Read It's. Nice. Outside. Online

Authors: Jim Kokoris

It's. Nice. Outside. (10 page)

As she approached the bar, I noticed she was wearing her trademark evil elf attire: black hoodie and tight, black jeans, the uniform she had been adopted some years ago upon moving to New York.

I stood when I heard her laugh. “I'll have what's she's having,” she said, pointing to Red Bear, who was sitting submerged in a barstool, a glass of wine in front of her. The bartender, a nice young kid who had eagerly played along, smiled.

“She's having a Chardonnay,” he said.

“Perfect.” She turned as I approached. “Hey, Daddy-o!”

“Hi, sweetie.” I hugged her hard and gave her forehead a peck. “How was your trip?”

“Great. Hey, my first trip to Knoxville.” She glanced around the bar, which was standard glass, brass, and fern trees. It was empty, with the exception of two overweight men in the corner, one of whom had his head on a table. “And I have to tell you,” she said in a stage whisper, “so far, I'm
impressed
.”

“Where's your things?”

“I left them at the front desk.” She pulled off her sweatshirt to reveal a black T-shirt, and we both sat down. “He asleep?”

“Yes.”

“Is it all right leaving him?”

“He's fine.”

When the bartender brought Mindy her drink, I reached over and took Red Bear's glass.

“So, have you talked to anyone, your mom? Karen?”

Mindy drained her wine in three gulps, then motioned to the bartender for another.

“Slow down,” I said.

“The wedding's off,” she said, wiping the corners of her mouth.

There was no way I'd heard her right. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Just don't flip out on me. I can't have anyone else flip out on me. I'm just the messenger. I know nothing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The wedding is off, Dad. It's off. They broke it off. I just got off the phone with Mom. She told me. Then Aunt Sally told me. Then Uncle Sal told me. Then all of the cousins called me. At the airport and in the cab, everyone kept calling.”

“What?”

“It's off.”

I squeezed my eyes closed. “Okay, all right, I need you to slow down. Let me understand this: there's no wedding? They're not getting married?”

“There's no wedding, and they're not getting married. That's the sum total of what I know. Don't flip out.”

“I'm not flipping … I'm just … Good God! Poor Karen! Who called it off? Did he call it off? Did he?”

“No. She did.”

“What happened? Why?”

“He was screwing around. They caught him.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“They caught him having sex.”

“What? You mean he was having sex with someone?”

“No, Dad, they caught him masturbating.”

“I can't believe this. Where? In Charleston? Who was he screwing? How did they catch him?”

“I don't know the details. It's a very fluid situation. There's something about a pool, though, speaking of fluid. They caught him doing it in the pool.”

“A pool? What do you mean, he was screwing in a pool? They caught him screwing in a pool four days before the wedding?”

“In his defense, it was five days before the wedding.”

I was a lot of things at that exact moment: stunned, confused, angry, and yes, maybe a little, just a little, relieved. “How's she doing, Karen, how's she doing?”

“I don't know. She's the only one who didn't call me.”

“A pool. I can't believe this.” I felt around in my pockets for my phone. “I have to call her.”

Mindy picked up her glass. “Call tomorrow. Mom said they were going to meet with Roger's family. Have a Karen–Roger summit. You know, just for the record, I never liked that guy.”

I patted myself down. “I need your phone. I left mine in the room.”

Mindy opened her purse and handed me hers. “Here, but she'll see my number and won't answer.”

“She'll answer. What's her number?”

“I don't know her number.”

“You don't know your sister's number?”

“You don't know your daughter's number?”

“I have it on speed dial.” I was having trouble processing this news; the wedding had been planned for months. The inn, the caterer, the guests: who was calling them? What and how were we going to tell them? My cousins had booked flights months ago. I had rented a tuxedo, and it was being delivered to my room. Then I thought of Karen again. What must she be going through? How was she handling this?

“What are we going to do now?”

