"Blaize, you're right. It’s not sex but that's ok, and I've been saying that from the beginning. There is obviously something going on here that just needs a little time to be worked out and that is totally fine. You are not using me. I enjoyed that, and not just because you enjoyed it, ok? I can tell that it was hard for you, at first. It was a trust issue and there is nothing wrong with that. You have no idea the trust issues I have. But if this is what works for us, for now, that's great, and I'm looking forward to the next time."
"Jaide, honestly I don't expect ..."
"I want to. Are you listening? I liked it. I enjoyed it. It was fun. It built a bond between us, and I can't wait to do it again. I mean, as long as you're comfortable with it, so am I."
"But ..."
"Nope, don't want to hear it right now. You liked it, right?"
He blushed a little, which Jaide found extremely odd considering what they had just done. "Well yeah, it was very amazing and erotic, but ..."
"Good, then next time this predicament arises we can pick up this conversation. For now, I'm thinking some dry clothes, a movie and curling up on my giant bed."
He smiled at her persistence. "Sounds like a plan."
A few hours later, the kitchen smelled like bacon and macaroni and cheese. Jaide and Blaize had decided to cook. Blaize wanted meat but Jaide wanted pasta, so they compromised on macaroni and cheese with fresh chunks of bacon stirred in. Blaize had cooked the bacon while Jaide made the macaroni and cheese.
Jaide dished out two huge bowls and handed them to Blaize to take out into the living room. She followed him closely with utensils, a Coke for Blaize and a Fresca for her.
They popped in a disc from the first season of
Bones
, which they had been watching earlier.
"We're gonna get fat if we eat like this all weekend," Jaide commented.
"No kidding. Too bad this is so damn delicious." He shoveled a big spoonful into his mouth.
She laughed and took a bite for herself. "You know what we should do?"
"What?"
“We should be smart.”
“I’m for that”
“You’ve seen the house and met my dad, so to avoid getting fat, well, if we headed back now there would be no one there. The school and the dorm are empty. We could really be alone.”
"But we're alone here."
"Yeah, until Bella pops in, or my dad comes home early, or Tremaine and Mason come up with more surprises."
"Right, I get your point." Blaize smiled at her thought. “That is smart. That actually sounds really nice. Let’s do it."
"Yeah?"
"Why not? We don't have anything going on today. Forget that pool party idea, too juvenile. Might as well head back before anyone else does, before it turns into a zoo."
"Cool. We’ll leave as soon as we get packed and ready."
Two hours later, they were halfway back to school on the freeway but not moving. Traffic was stopped and being detoured because of an accident a few miles ahead. The Audi Q-7 was in park since they had been sitting in the same spot for a good 15 minutes. A traffic control officer was going down the long line of cars, notifying each driver that it would be at least another twenty minutes before traffic got moving again at all.
Blaize thanked the officer and put up his window. "Great." He turned the engine off.
"No big deal,” said Jaide. “It’s not like we're in a hurry."
Blaize leaned back in his seat. "I'm sure we could probably find some way to pass the time though." He glanced over at her.
"Ohhhh, no. You’re not getting anything more than a peck on the cheek until we get back to the school, where I can have my revenge."
"Ooooh, that sounds like fun." He mocked excitement.
"We'll see how you like a taste of your own medicine."
"Oh, I think I'll like it very much." He reached across the seat for her but she kept her distance. "Aw, come on. I let you kiss me during the day."
"Only once, and your quota is up. You’re just gonna have to wait."
"Ok, I see how it is." He sat back in his seat. He purposely reclined the seat and stretched so his abs were showing. He folded his hands behind his head, spread his legs, getting comfortable and looking incredibly sexy, she felt.
"You are so ..." she trailed off, not finding the right word.
"Irresistible?" he said, closing his eyes lazily.
She sighed. "Unfortunately."
"Aww, come on. Be a good sport."
"Ok, I guess one kiss is ok." She reclined her seat back as far as it would go.
"Ha!" Blaize unsnapped his seat belt and immediately climbed over to her side of the car and settled his body over hers.
