It's Only Temporary: The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive (23 page)

My strongest sensation, the first night Elisa and I sat staring into the penetrating eyes of our newborn daughter, was that my previous life – the one that had haunted me for so long, but that I’d finally made peace with – was about to be replaced by a far more interesting one.

“It’s a new beginning,” I said to Elisa.

After all, I’m forty-six years old. I’ve finally reached an age where it could be considered appropriate for me to be thinking about the yoke of mortality tightening around my neck. Instead, I feel like I’m starting over. Again.

“It’s got me bristling with excitement,” I told her. “I’m bursting with joy.”

After all I’ve been through, it feels like I’ve just begun.

The most common question I’m asked when I mention the fact that I’ve written a book is, “How long did it take?”

There’s no simple answer to this. The books I’ve written haven’t been done in consistent, workaday fashion. Many of the stories contained within my books have been written, honed, read aloud in various venues, honed yet again, and then set aside while other stories were worked on, or other projects engaged in. Then, of course, trying to fit the stories together – either into a collection, or into a traditional narrative – requires further adjustments to each, as well as the addition of more material still. Once a publisher is in place and deadlines set, then the more consistent daily work begins. Which is all to say that this book has been several years in the making – meaning I’ve imposed myself on a large number of people along the way.

As with my first book, I owe a large debt of gratitude to the people at the Naked Angels theater company, both in New York and Los Angeles. They’ve been tremendously supportive of me as a writer, and have always allowed me great privileges when I felt I needed a roomful of ears upon which to test material. In particular I’d like to thank Liz Benjamin, Joe Danisi, Stephanie Cannon, Jen DiMartino, Kim Mercado, Shark, and Kathleen Dennehy for the work they’ve done on the Tuesday Nights at 9 series.

In a similar vein, Beth Lapides, Greg Miller, and everyone associated with Say the Word in Los Angeles have generously offered me encouragement and a fantastic forum to make use of and enjoy.

Many thanks to Geoffrey Kloske and Jake Morrissey, of Riverhead Books, for their patient guidance through the publication of the original 2008 hardcover edition of this book. Also lending crucial support there were Lisa Amoroso, Michael Barson, Sarah Bowlin, and any number of others I may have been merely introduced to, or never met at all.

I have been lucky to land within the sphere of influence of David Black, a literary agent of distinction, a man of wisdom and honor, and a calming force on some of my most frantic days. He’s surrounded himself with a roster of equally fine co-agents in Joy Tutela and Susan Raihofer, all ably assisted by Gary Morris and David Larabell. Antonella Iannarino has guided me toward the publication of this new edition with great energy and generosity.

Perhaps the most put-upon of all are the friends, co-workers, cohorts and acquaintances who read, listened, read again, and listened more until they couldn’t put up with it any longer – all without a penny’s compensation. I’m going to list them in no particular order, though one deserves special distinction. This book would not be in published form if it weren’t for the generosity and friendship of Stephen Glass. He is a good friend, a terrific writer, and a good man.

Also aiding and abetting, in one way or another (and with some undoubtedly left out and angry): Lisa Kogan, friend and editor extraordinaire; Jackie Reingold; Julie Hilden; Gus Rogerson; Paul McCrane; David Eigenberg; Barry Singer; Peter Mehlman; Dan Baron; Daniel Reitz; Lenore Zerman; Kay Liberman; Geoff Ashley; Jerome Butler; Robert Zimmerman; V. Morrison; Amy Tan; Neil Simon; Meg Wolitzer; Meghan Daum; Lance Armstrong; Lewis Black; Shae Kennedy; Liz Tuccillo; Tony Kushner; David Duchovny; Sara Jessica Parker; P. Roth; Lisa Kussell; Stella Connell; Adam Somers and PEN USA; Enid Handler; Murry Handler; Robert Rosenheck; Cindy Capobianco; Lowell Handler; Jane Smith; Lillian Handler; Jules Feiffer; Jenny Allen; Tom Kapinos; Lou Fusaro; Matthew Blank, Bob Greenblatt, Peter Kellner, Faye Katz, and Showtime Networks; and of course, the incomparable Elisa Atti (man, oh, man she’s good at a lot of things).

