Jamaica Dreaming (Caribbean Heat) (25 page)

She shook her head. He felt her shrinking away again.

No, he wouldn’t let her. Sebastian’s mouth descended on her silk–covered breast.

Julissa moaned and writhed. The suction of his mouth on her nipple and, between her legs, the wondrous feel of his fingers on her slippery folds, sent her flying. His thumb flicked her most sensitive bud and Julissa cried out again. She rocked her hips on his hand, wanting him more than she had ever wanted any man before in her life.

“Please,” she whispered, arching her back, her thighs falling open. She tugged gently on him and he shifted, rolling over to pull open a drawer in the nightstand. There was the sound of foil tearing. She helped him roll the rubber down and then guided him to her hot, moist entrance.

Sebastian’s breathing grew ragged as he eased himself inside her. Desire pounded him with tiny fists, driving him to plunge in quickly, but he wanted to savor this, his first time with her.

“You’re tight, baby,” he murmured in her ear, cradling her lush body in his arms, inhaling the scent of her hair, her body, her desire.

“No,” she said, on a sigh. “You’re large.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, giving himself up to the pleasure of her narrow canal. She was so snug. Then, finally, he was all the way inside, buried in her body to the hilt. Julissa wrapped her legs around him and he could feel her heels digging into his back, pulling him closer. He held himself still and kissed her ears, her nose, her cheeks.

“Nice,” she murmured. “Oh, Sebastian. I like this. I like it. Oh.”

He began to stroke in and out and felt her walls contract. Her hips thrust up to meet his and they bucked against each other. Sebastian’s hands slid down to hold her ass as he pounded himself into her, deliberately grinding himself against her bud.

Julissa whimpered. A storm of sensation gathered itself deep in her belly. She flicked her tongue along Sebastian’s ear, kissed him, sucked his hot skin, bit. She heard his swift intake of breath.

“Hold me, dearest,” Sebastian murmured. He picked up his pace as her contractions tightened around him.

The storm of sensation rose, sweeping Julissa up and taking her higher and higher, surging outward from her core in wave after wave.

“I love you,” Julissa cried out and dimly heard Sebastian’s shout. Her blood roared in her ears. Shudders whipped through her again and again until, at last, they faded and she came back to herself, to him. In the room’s darkness she felt his eyes on her.

“Are you all right, my love?” he asked, his voice hoarse but his concern evident in his tone.

“I’m more than all right,” she whispered, pushing herself up to kiss him. “I’m great.”

“Yes,” he said, deathly serious. “You
are
great.” Maybe, one day, she would get naked for him and allow him to see and touch her scars. He needed her to know he accepted her, scars and all, but he would be patient and wait. Now that she’d come to him, he had time… all the time in the world.

They made love again that night, waking up in the dark and moving into each other like lovers long parted. Sebastian was gentler, slower, but, this time, when their heat erupted, it was twice as powerful as before. Afterward, Julissa fell asleep with a leg and an arm thrown over him, but Sebastian remained awake, listening to the song in his heart, and holding his woman close.

The next morning, Sebastian woke to sunlight flooding his room and the chatter of birds. For a minute, he lay without moving, enjoying the sensation of having woken up from a good night’s sleep. The memory of his lovemaking with Julissa brought a smile to his lips. A flicker of desire uncoiled at the pit of his stomach. He rolled over to see if she was awake and felt a stab of disappointment. She wasn’t there.

“Julissa,” he called, thinking perhaps she was in the bathroom. There was no answer so he padded over to check but it was empty. He leaned over the railing on the landing. “Julissa!” His voice echoed in the stillness of the house.

Worried now, he strode back inside to put on his clothes and that’s when he noticed the yellow stickie on the night–table beside what had been, he guessed, his side of the bed.

