Authors: Carter Ashby
Jake winced. “Bummer.”
“You should have seen her,” he said, laughing. “She closed her eyes before she turned to run, had to feel her way out of the barn and back to her horse. Pretty cute.”
Jake smiled to himself, glad that Cody had already begun forgiving her. He could justifiably refuse to forgive her forever. Spilling Cody’s secret was the worst thing she’d done that day. No one else, not even Jake, had had the right to ask her to bear the burdens of their secrets.
Still, maybe it was because he had such a soft spot for her, maybe it was because he knew she regretted it the instant it happened—but he wanted Cody to forgive her. She deserved a second chance.
As if reading his mind, Cody said, “She was a good friend to me. She blew her top, is all. Who wouldn’t? Can’t believe Dad talked to her like that.”
“I can’t believe she’s been juggling all this. And I don’t know how many times I’ve accused her of sleeping with one of you guys. She ought to turn around and never look back. But I hope she doesn’t. I hope she can forgive me.”
“She will. She’s a good person.”
Jake nodded. A breeze kicked up. The smells in the pasture weren’t always pleasant, but this breeze carried a hint of lilac from where it grew on the fence bordering the Turner property. “What are we gonna do?” he mused quietly.
“I guess we’re gonna apply for jobs with Mr. Turner.”
“Gideon will come around. He’ll have to.”
Cody shook his head. “I’d hate to abandon you, Jake. But my father just looked me in the eye and told me I was dead to him. He almost lost a son for real last week and he turned and said that to me, Dallas barely home from the hospital. I don’t think I could ever work for him again.”
“He just needs time—”
“Yeah? Well, he can’t have it.” Cody got to his feet and started walking in the direction of their house. Jake followed. “You think this isn’t hard enough for me? You think I wanted this for myself?”
Jake sighed. He was right. Gideon’s behavior was unforgivable. Still, this ranch was family property, and he couldn’t help but hope they could all stay together in the end. But right now, this was about Cody’s struggle. “When did you first know?” Jake asked.
“That I was gay? I’ve been denying it all my life. I can’t remember a time I didn’t prefer guys. Couldn’t even get it up for a woman without thinking about…” he trailed off.
“About who?”
Cody shook his head. “Never mind.”
“No, no. You have to tell me. Who?”
Cody stopped and rolled his eyes, looking at Jake in exasperation. “Brad Pitt’s character in Thelma and Louise.”
Jake burst into laughter.
“Shut up, asshole. I don’t care how straight you are, he was hot in that movie.”
Jake shook his head and fell back into step beside Cody. “No way. I’ve never thought a dude was hot.”
“Never? Really?”
“Well…I mean, I can acknowledge that a guy’s good looking or in good shape or whatever, but it’s never turned me on.”
“If you say so.”
“Stop trying to make me question my sexuality.”
“Why shouldn’t you? Why shouldn’t we all? Maybe we wouldn’t have so many problems if we didn’t draw so many hard lines about it.”
They finished the walk home confessing to embarrassing crushes. Inside the house they found Ivy sitting on the end of the sofa. Boone was laying down, his head in her lap as she stroked his hair like a puppy.
The jealousy surged through him, but Jake didn’t allow himself to react to it. He took a seat in one of the armchairs. Cody took the recliner. Ivy would only meet Cody’s gaze, tentatively. She kept her head, low, in an uncharacteristic posture of humility. “We got Dallas put back in his room,” she said. “He’s sleeping.”
“Thank you,” Jake said.
Ivy gulped, her attention focused on stroking Boone’s hair. After a long moment of silence, she looked up at Cody. “I feel like any apology will be completely inadequate. I don’t deserve your friendship after that,” she said. “Even as I was saying it, this voice in my head was screaming for me to stop.”
Cody’s head was bowed, too. He nodded in acknowledgment, but took some time to process. At last he leaned back in the recliner. “Honestly, I think it’s for the best. I like to think I’d have had the guts to come out eventually, but this way I just have to face up to it. Don’t get me wrong, that was a really shitty thing to do. But I forgive you.”
Ivy’s eyes welled with tears. “Thank you,” she said, her voice faltering.
