17
“C
ome on, Gia. Move your butt!” Mrs. Vaughn yells across the gymnasium.
I am late for Hi-Steppers practice today because Kevin wanted to get some work in on our short story. We have a difference of opinion on the ending. I think that our lead female, Helena, should find out Steve can read minds, be freaked out, and run off screaming. Kevin says that's not romanticâas if he would know. But anyway, he wants Helena and Steve to get beyond their differences and attend the senior prom together. I vote no. Kevin can go ahead with all those rainbows, unicorns, and happy endings.
But anyway, our argument has me totally late for practice. Valerie and I have choreographed a sweet step to Kanye West's song “Touch the Sky” and she's already standing in front of the Hi-Steppers teaching it. There is this crossover move that we do right before we throw our hands up in the sky that is
bananas
! I can't wait to do it at the game on Friday.
The rest of the step is pretty simple stuff, and the Hi-Steppers catch on quickly. Throughout the entire practice, Candy keeps giving me the I-know-you-snitched side eye. Whatever!
At the end of practice, Valerie stands in front of us all. She announces, “I am running for Homecoming queen. All Hi-Steppers are expected to help me be crowned by wearing buttons and passing out flyers.”
I cover my mouth and pretend to cough, but I'm really laughing. She's got me messed up if she thinks I'm going to be handing out buttons that say
Be a pal, Vote for Val
. No, ma'am. Absolutely not.
Valerie continues, “Susan Chiang, one of the rally girls, is running against me as queen. As a show of solidarity, we will not be attending any rally girlâsponsored events until after Homecoming, which is three weeks away.”
“When you say
we,
who exactly do you mean?” I ask.
The rally girls' bowling party was the hotness! This week they're doing the party at FunNStuff, an arcade and laser-tag spot where everybody hangs. I fully intend to be there, so I don't know what kind of punishment Valerie is gonna have for me.
“I mean
all
of us, Gia. Hi-Steppers stick together.”
I hate being torn like this. Trust and believe, I'm down for the Hi-Steppers. I
love
being a Hi-Stepper! But Hope is my cousin and one of my best friends. It doesn't matter to me if she's a rally girl.
“Listen, Valerie, I'll help you become the Homecoming queen, but it won't be by hating on the rally girls.”
Mrs. Vaughn dismisses our practice and we all rush to the locker room. I would like to avoid Valerie because I do not want to continue that Hi-Steppers united foolishness. But I brace myself for drama because Kelani, Jewel, Candy, and Valerie are all giving me dirty looks.
I quickly shower and get dressed, not just because I want to get away from this negative air, but because I have to go do a few things for Mother Cranford. I have been seriously neglecting my only source of income. I will be in a straight economic recession if she decides she wants to bless another member of the youth ministry at our church with employment.
Just when I think I'm going to escape without any ridiculous conversations, Valerie blocks my path. The other Hi-Steppers have made a small semicircle around Valerie, so I guess this means they have her back. Whatev!
“Gia, are you sure you want to be a Hi-Stepper?” Valerie asks.
I puff out my cheeks with air. Does this girl know that she sounds like a CD with a scratch on it? Just repeating the same things over and over and over again. She should be tired of hearing herself!
“I didn't join the Hi-Steppers for all this drama, Valerie.”
Valerie smirks. “I'm just asking because ever since Hope quit the squad, you don't seem to be one hundred percent with us.”
Okay, it's time to end this. I drop my gym bag on the bench and put both hands on my imaginary hips, tilt my head to the side, and narrow my eyes like I most definitely mean business.
“Listen here, chica. You are
not
going to run me off the squad with all your bully tactics. I'm not Hope, sweetie.”
“Who's trying to run you off the squad?” Valerie asks.
Candy says, “Better be careful, Valerie. She'll go to Mrs. Vaughn. Snitching seems to be her thing these days.”
“Whatever, Candy!”