“
Good–morning, Sebastian. I’ve gone back to the guest–house. I’m fine, but I just need a little me time to think about things. Julissa XXX
”

Sebastian’s hand reached for the cellphone. He scrolled for her number and was just about to press Enter when he got hold of himself. No. Julissa needed her space right now. What had happened last night had been glorious and beautiful and, hopefully, it would happen again and again for the rest of his years on earth, but that was
his
dream. That was the wish with which he, Sebastian, had lived for the past year and a half. It was different for Julissa. She’d only just met him, only just realized the depth of his feelings for her. More importantly, Julissa had only just remembered Earle’s devastating betrayal of her love. Trusting herself when it came to men was going to be difficult for her. Sebastian knew he’d have to be patient. She’d allowed him to make love to her and had responded to his caresses with a fervor which delighted him, but he had to take things slow. Let her lead.

Later, after he’d showered and fixed himself a regular breakfast of bacon and eggs, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed.

“What’s up?” a deep male voice answered.

They exchanged small talk for a little while, asking after each other’s families, and then Sebastian got down to business. “I need you to find this person for me. He’s probably here in Ochie, but he should be leaving today. If he doesn’t, I want to know about it.” He gave the man Earle’s details.

“That’s it? Just find him?”

“That’s it. If he’s still here tonight, I’ll take it from there.”

There was a chuckle on the other end. “All right, bredren. You wanna tell me what this’s about?”

“No.”

“Going all inscrutable–Chinese on me, eh?”

Sebastian grinned. “Something like that.”

After he’d hung up from that call, he made another one.

“Hello.”

Just that was enough to send warm shivers straight through him. “Hello, sweetheart. I just wanted you to know I’m going to be in the pool later. I mean, in case you come by the house and can’t find me.” He was lying. He just wanted to hear her voice.

“Maybe I’ll come join you.”

“You will?” He was both surprised and delighted.

“I think a swim would be lovely. Last night was wonderful, Sebastian.”

“But?” His heart quailed. What was she going to say next?

“No, ‘but.’ It’s just… I feel so confused. My head is like it’s spinning, all these thoughts just whirling round and round. The only thing I’m certain of right now is how good you make me feel, but I don’t want to jump into anything too quickly. I need time. Do you understand, Sebastian?”

“Yes, my love. I’ll give you all the time in the world, if you promise me you’ll be mine at the end of it.”

He heard her shuddering intake of breath. “I—Sebastian, please. There’s still so much you don’t know about me.”

“Nothing about you can stop me from loving and wanting you, Julissa. If you believe nothing else, believe that.”

Now, it was her turn to be silent.

“Julissa—”

“I’ve got to go, Sebastian.”

“Julissa.” The only response was the dial tone.

A few minutes later, Sebastian’s cell rang. He listened in silence to the voice on the other end, his emotions conflicted. “All right, good. Thanks.” He ended the call. Earle was at the Sir Donald Sangster Airport in Montego Bay, waiting to board a flight to Chicago. Sebastian would have preferred it if the man had decided to ignore his threat and stay on the island but, perhaps, it was just as well he was going. He hoped Earle would never cross his path again because he wasn’t sure he could be held responsible for what he’d do.

He opened his email and thumbed in a message. “Enjoy that rum punch you’re drinking. Now that you’re leaving, it won’t have to be your last.” He pressed Send, then tossed his phone on the couch and went up to change into his swim trunks.

***

Julissa had planned to pretend nothing had happened last night, nothing beyond two hungry bodies coming together for a little sex. Okay, a lot of mind–blowingly awesome sex. But, that was it. Yet, there she was, that morning, baring her soul to him.

Julissa reheated the cup of coffee she’d been drinking when Sebastian called and went to sit in one of the Adirondack chairs under a spreading mango tree. She felt as nervous and excited as a schoolgirl, but she also felt panicky and scared. It was easy for Sebastian to say he loved her. He hadn’t seen her scars. Even if he’d felt them last night, despite her best efforts, touching them in the dark was vastly different to seeing them in the harsh, unblinking light of day.

