Jake (The Highland Clan Book 4) (21 page)

She was quite happy to lean against him and take in the sights of the snow-covered mountain tops and the pine trees swaying in the wind. When they finally reached the loch, she took a deep breath, enjoying the serenity of the lapping water in front of them.

Jake was dismounting when his uncle came outside to greet them. “Is someone hurt, Jake?”

“Nay, Aline came to speak with Aunt Caralyn, if she’s free.”

“Och, perfect. I could use your help getting some of this wood cut up and piled for winter.” He gestured over near a heap of wood sitting on the edge of their clearing. “Do you mind helping me? I’ll get Roddy and Padraig. Between the four of us, we’ll make quick work of it.”

Jake assisted Aline off the horse, and she stood to the side as Jake’s uncle summoned the other lads to begin chopping. Once they were ready to begin, Jake took her hand and ushered her inside. He kissed her cheek and then left.

Caralyn was alone in the main chamber, sitting in a chair sewing. “Come in, come in, Aline. Forgive me for not getting up, but I have to finish this stitch. I’m not the best seamstress.”

Aline crossed the room to stand close to her, and Caralyn pointed to a nearby chair. “Please sit. How can I help you? You’re not hurt, are you?”

She shook her head, trying desperately to stop the tears that were doing their best to flood her cheeks.

Caralyn set her needlework down on a nearby chest and said, “Aline, my dear. What is bothering you so? You have been through so much. Do you wish to talk about it?”

Aline gave up and allowed the tears to have their way. “I’m so confused. Everyone is so wonderful, but I do not…that is…I am not…I do not how to put my feelings into words. The only thing I can say is I do not belong.” She stared at the hearth after her last statement came out in a whisper, so low that she wondered if Caralyn had even heard her.

“Please listen to me, Aline,” Caralyn said. “I know exactly how you feel. The only difference between you and me is that you came with two sisters, and I came with two daughters. When Robbie asked me to marry him, I turned him down because I didn’t believe that I was worthy of marrying a laird’s brother.

“I had been married to Ashlyn’s father, but he died in a fishing accident, and I lived alone with her after his death. It wasn’t long before a man found me and forced me to do things against my will. He threatened to hurt my daughter if I did not do as he asked. A few moons later, he began to bring his friends along, and I had to service them. You see, it was the only way I could make sure my daughter had food in her belly. It was winter, and we had naught.”

Aline suddenly had to stand. The similarities were too much. She stood in front of the hearth, staring at the flames.

“There’s more,” Caralyn said. “Gracie came along, so I was left alone for a while. But it was not long before we were without food again. I foraged and did my best to catch fish when I could, but I was never skilled with a bow, and we went hungry more often than not. I could not stand to see my bairn cry from hunger. Ashlyn was strong, but Gracie was too young.

“I did what I had to do to make sure my daughters had full bellies. The man came along with a bag of turnips and carrots and beans, but I could have them only under certain conditions.”

Caralyn paused, as if letting it all settle in to Aline. She could not believe how similar their situations were. Yet here she was, a valued member of the Clan Grant. Aline never would have guessed it about her. She glanced over her shoulder at Caralyn, hoping she would continue.

“When I met Robbie, I was so ashamed for what I had done. I told him I was not worthy to be his wife because that is what I believed, but no longer. My daughters came first, and my husband taught me that I should be proud of that.” She swiped a tear away from the corner of her eyes. “And I am. They survived, I survived, and we were welcomed into the most wonderful clan in all of the Highlands. And you will be welcomed here, too.”

Caralyn moved over and wrapped her hand around Aline’s shoulder and turned her so they were facing each other. Then she clasped her hands. “You were forced to do what you did. True?”

Aline couldn’t speak, but nodded her head, staring at the floor.

“Would you have gone with him and done what you did if he had asked you nicely?”

Aline was horrified at the thought. “Nay, never!”

“See my point.” Caralyn lifted Aline’s chin so their gazes met. “‘Tis not your fault. You did what you had to do to survive, for both you and your sister. We all forgive you for that. Now you need to forgive yourself. And trust me, that is the hardest of all.”

