Ivy Lane: Autumn: (11 page)

‘Well,’ I said, choosing my words very carefully. I’d fallen foul of her cunning ways before by saying the wrong thing. I was determined not to get talked into anything. ‘Put on more events.’ Note, I did not say
We could.
It was an instruction, not an offer of help.

It seemed to have worked.

‘Go on,’ she nodded, her bat mask quivering with enthusiasm.

‘Er,’ I racked my brains. I knew what worked in schools but this was a much older age group. ‘A bonfire party, too late for this year, of course, but you could have a Guy Fawkes competition. Or what about summer garden party? And a Christmas Fayre is a must, I’d say.’

‘And you’d like those things, would you?’ She was still nodding.

‘Oh yes, absolutely!’ I confirmed, risking a second sip of the punch.

‘Grand!’ She threw an arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. ‘We were looking for a bit of help on the committee. Someone younger. That’s grand!’

My shoulders sagged. She’d done it again. Christine bustled off, presumably to give the good news to Peter. Gemma took her place at my side.

‘Did you see what just happened?’ I looked at her gloomily.

‘Yes, but never mind that, have you planted the note?’ she hissed.

‘Yes and he’s picked it up!’ I hissed back.

‘Has he?’ She frowned and then her face cleared and she shrugged. ‘Must have been when I was in the kitchen. Well, go on then.’ She jerked her head at the door. ‘Go and drape yourself over the chaise longue, he can’t be much longer.’

‘OK.’ I knocked back the last of the punch. ‘Wish me luck.’

‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,’ she whispered.

We both looked at her tummy and then back at each other and laughed.

Suddenly the sight of her bump tugged sharply at my heart strings and my eyes pricked with tears. I felt a vision from my past beginning to form and I threw my arms round Gemma and shut my eyes tight to blink it away.

It’s no use worrying about the life you can’t have . . .

‘You’re going to be fine, Tilly,’ murmured Gemma close to my ear.

I pulled away, squared my shoulder and gave her a bright smile. ‘Right. I’m off. Definitely.’

And with a backward glance at Aidan, I set off into the night for a second time.

Nerves steered me towards the loos again first and then I skirted the pavilion and walked to the road. This time, without the panic to reach the shed ahead of Aidan, I took the walk at a much more ladylike pace. The downside to this was that my brain had time to take in my surroundings: it was cold and silent, the only sound being the echo of my boots, clip-clopping eerily along the tarmac and the occasional rustle of the trees. I shivered and walked faster. What this outfit lacked, I realized, was a swirling purple cape to keep me warm. The sooner I could light those candles and wrap myself in my picnic blanket the better. I glanced behind me for any sign of Aidan, but the road was empty.

Still chatting, no doubt. I smiled to myself. It was a pity he hadn’t noticed me leave really, then he could have made his excuses and escaped immediately. Oh well, he would join me soon, I was sure.

I’d waited so long for this moment and I couldn’t wait to feel his arms around me again away from the well-meaning but curious eyes of the Ivy Lane community. I was thrilled with myself for taking the lead and concocting this plan. There was something exciting about a secret rendezvous and no better way to show Aidan that he was special to me. My heart was already fluttering in anticipation.

I stepped off the road and onto the grass path that lead along plot sixteen to my shed. The sound of a stick cracking in the trees beyond my plot made me yelp with shock and I pressed a hand to my mouth.

For goodness sake, Tilly, it was probably just a fox.

I forced myself to breathe calmly but then instantly stopped in my tracks and stared ahead. There was an orange glow shining through my shed window. I had definitely not left a candle burning; I distinctly remember being in the dark. Which meant that someone else must have done it.

Oh my God. This was so spooky. My entire body was trembling and bristling with goose pimples. I had the urge to run. But which direction, towards the shed or away?

A nervous laugh bubbled up through me and I shook my head. All this Hallowe’en nonsense was making me overreact. It must be Aidan in the shed! He must have followed me immediately after all and arrived while I was at the toilets.

‘Phew,’ I said aloud and darted to the shed. The key on its string banged against my chest as I ran. Oh, how had he opened the door? I tutted at myself. I had obviously forgotten to lock it.

