“I’m not human.” Backing up, she hit the table behind her. “You know about us. Shifters, don’t you? Why didn’t you say something the other day?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve got…I’ve heard things, but that’s all.” He nodded and took a step toward her. “No. Don’t touch me. I’m…I have to get out of here. I have to get my money and go home.”
“Addison, I’m not going to let you go with this between us. I’m a shifter, a wolf. Who do you know that’s not human? Is it Duncan? Or maybe someone else?”
“I have to go.” She grabbed up what she could find and moved to the door. She heard him coming toward her, but she didn’t want him to touch her. If he did she might find out how repulsed he was by her. When he reached the handle to the door before she could, she moved back from him and flinched when he lifted his hands up.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to unlock the door and let you out. I’ll stay here until you get dressed again.” Nodding, she moved out of the door and heard it close behind her. Pulling on her clothes as fast as she could, Jarrett spoke to her from the other side. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never do that. But I’d like to know why you’re so afraid right now. Please just talk to me.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” But she did. And her level of fear was making her blind to her surroundings. Twice she bumped into a desk, and when she nearly fell over the chair that was in the outer office, Jarrett came out of the office. “I can’t talk to you. I need…I need to just go to my camper and chill. I need…I need to be alone.”
“I can’t do that. Not after what happened in there.” She backed from him when he took a step toward her. “Come to my apartment and I’ll leave you alone. I won’t talk unless you want to. I would take you to your camper, but Slone is not going to let you go there and be alone either. Just come back with me.”
“I don’t want you to touch me.” He nodded and moved slowly to the door. She supposed he was treating her like she was on a ledge, talking to her gently and softly so she wouldn’t jump. Addie thought he had it right, she was on the edge. “I’ll go, but you can’t touch me or I’ll just leave.”
“All right.” He opened the door for her and she slipped past him. Waiting by the elevator for it to come, she didn’t even look at him. Her entire mind was focused on one thing…to get as far from him as she could.
Addie expected him to say something once they were in the large conveyance that was the elevator, but he didn’t say a word. And true to what he’d told her, when they got to his apartment, he stayed away from her. Not entirely—the apartment wasn’t that big—but he did leave her alone. Addie sat on the couch and stared at the dark television.
Addie had a lot of things running through her mind at the moment…the man behind her first and foremost, and what he’d said to her. He wasn’t human. That didn’t frighten her as much as the fact that she’d never considered herself one either. Not with what she could do. And he was right in the fact that she knew a few non-humans. A vampire had been her friend for a while now, as well as a woman who was staying on her property hiding out for a while. She’d no more harm her than Steward Thomas would. But her sort of creepy was enough to have someone hurt her.
She’d been five the first time it had happened. Addie had wished every day since then that she’d simply left things the way they were. Had simply walked away from the person who had come out of the bank and bumped into her. He’d killed three men in there, and had taken most of the money that had been in the drawers. She’d screamed out his name, knowing it all just from the simple touch, and he’d been caught and arrested. Wiping at the tears, she nearly screamed when Jarrett said her name.
“I have to go downstairs to work. I wanted you to have a key in case you have to leave to go somewhere.” He put a set of keys on the counter. “I have a truck sitting in the back of the lot. It’s blue with dark windows. Just…I’d like for you to let me know when you leave, so I don’t come home to an empty house.”
“All right.” He stared at her for several seconds, then nodded once and left. She heard the click of the lock and slid from the couch to the floor. The sobs were harsh, tearing at her throat until she knew that she’d be sore from it. Curling into a tight ball, she lay there letting all her pain pour from her in a way she’d not done in a long time. Not since the night she’d buried her father.
“Why did you leave me?” She’d asked her dad that since the night he died, leaving her alone. “I wish you were here now. With me. I need you, Daddy.”
He never answered her, of course, and she didn’t really expect him to. But even after all this time, the pain of what she’d not been able to do for him still haunted her. Even in her dreams, the nightmares that came to her so often made her relive what she’d been told had happened that night.
The nurse, a woman she’d never liked, had been with him in his final hours. Her daddy had told her to go out. To be a woman for one night. It had been her birthday and he’d wanted her to go out for him. But he’d also asked her for more in the way of drugs. The nurse she didn’t like would hold them from him. So Addie had done as he requested and hid the drugs within his reach, only to return and be told that he’d yelled for her for hours before dying, screaming her name over and over to help him, and she’d been gone. The nurse had taken great pleasure in telling her every detail of the last breaths he’d taken, saying her name.
