Jaided (10 page)

A few moments later, she walked in front of him fully clothed in sweats and a T-shirt, on course to open the door. It had become a familiar knock. "What's up, Chance?"

Chance glanced beyond her to Blaize. "Not a whole lot, just wanted to see what you guys were up to. Would you believe I’m actually bored?"

"I just woke up from a nap." She stood aside to let him enter. He slouched in one of the chairs near the desk. Blaize crawled back onto his bed and Jaide joined him.

"What were you two doing? Taking a nap anyways?"

She shrugged and pulled Blaize's book into her lap. "I like naps. They put me in good moods."

"Oh yeah, and your brother has been calling me and texting me like crazy. You need to turn your phone on. He’s trying to get a hold of you."

"Why? Anything important?"

"I don't think so, just being Tremaine."

She stood to dig her phone out of her backpack and plug it in. She took a flying leap and landed back on Blaize's bed again. She grinned at Chance before grabbing the thick textbook again and whipping Blaize's homework out of his hands.

"You are in a good mood, huh?"

She nodded. "You know what? I
am
feeling rather magnificent."

"Yeah, I can tell. You guys are boring. Are you really gonna sit here all day and do homework?"

"Probably."

Chance stood and rolled his eyes. "Everyone is busy today. I guess I'll just go play video games."

"Bye," Jaide said without looking up, and waved him away with her hand.

Chance rolled his eyes again and left the room. "You kids have fun."

Once Chance had left, Blaize tapped one of the Trig problems on his paper. "I'm stuck on that one. I got most of the way done I think, but I don't know what to do next."

She examined it for a moment. "Multiply by the conjugate. That will get you to the next step. ” She scooted closer to him and helped him through the rest of the review problems Mr. West had given him to catch up.

He caught on fast and didn't need her help too much. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder while watching his progress. He didn't seem to notice or if he did notice, he didn't show it.

When he was finally done, he leaned back and rested his head on the wall, closing his eyes. She let his brain cool down for a moment before asking him a question. "Hey Blaize, how'd your errands go?" She straightened to look at him. She had to wait a couple moments for an answer.

He opened his eyes and looked at her before closing them again. "They went good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he confirmed.

"How is she?" Jaide asked, her voice a little softer when referring to Maddy. He hesitated only a second. "She's good ... same as always."

"That's good."

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curios is all. I'm glad to hear that she's doing well."

"It sounds like you care."

"I do care."

"About her?"

"Well, I don't know her, but I care about you."

His eyes opened and he sighed. She could tell that even though his eyes were open he was just staring straight ahead, not really seeing anything. She could tell that she had opened up memories that he normally pushed aside and it was affecting him.

Blaize spoke in a vacant voice, dreamily. "She was great, and you would have liked her."

"Tell me about her."

Blaize thought for a while before speaking. "She was amazing, so brilliant. She got accepted to one of the best boarding schools because of how well she did in middle school and on standardized tests. Her parents couldn't afford it but she got most of it paid for in scholarships, and she worked for the rest. She was always optimistic. I was so lucky to have her. My parents hated her."

That thought turned his eyes a little darker and it was clear that he was angry at his parents for that, but Jaide kept quiet so he would continue.

"She was outgoing and didn't care that she came from a middle class family while everyone else at that school was filthy rich. She put up with me. I was so depressed all the time that my parents eventually kicked me out of the house because I wouldn't break up with her. Everyone loved her. I know you guys would have been friends. She played basketball, even though she wasn't the best at it. She tried really hard because she had so much fun playing in games. She always wanted to try something new. We always said we were going to go to Egypt one day and climb the pyramids. She loved history and all that. She was my life ... when she …" He paused and took a deep breath. "When it happened, and she ... left, I was a mess. I didn't think I had a reason to live."

He stopped and she could tell he was on the verge of tears. She moved closer to him. Their shoulders touched but she didn't try to comfort him, just let him know that she was there and she would wait until he was ready to keep talking about it. He dropped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. She looked up and saw a few tears leak out and leave wet paths down his cheeks.

She brushed them away softly. He showed no reaction. She took his hand and turned it over, tracing the faint scars that she found on his wrists. "What would she think now, if she saw how you are now? All closed up from the world, not being able to think about her without getting sad?"

"I can't help it. You don't understand."

"I know I don't understand, but I want to. I want to help you feel better."

"She loved me. She told me that all the time, but I could never say it back. It tore her up but she stayed with me anyways." He took a deep breath and glanced down at her before looking away. "I tried, I tried so hard to love her. I cared about her so much but I didn't love her like she needed."

"She wanted you to be happy, and would still want that. She would want you to move on."

"I don't want to forget her."

"I'm not suggesting that. I'm just suggesting that you come to terms with what happened and then start up your life again. That means having friends that trust they don't have to worry about you all the time. It means being able to remember her and all the good things about her without getting so sad. It means not blaming yourself and being able to enjoy the memories of her. She would have wanted you to be happy. You know that. She would have wanted you to have more relationships and lead a normal life."

"It's hard because she's still ... here."

"I know it's hard, probably harder than I can imagine. But it's not impossible."

He heaved a shuddering sigh. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How did you get over what happened to you? I know they are totally different situations, but all I did was lose someone and I'm freaking out. You had to endure all that stuff that I can't even imagine. I'm so weak."