Aline began to sob and Caralyn held out her arms. Aline fell into her embrace and sobbed until she had no more tears.

When she finally stopped, Caralyn cupped her cheeks and said, “The only two people who can decide if you belong together are you and Jake, no one else.”

Mayhap she was worthy of a future laird.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jake sat in the solar with his sire, his brother Jamie, Uncle Robbie and Aunt Caralyn. Ashlyn and Magnus were there as well.

Alex started the discussion. “I’ve called this meeting because we need to decide how to proceed next. Hew Gordon is dead, but we have no proof that Ranulf MacNiven is dead. He was not among the dead bodies as far as we could determine. I’ve also had several scouting groups in the Highlands, and we’ve turned up naught. I do not think he’s dead, but we know not where he is.”

Jamie asked, “Mayhap he had another place to hide. He’d only been with Gordon for a short time. There are a couple of moons between his supposed hanging and when he showed up in the Highlands. Where has he been? What did Uncle Logan think?”

“Uncle Logan is returning to King Alexander to tell him that we have indeed seen MacNiven, and ‘tis possible he is still alive.” Alex steepled his fingers in front of his face, leaning back in his chair.

“Mayhap the king will have a suggestion on how he wishes to handle this,” Jamie said.

Uncle Robbie said, “One other thing we can do is send a group of guards back every fortnight to see if anyone has returned to Castle Dubh. I would consider the possibility that he’s hiding in a cave and plans to return to Castle Dubh once everything calms down.”

Ashlyn spoke up, to everyone’s surprise. “I think we should send out a search party. Search the entire area for unusual activity again, but wait until he thinks we’ve given up. I’d be happy to lead the search, my laird.”

“Ashlyn!” Her mother jerked back in shock. “Why?”

Robbie and Magnus both responded in the same way. “Like hell!” The two of them looked at each other before glaring at Ashlyn. Her father asked, “What the hell are you thinking?”

“I was in the kitchens, or have you forgotten? All that transpired there was not normal. Look at poor Aline. She was held against her will and beaten. Effie was held in the cellar with four bairns, and they were half starving when we found them. Cook said two other lasses who’d lived there had gone missing. Lorna was one, and Aline mentioned a lass named Cedrica. Neither of them have been discovered anywhere in the area. I do not like the feeling that was there. Something is going on, and I want to catch the bastard.”

Jake had to agree with Ashlyn. Something else had been going on at Castle Dubh. “He did steal much of Hew’s wealth. Aline said the two did not get along, but that the chief needed Gordon’s money. Where was he getting it and why did MacNiven need it?” Jake looked at his father, but he could tell he did not have any answers.

His sire added, “Logan also reminded me of one other important point. Do not forget what he said about Glenn of Buchan wanting revenge on us and heading to the Highlands, though he’d have a difficult time of it now that winter is almost upon us.”

Jake stroked his jaw. “Aye, after they’d beaten me and said they were going to kill me, MacNiven had some of his men look at me to see if they recognized me. A couple of them said they’d just come to the Highlands, so could be they came from Buchan. One of them recognized our plaid. He said there were more men headed to Castle Dubh. What happened to them?”

Alex said, “Aye, I do not think we’re done with MacNiven.”

Uncle Robbie started to pace. “I must think about what you’ve said, Ashlyn. I know you’re headstrong, but you’re a lass. You cannot lead a group of warriors.”

She bolted out of her seat and her hands went to her hips. “But I’ve practiced my bow and arrow just as Aunt Gwyneth has taught me. I had another session with Uncle Logan when he was here. Gavin and Gregor and I spent one whole afternoon shooting, and they both gave me pointers. I can take care of myself.”

Jake found himself thinking about what his father had said about women the other night on the parapets, how they learned to be afraid of men. He could see it in Ashlyn. What had happened to her to make her wish to fight alongside the Grant men instead of staying in the keep where she was safe? She didn’t appear to be afraid of men, yet she also didn’t hide the fact that she did not trust many men. Had something happened when she was young, or had something transpired at Clan Grant?

