It's All Relative (10 page)

Her breaths grew sporadic; she looked on the verge of losing it. Kai stepped forward and put a hand on her arm. “I know. It’s okay, I know.”

Giving him an apologetic smile, she withdrew from his touch. With a similar smile of his own, Kai gave her space. “We’re going to have to be more careful.” He let out a weary exhale. Much more careful. “I’m sorry, Jessie, you just, you don’t feel like family. The idea grosses me out, but not… I still want…I still want you.”

Looking at the floor, Kai felt horrible and guilty for admitting that. Jessie sighed as she moved even farther away from him. “I know…I want you too.” Glad that at least they were in the same awful boat, Kai peeked up at her. She shrugged when they made eye contact. “But even if we don’t feel like it, we
are
family, and this can’t happen.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“So what do we do?” she asked with a shake of her head.

Kai clenched his fingers into fists as he resisted the urge to walk over and tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “We try not to get too close to each other. At least, until this feeling…passes.” It had to pass. Jessie nodded, and the chocolate depths of her eyes glassed over. Kai hated seeing her turmoil; it was so similar to his own. All he wanted was to get closer to her. Wanting to ease her pain, and his own, he cracked a small smile. “But, can I get your help with the furniture first?”

Jessie laughed, causing a tear to release and drip down her cheek. With a small smile of her own, she nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

They made quick work emptying Jessie’s truck. With several of the larger pieces of Gran’s stuff, they had to bypass the elevator and use the stairs. When they got a dresser wedged in a corner, they both laughed pretty hard, and Kai jokingly told her that he was at her mercy. Growing quiet, Jessie gave him an odd look full of longing and pain. Kai had to remind himself for the millionth time that she wasn’t some beautiful girl he could flirt with whenever the mood struck him. She was so much more, and so much less.

After a couple hours of sweaty work, they finally moved in all the furniture: two dressers, a nightstand with a lamp, a large bookcase, and a frame and headboard for his mattress. Considering the size of Jessie’s truck, it was amazing that they’d been able to fit everything in only one trip. Looking over at Jessie as she blew a loose curl off her shiny forehead, Kai smiled. It was easy to fit things into place with her. Too easy.

When all the furniture was arranged, they lowered his mattress onto the frame and replaced the sheets. The same sheets they’d had sex on. After they were finished, they both stared at the spot that had changed everything in their relationship. An awkward tension began to build, and Kai found himself whispering, “Who is Jeremy?”

Jessie flinched, and Kai felt heat rush into his face. He really hadn’t meant to ask her that, but curiosity had driven it out before he could stop himself. She’d mentioned something about a man named Jeremy, right before she’d shoved her hand down his pants. She’d been comparing his size to that guy. At the time, she’d seemed pleased with what she’d found.

Color stained Jessie’s cheeks as embarrassment flashed through her. Walking over to one of Kai’s boxes, she opened it and started pulling out his clothes. She was going to stay and help him put his stuff away? While he was grateful for that, since he really wasn’t looking forward to doing it, he was pretty surprised, too, especially after what he’d just asked her.

Jessie let out a long exhale as she folded some crumpled T-shirts and placed them in a dresser drawer. Not looking at Kai, she answered, “He was my last boyfriend, who found it very difficult to keep it in his pants.” She glanced over at him as he blinked in surprise. “I caught him with another woman once, and that was enough for me.” Her gaze washed over the front of Kai’s jeans, and her face colored even more. “I think he was just insecure,” she muttered, a devilish smile twisting her lips for a second.

Kai laughed, then sighed. She was comparing her ex to him…this was all so weird. Reaching into a box, Kai started putting away some of his books. Jessie shook her head as she watched him. “God, I can’t believe I said that to you last night.” Looking horribly embarrassed, she stopped unpacking his clothes and stared at him. “I’m generally not that…”

She bit her lip as she let her thought trail off. Kai smiled as he remembered. “Aggressive?”

