Jaguin's Love: Dragon Lords of Valdier Book 8 (9 page)

“Yes, they do,” Aikaterina murmured, not adding that they made her feel something else – a longing to understand what it meant when they talked of love. “There is something I must do,” she said, floating upward.

“What? Do you need help?” Arosa asked, rising as well.

Aikaterina smiled serenely at Arosa and shook her head. “No,” she stated, lightly floating over the uneven stones. “This I must do alone. I will not be gone long. Please make sure that you and your sister do not cause trouble while I am away.”

“Who? Us?” Arosa teased, laying her hand against her shimmering chest.

Aikaterina raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Arosa and Arilla enjoyed spending time watching the human women that came to this world. They also enjoyed getting into mischief. With a sigh, Aikaterina waved her hand. A doorway appeared before her. Through it, millions of star systems could be seen beyond. Aikaterina flowed through the doorway.

“Where is she going this time?” Arilla asked her sister.

Arosa watched with a small smile. “I believe she is going back to the world of the human women,” she replied.

“Does this mean we can go visit with Abby, Cara, Trisha, and Ariel?” Arilla asked with a hopeful expression.

“Yes,” Arosa laughed. “Aikaterina just said we cannot cause trouble.”

Arilla rolled her eyes. “Now, where is the fun in that?” She laughed as she began to fade.

Sara sleepily then froze when she felt a heavy weight holding her down. For a brief instant, fear held her paralyzed. Her eyes opened wide when she felt a shaft of warmth flood her. Almost immediately, her body relaxed – Jaguin, it was Jaguin’s arm around her.

“We fell asleep again,” she murmured, staring into his eyes.

His soft chuckle warmed her again, this time for a different reason. The guy was totally hot to look at first when waking up. She could honestly say that was not the case with her last two lovers. His amused look vanished and a dark scowl creased his brow.

“Mm, you heard that thought, didn’t you?” She murmured with a sheepish grin.

“Yes,” he grunted with an unhappy look.

Sara raised her eyebrow at him. “Are you a virgin?” She asked with a pointed look.

A dark flush rose in his cheeks and he shifted uncomfortably. She caught brief flashes of a variety of different women. There were definitely more than her two previous relationships.

“No,” he admitted with a slightly crooked grin.

“Enough said then,” Sara muttered, pushing up to a sitting position before she winced. “Ugh, we need a bigger couch.”

“Or a bed,” Jaguin agreed, rolling his head to relieve the stiffness in his neck.

Sara glanced at him and chuckled. His hair was sticking up in several different directions, he had a couple days growth of beard on his face, and he was giving her a boyish look of hope. She shook her head and swung her legs over the side, pausing when she saw the slightly crumpled package on the table.

“What’s this?” She asked, reaching for it.

“Chocolate. Carmen said it would make you happy,” Jaguin replied.

“Chocolate?” Sara breathed out, gripping the package like it was a precious artifact. “I’m a total chocolate whore.”

“I am not familiar with that term,” Jaguin responded with a confused frown.

Sara released a happy sigh as she ripped open the package. She picked out a piece of chocolate and breathed in the delicious aroma before she bit into it. The bittersweet flavor of the dark chocolate combined with rich caramel washed over her taste buds sending a wave of pure bliss through her.

She turned and held out the other half to Jaguin who instinctively opened his mouth to sample the tasty tidbit. His eyes widened at the explosion of flavor. He slowly chewed on it, understanding Carmen and Sara’s enjoyment of the delicate treat. It was almost as good as a tasty Maratts and Grombots. Both were considered a rare, delicious delicacy to Valdier dragons.

“There is no such thing as too much chocolate,” Sara stated, reaching for another one. “Or coffee.”

“Coffee?” Jaguin asked as he picked up another piece of the chocolate, this one in a different shape.

“Coffee has caffeine and is great for waking you up and giving you an energy boost to help keep you going,” Sara explained with a chuckle.

Jaguin released a slight shudder. “I do not think it would be good for Lord Trelon’s mate to have such a thing. She moves very quickly, all the time, and gets into everything without it. You will get to meet her. She is very tiny. She reminds me of a Maratt; very fast and hard to catch. I will ask her if she can program this treat into our replicators. Then, you will have as much of it as you wish.”

Sara laughed. “I’ll end up the size of a house if you do that,” she retorted with a sigh as she picked up her third piece. “Thank you, Jaguin.”

“For what?” He asked, a puzzled frown creasing his brow.