"No, no you're not. You’re doing great, and it took me years, Blaize.
Years
. You should have seen me. I was messed up, but I had a great support system. Tremaine and my dad, they were great and that's what I want to be for you."

"Nothing more than that?"

She hesitated a moment. "I'm not going to lie to you. I do like you, but that has nothing to do with this, I promise."

"That's why I hate myself right now. I like you, too ... and I shouldn't. It's wrong."

"No, it's not wrong. Maddy would have wanted you to be happy and move on. And I'm not just saying this because it's me. I would be saying this if you liked another girl, too."

He nodded.

After a few moments of silence, he abruptly pulled her onto his lap, or rather, in between his legs. He held her back tightly against the front of his torso and buried his face against the back of her neck and shoulder.

She smiled a little at this and stroked his jean-clad knee slowly. After a few minutes, she couldn't help but giggle. "I feel like a teddy bear, a giant one."

"Sorry," he mumbled against her back.

"Nah, it's ok. Teddy bears are cool. Are you feeling better?"

He nodded. "A lot better, thanks. I needed to talk about it."

A few moments later, there came a knock on the door. Blaize groaned and lifted his head. Jaide leaned back against him with a smile. "Who is it?" she called.

"It's Sir Alex and Lady Garrett."

"What do you want?"

"We would like to cordially invite you to a rendezvous at a movie theater just a few blocks away."

"Sorry, I'm expecting an important phone call."

"Do you think we could come in?"

"No, I'm too lazy."

"Ok ... is Blaize in? Maybe he wants to go."

Blaize answered. "Sorry guys, lots of homework. You two have fun though."

"Alright, we will. Talk to you guys later." Their footsteps retreated down the hallway.

"You coulda gone."

"Nah, I'd rather be your teddy bear."

"You're way cuter then any teddy bear I've seen."

"Well thanks!"

A few moments of silence stretched out. "So Blaize, tell me where we're at right now."

"I just want to think for a while."

"Ok ... I got an idea." She pulled away and he reluctantly let go. She cleared his bed of all the books and papers. He took the hint and lay back on his bed, pulling up his covers.

She put in a CD and turned it on with a low volume. She turned off the light, but it wasn't real dark since the sun shined through the blinds of the window.

Jaide crossed the room to his bed and looked down at him. "So you wanna think for a while?"

He nodded. "Well, do you think better with a teddy bear or without a teddy bear?"

"Definitely
with
a teddy bear." His arm held the covers open for her and she quickly crawled inside.

They lay in silence for a long time. Jaide wasn't sure how long, but it was at least an hour. If she had not already taken a nap, she would have fallen asleep. She didn't mind. She was content with lying with Blaize and letting him have his time.

I
n the ensuing weeks, Blaize and Jaide endured a barrage of juvenile taunting that ranged from soccer practice to suspiciously timed knocks on their door, many late at night as though the inquisition had found a rebirth at Exeter Creek five centuries later. Together and separately, they professed their innocence of doing anything other than homework. Their friends and teammates remained skeptical and that annoyed each of them. Blaize grew edgy and Jaide slept less peacefully until finally, one night the tension exploded.

Blaize awoke and looked at the clock. 2:57 a.m. What the heck? He glanced about groggily to see what had disturbed him. The dim light from the window lit up Jaide's bed. She was moving in her sleep and mumbling incoherent words but she sounded distressed. He listened more closely.

"No ... no ... stop. Oh, please stop."

He approached her bed with stealth, cautious not to add to her obvious distress.

"No, I didn't ... please, let me go." The words were slurred from sleep and she tossed and turned, getting tangled in her sheets.

Blaize crawled under the covers slowly. Almost immediately, she stopped thrashing and latched on to him, but still mumbled.

He stroked her back slowly. "Shh, it’s ok sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

She murmured for a few more seconds before falling to a peaceful sleep. He thought about going back to his own bed but she was hanging onto him so tight, he was afraid it would wake her.

Her mind floated to a soft landing after she fought off the cloaked and hooded figure that pinned her down and tried to force her to submit. Only when a mysteriously large and comforting presence moved against her back did the attacker withdraw and let her rest peacefully. Her mind felt safe and she resisted waking as long as she could, until the mind that ruled the night surrendered to an intrusive buzzing.

Jaide woke up and remembered the nightmare right away, but something was off. A hand gently gripped her leg. She twisted around to find Blaize entangled with her body. She thought he looked adorable in his sleep. His shirtless body felt comfortably warm and she cuddled close.

That stupid alarm clock ruined the moment
, she thought.

Blaize groaned and leaned over her, swatting at her alarm clock but missing. She laughed and reached for it, successfully turning it off, but also entangling them in an even more precarious position. He sprawled over her, unaware of where he slept, groggily awakening.

She waited patiently under him, not really minding at all, waiting for him to realize that he was pinning her down.

Suddenly wide awake, he scrambled off her bed.

"Uh, sorry."

"No biggie."

He stood awkwardly for a few moments. "Do you want the first shower?"

"Nah, go ahead,” she said. “I have some last-minute homework." He nodded and entered the bathroom. A few minutes later, his cell phone went off. She ignored it the first two times but on the third, she hunted it down. It was in his backpack. She peered at the little screen. It peered back with the name Calvin. She shrugged and set it on his bed and went back to her homework.

When he was done, she hopped in. She took a fifteen minute shower and then began to get dressed. She pulled on a dark blue tank top, but then considered another one.