Jessie groaned and let her head fall back. Then her hands came up to cover her face. She looked mortified. Kai wanted to reassure her, let her know that she had no reason to be embarrassed about her actions. Everything else aside, the physical part of their night had been amazing. Quietly, he told her, “I’ve never had anyone be like that with me. It was amazing, you were amazing.” Deciding to be perfectly honest with her, he admitted, “It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

She slowly lowered her hands; her face reflected his own sadness and revulsion. “That makes me feel wonderful…and horrible.” Kai gave her a sad smile. He knew just what she meant. Shaking her head again, she stuck her hand back into his box of clothes. “This is so messed up, Kai.”

Returning to his box of books, he muttered, “I know.”

After another hour or so, they had emptied all of Kai’s boxes. Jessie laughed at several of his private things. A mug he’d made in art class one year—it had an obvious lean to one side. A photo of a group of his friends tossing him into the ocean. A Tiki statue with a gigantic schlong. One of his friends had found it in an adult shop, and had thought it would bring Kai good luck in the girl department. Kai wasn’t sure if it had or not.

Jessie smiled to herself as she flipped through one of the photo albums his mom had made for him. She stopped on a picture of him and his friends standing shirtless on the beach. Her finger languidly traced the swirling pattern of Kai’s tattoo peeking up over his collar bone. As he came over to sit beside her on the bed, his chest ached with the memory of her soft lips touching his tattoo last night. “Does it mean something?” she asked, her finger pointing to the black ink in the picture.

Kai smiled and shook his head. “Not really. They’re just tribal markings. A group of us decided to get them after graduating from high school.” He pointed to his friends in the pictures, to the various spots on their bodies where they’d each gotten the swirling, slashing tattoos.

Jessie glanced at the tattooed arms and legs in the photo, and her gaze drifted to Kai’s shoulder. She bit her lip, and he could tell that she wanted to see it again. Not thinking about why he shouldn’t show her, he lifted his layers of shirts up enough so that she could see the bulk of it along his back, along the blade. Jessie’s mouth popped open as her finger came out to touch the dark design. Her index finger traced a swirl, and her nail teasingly grazed his skin. The heat of the contact instantly shot through him. Realizing how close they were getting and where they were sitting, Kai stood and let his shirts drop down into place.

Flushing, Jessie looked away. Not getting too close was going to be a lot harder than Kai would have ever imagined. Smiling reassuringly at her, he casually asked, “Hungry?”

Shutting the book, Jessie nodded. “Yeah, starving. There’s this great pizza place nearby. I’ll call.” She stood up and headed to the kitchen for her phone in her purse.

Running a hand through his hair, Kai glanced up at the ceiling and prayed for the strength to get through this. He was about to reply to Jessie’s suggestion when she shot back, “Hawaiian, right?” When he dropped his gaze to hers, he spotted a playful grin on her face. Seeing it relaxed him.
Yes, they could do this
.

Teasing her back, he said, “No, Haole don’t make it right. Pepperoni is fine.”

Jessie twisted her lips and rolled her eyes as she made the call. Kai dug into his wallet for some cash and handed it to her when she was finished ordering their dinner. Jessie shook her head and tried giving it back to him, but Kai refused to take it. “You’ve done so much for me today, it’s the least I can do.” With a calm smile on his face, he hoped she would let him do this for her. Try to repay her kindness in some small way.

Jessie gave him an expression that clearly said it wasn’t necessary, but she did stuff the bill into her jeans. Happy that she’d accepted, Kai leaned back against the counter. Jessie copied him on another counter and they passed the time with small talk, mainly Jessie filling him in on all the attractions Denver had to offer. She teased him good-naturedly on his island heritage, but by the way her eyes drank him in, Kai could tell that his looks appealed to her. Of course, he’d already known that. Pushing that fact out of his head, he focused instead on the soothing sound of her voice.

J
essica Marie woke up Sunday morning with less of a headache than yesterday but a throbbing skull, nonetheless. She was having quite a weekend. She’d met a man, an attractive man. She’d gone home with him and let herself be someone she really wasn’t. She’d fulfilled a fantasy, a fantasy that was supposed to help heal her bruised heart. It wasn’t supposed to give her heart a different sort of ache. The man was not supposed to be her cousin.

