It Had to Be You (52 page)

She stared at him, horrified to find her eyes filled with tears.

“No.” He shook his head and pointed at her. “Don’t do that.
Shit,
” he said when she didn’t—couldn’t—stop, and thrust a box of tissues at her. “Christ, dry up, would ya? You didn’t even cry when I screwed around on you.”

“Shut up, Matt.” She blew her nose. Sighed. Leaned back and studied his ceiling.

Matt came around his desk and sat next to her, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s too late for tears now.”

She sniffed. “I know.”

“Good.” He snatched his tissues back. “You should also know, my emotional debt to you is now paid in full.”

“Yeah.” She sniffed. “Hope I didn’t put you out.”

“Hey, can this be about
me
now? My entire life is falling apart, and you’ve taken up hours of my time.” He sighed. “What do you think the chances are that people won’t notice that my partner is a raving lunatic?”

Amy stood in the kitchen creating dinner. Thick, meaty sandwiches on bread she’d baked earlier, with a side of fresh coleslaw. She was humming to herself and having a good time when Tucker came into the kitchen.

He walked right up to her, pulled her away from the counter, and turned her to face him.

She held a knife in one hand, a celery stalk in the other. She took in his expression, which was tense and grim, and felt her stomach drop. “What is it?”

“I’m going to kiss you,” he said.

The breath shuddered out of her lungs, and it wasn’t fear or revulsion that did it, but sheer shock, and…a trembly sort of anticipation so foreign it took her a moment to recognize it for what it was.

“I know you don’t like to be surprised,” he said. “So I thought I’d warn you.” His head lowered slowly, his eyes steady on hers. “Ready?” he whispered.

Her entire body quivered it was so ready. “I think so.”

“Good.” Then his warm lips were on hers, warm and easy. The knife and celery clattered to the floor.

Tucker pulled back, his eyes darker now, his mouth just a little wet—from hers, she thought with surprise. And something else surprised her, too. He looked a lot less grim. She’d done that for him, and the power of that was an incredible rush. Suddenly she wanted to kiss him again and erase the rest of the tension from his body. “So what was that for?” she asked unevenly.

“For trusting me with you last night.”

She stared at him. “I think I’d trust you with anything.”

“Good, because you can.” Gently he pulled her into him for a hug. A hug. Her eyes burned. Her hands didn’t hover this time, but touched his shoulders.

“Mmm,” rumbled from his chest. “Love your hands on me. I trust you, too, you know. With anything. Even my heart. Which you have by the way. In the palm of your hand.”

She concentrated on dragging air into her lungs; not easy. “What do you mean?”

“I love you.”

Nope, breathing was impossible. “Is that supposed to be some kind of a joke?”

“No joke.” He touched her face. “It’s a gift, freely given. You just sit on it a while, see how it fits.” Then he kissed her again and walked toward the door.

She stared at his back. “Where are you going?”

“Taking the guests on a ride.”

She put her hand to her lips, still tingling from his touch. He loved her.

He wanted her to get used to that.

She smiled. She thought maybe she could.

C
allie made the drive from Three Rocks to the Blue Flame on autopilot, numb to the core.

She had no one to blame but herself. If she’d told Jake from the beginning she wanted to buy the ranch, if she’d swallowed her pride sooner and gone to Matt a month ago…

She could go over the reasons and excuses until the cows came home, it didn’t matter. The ranch wasn’t hers. It never would be.

When she pulled up the driveway, she could see that most of the horses were gone, which meant that Eddie, Stone, and Tucker had the new guests out.

Good. She could have this out with Jake in privacy. And they
were
going to have it out. Because though this was her own fault, she was pissed. He couldn’t have waited one hour to accept that offer? Gathering more and more righteous indignation as she went, she searched for him, hoping he hadn’t gone riding, too. He wasn’t in his cabin, nor the big house. To her shock, she found him in the barn brushing Moe. She stared at him in confusion. “What are you doing? You hate that horse.”

At the sound of her voice, he jerked around. “Jesus, where have you been? I’ve been going out of my mind.”

“Really? Why?”

He came out of the stall and toward her.
“Why?”

“Yes.” Stepping back out of his reach, she crossed her arms. “I would have thought you had plenty to do around here without wondering where I’d run off to, what with selling the ranch and all.”

He looked confused. “Who told you I sold the ranch?”

“You did.”

“I told you I had an offer.”

“Don’t play games with me, Jake. You sold the place. It’s over. When do you leave?”

“Callie—”

“When do you leave?”

“Sunday.”