Now she turned to face Jake, and he almost couldn’t breathe looking at her. He doubted he would see this side of her very often. This penitent, humble side. This vulnerable, shaken side. In fact, he hoped not to, but he was glad of it all the same. The barriers that keep two people from truly seeing each other always seem thinner in moments of vulnerability. For now, he felt he could see straight into her soul.
“Jake, I want you to know,” she said, “I didn’t know what Dallas was going to do. I knew he wanted out. He told me he’d get me an angle I could work to get you guys to sell. But I had no idea he’d do something this stupid and horrible.”
“What’s done is done, Ivy. I’m sorry you had to carry all that for so long.”
“You don’t seem angry at him.”
“Oh, I’m angry. I’ll deal with him when he’s well. It’s just, he almost died. At this point, my relief outweighs my anger.”
Ivy smiled sadly and sweetly at him.
Jake looked at Boone whose eyes were open, staring at the ceiling. “So it’s your turn. Talk.”
Boone sighed. With apparent great effort, he sat up and swung his legs off the sofa. “I already told the sheriff everything. Right now they’re investigating Richard for Molly’s murder. But he told me not to leave town.”
“We gave him our cell phones,” Ivy said. “We can get them back tomorrow. He’s getting all the texting history off of them. There may be an alibi for Boone on there and plenty of incriminating texts from Richard.”
Jake nodded, taking in her meek, folded hands and downcast eyes. He turned back to Boone. “You were sleeping with the preacher’s wife,” he said, halfway hoping Boone would deny it.
“Yeah, man, I fucked up, okay? It was a thrill. Shit’s so boring around here and I got a little high on the idea of being with a married woman.”
Ivy looked away, her jaw setting.
“God damn you, Boone! Show some remorse!” Jake didn’t make the conscious effort to stand—just one minute he was sitting, the next he was on his feet towering over his youngest brother.
Boone shocked him by jumping up, meeting him eye-to-eye. “Remorse? You’ve got no clue how this has felt! It’s my fault she’s dead. Mine. I didn’t kill her, but I may as well have. And I’ve had her psycho husband scaring the shit out of me via cell phone all week, I can’t even catch my breath long enough to grieve. I didn’t love Molly, okay? But she meant something to me. I’d have defended her if I’d known she was in trouble. I’d never have wished this on her, and I do miss her, and I do feel so much guilt over this it makes me sick. This whole thing has been a nightmare.”
Jake stepped back, sitting again. Boone collapsed onto the sofa and pressed the pads of his fingers against his eyes. “Why don’t you go to bed,” Jake said. “Get some rest.”
“I need a drink.” He climbed back up and stumbled into the kitchen.
Jake dropped his head back. After a few breaths, he realized all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Ivy and spend a lazy afternoon in bed. He leaned forward and scrubbed his hands through his hair. “So what do you wanna do, Ivy? Stay here, or go back to your house?”
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, though why she should be surprised was a mystery to Jake. All he knew was that that soft moment of a few minutes ago was over. The ire was coming back to her. “Tell you what, hoss. I’ll go back to my house. And you stay here and think about what you’ve done.”
“What
I’ve
done? What do you mean what I’ve done?”
“You stood there while your father yelled at me and you didn’t do a damn thing. You still haven’t taken me on a proper date or acknowledged me in public. You’ve provided no romance whatsoever. And you sit there and nonchalantly assume that I’m going to go to bed with you. There’s no relationship, here, Jake. You gotta build that, and so far we’ve got two solid hookups and a little fooling around under our belts. Do better.” With that, she stood and headed for the front door.
As it slammed behind her, Jake decided he wasn’t going after her. Not right then. He was too exhausted. Too burned. “I suck,” he moaned, leaning back into the sofa cushions again.
“At least,” Cody replied.
“I don’t know where she gets off saying I didn’t give her romance, though. We spent Friday night together and I devoted my entire being to making her happy. I thought that was pretty romantic.”
“I really don’t want to know about that.”
Jake sighed. “I guess it’s right she makes me work for it. I’m just exhausted right now.”
“I think we all need a little time to recover.”
Jake found the prospect of going to bed alone too depressing, even though he’d never had Ivy in his bed. He crashed on the couch, Cody in his recliner, and the other two in their rooms. When they woke up, there would be a whole new world to adjust to.