I paused at the door to compose myself, dabbed under my eyes to remove any smudged make-up and ran my fingers through the ends of my hair to smooth it over my shoulders. A smile spread across my face as my fingers wrapped around the door handle.

This is it. A new chapter. Go for it, Tilly Parker.

The smile, which was probably more accurately a radiant beam, was still going strong as I pushed my way into the shed with a triumphant, ‘Ta dah!’

The shed was empty. My face crumpled in confusion as I turned towards the source of the light. At the far end of the shed three pumpkin lanterns adorned my little table, but the sides facing outwards weren’t carved. With a pounding heart I twisted each one round. The first had simply the letter ‘I’ carved out of it, the second a loveheart and the third the word ‘you’.

I love you.

I stared at the message, my brain whirring and my heart thumping. Aidan loved me? This was all moving very fast, surely we weren’t at the stage for this sort of declaration? It was an incredibly romantic thing to do, not to mention complicated to organize. And regardless of whether the timing was right or not, I was truly touched by the effort he had gone to.

Maybe I was reading too much into it. Perhaps I wasn’t supposed to take it too literally. Perhaps that had just been easier than carving ‘would you like to go for dinner?’ Of course, that would be it, I chuckled to myself with relief. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed a piece of folded paper. A note. I picked it up. It was the note I’d left for Aidan. But where was he?

I was still holding it between my fingers when the door behind me opened softly.

I whirled round, my pulse racing to see Aidan with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling with humour.

‘My hat’s too tall to get under the doorframe.’ He took off his pointed hat, stepped through the doorway and in two strides was standing right in front of me.

‘Thank goodness, I was wondering where you’d got to.’

He chuckled. ‘Well, the bad news is, you didn’t win the fancy dress competition.’

‘Ah,’ I pouted. ‘Who did?’

‘Gemma. She looked so jolly and pumpkin-like, I had to give it to her. But I did choose your pumpkin as the winner. That Moroccan design was incredible.’

‘Hayley’s. Not mine.’ I grinned. ‘I wanted her to win.’

‘Oh!’ His face softened. ‘You’re all heart.’

We stared at each other and I held my breath, savouring the nearness of him, his delicious smell, his eyes, his rumpled hair. It was all I could do not to jump into his arms.

‘Hello, you,’ he murmured. His eyes flicked to the pumpkins briefly and then back to me and I almost said something there and then, but the electricity between us was flying and I couldn’t bring myself to break the spell.

His brown eyes gazed at me as he lowered his head to mine. Suddenly I couldn’t wait any longer and I let the note flutter to the floor. I plunged my hands into his hair and brought his lips to meet mine. I kissed him hard with a newly found confidence and immediately he returned my kiss, looping his arms around the small of my back, lifting me, pulling me into him so that our bodies were practically one. Still wanting to be closer, I guided him backwards, towards the side of the shed until he was leaning against the wall. I pressed myself against him until I heard him groan with pleasure.

Breathless, my body on fire with desire, I pulled back, a smile playing on my lips.

‘Don’t look now,’ I murmured, ‘but I think I just made your toes curl!’

We giggled as he wriggled his silver slippers.

‘Thank you for that welcome,’ he said with a soft laugh.

I think I’d shocked him. I’d shocked myself, come to that.

‘Thank you for the message,’ I whispered, grazing my lips against his stubble as I planted a row of kisses along his jawline.

‘What message?’ He slipped my hat off and brushed my hair off my face with his fingers.

‘The pumpkins.’ I pressed my lips together in a cheeky smile. ‘Rather forward, I thought.’

A cloud passed over his face and his hands slipped from my hair. He straightened up and I stepped back from him. The hairs on the back of my neck tingled and I instinctively knew I’d said the wrong thing.

‘Nothing to do with me.’ He frowned. ‘In fact, I was thinking the same thing. I assumed you had carved them.’

I swallowed. Someone else had been in my shed. Who? Hayley, Mia or Gemma? But they would have told me, besides which they couldn’t have brought any extra pumpkins here without me knowing. Which only left . . . My heart sank. It had to be Charlie.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. ‘Look, it’ll just be Charlie, messing about . . .’

Aidan fixed me with a stare. ‘Charlie? That figures.’

‘But you got my note. Look!’ I picked up the piece of paper from the floor and handed it to him.