My God. Sunday. Just three days away.…The air escaped her lungs, and to her horror, she felt her eyes fill. “Fine. Great.” She turned away, but then whipped back toward him. “I can’t believe it, I just can’t. You couldn’t wait one more hour. I guess not, seeing how desperate you’ve been to get away from here. All the wide open space and country lifestyle was just dragging you down, right? The lack of nightlife, the lack of women—”

“Callie, I didn’t sell the ranch.”

“Then maybe you could tell me why the hell I swallowed all my pride and went to Matt, begged him for a loan, and you
still
turned down my offer?”

Jake looked shocked. “You went to Matt for a loan? So
you
were the second offer? The one that came through a couple of hours ago?”

“And all I had to do was relive his transgressions one by one, watch him squirm, and remember how it felt to have my heart sliced in two. Not too much humiliation, really, when I compare it to this.” She laughed harshly, swiped at her eyes, and turned in a slow circle in the barn she’d imagined as hers. “You never wanted this place, or all that went with it, and I understood that. But to come so close, so damn close—”

“Callie, I didn’t sell. In fact”—he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and thrust it at her—“I was busy this afternoon myself.”

She stared at him. “What’s this?”

“Read it.”

She did, and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. “A quitclaim deed?”

“In your name.”

“You’re”—lifting her head, she stared at him—“
giving
this place to me?”

“Yeah. Good luck with it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and offered a smile.

She let out a baffled laugh. “You can’t just give me the ranch.”

“Look, the lawsuits are all going to be dropped. I’m not going to be swept through the gutters financially like I thought.”

“The suit was dropped?”

“Yeah. I’m going to be okay.”

“Oh, Jake.” She put a hand to her aching heart. “Oh my God, I’m so glad. So you can keep the ranch now.”

“I’ve got to get back to San Diego, you know that.” He strode up to Moe. “You let me brush you,” he said to the horse. “You damn stubborn animal. Now I’m riding you. Do you hear me? I’m riding you once before I leave. Don’t kill me.” He grabbed the reins and mounted, and rode past Callie and right out of the barn.

“Damn it.” Callie saddled up Sierra. By the time she rode out into the early evening, both Jake and Moe were long gone. But she figured she knew Jake far better than she’d ever intended to. He was saying goodbye, and there was only one place for that. Urging Sierra into a gallop, she headed toward Richard’s Peak.

When she got to the top of the canyon, near the rock formation where they’d scattered Richard’s ashes, the wind ripped right through her. She turned a little to the west, and against a slowly sinking sun, she saw the stone they’d marked for Richard. Jake stood before it, his back to her as he stared down at the stone, the valley sprawled out in front of him. The wind plastered his shirt to him, ruffled his hair. Moe was tied to a tree, far enough away that he couldn’t take a bite out of Jake.

Callie dismounted Sierra and came close.

“I thought I might feel Richard here,” Jake said without looking at her. “I thought maybe the answers would be here.” Hunkering down, he brushed some dirt off the stone. “I keep wondering how this all happened, how he could have let my entire childhood go by without bringing me here even once. Maybe if he had, I would have seen—” He ran his fingers over his father’s name on the stone. “I just don’t get it. How could he so easily accept the rebuke of a twelve-year-old, without ever trying again?”

Her anger drained. Heart aching, she moved closer. “I don’t know.”

“I just threw the firefighting thing at him because my ego was hurting, and after his reaction, it stuck with me. Good thing I loved it, huh?”

“Jake—”

He shook his head. “At the end, when he had his will drawn, do you think he remembered he hadn’t spoken to me in years? And if he did, then why the hell did he leave me everything he owned?” He let out a disparaging sound. “So many damn questions, and not a single answer.”

He surged back to his feet. “I don’t know what I expected. Maybe the answers to leap out at me?” He shook his head. “But the only thing up here is the setting sun, and”—he looked at her—“an odd sense that it’s okay. It’s okay because in spite of everything, he did the best he could. And in the end, just like in the beginning, this was all he had to give me.”

“It’s a hell of a lot,” she said quietly.

“Far more than I knew. He gave me everything.
Everything,
” he said softly, and took her hand, turning them both so they could look out into the valley together. “I don’t want to fight with you, Callie.”

“That’s too bad, because we have one good one left.” She pulled the deed out of her back pocket, then ripped it in half, slapping the two halves against his chest. “I want to buy this place from you, Jake. Not have it handed to me.”

“You never take the easy route, do you.”

“Not often.”

He looked so confused. “I thought I was doing the right thing, giving you the ranch.”

“No.”

“What do you want from me, Callie?”

“To hear what’s going on.” She put her palm over his heart. “In here.”