Closing her eyes, Addie let the pain take her. The thought of going on was too much for her, and she wished she was at her camper instead of here. She knew what she’d do if she was there. Knew where the pills were. And failing that, she had read up on gas leaks and what happened to the body when it died from one. Yes. Had she been in her camper, she’d know just what she needed to do. But here…? Addie decided that as soon as she could, she was going to leave here, and get as far away as possible. It was time, way past time.
Chapter 5
Slone watched Jarrett for five minutes before she cleared her throat. He looked up at her as if he’d never seen her before. Then when he did focus on her, she wanted to pull him into her arms and simply hold him. Of all the Emerson men, she’d always thought Jarrett the most tender-hearted of them all.
“I had to pick her up from the floor last night and put her to bed. She was still wearing the same clothes that she had on at Luke’s office.” Slone put the large bag on the desk and sat down as Jarrett continued. “I wanted to sleep with her, simply hold her to help her, but whenever I get close to her, she…she looks so afraid.”
“Did you talk to her?” He nodded but didn’t say anything more. “Jarrett, have you read the report on her family? Do you know what she’s done? What she’s dealing with?”
“Yes.” He picked up the file. “The nurse recanted what she’d told Addison that night. She knew then that she’d hurt her, but was pissed off that she had to be the one there when he died. The nurse told her supervisor that she’d been mad about the amount of paperwork involved in the death of one of their charges. I guess she’s been fired and her license taken from her.”
“Luke said that no one has told Addie about what happened. He said that her lawyer didn’t even know. And by the way, Mr. Shepard is on his way here. I’ve sent someone for him. I don’t think I like him much either.” The man was a pompous ass of the worst kind, treating her with no respect until he found out what her name was. Then he’d changed his tune to be all “honey” this and “honey” that. Made her sick to her stomach. “He should be here sometime tomorrow.”
“She’ll go back with him.” Slone thought so too. Not willingly, either, if she’d read the man right. “I don’t know what to do. She won’t talk to me. Just sits there on the couch and stares at the blank television. I hurt for her, Slone.”
“I know you do, honey. I wish I could tell you how to help her, but I have talked to Tim for you. He said that all you can do is be there when she needs to talk and to hold her when she cries. Does she? Cry much, I mean?”
“Not when I’m around. I know she does though. Her face is stained with the tears, her eyes are swollen from them. And no matter what I do, I can’t get her to eat anything. Today when I left to come here, I took pictures of the cabinets and refrigerator so I could see if she moved anything. I’m sick with worry.” He looked at her then away as he continued. “My wolf wants to hold her. He shimmers along my skin like he wants to help her, but is as clueless as I am.”
Slone knew that Jarrett had talked to Hunter last night. And then this morning he’d spoken to Cash. If he was stumped in how to help her, then Slone was afraid for the younger woman. She’d had an idea to take her out of the house, but Tim had told her not to force it. Slone stood up when Jarrett answered the ringing phone.
She was nearly to the steps that led to the apartment when she heard her. The sound of her sobbing had Slone pause on the steps. If Jarrett had heard these sounds at any point, it made her wonder how he was sitting down here and not up there with her. Slone had to do something.
Knocking on the door once, she turned the handle and let herself into the room. Addie was just where Jarrett had said she’d be, sitting on the couch bundled in a blanket. Slone looked around the room and could see that if she had eaten, which was doubtful, she’d cleaned up after herself.
“I’m Slone Emerson. I’m sister-in-law to Jarrett.” When Slone sat in front of Addie, it was as if she were looking into soulless eyes. “You look terrible. And I’m betting you’ve lost weight too. What are you trying to do, kill yourself?”
The softly spoken yes had her heart hurt. “I would like to be alone, please. I know you’re only trying to help, but other than taking me to my camper, I don’t think there is much you can do.”
Slone decided that the first thing she was going to do when she got back home was have the camper put under lock and key. She had no idea if there was anything in it that Addie could take, but she was going to be sure that she never got to it.