"We're getting pretty bad, you know. Can’t even keep our hands off each other for a few hours." She rubbed his shoulders and chest.
"You don't mind, do you?"
"No, of course not. To be honest, this is way more what I'm used to. It's nice just to know there's always a guy nearby that wants to kiss me."
He brushed his lips against the soft skin of her neck. "I left bruises here again. I'm sorry. I should be more careful."
"Don't you dare. I love the way you kiss." She pushed her fingers into his hair.
He lifted his face from her neck to lay his lips on hers. Jaide was quickly overwhelmed by the kiss. One of her legs came up to wrap around his waist, pulling their hips flush.
Blaize moaned at the new closeness and pulled his lips away. "Jaaaaaide."
"Hmm?" she inquired, sliding her hands up the back of his shirt, feeling each muscle.
"Maybe we should wait for this."
"What for?"
"Because ..." A loud honk startled both of them. Blaize looked over his shoulder and out the windshield. "Shit." He rolled off her and slid back into the driver seat. Traffic had started moving again.
Blaize started the car and hit the accelerator. The Audi growled in response and took off, pushing Jaide back in her seat.
"Ooops," Blaize laughed, "that cop said twenty minutes."
Jaide yawned. "Good, I wanna get there. I'm hellishly tired."
"You should take a nap. I'll wake you up when we get there."
"No, I wanna keep you company." She yawned again.
"But don't you wanna be fully rested for your 'revenge' tonight?"
"Hmmm, that's true. You don't mind if I sleep?"
"Nope, go ahead."
"Ok, night night."
Within ten minutes, Jaide was fast asleep. Blaize glanced down at her and noticed she was shivering a little, so he cranked up the heater before turning his eyes back to the road. As he drove, Jaide dwelt in another world of sheer terror, not shivering, but physically trembling.
Jaide tried to control her trembling as she sat in her small room, listening to the sounds coming from the rest of the house. Her dad was home and he was in a bad mood. She could tell by the way he had screeched into the driveway and slammed the front door. His heavy steps came down the hallway and Jaide closed her eyes, praying the steps would continue on, past her door. They didn't, and she cringed and backed against her far wall as the lock on the outside of her door opened and the door swung in. The door slammed open and her dad stood there. He wasn't dressed like a dirty wife beater, or in ripped jeans like the stereotypical abusive father. No, her father was reputable storeowner, dressed in a blue button up and khakis, very normal looking.
"Out!" he said firmly. He never yelled, merely spoke menacingly and commandingly firm. Jaide heard her voice pleading, "Please ... I don't..." But he never told her twice. He strode across the room and grabbed her by the back of the neck, dragging her out of the room. Sometimes she tried to fight, more often than not she didn't. It never helped. She never got much to eat, she never had any strength. She only weighed about 100 pounds. That was pretty scrawny for her above average height. He dragged her through the house. It looked normal and clean, like any middle class suburban house. She didn't see the house much. She didn't get out of her room much and when she did, it was usually for the same action by him. Usually her father threw her down on the living room floor or couch, but some days he took her all the way into the dining room. Today was one of those days. Her trembling grew more intense. He shoved her hard and she slammed into the long table. The wood connected with her bony hip and she cried out in pain. "Shut the fuck up. Take off your clothes." He calmly unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirts and rolled up his sleeves. "No Dad, please." She begged and begged. He didn't tell her twice. He grasped her shirt and ripped it off. She tried to hold onto it but he was too strong. He grabbed her around the back of the neck again and spun her around so she faced away from him. He pushed her forward again, the table digging into her hips. He bent her over the table. She tried to pry his hand off her neck, "Please, no, no..." He cuffed her on the side of her head, hard. Darkness descended on her, and she welcomed it. But before it could fully overtake her, she was bent over the table, allowing blood to rush to her head and pulling her back into full consciousness. Her panties were gone now and she was naked. The table was cold against her bare skin. The heavy hand on her neck was smashing her face against the table. She turned her head to the side so she could breathe and caught a glimpse of her father unzipping his pants. Her tears started to fall, and she pushed futilely against the table. She begged for him to stop again but he wasn't hearing it. He lifted her head off the table just far enough so it would hurt when he slammed it back down, getting her to shut up. Jaide saw black spots and wished he would do it again. Maybe she would pass out. One rough hand gripped her hip while he leaned on her neck with the other, keeping her solidly against the table as he began one of his favorites pastimes ...