‘Meet me in the shed, plot sixteen B, kiss,’ he read. He frowned at me and shrugged. ‘I’ve never seen this.’

The humour had completely disappeared from his face and the kiss we had shared already seemed like a lifetime ago.

‘So why come to the shed?’ I asked.

‘Gemma sent me. She said you’d get hypothermia if I didn’t hurry up. I didn’t even know you were waiting for me.’

I placed my hands on his chest tentatively, desperate to undo the damage of the last few seconds. ‘Look,’ I said softly, ‘there’s just been a bit of a mix-up, that’s all. We’re both here now so—’

‘It’s always Charlie, isn’t it?’ he said sadly, peeling my hands from him. Our fingers were loosely entwined but I didn’t dare tighten my grasp.

‘I told you there’s nothing between him and me. Don’t you believe me?’

‘“It’s complicated” – that’s what you said to me last time we met.’ He sighed and shook his head. ‘Maybe if your life is so complicated, there’s just no room in it for me.’ He folded his arms and looked at his feet.

So this was it. Our love affair, cut short before it even had a chance to grow.

‘Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly,’ I quoted my calendar from weeks ago. His unblinking eyes met mine, desire replaced by disappointment. ‘And you don’t trust me, do you, Aidan?’

I couldn’t bear to hear his response. I darted back out into the night and ran.

My heart didn’t stop racing until I was back in the pavilion. I spotted Gemma, chomping her way through a cake-pop decorated to look like an eyeball.

‘You look shattered,’ I said, pulling her to her feet. ‘Let’s go home.’

Gemma took one look at my face and marched me to the car. Well, she marched, I stumbled with tears blinding my eyes.

We climbed in and as she put the key in the ignition she turned to face me.

‘Not here,’ I said, before she could speak. ‘Just drive.’

Less than five minutes later we pulled up outside my house in Wellington Street.

She turned off the engine. ‘So?’

I gazed at my best friend. Poor Gemma, I bet she was dying to be at home with Mike, putting her feet up in front of the fire. Instead, she was in a car that hadn’t been moving long enough to warm up, forced to have a heart-to-heart with the most depressed witch in Kingsfield.

I let out a big shuddering sigh and filled her in. About the ‘I love you’ pumpkins, the mess-up with the note, the kiss that was so intense that I thought I would faint in his arms, and then the harsh words and the look he gave me that I would never forget.

‘I’m so sorry,’ said Gemma, reaching for my hand. ‘But do you know what? It’s his loss.’

She jumped suddenly. ‘Ooh, baby’s kicking.’

I stared at her bump. ‘May I feel it?’

‘Of course, she laughed. ‘I’d have suggested it before now,’ she said, guiding my hand to her side, ‘but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel.’

The baby moved under my hand. ‘Wow!’ I beamed at Gemma. ‘That’s quite sharp!’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘Tell me about it!’

The car windows were beginning to steam up and she turned the engine back on to de-mist them.

‘I’m scared, you know.’ She turned her blue eyes to me. ‘I’m so much older than I was when I had Mia.’

‘You’re only in your early thirties, that’s young by most people’s standards.’

‘Suppose. But what if there are complications? What if something goes wrong? Do you know, I haven’t even dared buy any baby clothes yet. Me and Mike have been and bought all the equipment, but . . .’ She sighed.

I’d been a terrible friend these past few months, I realized. Too wrapped up in my own problems to pick up on her worries. That was going to change, I decided, however painful it would be to be around her when this baby was due, I would support her every step of the way.

‘I’ll come baby clothes shopping with you,’ I said quietly. ‘I’d like to.’

‘Oh Tilly, thank you. I’d love that!’ She beamed at me. ‘I wanted to ask but I thought you might not want to.’

I kept my hand where it was as the baby continued to push against me. ‘I’m scared too, Gem. Scared it might never happen for me. It seems like a lifetime ago now that I was pregnant. I never got the chance to feel my baby moving like this.’

‘Look,’ she placed her hand over mine, ‘it will happen. You’ve come so far this year. You’ve changed so much since I met you.’

‘Have I? Have I really?’

I gazed out of the window at my rented house. It was exactly two months until New Year’s Eve. Last year, I had just moved in and I spent the night alone, listening to the fireworks and the parties and the celebrations going on around me. Would I have to do that again this year?