Uncle Robbie stared at his brother, his brow quirked as if he was asking for assistance in the matter. “Brother? Do you wish to send Ashlyn out leading a group of warriors?”

Alex sighed, pursing his lips in thought. After a pause, he said, “Ashlyn, ‘twould be premature and rash to send you out now, especially since we’ve already scoured much of the area. I would propose we wait until Uncle Logan sends a messenger back with information from the king. If the king wants him caught, he may order us to go in search for him. If so, I’ll send a group out.”

Ashlyn managed to sit down and compose herself. “May I lead the group, if it happens?”

Jake could see the hope in her gaze. All of a sudden, he was looking at lasses differently. He had to admit, Ashlyn had a point, but so did his sire. Would warriors listen to a lass?

“Nay.”

Ashlyn jumped out of her seat. “Would you tell Aunt Gwyneth she could not lead a group? ‘Tis not fair. You say that just because I’m a lass, Uncle Alex.”

“Please sit down,” Alex replied. “You’re not going anywhere at present. Nay, I would not turn Aunt Gwyneth down because she’s been trained to be a spy. You have not.”

Jake could see Ashlyn’s frustration on her face. He thought for a moment she’d cry, but he could tell she fought the impulse, probably because she would consider it shameful to cry in the laird’s solar. She bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood.

A few moments later, his father added, “But I would allow you to travel with my warriors. I would send Magnus as your protector.”

At first, Ashlyn’s face lit up, but then the smile left her in an instant.

“What? Why would I need a protector? I can take care of myself.”

“Ashlyn, I have daughters. I know you think you can defend yourself, and mayhap you can at a distance, but when it comes to weight and muscle, you would not be able to protect yourself. If a man decided to lay you flat on the ground, climb on top of you, and rape you, you would not be able to fight him off on your own. Magnus would. I’m sorry if my talk shocks you, but you must be aware of what you may run into while traveling away from Grant land. Those would be my conditions. But we wait until we hear from Uncle Logan.”

Robbie said, “Do not take it as an insult, Ashlyn. You’d be the first female to travel with the Grant warriors, just as Aunt Gwyneth travels with the Ramsay warriors.”

Jake could see a variety of the emotions cross Ashlyn’s face, but she finally leaned back in her chair and smiled at his sire.

“My thanks, Uncle Alex.”

Then she glowered at Magnus, who grinned.

***

Aline had to admit that she was not feeling well. She lay back on the bed in their cottage, rubbing her belly because she felt like heaving. Effie had told her something she had not wanted to hear.

Effie had said she’d been sick at the beginning of carrying her babe. If so, then it was a near certainty that she was carrying.

Maisie came over and kissed her cheek. “Aline, would you like me to get you some water? I can go to the well and bring home a big bucket.”

Aline smiled because Morna was in the same place she usually was, right next to Maisie. The two had become inseparable, something her mama would have been pleased to see.

Clutching the sheets in her hand, Aline leaned over the basin and heaved her insides out. Morna stood staring at her. She hadn’t started talking in full sentences yet, only in bits and pieces, but Aline could tell she was becoming more relaxed with her family.

Maisie took Morna’s hand and pulled her off to the side. “Morna, Aline is sick again. Come over here and play with the bear Jake brought for you. Let’s play that the bear is sick and we must help him get better, and my rabbit is the healer.”

Aline groaned and wiped her mouth with a linen square, pushing herself to a sitting position. “Are you sure this is a sign of it?” She turned to stare at Effie, who was seated at the table in the middle of the cottage.

“Aye. ‘Tis exactly what happened to me. Is it Hew’s?”

Aline gave her a slow nod.

Effie said, “You must tell Jake.”

Aline glanced at her sisters, and once she was convinced that Maisie was too wrapped up in make believe to listen to them, she said, “How can I? How do you tell a man that you could be carrying someone else’s bairn? What is the word used for the kind of lass?”

“Hush,” Effie barked. “You know that is not true of you. Jake will understand. He will marry you for sure. No one must know. They can all think it belongs to Jake.”

