It's Just Lola (7 page)

The days passed in a haze of happiness for Lola.  She and Rudolfo shared many glasses of guava brandy, and soon confessed their love to each other.  She quickly learned that even when there were men in the distillery over the siesta time, they paid no attention to her movements. 

One day she noticed that Rudolfo was distracted.  He didn
’
t gaze soulfully into her eyes, or even answer when she spoke to him.
“What
’
s the matter?  Is something wrong in the distillery?  Did you get bad news from your family?”

“No.  It
’
s nothing like that.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure I can talk to you about it.  I know you say you love me, but…”

Lola pleaded for many minutes and promised not to get angry or upset, before Rudolfo reluctantly agreed to tell her what worried him.

“I love you just the way you are, but I
’
m worried.  What if your love is the love of a little girl playing with dolls?  How can I be sure you can love me with the love of a woman?”

“
What does size have
to do with
it?
  I
’
m almost fourteen years old.”

“That’s what worries me.  Fourteen is
still
very young.  I
’
m not playing games.  I want to marry a woman who can be a true wife—not a little girl playing at love.”

How could he doubt her?  How could he think she was just playing?  She hadn’t played with her dolls for ages, even though they still sat on her bed during the day.  “Of course I love you as a woman loves a man.  I wish us to be wed, and I thought that was your wish as well.”

“I do love you
, but my
doubts keep me awake at night.  I want to ask your father for your hand, but if you
’
re not yet a woman…
”  He took a breath before plunging into the next sentence.
 
“
It would be a mistake to trap you into a commitment before you
’
re mature enough to know your own mind.
 
Dearest Lola, I
’
ve tried to dispel my doubts but I can’t.  You
’
re the only one who can erase them and put me at ease.  You must show me that you can love me as a wife loves a husband.”

“How could you even suggest such a thing?  If you love me you wouldn
’
t want my virtue and reputation to be ruined!”

Rudolfo gave a short laugh.  “Strictly speaking, we have already lain together.”

Lola
gasped
in shock.  “You know we didn’t… I mean you
know
nothing…”  She was so hurt and confused that she couldn’t even think the words she should be saying.

“Do you really think anyone would believe that?  Your father, for instance?”

Lola was furious.  She stomped out of his apartment and ran to the house with tears streaming down her face. 

Rosa opened the door for the tearful girl.  Lola forestalled her questions by saying she had a sick headache from the heat.  She needed to lie down for a bit with a cool cloth on her head—and could Rosa please tell Pilar that she would not be coming down for the evening meal.

Lola lay on her bed feeling very sorry for herself.  It did not take long for her to be consumed by fear that she
’
d lost Rudolfo forever.  She
’
d never felt more alone and forlorn.  By evening Lola had convinced herself that Rudolfo’s request was reasonable.  He deserved to go into a marriage without any doubts. 
Since they were to be wed soon anyway, what harm could it do?
 

The next morning Lola was startled to find Rudolfo in her office when she arrived.  He shut the door behind her, and apologized with such an expression of
desolation
that even if Lola hadn
’
t forgiven him the night before, she would have done so immediately when she saw how sorry he was.

“There
’
s nothing to forgive,” she
said,
throwing herself into his arms.  “You have every right to know that I
’
m truly a woman before you ask for my hand.”  She gave him a kiss.
 
“As much as I
’
d like to show you how sincere I am right this very minute,” she said, “we both have work to do.  You must get out to the fields before Papa thinks you
’
re not doing your job.” He nodded and released her, promising to be back for lunch and a very special siesta time.  Lola gave him a playful shove out the door.
 
Her hands were shaking with fear and anticipation
as she pulled the ledger books out of the drawers
.  It took all of her will and concentration to get through the morning.  When the whistle blew releasing the workers for the midday break,
she
thought she
’
d never heard a more beautiful sound. 

Lola was trembling all over by the time she mounted the stairs to Rudolfo’s apartment.  She had only the vaguest idea of what to expect.

“What if something happens?” she asked with trembling lips.

“Of course something will happen, dearest,” Rudolfo reassured her.  “Something wonderful will happen between two people in love.”

She shook her head.  That wasn’t what she meant, but she had trouble saying what was on her mind.  “I mean something else.”  Rudolfo seemed unable or unwilling to understand her meaning.  Finally she put her lips very near his ear and whispered fearfully, “I mean isn’t this how… what if we…maybe…”  She just couldn’t choke out the words.  She took a deep breath. 
Ignoring the heat in her cheeks, she closed
her eyes tightly
and
whispered, “Baby
.
”

Rudolfo laughed and hugged her tightly to him.  Then he swept her up and walked over to the bed with her in his arms.  “Now what would be so terrible about that?  Your father would
have
to consent to our marriage—and sooner rather than later.”

Thus reassured, Lola allowed herself to be comforted and then tenderly instructed and initiated into the intimacies of lovemaking.

“It
’
ll get better as you lose your fear,” he promised, kissing her neck and caressing her cheek as he lovingly brushed her hair.  She was still very nervous as she prepared to return to work.  Later that evening she examined herself closely in her mirror.  Yes, there was a difference
; t
hat was definitely the face of a woman fulfilled.  She smiled at her reflection, surprised no one else had noticed. 

