Jahleel (36 page)

“What?” I asked in confusion.

“You women,” he said lazily, reposed. “Sleep with me once, and the next thing I know, you’re spouting off love confessions.”

When I stiffened in his arms, he opened his eyes. They were hard and empty. The fire and passion just there minutes ago, gone.

“You are the biggest arse I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

Voice flat and devoid of emotion, he responded, “Then why’d you let me fuck you?”

“I just told you why…” I whispered, so low I barely heard myself. I couldn’t…I couldn’t understand what was happening.

“
Why
?” he demanded with a cruel edge, meant to make me feel like nothing and nobody. “Why the fuck would you do that, stupid girl? Why go and ruin everyfuckingthing?”

Enraged and hurt, his words twisting a knife deep into my heart, I took a breath, ready to light him up with a string of expletives, because I was hating him so much at that moment. How could he just switch on me like that? Be so loving one minute and so cruel the next?

Before I could start my diatribe, Jahleel drew back and held up a hand. “Look, I’m not in the mood to argue. Besides, it’s fuckin’ rainin’ and I don’t even have a vehicle here to get the fuck away from you.”

Tears sprang to my eyes, and I tried to find the strength to hold them back so he couldn’t steal anymore of me, so he couldn’t win. But the weak part of me, the part that belonged wholly and completely to the man verbally hurting me at the moment, couldn’t hold the tears in. Instead, they flowed out in endless wet streams down my face, while Jahleel watched me without emotion. He was unmoved by my tears, as if he’d seen it all before.

“You’re…h-hurting me,” I sniffled out.

Getting up to his feet, he shrugged. “You were warned.”

As he turned and started towards the bathroom, I stood up and yelled at his back, fat tears rolling, nose running, “I hate you! I fucking
hate
you! I wish, oh how I wish I never fucking knew you. At all.”

He stopped when those simple words penetrated whatever wall he had up. He stood there for a moment until he shook his head as if clearing it and his shoulders fell.

A raging demon entered me and I ran to him and began pounding my fists on his back, screaming how much I hated him.

When he turned around, he gripped my arms to stop my flailing fists. I immediately saw arsehole Jahleel gone and replaced by the Jahleel who had just made love to me. His eyes were soft and apologetic, his posture defeated, his voice humbled, “Sassy, stop. You don’t mean that.”

Holding on to my dignity (even though we were both butt naked), I stubbornly raised my chin and jerked from his grip, taking a few steps back. “I meant every word, JK.”

“Yes, you do. The words from earlier. But not these words. You don’t hate me.”

As he took a step in my direction, I moved back and pointed an angry finger at him. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you bloody dare!”

But my warning went unheeded as he moved in swift and smooth, grabbed my face and kissed me deep. I tried to fight him off, but he kept my face firm in his hold, forcing me to accept his kiss.

When he realized I wasn’t giving in, he ripped his lips away and wrapped his arms around me in a way that trapped my arms at my sides, in case I was still inclined to fight.

“I’m sorry,” he fiercely apologized, “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not!” I barked in his face. “You’re right! You are what you are: an arse! I don’t want you anymore!
I don’t want you
.”

Forcefully moving me to the bed, he pushed me back on it, and before I could lurch up, he braced down on top of me, pinning me. “You’re right and wrong. I’m an ass. But I truly
am
sorry, Sassy.” He dropped apologetic kisses all over me, kept me restricted. “I never meant any of it. Don’t say you hate me. I’m sorry for hurtin’ you.”

He kept kissing me everywhere. Soft, tender, soothing kisses. “Babe…please…Am I forgiven?”

Even though his kisses were wiping away my hurt and anger, replacing them with love and passion, I said nothing.

I must not give in. I must not give in. I don’t love him. I
do
hate him.

Jahleel moved a hand down between us, and before I could stop him, he pushed into me.

I tried to suppress a moan, but it weaselled its way out in a satisfying, “unhhhhhh.”

“I’ll go slow, babe. I’ll go slow,” he soothingly whispered, dropping his forehead to mine, genuine apology evident in his eyes, his expression. “Please, forgive me. I-I…I am… Forgive me, Saskia.”

My eyelids fluttered down as he moved slowly in and out, a peaceful calm settling over me. Even if he didn’t want to hear it, and even if it was stupid of me, I was in love with him and I couldn’t help it.

So when he flexed deep into me with a pleasurable flow, asking once more, “Am I forgiven?” I reopened my eyes, locked them with his and answered with a foolish, but unapologetic, “Yes.”

Chapter Twenty-One

J
ahleel wasn’t next to me when I woke up the next morning. But, uncharacteristically, a short note was left on the pillow next to me:

Have an important early meeting. Took Ferbz’s bike.

Last night? Unforgettable.

I’ll ache for you all day.

P.S I’m still sorry.

Folding the note until it was a minuscule piece of hard paper in my palm, I tossed it in the nightstand drawer and slugged out of bed. I remembered the hurt from the night before, but it was fleeting, considering he spent the rest of night trying to make it up to me.