Sara’s gaze softened. “For being you,” she replied, leaning forward to brush a light kiss across his lips.

Jaguin’s expression cleared and he raised his hand to tenderly run it down Sara’s cheek. She turned her face into his warm palm, enjoying the rough texture. She had never been a real touchy-feely girl, but there was something about this strange alien male that she connected with.

“I have to report for duty soon,” he murmured. “I will meet you here later.”

Sara turned her gaze to his face. She nodded. He rose to his feet and held his hand out to her. She placed her hand in his and stood up. For several long seconds, they stared at each other.

“Sara,” he started to say.

“Jaguin,” she whispered at the same time before clearing her throat and smiling. “You go first.”

“I… Last night…,” he paused and ran his hand through his hair. “I wanted you to know that last night meant a great deal to me. You are one of the bravest females I have met.”

Sara shook her head. “No, not brave,” she murmured, lowering her gaze. “I was very, very frightened. I still am.”

She lifted her head when he gently slid his hand up to cup her chin. “You are to me,” he said, leaning down to brush a kiss across her upturned lips. “I am glad the goddess led me to you.”

Sara watched as he pulled back and straightened. Her fingers trembled as they rose to touch her lips. She could still feel the warmth of his lips against them. She felt another piece of the fragile wall she built around her heart crumble at his sincere words.

Stepping silently through the door, he murmured that he would meet her later. He lifted the hand he was holding to his lips and pressed a hot kiss full of promise against the back of it. Sara watched him turn and stride down the long corridor toward the lift at the far end. Her gaze moved down to the box of chocolate in her left hand after he disappeared from sight.

“I’m falling in love with him,” she whispered in shock. “What am I going to do?”

Her gaze lifted to stare down the empty corridor. She had cared for the men in her other relationships, but the wall around her heart was firmly in place and she never really let them get close to her. She was sad when the relationships ended, but she was also ready. This… This was different. This wasn’t just about companionship. This was about forever.

Sara blinked and turned when the lift opened and two warriors stepped out. She quickly retreated to her quarters. She needed time to think. Time to decide what path she wanted her life to take – a future where she would be able to return to her life back on Earth or an unknown future on an alien world.

*.*.*

Sara slowed as she stepped into the room later that evening. Jaguin was already there, standing next to the window. He appeared to be deep in thought.

Sara pushed down the overwhelming desire to walk over and wrap her arms around him. She could feel a change in the room, as if there was a wall between them. It took a moment for Sara to realize that it was the same type of wall that she always built between her and the world, she just never recognized it before.

“Hi,” she said, pushing her hands into the front pockets of her jeans.

She watched as Jaguin drew in a deep breath. He didn’t turn around to greet her; instead, he continued to look out into space.

“You can fight your feelings for me, Sara, but it will not change them,” Jaguin said in a quiet voice.

“How…? Oh,” she said, fingering the symbiot on her wrist.

Jaguin slowly turned to face her. His face was drawn, but his eyes glittered with determination. Sara looked away from the heated gaze.

“I didn’t realize,” she started to say before her voice faded.

“We connected last night, Sara, in a way that usually happens only between true mates after the Dragon’s Fire is completed. We became one. I know your thoughts as you would know mine if you wished,” Jaguin said in a controlled tone. “You cannot lie to me, Sara. I know your true feelings.”

Sara swallowed and drew in a deep breath. She was not expecting this. The carefully crafted speech she planned to tell him flew from her mind at his softly spoken words. Inside, she flinched. She felt raw, exposed.

“Sara,” Jaguin muttered in a raw voice. “Give us a chance.”

“I can’t,” Sara whispered, finally looking up at him. “You know why. You know… I’m not like other women. I’m not made for a long lasting relationship. I don’t… I can’t fall in love with you.”

“I won’t hurt you or turn away from you, Sara. I am not like your aunt or cousins. I won’t leave you the way Delilah or your mother did, and I will never take you for granted, ” Jaguin said in a soft voice.

Sara’s chin lifted and she locked her jaw to keep it from trembling. Her arms wrapped around her waist and she curled her fingers into a fist to keep them from reaching out to him.

“My home…,” she whispered, staring at him when he shook his head and took a step toward her.

“Is now on Valdier, with me,” he said with a quiet certainty that shook her.

This time it was Sara’s turn to shake her head. She stared at him. She had fought with her own emotions all afternoon. The turning point was when she realized the power she gave Jaguin over her after she opened herself to him. When she was a child, she promised herself she would never do that again after her mom, in one of her rare visits, showed up for the last time. Selma Wilson brushed off the ten-year-old little girl that was still grieving as if she were an irritating insect.