“And if he’s born with fair hair and brown eyes?” Aline dropped her head into her hands, not knowing what to do.

Effie finished her task at the table and moved over to the hearth. “I have to bring this stew up to the great hall. I’ll take Una with me. Will you be all right with the girls playing? I just do not have a free hand for Morna.”

“We’ll be grand. You go ahead.”

Once Effie left, Aline poured water into a basin and washed her face. At the end she rinsed her mouth out with the water and chewed on mint leaves. She peeked out the window, surprised to see the sun. She took her basin outside to empty it, then trudged back inside, though she had to admit the sunshine had felt good on her face, almost cheering her up.

Back inside, she straightened the bed before she fell back onto it and closed her eyes. A knock on the door jolted her up, so she went to open the door, trying her best to hide the fact that she was still in her night rail.

Jake stood outside, and a smile spread across his face as soon as he saw her. His gaze ran from her head to her toes, stopping for a bit more at the rise of her breasts, but she was too exhausted to care. “Come in.”

Jake stepped inside and the two lassies ran over to him, each grasping onto one leg for a hug. “Good morn to all. Effie said you were not feeling well again, Aline. I thought I might take the lassies for a walk so you could rest.”

Could the man be any nicer?

Maisie jumped up and down. “May we, Aline? Please?”

“Thank you, Jake. Of course, you may.” Going outside for any reason seemed to be her sister’s favorite activity. She couldn’t blame her after they both had been kept indoors for so long. She helped them put on their mantles and their scarves, then followed Jake out, Maisie running ahead of him while Morna clutched his hand.

“Be good lasses for Jake,” she called out after them. Jake winked at her and led the way up the hill. Aline closed the door with a sigh and then settled back down on the bed, closing her eyes.

When she awakened, the first sound that reached her ears was the giggling of lassies. Lassies? She bolted up in bed. Aye, she heard Maisie’s laugh and a deep booming voice, but she also heard the giggles of another lass, someone younger. Could it be Morna?

She made her way to the front window and pulled the fur back. Jake and her sisters ran in circles, Maisie and Morna giggling. Whenever Maisie caught him, she said, “Caught you!” He fell to the ground clutching his heart and the two wee ones pounced on him, landing on his belly.

Morna giggled louder than Maisie.

Aline rested her chin on her hand and stared out the window, watching their antics. How she wished she could marry Jake. How many times had she thought of her options? Aye, she could pretend that the bairn was definitely his, but could she look him in the eye if the babe was born with brown eyes?

Tears fell down her cheeks as she watched her sisters loving Jake Grant, the man who had brought out the first sound of laughter from her sister Morna. Aye, Morna would be fine.

But would she? Would she ever love another like Jake? Her tears blossomed into sobs, and she sobbed so hard that she didn’t notice when the three came toward the cottage. They were almost to the door before she dropped the fur and settled on a stool, waiting for the door to open.

Maisie came through first, then Morna followed directly behind her, both of them heading straight for Aline. Jake leaned back against the door while her sisters cuddled her, doing their best to make her feel better.

“Aline, why are you crying?” Maisie asked. “Are you still sick? Does your belly hurt?”

Unable to speak because sobs still racked her body, Aline shook her head. And then Morna surprised them all.

The wee one, who had spoken in bits and pieces since they found her, leaned toward Aline until she picked her up and settled her on her lap. Then Morna kissed her cheek and placed her wee hand up on her shoulder and patted it. She opened her mouth and one word came out.

“Better?”

It was the sweetest word Aline had ever heard.

Aline sobbed even harder, saying, “Aye, Morna, I’m better, much better. My thanks, Maisie. And my thanks to Jake for taking you for a walk.” She swiped at the tears running down her cheeks.

Jake took Maisie by the hand and set Morna down. “Maisie, will you share the pear tart I brought with Morna while I speak with Aline? I heard it was your favorite.”

“Aye. How did you know it was my favorite?” Maisie grabbed the sweet pastry and rushed over to the table. “Come Morna, we’ll eat our treat.”