Jaide's eyes snapped open and she flew up to sitting position in her seat. Her seat belt abruptly snapped her back.
"Hey, Jaide, you ok?" Blaize glanced at her. "Jaide? What's wrong?"
"Pull over," Jaide said, sounding panicked. She fumbled to unbuckle her seat belt.
Blaize hit the brakes and pulled onto the wide shoulder, coming to a stop quickly.
Jaide immediately stumbled out of the car and dropped to her knees in the grass beside the freeway.
Blaize jumped out of the car and ran to her. He reached her just as she began to puke up her breakfast. He turned and grabbed a bottle of water out of the car and returned to her. He crouched down beside her. "Jaide? Car sick?"
She turned to face him for a moment, and he knew that it wasn't car sickness. There were tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. She turned away quickly and tried to dry her face but she vomited again, until there was nothing left in her stomach. He saw how very red her eyes had turned.
"Sorry," she mumbled, wiping her mouth.
Blaize shook his head and unscrewed the cap on the water before handing it to her. "It’s not car sickness, so what’s wrong?"
She took a drink of the water and spit it back out, rinsing her mouth. "Yeah ... yeah."
"What ... what's wrong?"
She took a drink of the water and stood up, drying her face. "Nothing, sorry, car sick."
"Yeah right, Jaide. Was it a bad dream?"
She hesitated but his eyes pierced hers, searching for the truth. "Yeah, it was - like really bad, bad. That’s what it was, fucking awful."
"I am so sorry, Jaide. You seemed ok. You seemed to be sleeping fine."
She nodded. "Its ok, I'm ok now. Let's just go."
He searched her eyes for a few more seconds. "Ok." He walked her back to the car and helped her in before shutting her door.
When he climbed into the other side of the car, she was putting her seat back up into its regular position. He surmised that she had no inclination to try to fall back asleep.
He stayed silent for a few moments as he pulled out onto the road.
After merging into the fast lane, he looked over at her. "Want to talk about it?"
"No. Just a bad dream, nothing to talk about."
"If you told me about it, it might help."
"No, but thanks though," she said firmly.
"The offer stands for as long as you need it.”
Jaide looked over at him. He was watching to road and while he seemed to genuinely care, he didn't have any interest in forcing her to talk about it. She felt grateful.
He felt her eyes on him and glanced over at her. "I'm sorry it upset you, whatever it was. You know you can always talk to me about it if you want."
She nodded. "Yeah, I know." She pulled her knees to her chest and stared out the windshield.
"We're only a few minutes away. Maybe if you get straight into the shower when we get to our room, you'll feel better."
She thought,
for not knowing what her dream was about he did a damn good job at knowing exactly what she needed.
"Yeah, maybe a shower."
Her really bad nightmare had been long forgotten, she felt. She hadn't had one in a while but she used to have them regularly. Each one was very similar, but she never relived the exact same memory twice. She was used to dealing with them. She would take a shower, get something back into her stomach, and then find something else to occupy her mind. It used to be Mason and sex.
She also often found solace in books, sports or playing with her dogs, but that was before she had moved in with Blaize. Once they had played a game of strip poker. The game ended when Jaide was left in just her underwear.
"Haha, Jaide loses," he had teased.
Jaide had thrown down her cards. "Haha, yourself. I've always sucked at poker. I don't even know why I agreed to play."
"I bet it was because you wanted to take off your clothes for me, duh," Blaize had said, gathering the cards up and putting them back in the pack.
Since then, things had changed. Now Jaide yawned after her shower. "Damn, I'm tired."
"Well, the nap that you had wasn't very successful. Maybe you should take another one. I'm kinda tired, too." He smoothly laid them both down on his bed.
"Are you sure? I can sleep by myself if you want to do something else."
He tucked her against his body. "Shh, I'm trying to sleep."