Valerie pats Candy's arm and says, “It's all right, Candy. I haven't forgotten what you told me about Gia snitching. Although it isn't cool for her to tell on you, we're going to have to discuss your little
problem
. There is no place on this squad for potential felons.”
Candy looks as if Valerie just punched her in the stomach.
Potential felon
? Wow! That is too funny. I couldn't have done that better myself. But that's what Candy gets for trying to be all up in my business.
Valerie says, “Anyway, Gia, back to you. If this has anything to do with you and your cousin both being in love with Rick ...”
“What?” I ask.
“Everyone can see it, Gia. You both drool over him like he's a Krispy Kreme glazed donut.”
Wait a minute. While I do love Krispy Kreme donuts, I don't see what their sweet, yummy goodness has to do with Ricky or Hope. I need Valerie to repeat that analogy, because she completely lost me at “donut.” Maybe I'm just hungry.
“But you can both have him,” Valerie says. “I have decided that I'm no longer interested. His time has run out. I've given him plenty of opportunities to hook up with me, but he's chosen to miss the best thing that could ever happen to him.”
Valerie is such a Kanye. She is her own hype man, and the look is not a good one.
I glance up at the clock and it's a quarter till five. I've got to get out. “Valerie, I'm sure Ricky will be happy to hear that. I think he was wondering when you were gonna catch the hint that he doesn't want you.”
“How could he not want me?” Valerie asks. “If he likes females, then he would want me. Every boy in this school wants me.”
I can't keep my chuckle on the inside. “I know. And more than half of the boys in this school have
had
you. I think Ricky would prefer someone with a little less mileage.”
Valerie fumes. “Keep playing, Gia, and you're gonna end up off the squad.”
I walk out of the locker room and away from a dozen pairs of eyes. On my way out, I toss my hand in the air and give them all a silent
whatever
.
Hopefully, Valerie is serious about being done with Ricky, because I'm ready to move to the next episode. That whole back-and-forth, broke-down romance was not the business at all!
Speaking of Ricky, he's waiting outside in the school parking lot to drive me to Mother Cranford's house. I was hoping he didn't leave me, because her house is a twenty-minute walk from here. And yes, I could take the bus, but that would require me to part ways with some of my money. I'd rather use up Ricky's gas.
I jump in his car on the passenger side. “What's up, Ricky Ricardo?”
“You're in a good mood!” he says, probably referring to the post-nuke glow I have from destroying Valerie.
“I
am
in a good mood, and you should be too. Valerie just announced to all of the Hi-Steppers that she is over you.”
Ricky shrugs. “I thought she already was. She hasn't spoken to me since we all went to Cedar Point. I heard she's going to Homecoming with Romeo.”
“Aren't there any seniors that want to go with her?” I ask. “She stays trying to hook up with someone in the junior class. I can't wait until she graduates.”
And yes, I am just a tad bit irritated that she's going to Homecoming with my former crush. It's so funny how that Hi-Stepper loyalty only applies when Valerie can use it to her own advantage. It's also funny how the entire squad (except me) falls for it every time.
So not the business.
When we pull up to Mother Cranford's house, Hope is there, standing on the porch. I know Mother Cranford must get sick of us teenagers using her house as the hangout spot. But I'm glad Hope and Ricky are here because it makes the time go by faster and they help!
When Ricky doesn't turn the car off, I ask, “Aren't you staying?”
He glances up at Hope and says, “Nah, I think I'll go hang out with Kevin, and maybe try to finish our paper.”
“Is it because of Hope?” I ask.
Ricky sighs. “Kinda. I mean it's weird because I know she likes me. But I can't just avoid her like Valerie! Hope is my people, you know?”
“Yeah, it's just like with me and Kevin. I just keep hoping that one day he'll decide he doesn't like me anymore.”
“Now that you put it that way, I understand why you don't want to be around Kev sometimes.”
I get out of the car and slam the door. As Ricky backs out of the driveway, I can see Hope's smile fade.
“Hey, Hope. Why didn't you just wait inside?”
She replies, “Because Mother Cranford is your friend, not mine!”