Myra’s Blog
There’s nothing I hate worse than a domineering man. Many of you know about my second marriage. Theodore was an abusive drunk, and I’m ashamed to say I fell victim to his violence for more years than I care to admit.
Now I’m not saying Gideon Deathridge is abusive or a drunk, but I will say…you reap what you sow. It appears the Deathridges have endured a major falling out, and who should be at the center of it all, but little Ivy Turner. I have to say, I’m not shocked to find out that Ivy has been sleeping with Jake all this time. It was obvious from the start, if you ask me.
And I’m not too terribly shocked to find out Boone was having an affair with the pastor’s wife. The boy was always a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Dallas’s treachery, however, is not only shocking, but deeply disturbing. You need mental help, Dallas. I hope you get it.
The most entertaining bit to me, however, is the news that Cody plays for the other team. I hope you’ll all join me in welcoming Cody to life outside the closet. We wish you the best. I’m sure many a female heart is grieving today.
Thursday afternoon, Cody drove into town, dropped by the bakery for some pastries, then by the country store for a couple decks of cards and some board games. After that, he went, uninvited and unannounced to the Turner house.
Jake was working his ass off on the ranch even as Gideon ignored his existence like a pouting child. Jake had managed to drag Boone out to work, claiming that it would keep his mind occupied, but when he’d tried to get Cody to go with him, Cody had gently, but firmly, told him to fuck off. He had a life to live and he was damn sure not going to live it under the auspice of a man like Gideon who ruled with an iron fist and withheld love for no good reason at all.
He pulled into the Turner’s driveway around nine in the morning. When he knocked, he was surprised to see the door swing open and reveal a shirtless and bruised Jordan.
Jordan smiled sadly. “Hey, man. The Turners are out. Ivy’s at work. Mr. Turner’s with the cattle.”
“Perfect,” Cody said, smiling for the first time since before the Big Revelation, which is what they’d all taken to calling Ivy’s outburst on Monday.
Jordan stepped aside, looking a little confused. “I heard what happened.”
Cody ignored him as he kicked off his boots. He had a bag full of games in one hand and a box of pastries in the other. “Where are you hanging out?”
“Uh, upstairs. I just came down for coffee. I didn’t think they’d want me roaming around.”
“Psh. They’re responsible for the condition you’re in—”
“I don’t think that’s necessarily true—”
“—And I’m sure they mean for you to make yourself at home. Here, let’s take the living room.”
“I don’t know if we should…”
Cody ignored him again as he moved into the living room. He sat the box and bag on the coffee table and pulled it closer to the sofa. Then he grabbed Jordan’s hand and led him to the sofa, making sure there were enough cushions around him. “I should put on a shirt,” Jordan murmured.
Cody snorted. He wasn’t going to get lucky with the kid, not in the condition he was in, but more clothes was definitely not the direction he wanted to go. He headed to the kitchen. “Did you already get your coffee?” he shouted over his shoulder.
“I was microwaving some.”
“Screw that. I’ll make a fresh pot.” It took him a moment to figure out the Turner’s coffee pot, but once he did, he flipped it on and headed back to the living room, hopping over the back of the couch and landing next to Jordan.
“You seem…chipper,” Jordan said.
Cody laughed. “Yeah, well, I’m temporarily without the weight of the world. No job, no judgmental asshole of a father, and a cute guy I’m hoping will be my friend. What do you say?”
Jordan’s look was skeptical. “Are you okay?”
“Better than ever.”
Jordan sighed, closing his eyes. “No, Cody. Are you okay?” When he opened his eyes again, Cody’s bullshit euphoria vanished and he sank back into the neutral place he’d been the past few days. It was a sort of numbness as his anger fell away and he began to reassess his life and think about the possibilities for his future.
He met Jordan’s gaze and nodded. “I am okay. I really am. I think Jake’s right. Once the old man sees how much he’s lost, he’ll come around. But I don’t think I can ever work for him again.”
Jordan grinned. “The Turners are hiring.”
“So I hear. Not sure I’d get much work done, though.” He let his gaze wander down and back up again, enjoying the blush high on Jordan’s cheekbones. “Right now I just came to play with you.”