Sara had opened her heart and her mother had torn it out and stomped on it. Her aunt was almost as bad, telling Sara that she should be thankful she wasn’t lying next to Delilah. When Sara cried out that she wished she were, her aunt looked coldly and said that at least it would be one less mouth to feed.

That coldness sank deep into Sara’s soul, freezing her heart and giving her the strength to set off on her own path without looking back. Jaguin’s connection last night broke through that wall she built, showing that she was still the raw, fragile girl deep inside with the same fears and uncertainty.

“I can’t,” Sara whispered, shaking her head and breaking contact.

She stiffened when Jaguin stepped closer to her. She stared down at the tips of his boots. She didn’t look up at him and he didn’t touch her. He didn’t have to as long as she wore his symbiot. He could feel the pain threatening to rip her apart.

“I will not give up, Sara,” Jaguin swore.

“Why? Why?” She asked in a small, confused voice.

“Because once a Valdier warrior has found his true mate, he will do everything in his power to protect her, even if it is from her own fears,” he said before he stepped out of the room.

Sara’s shoulders trembled and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep the cry of pain from escaping. Tears streamed down her face and she struggled to draw in a breath. The pain was almost physical in its intensity.

She shuddered when the door behind her opened. Her vision blurred when Honey sat down in front of her and gazed up at her with a woeful expression. One of her small stuffed sloths hung by an arm from its mouth.

“Oh, Honey,” Sara whispered in a trembling voice. “Why does life have to hurt so much?”

The huge golden Werecat pushed the stuffed animal into her hand. Sara wiped at her eyes and grasped the sloth. She hugged it to her and walked over to the couch. A moment later, she and Honey were curled up on the couch. Sara’s arms were wrapped around the soft fabric animal, while Honey lay with her head on Sara’s lap.

Jaguin swung the heavy battle sword again and again. The two men he fought slowly backed away from the savage blows. It was only when he whirled around and knocked Creon off his feet, pinning him to the ground with the blade that he backed off.

Sweat dripped from all three men and they were breathing heavily from the fight. Creon finally rolled to his feet and straightened as he drew in a deep breath.

“Program end,” Creon called out in a loud voice before turning to glare at Jaguin.

The thick forest around them faded as the computer shut down the training program. Gunner stared warily at Jaguin as he touched the corner of his lip. He grimaced when he saw the blood from where Jaguin struck him.

“I haven’t seen you this mad – ever,” Gunner muttered, waiting as his symbiot healed the numerous cuts and bruises on his body.

“This is training session, not a mission to kill,” Creon retorted, wiping an arm across his brow. “You have become more and more volatile over the last week. I hoped that a challenging workout would help calm you. There is only one thing I can think of that could cause this type of aggression, you are losing control of your dragon. What is wrong? You have a true mate, you shouldn’t be having this type of control issue.”

Gunner grimaced again and stared with a glum expression at Jaguin. “It must be the human female. Having a true mate is no guarantee that it will calm our dragons, especially if they don’t accept us,” he replied, sinking to the floor of the training room. He glanced at Creon with a wry look. “You should have warned us that human females could be this difficult,” he added with a sigh as he leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, his gaze turned toward Jaguin.

Jaguin rolled his shoulders. He was still lost in the haze of battle and fighting for control of his dragon. Once again, he felt close to the edge of darkness. His dragon strained to get out. Rage, despair, and grief twisted through him. He wanted, needed his mate.

“Jaguin,” Creon warned, reaching out and gripping Jaguin’s arm in a strong, unbreakable grip. “Focus.”

“I… am… trying,” Jaguin bit out through gritted teeth. “It is my dragon. He is….”

“Calm him,” Creon ordered.

Jaguin drew in a deep breath. The scales of his dragon moved over his skin. He could feel the angry beast straining to get free. He lowered himself to one knee and breathed deeply, focusing on calming the primitive creature that was his other half.

You must calm, my friend,
Jaguin soothed.

Mate hurting. I go to her
, his dragon snarled savagely.

If you do not calm, it will no be safe enough for either of us to go near her,
Jaguin replied, reaching deep to calm the pain of his dragon.
We cannot give up yet. I know she needs us. We must give her time.

No more time,
his dragon snapped, whipping around.