“She's gonna hear you. You know she has supersonic hearing.”
From inside her house, Mother Cranford says, “Gia? Is that you? Come on in here!”
I grab Mother Cranford's house key from underneath her potted plant. Hope and I march in and go straight into the kitchen. First order of business is Mother Cranford's afternoon snack, and then my favoriteâcleaning the bathroom!
“Mother Cranford, what do you do on the days I don't come by?” I ask.
She replies, “I get it myself. But since I'm paying you, today I can rest my legs.”
“Mother, are you in there getting smart?” Hope asks.
“Baby, I have earned the right to get smart. That's what old folk do.”
“Well, I wouldn't get too sassy if I were you!” I say. “You don't have your snack yet.”
Mother Cranford's response is to turn up the volume on her television. She is not pressed, okay?
“So why didn't Ricky stay?” Hope asks as she opens the freezer and hands me Mother Cranford's favoriteâLean Cuisine.
“He was going to hang out with Kevin, I think.”
“Oh.”
Dang, I hate how sad Hope sounds. Maybe this will cheer her up. “Valerie says that she's over Ricky.”
“Really? I wonder why.”
“I think that Ricky was making her look foolish. She's been stalking him since last year and he still won't holla at her.”
“Well, he was digging her at first.”
“He was. But then she played him like a dummy, so he moved on.”
Hope opens her purse and hands me a thick stack of papers. “What is this?” I ask.
“It's a letter that I've written for Ricky. Can you read it and tell me what you think?”
I look down at the pile of at least ten pages covered on the front and back with Hope's curly handwriting in purple ink. Then I look back at my cousin. She has truly lost her mind.
“Do not give him this, Hope.”
“But I want him to know how I feel! I have to get this off my chest.”
How do I explain this to her without hurting her feelings? “Hope, my mother always says that you should let the boy make the first move.”
“I know. My mom says the same thing, but Ricky is taking way too long. It's been like forever.”
“Maybe he's not planning to make a move at all,” I say.
She counters. “Maybe he's shy.”
You've got to be kidding me. When in the world did she get to be so dense?
Hope laughs and says, “Okay, so Ricky is like the hottest guy in the school. I know he's not shy. I think he won't make a move because my father is the pastor. That is so irritating.”
“That might be true, Hope, but just promise me that you will not give him that letter.”
“Since you think it's a bad idea, maybe I'll wait, but if he doesn't do or say something soon, I'm going to have to take drastic measures.”
I want to just come out and say that Ricky isn't feeling Hope, but is it my place to do that? I'm thinking no. But real talk, somebody's gonna have to tell somebody something, because I'm not feeling this whole getting-stressed-over-other-people's-love-lives. Ugh!
18
O
kay, our dinners are already stressful enough with Gwen's interesting culinary creations, so I don't need to have my stepfather and klepto stepsister staring me down. I don't even think I want to know why they're looking all crazy.
LeRon takes a bite of his Mexican cornbread and grimaces. I almost burst into laughter at the expression on his face. He's the one who told Gwen that he wanted variety. I blame him and his complex taste buds.
LeRon clears his throat and says, “Gwen, Candy came to me in tears about something you said to her, and I think we should discuss it as a family.”
“Oh really?” Gwen asks. “What has Miss Candy been crying about?”
Candy looks terrified and rightfully so. She must think her daddy is some kind of superhero if she snitched to him on Gwen. My mother's nose is already flaring in and out and that is phase number one of crouching-tiger-hidden-Gwen mode.
“Well, it seems that you've asked her where she got some of her clothing items, as if she'd stolen them,” LeRon says. “She felt like you invaded her privacy.”
“Is that a fact?” Gwen asks. Now her chest is heaving up and down with rapid, shallow breaths.
“Yes,” LeRon says, “but I'd like to get your side of the story. Did it happen this way?”
“
My
side of the story? You want
my
side of the story?”
Aw, man. It's on and popping now. She's repeating herself and her voice has gone up to the next octave. This is not a good thing. If I was LeRon I would stop now while there's still time.
