polar
bears?” she asked her son.

“
Yeah, they just came to the
zoo.”

“
I know, sweetie.”

Lela smiled as she raised her face to the sun
and let it warm her. Mid-April was a bit chilly, but the snow had
melted and a few daffodils and crocuses poked up through little
patches of grass. She promised herself to enjoy spring this year,
hopefully with less upheaval in their lives.

As they trekked down the paved path to the
bears, she asked casually, “Did you have fun with Grandma and
Grandpa yesterday?” She tried not to grill Josh about the visits,
but him being around his father worried her.

“
Uh-huh.”

“
What did you do?”

“
Helped turn up the garden. Grandpa
didn’t care how dirty I got.”

“
Grandpa’s cool. Was your dad with
you?”

Josh shook his head. After a moment, he
added, “He bought me a new game for my Xbox. We played for a little
while.”

Did he drink while they were together? She
dared not ask.

“
He had to go to bed after. He was
tired. Grandma and me made cookies.”

So Len did drink. Damn it! And she’d warned
him about video games—they tended to be so violent.

“
Hey, there they are. Aw, Mom, look
they’re sleeping together.”

It was a beautiful sight, the two bulky
animals, one spread out on its side, the other draped over it in a
mound of white fur. Lela forced herself to banish thoughts of Len,
who was unable to stay away from the booze even when his child was
visiting. Thank God for the Allens, or Josh would never see his
dad.

Though most times she wondered if that would
be so bad.

o0o

Beck sat in the firehouse kitchen, reading
The Heart of Hidden Cove
, a paper produced by Sands’
husband, surrounded by the pleasant scent of her bacon-and-eggs
breakfast, when the doorbell rang. O’Malley went to see who’d
arrived.