“Isn’t trying to give you a half million dollar property a big enough statement?”

“I see you with your brother, and there’s such longing in your face. Do you ever tell him? I see you brushing your father’s horse even when it would bite you on the ass if it could, and still, you keep trying with the stubborn thing. I see you look at me, and I’ve got to tell you, Jake, there’s so much in one look that you take my breath, but you don’t say anything. When we’re in bed at night, our bodies sing together, and I…” She closed her eyes and felt a dreamy smile cross her lips. “I’ve never felt happier.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “But you never say a word about how you feel about us.”

“I’m leaving—”

“Yes, I know. But as you’ve said, there are planes. Cars. Phones. E-mail.” She touched his face, wanting so badly to reach him. “I just want to hear what you’re feeling,” she said again, more softly, and held her breath. “About the ranch, the people in it.
Me.
”

He looked at her, then closed his eyes. “I remember what it was like to have Tucker in my life. I mean
really
in my life. God, I miss that. And that damn ornery horse over there, my
father’s
horse…looking at him I feel such regret that it’s like a stab in my chest.” She still had her hand over his heart, and he covered it with his. “How am I doing?”

Through a veil of tears, she nodded. “Good. Now me.”

“And you…”

“Yes? I drive you crazy? I make you mad? I make you want to rip all my clothes off? Pick one, Jake.”

“All of the above, most definitely,” he assured her. “But there’s something else. A biggie.”

“Spit it out then.”

“I love you.”

Her own heart tumbled. “Oh, Jake.”

“I know. It’s a complication.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

“Really?” He shoved his fingers in his hair and looked nearly destroyed. “How?”

“Because I love you back. With all my heart.”

He stared at her. “You do?”

Poor, poor baby. “Oh, yes. Very much. You’re really not going to sell the Blue Flame?”

“I want you to have it. You should have had it all along.”

She took the two pieces of the quitclaim deed back from him, and ripped them into a hundred more, scattering them on the wind. “The only way I want this ranch is to share it with you. Yes, I know you’re leaving, and I don’t care. I have a big fat loan now. I can help you.”

“Callie, no—”

“I’ll fly to see you as often as I can.”

“You’d come and spend part of your time in San Diego?”

“To be with you, I’d live on the moon.”

He looked flummoxed, and a little unsteady, and as if his legs wouldn’t hold him any longer, he sank to his knees. “You…really love me.”

“Yes.” She dropped to her knees as well, and cupped his face. “Think you can handle it?”

“I can handle it.” He kissed her long and deep, and then pulled back looking very seriously into her eyes. “I have a confession to make. Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t.”

“I do love you, and believe me, those words are quite new to my vocabulary, but you’re going to have to share me.”

“You’re not sleeping with your receptionist—Sorry,” she said at his shock. “Too much of the ex-husband today. Go ahead. You love me, and you also love…”

He muttered something, and she shook her head. “Sorry, Jake. I couldn’t hear you.”

“That stupid horse over there. I love that stupid horse.” He pointed to Moe.

She bit her lip.

“You promised not to laugh.”

“I’m smiling. Quite different from laughing.” She hugged him. “Oh, Jake, you’re so sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“You are.”

“Well, then, I should tell you, I also love this land. I can’t believe it. But I actually want to live here, at least part of the time. I was thinking…”

She trailed a finger down his chest. “What?”

“Thinking—” He grabbed her finger. “That maybe I could teach every
other
class of recruits, and be here in between.”

She went still. “The best of both worlds?”

“Only if you’re in both of those worlds.” He brushed her hair away from her face, traced her earlobe with his finger. “What do you think?”

“It won’t be easy.” She stood up, gave him a hand and pulled him up, too. “I’m bossy. And I like to have things my own way.”

A smile tugged at his mouth. “I’ve noticed. But I have my own bad habits, you know. I can be broody, especially if I don’t get sex once a day.”

“Hmmm…” Her heart surged with such hope and love, it almost hurt. “Then we’d better make sure to sleep together every night.”

He stroked her jaw. “That sounds like a commitment.”

“I’m not the commitment phobe here, Jake.”

His other hand came up, cupping her face. “I find that particular fear has left me.”

Her breath caught. “Is that right?”

He looked down at Richard’s stone and nodded. “Yeah.” He brought her hand up to his mouth. “Do you ever talk to him?”

“Richard? Sometimes.”

He touched the stone, then did something he’d never really done before. Talked to his father. “I’m sorry I never told you when you were alive, Dad, because you would have gotten a kick out of this, but you were right. You had it all here.” He opened his arms to Callie. “Right here.”

She moved right into them, there being no place on earth she’d rather be.