I heard his apology, I felt it, and I saw it.

I wouldn’t try to find an excuse for his behaviour or try to justify it. But I could forgive. And he was forgiven, sin forgotten.

Just like every other morning for the past 5 plus years, this morning was no different: I woke up madly in love with Jahleel Kingston. Not only that, but I was flat-out happy.

It had taken a long time, but the feat was now accomplished. Jahleel was now mine.
My
man. We were in a relationship. An exclusive relationship. And though it was kiddish to believe in promises, I believed him when he promised me he’d never hurt me again.

There was just one thing hanging over our heads: My tour. Which was in two weeks. The timing couldn’t have been more off. After finally coming together, I was about to leave him for six months.

Yep, believing in exclusivity and promises was definitely foolish.

I had a long day of rehearsals. Planning and training stretched out before me, so I spared no time grabbing a shower, donning sweat pants, cropped tank and low-top Chucks. I bundled my mass of hair atop my head, snagged my messenger bag and sunglasses and headed downstairs.

Amanda and Ferbie were already dressed and waiting, messing around in the living area. Or more like Amanda messing with Ferbie.

My beloved brother was looking fresher, sprightlier, happier than I’d ever seen him. Of late, he’d been MIA quite a bit. Ever since he bought that darn bike, he’d been attracting female attention like ants to crumbs. Apparently chicks dig guys who straddled bikes.

I came home tired one evening and saw two girls I didn’t know from Adam lounging in my living room. No need to ask if I went radge on Ferbie.

Since then, he spent most nights out with his groupies. At one point, I’d gotten paranoid that he might be squandering his money to impress these girls, but when I tracked his spending, it was used mostly on hotel rooms and food, far below the daily limit I gave him. When I ask asked him about it, he only spared, “JK taught me the works.”

Whatever ‘works’ JK taught him kept him sensible, so I let him be.

“I see you’ve remembered your address,” I greeted Ferbie, skipping up to him and throwing my arms around his neck. “Give me snog!”

Grinning wide, he kissed both my cheeks before pulling from my tight embrace.

“Ma,” he said with a determined expression as we headed for the door. “There’s someone who wants to meet you.”

My gaze shifted to Amanda who had her lips folded, holding back something, then back to Ferbie. “I have no time for your opportunist biker babes, Ferbie.”

“No, no,” he protested quickly. “Madame Viper isn’t like that.”

A startled laugh got caught somewhere in my throat, while Amanda smacked Ferbie on the back on his head.

Ferbie yelped, “Ow!” at the same time I squeaked, “Madame Viper?” at the same Amanda reprimanded, “You don’t go around calling her that, you plonker!”

As Ferbie started to speak, Amanda put her hand over his mouth to shut him up, then apprised me, quietly, “Your sycophantic brother has found himself a Domme. Ten years his senior who is—for all things beyond my understanding in this weird world—
insanely in love
with him.”

My eyes narrowed on Amanda. “You took him to that bloody freak club, didn’t you?”

“It’s not a ‘freak club’,” she defended. “And he was annoying the crap out of me one night about being bored, so I tagged him along with me.”

“And now I’m supposed to just accept that my brother’s a submissive to some senior citizen called
Madame Viper
?”

Ferbie tried to speak behind Amanda’s hand, but she pointed a firm finger at him. “Shut up.”

I smacked her hand from off him. “He’s not
your
sub, so don’t put your hand on him or talk to him like that!”

“Right, because if my sub ever mentioned me by my play name in public, I’d beat him black and blue.”

Oh Christ. This whole thing was absurd.

“Anyway,” Amanda continued in topic, “Whether you want to accept it or not, Ferbie is naturally submissive. Sade is only thirty-eight and, by some miracle, she’s smitten with him.”

“Am I supposed to believe that?”

Amanda waved her hand in the general direction of the door. “The proof is outside.”

Casting her a glare, then one at Ferbie, I marched out of the house.

Parked next to the water fountain was a brand new, matte black Lamborghini.

“Wow. She bought him a Lambo… Don’t you think this is a little extreme?” I muttered to Amanda who drew up beside me.

She shrugged. “Sade’s filthy. Her late husband was an Internet Billionaire. Everything went to her. Plus she was well-off before him.”

Turning to Ferbie who was standing on the other side of me, I asked him, “Are you happy?”

His grin blinded me. “Aye, Ma. More than ever.”

Oh, so he was back to saying ‘Aye’ now.
Ole
Madame Viper must love that.

I moved in and hugged him tight, whispering in his ear, “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

Thomas rolled up with the Phantom and stepped out to open the door for us.

I gaily clapped my hands and rubbed them together. “Okay, let’s kick the hell out of this day.”

As I made my way to the car, Amanda grabbed my arm, letting Ferbie go ahead of us. “With that bounce in your step and that dimple which only comes out when you’re superduper-deliriously-happy, I take it some sticking it in the poy yoi finally went down last night?”