Letting out an irritated sigh, Jessie shoved aside her mountain of covers and hopped out of bed. She immediately slipped her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers. The entire house had wooden floors, and they were especially chilly early in the morning. Jessie could hear the sound of cartoons and laughter coming from the living room when she opened her bedroom door; her roommates were awake. She’d managed to go an entire day without them grilling her about her hookup. She’d been reluctant to share details about that night before, but now… Jessie had no idea what she should tell her friends. Hearing them softly talking with each other, Jessie darted into the bathroom so she could buy herself some time with a refreshing shower.

Wondering what to tell her roommates, she thought about the man in question. Kai Harper. The boy bearing the same last name. Groaning, Jessie tried not to dwell on that fact. Hanging out with him yesterday had been enjoyable. Kai was interesting, funny, smart, and outrageously handsome. He was the kind of guy she could see herself with for a while, maybe even long term. But that wasn’t an option for them. At all. Not only was the thought disturbing, it would be impossible to explain their relationship at family reunions. That thought made her groan again.

Rinsing off the last, lingering bubbles, she reminisced about their dinner together. They’d sat on the floor in front of his bed, the pizza box spread between them. As they’d talked and ate, they’d each occasionally glanced at the bed, remembering. It was going to take some time for the memory of that eventful evening to leave their brains. Kai had admitted that she was the best sex he’d ever had, and while she hadn’t said it back to him, she’d been thinking the exact same thing. An incredible night like that wasn’t the sort of thing she could just suddenly forget, even if she wished she could.

Stepping out of the shower, Jessie started piecing together her day. She wanted to check on Grams again, make sure she didn’t need any help with anything yet and she wasn’t in too much pain. After that, she wanted to go get some groceries for Kai. Rummaging through his kitchen for something to drink last night, she’d instantly noticed that all he had was an almost empty carton of milk in the fridge. When Jessie had given him a quizzical look, he’d apologized, saying he hadn’t gotten around to shopping for food yet. Jessie wasn’t sure, but she thought he was probably filling himself up on junk food. Boys had a tendency to do that, especially boys left to their own devices.

She wanted to help him. Aside from the fact that she actually liked Kai, he was family, and that was what family did: helped each other. Plus, a small nagging part of her brain really wanted to see him again. She tried to ignore that part as she got dressed.

Finally feeling more put together to face her inquisitive friends, she walked out into the living room. April was sitting on the couch sideways, her feet up on the cushions, her hands around her knees. She was engrossed in her conversation with Harmony, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and didn’t notice Jessie. Harmony did. She looked over when she spotted her. Having lost her audience, April finally noticed Jessie, as well.

“Oh, she surfaces. Feeling better?” April winked, and Jessie knew she wasn’t talking about her hangover being gone.

Ignoring the churning in her gut, she gave April as bright of a smile as she could. “Much better, thanks.”

April laughed. “No problem. You needed it.” Harmony frowned but didn’t comment. She looked as if she still didn’t approve of letting Jessie escape with Kai, and now, knowing what she did, Jessie wished Harmony had fought harder to stop her from leaving. If only their embarrassment was a heated kiss on the dancefloor. April jumped around to lean over the back of the couch. “So…how was he?” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively and Jessie suppressed a groan.
And it starts
.

“I…don’t really remember.” Jessie shrugged as she walked around the couch and into the living room.

She plopped down in a chair under a bay window. It looked out over the city and had a pretty spectacular view of the mountains. Her dad had secured this place for her after he’d gotten transferred to Washington D.C. He’d wanted to make sure Jessie lived in a decent area of town before he left, and he was even paying her rent for a year. Just in case, he had said. It wasn’t necessary, Jessie had a job, but she was the only girl in a family full of boys, so her father was a little overprotective. And since he had a prestigious, well-paying job for the government, thanks to his recent promotion, he also had enough extra income to do things like that for her. He wouldn’t be happy if he ever found out how careless she had been the other night.