Julissa took another sip of coffee, savoring its rich, full–bodied slightly nutty flavor. Flax Hall Coffee. Sebastian’s coffee. She wondered when they’d go to his farm. She longed to see this place that he loved so much. In truth, she longed to know everything about him. And that was love, wasn’t it? Wanting to know the loved one through and through. That was why she’d always held back a little from Earle because she’d sensed a reserve about him, sensed something was a little off. She’d never known what it was, never been able to put it in words, but now she knew.

It was strange how when she thought about Earle now, it was with such a huge feeling of relief and lightness. She’d been utterly devastated seeing him with Tony and she still felt a dull ache somewhere at the back of her head, but the overwhelming feeling was that of a load lifted. It wasn’t just because she’d had such great sex with Sebastian though, of course, that played a part. It was knowing she was free again, free to love and be loved. But, no, not yet. Not truly.

Julissa hugged herself, thinking hard, her mind awhirl. For several minutes she was lost in space, roused only when a tiny yellow–breasted bird started chattering away to itself in the branches overhead. Julissa went inside quickly to find a piece of bread which she crumbled and threw to the ground, settling herself back on the chair to watch as the bird flew down from the tree and began pecking at the crumbs. She smiled in simple pleasure at its antics and, after it flew away, she stayed outside a little while longer hoping it would come back.

When it didn’t and the heat of the day got to her she retreated to the cool, shadowed interior of the guest villa where she changed into the one–piece swimsuit Deej had made her buy. It was a very modest style and completely covered her breasts and bottom. The scars that ran under her right arm, over her breast, and down to her hip were completely hidden. The scars on her thighs were not. Disfiguring ridges of ropy, damaged flesh and patches of unnaturally shiny, lined skin over a long sunken area as large as her hand, told the story of what had happened to her.

Julissa squeezed her eyes shut. She hated seeing what the accident had done to her.
You are who you are, not what you look like
. It was something she’d said to the kids at Joyce’s school. Julissa opened her eyes and stared at her thighs. She hadn’t thought of it before but, suddenly, she realized she had more in common with Joyce than their dark skin. They were both allowing something that was only skin deep to define them. How could she look Joyce in the face the next time she saw the young girl, if she didn’t make an effort to get over this? Sebastian said he loved her. Well, it was time to see if he really meant it.

Julissa slipped on her flip–flops, squared her shoulders, and walked up the path to Sebastian’s house, skirted the corner and made for the pool.

Sebastian was there, floating lazily on his back, his eyes closed. Julissa feasted on the sight of him, his toned golden body, spread–eagled and relaxed. He was perfect, so perfect from the tip of his head to his long, narrow feet. And, she wasn’t. A sudden panic seized her and she had to struggle with herself not to turn and run.

Julissa cleared her throat. Sebastian’s eyes snapped open. He brought himself gracefully upright, treading water. She saw his expression of joyful pleasure shift, change. His eyes widened almost imperceptibly and he drew a long, ragged breath as he took her in, his eyes running all over her body.

Julissa stood still, displaying herself, but quivering beneath her skin, her heart pumping wildly like a rabbit’s caught in a trap. Her knees felt cold, weak. Sebastian began to walk out of the pool but he never removed his eyes from her body. She couldn’t read his expression. What was he thinking? As he rose out of the pool, dripping, she gave a small unhappy sigh. He was so beautiful, like some kind of god, how could he possibly want her? She’d been wrong to do this. She should simply have enjoyed the sex and not hoped for more. Sebastian hadn’t known, couldn’t have known, how damaged she was. There was nothing she wanted to do more than turn tail and run but she felt rooted to the spot. When Sebastian was right in front of her, she inhaled the scent of chlorinated water on his sun–kissed skin as her blood thundered in her ears.

“Julissa,” he murmured. “My Julissa.” He bent and brushed her lips with his. She felt his fingers at her shoulder–straps. “May I?”

She nodded. Yes, she wanted him to see all of her, to know. If there was to be anything between them, anything lasting, then it started here, now, with this revealing of her marked body.