Jaguin felt the thin thread he held onto between him and on his dragon disintegrate. The hissing breath that he started to release changed to a roar as his dragon took control. The sounds of Creon and Gunner’s yells of warning echoed as if from a vast distance as he shifted. A red haze settled over him. His only thought was to go to his mate.

“Jaguin!” Creon snarled, his own body shimmering as he tried to get through the fog of pain radiating outward. “Take back control.”

Jaguin swung around, his tail snapping out with a deadly force at Creon. Creon saw the movement and dove to the side, shifting into his dragon as he did. Gunner, recognizing the danger of the situation, rolled and transformed as well. Jaguin jerked around, snapping at the other dragon.

I order you to stand down,
Creon hissed in the language of the dragons.

I go to mate,
Jaguin’s dragon snapped back, refusing to back down.
Mate hurting.

She needs you,
Gunner agreed.
But, not like this.

I take her. She mine!
Jaguin snarled.

Take control,
Creon growled.

Jaguin charged Gunner, hitting him in the chest. The blow pushed Gunner backwards. Deep gouges formed on the metal floor as the impact forced Gunner to scramble for footing. He was still off-balanced from the attack and was unable to keep slipping. His back left leg buckled and he fell to the floor.

Jaguin took advantage of the other dragon’s vulnerability. His front left foot landed on Gunner’s neck, holding him down as he prepared to strike. Gunner struggled to break free.

Jaguin,
Gunner choked out.

Jaguin’s savage snarl echoed through the room for a brief moment before it was cut off when Creon wrapped his tail around Jaguin’s neck and pulled him back with enough force to send him flying through the air. Jaguin flipped in midair and landed on his feet almost ten feet away.

Creon stepped between him and Gunner. Jaguin’s mind was burning with an intense rage. His tail flicked back and forth as his gaze moved over the two males standing between him and the exit to the room. Reaching forward, he dragged his front right claw along the metal. The loud sound of screeching echoed through the room in warning of his fury.

Jaguin, stand down or I will make you,
Creon warned in a deadly voice.

The heated response of Jaguin’s dragon died in his throat when the door to the room opened. The red glow intensified as two figures hurried into the room. His front leg reached out again, his head lowered, and his gaze locked on the figure staring back at him in shock.

“Carmen, get out of here! He is out of control,” Creon ordered, shifting back to his two-legged form.

Carmen stopped, her right hand going protectively to her abdomen while her worried gaze moved back and forth between her mate and Jaguin’s enraged dragon. She started to step backwards, waving with her other hand for Sara to retreat through the open door.

The fire in Jaguin’s eyes flared again and he took advantage of Gunner and Creon’s distraction to attack. Striking swiftly, he wrapped his tail around Creon’s legs and jerked him off the ground. He tossed Creon’s body up in the air and swung around to slice his claws across Gunner’s exposed chest before returning his attention to Creon’s falling body.

“No!” Carmen screamed.

Creon shifted into his dragon again as he dropped to the floor. Jaguin twisted around and his tail swung outward to protect him from the dragon rushing toward him. He curled the end around the slender column of Carmen’s neck. He held the female dragon for a split second before he released her and spun around.

Jaguin pushed back the black form of Creon’s dragon that had frozen, afraid to challenge Jaguin when he held Carmen’s life in his grasp. Gunner, who had also frozen, shifted back to his two-legged form. Jaguin ignored both of them as he moved to the far corner of the room.

A shudder ran through Jaguin’s large frame. The pain ripping through his dragon was heartwrenching for him. He had come very close to killing Carmen. Attacking a female dragon, especially one heavy with child, was an unspeakable act for a Valdier warrior.

“Carmen, are you hurt?” Creon’s husky voice echoed loudly in the sudden silence of the room.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “Jaguin….”

“He has lost control of his dragon. He will have to be confined until a decision can be made,” Creon responded.

“What kind of decision?” Sara asked in a soft, slightly uneven tone.

“Whether he should be given the mercy of death or confined for the rest of his life. A dragon out of control, especially one as powerful and deadly as Jaguin’s, can leave a path of devastation,” Creon replied in a grim voice.

Jaguin didn’t turn. He knew Creon was right. He was dangerous. Pulling away from the others, he focused on his grieving dragon.

Calm, my friend. I know your pain. It is mine as well,
Jaguin murmured in a soothing tone.

I no good for our mate,
his dragon grieved.

It is just as well she turned away from us before it was too late. The weight of what happened is not only on you. My own feelings are tied to yours. What happened could not transpire if my own anger had not magnified your own,
Jaguin replied in a tone filled with remorse.