EVAN HANDLER is an actor, author, screenwriter, and journalist who is probably best known as one of the stars of the HBO television show, and films, “Sex and the City,” as well as for his current role as Charlie Runkle, best friend to David Duchovny’s Hank Moody, on Showtime’s hit comedy “Californication” (Season 6 airing January 2013). Evan’s past film and TV credits include leading and featured roles in Ron Howard’s film “Ransom,” the early ’80′s box office smash “Taps,” Oliver Stone’s “Natural Born Killers,” Aaron Sorkin’s “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” and “The West Wing”; the ABC TV movie “The Three Stooges,” and the sit-com “It’s Like, You Know…,” as well as memorable guest appearances on “Lost,” “Six Feet Under,” “Law and Order,” and “Friends”.

Prior to his work in film and television Evan played leading roles in seven Broadway productions – all prior to his thirtieth birthday. Among them were “Six Degrees of Separation”; “I Hate Hamlet”; “Brighton Beach Memoirs”; “Broadway Bound”; and “Master Harold…and the boys”. Off-Broadway, Evan appeared in two Donald Margulies world premieres, “Found a Peanut” (NYSF/Public Theater), and “What’s Wrong with this Picture?” (Manhattan Theater Club); “SLAM” in EST’s Marathon ’84; and Jacquelyn Reingold’s “String Fever,” also at EST.

In addition to his acting appearances, Evan is the author of two books.
Time on Fire: My Comedy of Terrors
, is Handler’s critically acclaimed debut memoir, detailing his unlikely recovery from leukemia, and his escape from the clutches of those supposedly devoted to its treatment. His most recent book,
It’s Only Temporary: The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive
describes the years since the illness, and the surprisingly long and complex journey toward long-delayed gratitude. A regular featured contributor to the Huffington Post, more information about Evan and his books is available at EvanHandler.com.

“In
It’s Only Temporary
, Evan Handler confronts the ambiguities of life backward, forward, and in between. With hilarious honesty he reflects on the realization that we can start over again. It is a heartfelt book for all of us who are getting younger and older at the same time.”

—Amy Tan, author of
The Joy Luck Club
,
The Bonesetter’s Daughter
,

and
The Kitchen God’s Wife

“In a series of wonderful essays, Evan Handler gives himself up to us – warts and all. To our amusement and bemusement we share in his emotional growth as he struggles to mature. I not only laughed along with him but felt that I too had grown a little along the way. Who could ask for more?”

—Lewis Black, comedian, Daily Show correspondent, and author of
Nothing’s Sacred

“Evan Handler’s new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.”

—Neil Simon, Pulitzer Prize winning playwright/screenwriter of
Lost In Yonkers
,
The Odd Couple
,
Brighton Beach Memoirs
, and
The Goodbye Girl

“Evan Handler is not only a fine actor, he’s a damn good writer. It’s Only Temporary is wise and funny and as righteously indignant as it is endearingly self-effacing. In what may be a literary first, the book actually left me wanting more.”

—Meghan Daum, author of
My Misspent Youth
and
The Quality of Life Report

“Evan Handler’s unsparingly honest stories about life, love, and his own shortcomings are hilarious to read and oh, so easy (and fun!) to relate to. By the end you will be left with the surprising but unmistakable feelings of hope and redemption. It’s Only Temporary is truly an inspiration, particularly for anyone who’s out there looking for love.”

—Liz Tuccillo, co-author of
He’s Just Not That Into You

“Evan Handler is a man who’s looked into the abyss and laughed. His book, It’s Only Temporary, made me laugh along with him. He covers love, lust, showbiz, triumph, and despair – and he manages to be both funny and inspiring about all of it. It’s an important book that I think can help to spread goodness around the world. Something we desperately need
.
”

—Lance Armstrong,; Founder, The Lance Armstrong Foundation