Read Jacob Two-Two-'s First Spy Case Online
Authors: Mordecai Richler
Jacob Two-Two-'s First Spy Case (15 page)
Jacob Two-Two reached into his pocket for the list.
CHAPTER 25
hen the school lunch-bell rang at noon the following Monday, the boys of Privilege House dragged themselves unwillingly, their footsteps heavy, into the dining hall. Imagine their surprise when they found they were being served king-size hot dogs, chili burgers garnished with crisp, golden-brown French fries, and, chocolate ice cream for dessert.
“W-w-would anybody c-c-care for second helpings?” asked a mournful Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse.
“I do believe,” said Jacob Two-Two, “that Mickey would like another chili burger.”
“Do you realize how much that costs a pound?” demanded Perfectly Loathsome Leo.
“What did you say?” asked Jacob Two-Two.
“Coming right up,” said Perfectly Loathsome Leo.
Mr. I.M. Greedyguts sat in a corner gulping down a teacup full of potato-peel soup. “Finished,” he said, holding up his cup. “May I have more, please?”
“No,” said Chris.
“Pretty please?”
“No,” said Robby.
“But I'm starving!”
Mickey reached for an eyedropper and squeezed eight more drops into Mr. I.M. Greedyguts' cup
“Don't I get anything else?” asked Mr. I.M. Greedyguts.
“Sure,” said Robby, fetching him a plate on which there rested one soggy French-fried potato.
“I'm still hungry,” whined the no-longer-dreaded Mr. I.M. Greedyguts. “Have a heart, kids.”
Miss Lapointe brought him a mushy, brown lettuce salad.
“What about a dessert?” asked Mr. I.M. Greedyguts.
Jacob Two-Two served him two rock-hard, stale raisins and a glass of lukewarm water.
“But what do you say before you dig in?” cried the boys in unison.
“Oh, don't make me do it, please,” he begged.
“We want to hear it loud and clear,” cried the boys.
“Yummy, yummy, says my tummy,” said I.M. Greedyguts.
Then a trembling Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse asked Jacob Two-Two what the boys wanted for lunch the next day.
“We'll start with ice cream,” said Chris.
“Followed by matzo-ball soup,” said Mickey.
“And lots more ice cream,” said Robby.
“I hope you've written that all down, Perfectly Loathsome Leo,” said Jacob Two-Two.
“I'm a ruined man,” said Perfectly Loathsome Leo.
Then the boys called out, “
THREE CHEERS FOR JACOB TWO-TWO
!”
“
AND CHILD POWER
,” yelled Jacob Two-Two. “
AND MR. DINGLEBAT, MASTER SPY!
”
“
HIP-HIP HOORAY!
”
An elated Jacob Two-Two got home from school that afternoon just in time to see a helicopter land on Mr. Dinglebat's front lawn, and to catch Mr. Dinglebat emerging from his house, wearing an admiral's uniform and carrying a suitcase.
“Are you off on another mission so soon?” asked Jacob Two-Two.
“Why, before we meet again,
amigo
, I will have sipped sweet water in Sunset Beach, California, and watched the sun set in Sweet Water, Alabama. A master spy's work is never done. Now, you tell your associates in
CHILD POWER
how much I look forward to working with them again. And, of course, with you, too, Jacob Two-Two, if not today or tomorrow, then before too long, I hope. See you anon, dear boy.”
“Come home safely, Mr. Dinglebat,” said Jacob Two-Two. “Come home safely, please.”
And he stood there, waving, until the helicopter was no more than a dot in the sky.
P.S.
THE CLAIRVOYANT'S GAMBLE
EXPLAINED, AS PROMISED
Jacob Two-Two phoned Mr. Dinglebat and said, “Hello, can you tell me if Mr. Clair-voy-ant is there, please?”
Then Mr. Dinglebat began to count, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven â”
When Jacob Two-Two interrupted, “Is that you, Mr. Clair-voy-ant?” Mr. Dinglebat continued, “Clubs, spades, hearts â”
“Somebody would like to speak to you,” said Jacob Two-Two.
“Your card,
amigo
,” Mr. Dinglebat told Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse, “is the seven of hearts.”
The second time, Jacob Two-Two had said, “Sorry, but may I speak to Mr. Clair-voy-ant again, please?”
Mr. Dinglebat said, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack â”
“Hello, is that you, Mr. Clair-voy-ant?”
Mr. Dinglebat responded, “Hearts, diamonds, clubs â”
“Somebody wants to talk to you,” said Jacob Two-Two.
Perfectly Loathsome Leo grabbed the phone.
“Your card,
hombre
, is the jack of clubs,” said Mr. Dinglebat.
Other Books in the
Jacob Two-Two series:
Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang
By Mordecai Richler, illustrated by DuÅ¡an PetriÄiÄ
Poor Jacob Two-Two, only two plus two plus two years old and already a prisoner of The Hooded Fang. What had he done to deserve such terrible punishment? Why, the worst crime of all â insulting a grown-up.
Jacob Two-Two and the Dinosaur
By Mordecai Richler, illustrated by DuÅ¡an PetriÄiÄ
When his parents bring a little green lizard home from their vacation in Kenya, Jacob Two-Two is thrilled. But as the days pass, he realizes that Dippy isn't an ordinary lizard. In fact, Dippy's not so little either. As Dippy grows bigger and bigger, he begins to attract attention from some very important people. Before Jacob realizes, he is on the run from the entire government.
From Jacob Two-Two on the High Seas
By Cary Fagan, illustrated by DuÅ¡an PetriÄiÄ
“âWhat's that out there?' Cindy pointed past the rail of the ship. âThere's something there in the mist.'
Jacob could just make out the carved figurehead of a mermaid. âIt's a ship, it's a ship!' he cried. As it became more visible, Jacob could see that it was a very old ship, the kind with three tall masts and big sails. He could also see cannons â dozens of them â lined up along the ship's sideâ¦.”
First published by McClelland & Stewart, 1995
Published in this edition by Tundra Books, 2009
Text copyright © 1995 by Mordecai Richler
Illustrations copyright © 2009 by DuÅ¡an PetriÄiÄ
Published in Canada by Tundra Books
75 Sherbourne Street, Toronto, Ontario M5A 2P9
Published in the United States by Tundra Books of Northern New York, P.O.
Box 1030, Plattsburgh, New York 12901
Library of Congress Catalogue Number: 2008911579
All rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the publisher â or, in case of photocopying or other reprographic copying, a licence from the Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency â is an infringement of the copyright law.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Richler, Mordecai, 1931-2001
    Jacob Two-Two's first spy case / Mordecai Richler; illustrated by
DuÅ¡an PetriÄiÄ.
eISBN: 978-1-77049-073-4
    I. PetriÄiÄ, DuÅ¡an II. Title.
PS8535.I38J35 2009Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â JC813â².54Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â C2008-908040-8
We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Book Publishing Industry Development Program (BPIDP) and that of the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Media Development Corporation's Ontario Book Initiative. We further acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council for our publishing program.
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