I no want to live without mate,
his dragon informed him in a mournful tone.

Jaguin released a tired sigh. As much as he hated to admit it, his dragon’s behavior showed him that the fragile hold he had on his other half was too frayed to mend. He was a danger to everyone – including his own mate.

*.*.*

“Sara, go to him,” Carmen urged, recognizing the pain in Jaguin’s eyes.

“Carmen,” Creon started to warn before he glanced at Sara. “Be careful, Sara. If he tries to attack, understand that Gunner and I will do whatever is necessary to protect you.”

“He won’t hurt me,” Sara whispered, staring at Jaguin. “I’d… I would like to be alone with him. Please…,” she added, glancing at Creon and Gunner with a pleading look.

Sara watched as Creon opened his mouth to protest only to close it and nod when Gunner touched his arm and shook his head. Worry darkened his eyes, but Sara knew deep down that Jaguin would never hurt her. She turned when the door opened again and Honey quietly entered. The intense sadness in the symbiot’s gaze tore at her. The last week had been sheer torture. Swallowing, Sara waited until the other three left, leaving her, Honey, and Jaguin alone.

Drawing in a deep breath to steady her nerves, Sara quietly walked across the large room to where the dragon stood. A tentative smile of uncertainty curved her lips when she saw it glance at her quickly before looking away. In that brief glance, she caught the intense sadness. Her heart wrenched at the thought of hurting something so beautiful.

A startled gasp escaped her when Jaguin suddenly shifted. One moment, she was focused on the dragon, the next she was staring into the dark, troubled eyes of the man. Sara paused, unsure of what to do or say.

“You shouldn’t be here. It is not… safe,” Jaguin stated in a sharp tone.

Sara tucked her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and stared back at him in silence. He looked tired. He also looked like he lost some weight. He wasn’t the only one. She knew she looked just as tired and the little weight she gained had evaporated. Tandor had been giving her lectures on it almost daily.

“You won’t hurt me,” Sara replied with a wry confidence.

“My dragon might,” Jaguin bit out in a husky tone.

Sara shook her head. “No, he won’t,” she said in a soft voice. “What happened? Creon seems to think you're out of control.”

“I am,” Jaguin snapped, lifting his hands to run them through his hair in aggravation. “I can’t control my dragon any longer. When a warrior gets to that point, it is too dangerous to allow him to live.”

“So, just because of a little loss of control, you think you should be executed?” Sara asked in disbelief.

Jaguin shook his head and tiredly ran a hand down his face. He dropped his hand down to his side and turned away from her. Sara was shocked by the slight droop in Jaguin’s powerful shoulders.

“It is for the best, Sara. A warrior craves to have a mate to call his own, but a dragon… A dragon needs his mate to survive. The loneliness eats at him. You have to understand, for him to know he has a true mate, but never to claim her… Death would be more merciful.”

Sara scowled at Jaguin’s back. Her lips tightened and she clenched her fists for a moment as her mind raced wildly to process what he was saying. It was ludicrous to give up so easily. Reaching out, she touched Jaguin’s arm. He immediately stiffened. His shoulders rolled and she could feel the muscles under her fingers flex.

“Change back,” she ordered.

Jaguin slowly turned toward her, his eyes filled with surprise. “What?” He asked warily.

Sara gave him an intense stare. “I want to talk to your dragon. I need you to change back into him,” she said.

Jaguin shook his head. “Sara, I do not believe that is wise,” he responded, taking a step back so that she couldn’t touch him again. “I barely have him under control. The only reason I do is because of his remorse at almost killing Carmen. If I let him out again, I’m not sure I will be able to restrain him.”

Sara gazed back at Jaguin with a calm, determined gaze. She wanted – needed – him to know that she wasn’t afraid of him or his dragon. She also wasn’t going to stand by and allow Jaguin to just end his life. She wasn’t ready to move their relationship forward yet, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t working on it.

“Change back, Jaguin,” Sara whispered, stepping forward. “I need to talk to him.”

“Sara…,” Jaguin’s guttural groan filled the room at her pleading gaze. “I will do what I can to keep him under control. If… If I can’t, you have to promise you will get out of here as quickly as you can.” His gaze moved to his symbiot where it sat watching them in silence. “You must protect her at all cost, do you understand?”

Honey sneezed. The symbiot’s head bowed in acknowledgement and its body shimmered. Sara took several steps back when Jaguin shot her a look of warning.