“I know exactly what to do,” Mindy said.

“What?”

“Eat,” she said. “I. Starving.”

*   *   *

I called Mary while Mindy finished her barbeque chicken quesadillas.

“Hi,” I said.

“I can't talk.”

“What's going on?”

“I can't talk.”

“Tell me what's going on.”

“I can't talk.”

“Is Karen there?”

“I can't talk.”

When I heard silence on the other end, I handed Mindy back her phone.

“What she say?”

“I don't think she could talk.” I stared straight ahead at the necks of bourbon and scotch bottles lined up on the back of the bar. “Poor Karen.”

“She'll survive.”

“That's all you have to say? She's your sister.”

“I think we've talked, like, twice in the past year.”

“That's ridiculous. You live ten minutes from each other. You know, she scheduled this wedding around your schedule, she planned it this way. She waited until the show was off.”

“I know that, Dad. I know that because everyone keeps reminding me of that fact. I'm surprised the invitation didn't mention that:
Planned around Mindy's schedule
.” She pushed her plate away. “God, I'm a pig. I can't believe I just ate that.”

The bartender walked over and cleared her things. He was tall and lanky and like every male under thirty, sporting a bit of stubble. He stared hard at Mindy for a moment, smiled, and asked, “Excuse me, but are you Mindy Nichols?”

Surprisingly, she blushed and looked down at the bar. “Thanks, but no. But I mean, I wish. She's amazing,” she mumbled.

The man stood there for another second, trying to sift through her response, then smiled again and drifted away.

“That, like, never happens to me,” she said.

“He knows who you are.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Anyway, I don't want to have the ‘how do they get your ass to inflate like that?' conversation right now.”

“You didn't have to be rude. He's a nice guy.”

“Nice guy.” Mindy rolled her eyes. “Just stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop trying to fix me up with some guy, okay? It drives me nuts.” She grabbed her purse, rummaged through it, then slapped a black American Express card down on the bar.

“I wasn't trying to do anything, but okay, I'll shut up.” I picked up the card and handed it back to her and placed my own pedestrian green American Express card down.

“Do you have my key?”

“I've got it here somewhere.” I began emptying my pockets. “I know I have it.”

“Oh, fuck!” Mindy jumped off her barstool. “Ethan! Stay over there. I'm coming! Stay right there!”

“What?” I looked up just as Ethan, in bare feet and boxers, darted across the lobby toward the bar. With his knees locked and his long skinny arms flapping about, he looked like an electrocuted stick figure.

“Mindy! Here! Mindy! Here! Hello! Hello! Hello!”

“Oh, Jesus!” I bolted from my chair, but Mindy reached him first, covering him with a hug.

“Hi, buddy! Let's get back to your room, okay?”

“Where. Mom. Be?”

“She's not here. Come on. Let's go. Dad, give me the key.”

“Cold. Out.”

“That's because you're almost naked.”

“Yes. Ma'am!” He laughed and kept hugging her hard, his face beaming. He loved Mindy.

I stroked his hair and squeezed his shoulder. I was trembling. I had no idea how he had gotten out. “The door mustn't have closed all the way, or he figured out how to open it or something. He's never done this before. Never!”

“He's fine,” Mindy said.

Ethan, one arm still around Mindy, reached out and pulled me close. The three of us were now in a small, tight circle. I suddenly feared where things were heading.

“Oh God,” I said.

“What?”

In an off-key voice, Ethan began, “Family. Family! Family!
U!
…”

Mindy's eyes grew wide. “Not the family fight song, please. I'm tired.”

“Sing!” Ethan yelled.

“Fuck!”

“Just do it,” I said. “He won't stop until we do.”

“Dad, I can't, come on! Not here.”

“You're an actress, act,” I whispered between gritted teeth. “No one's here anyway.”

“Dad!”

“Sing!”

“Do it,” I said. “Please.”