LeRon replies, “Yes, of course. You're my wife, so I definitely want to hear what you have to say.”
“Well, that's good to know,” Gwen says, “but I am not about to sit up here and defend myself or my parenting skills, especially in front of this child.”
LeRon replies, “I understand. Why don't we step into our bedroom and discuss this further?”
“That's what you should've asked from the get-go,” Gwen says. “But right now, I'm going to finish my dinner. After I'm done, we can go and discuss this as husband and wife.”
I can feel Candy's legs shaking underneath the table, and it makes me want to crack up. That's what she gets. There is no way she's gonna pull that daddy's-little-girl stuff up in here. Gwen isn't having it. At all.
“May I please be excused?” Candy asks with a desperate tone in her voice.
“Yes ...” LeRon starts.
“No, you may not,” Gwen interjects. “You may be excused when you're done eating. From where I'm sitting, it looks like you've hardly touched your Mexican cornbread.”
Ooh! Gwen is foul for that.
She
hasn't even touched her Mexican corn slop, and she's the one who made it!
Candy stuffs another forkful of food into her mouth. If I wasn't afraid of Gwen's kung-fu grip I'd be ROFL right now.
Gwen takes a sip of her sweet tea and stands from the table. “LeRon, I'll be in the bedroom whenever you're ready to talk.”
All three of us watch Gwen do her angry sashay to the bedroom. Candy's eyes are filled with fear even though LeRon reaches across the table, pats her on the hand and says, “It's going to be all right.”
LeRon follows Gwen into their bedroom and closes the door, shutting us out of the very likely argument that's about to go down. Dang! We never get to see the juicy stuff.
Candy and I remain at the table. “Do you think I can throw this out now?” she asks, pointing to her food.
“I don't know, can you?”
Candy narrows her eyes and marches toward the kitchen. When she hears how loud her steps are, she switches to a tiptoe.
After hiding her food in the kitchen garbage can, Candy comes back to the table and whispers, “Why did you throw me under the bus, Gia?”
“What bus? Girl, what are you talking about?”
“You told Gwen all about my boosting, didn't you? Just admit it, Gia.”
“I don't know. Did I?”
Candy growls and says, “I
know
you told, Gia. I just don't understand why.”
“If I told, and I'm not saying I did, but
if
I told, maybe it was because I don't want you to get in trouble. Too bad I can't say as much for your friends.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I won't get in trouble? It's easy, and it's not hurting anyone.”
“God doesn't like stealing,” I say.
“God doesn't like haters.”
I just roll my eyes and take a swig of my sweet tea. I'm done trying to convince Candy to act like she has some sense. It's only a matter of time before Gwen has proof of what Candy is doing.
Gwen and LeRon come out of their bedroom after a very long and intense few minutes. From the look of disgust I see on Gwen's face, I know that this is far from over. LeRon's arms are crossed tightly across his chest and his eyebrows are dipped low.
Gwen says, “Candy, if you ever feel that you've been treated unfairly, I don't want you to be afraid to come and talk to me. By the same token, if I see something wrong or something that concerns me I'm going to address it.”
“Yes, ma'am,” Candy replies.
Umm, is somebody going to address how LeRon treats me? Nobody seems to be concerned about how I feel! No one asked me if I wanted this sticky-fingers girl to be joined at the hip with me.
“And another thing, teenagers don't have privacy in this home,” Gwen says. “You can have privacy when you're paying your own bills.”
Candy nods in agreement.
Gwen says, “I can't hear you.”
“Yes, ma'am,” Candy repeats.
Gwen exhales and smiles. “So everything is settled. I'm glad we had this conversation.”
Excuse me, what? Nothing is settled! Candy is still determined to be a criminal and LeRon still thinks I'm the problem. But since my mom has had enough excitement for one evening, what with the Mexican surprise (as in surprise, this is
not
cornbread) and Candy's tattling, I'm going to leave it alone.
But this is soooooo not settled.