The days passed once again in a routine of idyllic love during siesta time.  She grew to appreciate Rudolfo’s attentions more and more.  It was hard to act properly formal when their paths met in front of other people at the distillery.  The hardest part was
the need
to keep their love a closely guarded secret from everyone, when she wanted to shout it from the rooftop.  For once she was grateful for the new distance between herself and Enriqueta.  It still saddened her to sit across from Enriqueta at meals, but at least it simplified the secret-keeping. 

Every evening was depressingly similar.  Jacoba spent most of the dinner hour complaining about the servants and how hard it was to make them do their jobs and how difficult it was to run the household on so little money.  Her father had long since stopped arguing that she had no need for money.  It never satisfied Jacoba that she only needed to ask for something, and her husband would get it for her—she wanted the cash.
 
Jacoba should know better.  Women managed the servants and the children; the men managed the money.  That was the natural way of things.  Once her father had stopped arguing, he stopped listening and merely drank more with his meals. 
When
the meal was over
,
he would go into his library
to
smoke and drink until he went to bed.

The unhappy house didn
’
t even feel like home anymore.  Pilar never smiled and Rosa looked thin and tired.  Now that Enriqueta had grown so distant, the only thing that made life worth living was Rudolfo.  Lola’s sadness melted away and a smile lit her face as she thought of Rudolfo again.  He was so happy
with their new love
. 

As the days grew into
weeks,
Lola began to ask Rudolfo when he was going to ask her father for her hand.  Every time she
asked,
he had the same answer.

“I
’
m waiting for the exact right moment.  You know how your father can be a bit volatile at times.  I
’
m waiting for a moment when he
’
s particularly pleased with me.
 
Don’t worry, Lola, my love, it
’
ll be soon, I promise.”  He held her close and told her how much he loved her.  Very soon now Rudolfo would take her away from this house that no longer held any joy or happiness.

~ ~ ~

“Lola, may I come in?” 
Enriqueta was standing in the doorway. 

Lola looked up from the tablecloth she was edging and
ran to her sister and hugged her.  “I’ve missed you so much.”
She grabbed Enriqueta’s hand and pulled her toward the wicker settee on the verandah.   She wanted to tell Enriqueta all about what was happening with Rudolfo, but she could see that Enriqueta had something to say, so she contented herself with holding her hand and trying to look attentive.

“I know I’ve been a horrid sister these past months, but I had reasons.  I can’t tell you about it yet, but you
’
ll find out everything this ev
ening.  Can you promise not to
pest
er
me for one more day?”

Lola nodded.  She
’
d promise anything if it meant having her sister as a friend once more.  Anyway, it was just for today—however long that might seem to her.

“In the meantime, I need your help.  Something wonderful is going to happen this evening, and I want to look my best.  I want to wear my pink dress to dinner, but it
’
s too small for me and I need you to help me let it out.”  Enriqueta’s eyes were shining, and her face almost glowed as she spoke.

“What’s going to happen?”

“That’s the surprise—and the reason I
’
ve been so secretive.  It
’
s been very hard, and I
do
want to tell you, but I promised not to say anything until this evening.  I
’
m so excited!”  Enriqueta jumped up and pulled Lola with her.  “Come and help me with my dress.  Please, please.  Just
be patient
for a few more hours, and you
’
ll see.” 

Lola soon caught Enriqueta’s excitement, and the two girls busied themselves discussing the best way to let out the pink dress.  They giggled happily as they bumped heads and hands while trying to work on the same dress at the same time.  Lola was ecstatic to have Enriqueta to brighten her life again.  She decided that since Enriqueta was so excited about the evening event she
’
d wait to share her special news tomorrow.  This must be Enriqueta’s day.

“Lola
.
” The laughter died on the girls’ lips as Jacoba’s strident voice was followed by the sound of her approaching footsteps.  “Have you finished that tablecloth yet?” 

“No, I
’
ve been helping Enriqueta
.
” Lola
heard her own
voice
quiver with fear
as Jacoba appeared in the doorway. 
T
o her surprise
,
Jacoba did not answer.  Instead, she stared at Enriqueta standing in the pink dress with the side seams ripped open.  Jacoba’s mouth opened; she started to speak, but stopped and clamped her mouth shut, pursing her lips together.  Her eyes widened and then narrowed as she spun on her heel, and the girls heard her footsteps receding.

“What was that all about?” asked Lola.

“I don’t know,
but p
lease promise you
’
ll stay with me every minute today.”  Enriqueta
’s
face no
w appeared pale and frightened.
  The girls were subdued as they went back to work.  It was almost time to dine before they were satisfied.

“How do I look?”
Enriqueta had regained the excited flush, and the pink dress was the perfect complement to her dark hair and creamy white complexion. 

“
Lovely
.
”

“Señorita Enriqueta
.
”  The two girls looked up in surprise to see Rosa at the door.  “Your father wants to see you in the library—
now
.”