So we held hands and sang, “Family! Family! Family! U.S.A!” Over Mindy's shoulder, I saw the bartender, frozen in the act of wiping a glass, his mouth agape.

“There's still only one verse, right?” Mindy asked when we were finished.

“Yes.”

“Good, let's beat it.”

I handed Mindy her key. “I shouldn't have left him,” I said again.

“Everything's fine.” She lead Ethan away. “Just get Red Bear. She's probably going to hit on that bartender.”

*   *   *

After I put Ethan back to bed, I went into the bathroom, and hit speed dial. Mary surprised me by answering.

“Oh God,” she said.

“What happened? Is it true? What is going on?”

“It's off. She's not going through with it. She caught him. He was cheating. Apparently, she's suspected for a while, and then she caught him.”

“Unbelievable!”

“She caught him in the pool with Penny.”

“Jesus, not Penny!” I said even though, at that exact moment, I hadn't a clue who Penny was. Then, “The pool?”

“The pool.”

My mind began to reel. “Indoor or outdoor?”

“What
difference
does it make, John? My God!”

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't think straight. Just calm down.”

“Don't tell me to calm down! Do you know what I've been through, any idea?”

“How is she? Can I talk to her? Is she there?”

“She's in her room. She doesn't want to talk to anyone.”

“I can't believe this. What do we do now?”

“Nothing.”

“We have to do something. Start calling people.”

“Sally and Sal are taking care of everything. Calling everyone. The caterer, the band. We have to pay for some rooms, most of the rooms, probably.”

“God, I cannot believe this.”

“We were lucky that this happened now, not two days from now. No one's really here but us. But we're going to have to pay for the rooms.”

I was silent, overwhelmed.

“Hello? John? Am I keeping you from something?”

“I don't know what to say.” I paused. “Okay, I know I must know her, but who is this Penny person again?”

“A bridesmaid. A sorority sister.”

“I don't know her.”

“You know her.”

“Well, I don't remember her,” I said.

“I never liked him. From the start. Never trusted him, that jaw of his. His family, they all have that same damn jaw.”

“Let's try to focus on Karen.”

“If you cared so much about Karen, you'd be here by now. You would have taken a plane out here, instead of … of … walking.”

“Planes don't work with him, you know that.” I stood and tried to pace, but the bathroom was too small, so I had to sit back down on top of the toilet. “Well, Mindy's here. With me. She just got here.”

“I know that.”

“We'll be there either tomorrow or the day after. You're going to stay and wait for us, right?”

“I guess. We paid for the rooms. We took over the whole inn. It's empty, the whole thing.”

“Did Roger and his family go home?”

“I don't know and I don't care. Beth was very unapologetic. She implied that Karen was overreacting.”

“What did Everett say?”

“Everett? Not a word. He just sat there like some beaten-down old dog. That whole family is so dysfunctional.”

I paused. I had found myself in the middle of an infidelity mine field, and thought it would be best to slow down. “This has got to be tough on them too.”

“Please. Do
not
defend them.”

“I'm not defending them. But it's not Everett's fault. He didn't screw anyone in the pool. His son did.”

“You should have been here for this,” Mary said. “She's your daughter too.”

“I'm sorry this happened this way. I'm sorry.”

She was quiet. I searched for something positive to say.

“At least Ethan had a good day,” I said.

“For once, I don't want to talk about Ethan Nichols. We have other children.”

“You're right, I know, you're right.” I paused, helpless. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No. I'll see you when you get here.”

“Are you sure you're going to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Well, good night then,” I said.

And as expected, she hung up.

 

5

The next morning, invigorated by a full eighteen minutes of teeth-grinding sleep, I immediately launched into a litany of worries about Karen as soon as we were inside the van. I hadn't gotten far before Mindy cut me short.

“Can we not talk about this?” She was slumped down in the passenger seat, juggling a massive cup of Starbucks and a copy of
USA Today
, compliments of the Knoxville Marriott.

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