“I want to take you out. Then when we’ve gotten you something to wear, I’ll…I’m going to make sure you get to your home.” Addie didn’t move, nor did she acknowledge that she’d spoken. “Addie, Duncan is coming here. He’s worried about you. And so is Jarrett. You’re scaring us all.”
“I really don’t want to talk to Duncan right now. He’s doing things that he…I want to be alone.” Slone nodded and stood up. But instead of leaving her, Slone pulled Addie from the couch and led her to the bedroom. She came with her without a fight, and Slone had a moment to wonder if she was taking something even now. Leaning into her shoulder, Slone couldn’t smell anything but she was still concerned. Turning on the water to a nice warm temperature, Slone decided that she’d do this her way…by bullying her.
“First things first. A shower. I know that once I have one, I usually feel much better. At least until the morning sickness kicks in. Who knew a person could throw up so much and still function?” After getting her stripped of the clothes, she pushed her into the running water. After she stood under the spray for several minutes, Slone was relieved when she reached for the shampoo over her head. When it was apparent that Addie was going to clean up, Slone went to the bag she’d brought up with her.
There was three shirts and two pair of pants in the bag. They were all new, as she’d purchased them this morning before going to see Jarrett. They were the soft, stretchy kind of material, things she thought she’d like to wear during this part of her pregnancy. The several pairs of panties were going to fit, but she was at a loss on the bra. She supposed that Addie could go without, and thought Jarrett might like that better anyway.
When the water turned off, she waited to see if Addie would come out. When she did, with a towel wrapped around her, Slone noticed the scars. They were long and still pink. When Addie noticed that she was looking at them, she put her hands behind her back.
“I failed.” Slone had no idea what to say to her, so waited. “You said you’d take me to my camper. I’d like to go there now, please.”
“No, what I said was we’d go shopping, then I’d take you home.” She looked away from her. “I bought you some clothes. I don’t know why we didn’t bring you back some sooner when Jack said we would, but I get really tired quickly nowadays. The baby has me all messed up most of the time. Then there is getting ready for the full moon party.”
Addie took the clothes, and Slone reached out and took her hand into hers. When she pulled away, Slone held her until she let her look at the scar.
From the reports that Shawn had given her, Slone knew that she’d not just cut her wrists, but had stabbed the knife all the way through her arms and sliced down. And not only had she done this once, but to both her wrists. Had it not been for the man who had found her putting his belt and a dishcloth around her arms and holding her while he called for an ambulance, she would have died within minutes. As it was, she’d been in surgery for several hours just to repair the damage that she’d done.
“There were so many times in my life that I wished I had taken this route.” Slone ran her finger over the thick scar and then looked at Addie. “I was changed into a wolf without my consent, my father was murdered for money, and my stepmother tried to drown me so that she could inherit it all. I know what you’re feeling in the loss of your father. Mine was the world to me.”
“The nurse told me that he called for me when I was gone. I should have been there for him.” Slone shook her head and started to tell her that it was not true. The nurse had said that as soon as Addie had left, he’d slipped into a coma and never woke from it. “I could have helped him more than I did. Better than I did.”
“How?” Addie pulled from her again and Slone let her. There was something there. Something that she wasn’t telling anyone. “Addie, what could you have done to help your father?”
Instead of answering her, Addie picked up the clothes again. She held them to her body like a shield but said nothing more about their conversation. When she turned from her, pulling her pain-filled eyes from hers to enter the bathroom again, Slone sat down on the bed.
Are you all right?
Hunter touched her mind, and she could feel his concern.
Where are you, honey? I want to come to you.
I’m at Jarrett’s with Addie. Oh, Hunter. I never realized what pain this woman has. She…I think your dad is right. She will try again to kill herself if we don’t help her.
What can we do? I know little to nothing about depression, especially on the level you’re talking about.
She told him she was looking into it.
Bring her here. Maybe she needs to be around a family. And in the event you didn’t know it, we’re a hell of a family.
That we are.
But she was somewhat afraid to take her close to the camper right now. Even if it was locked up, Addie might be able to find a way to get into it. And for as much as she’d like to help the girl, Jarrett was her first concern, because she knew that if anything happened to Addie, Jarrett would die.
I have to do some things here in town with her. Take her shopping and the like. I’ve had rooms set up for her and Duncan for when he arrives, and one of the lower offices set up for him to use while he’s here. Oh, and Shawn is coming as well. He wants to talk a few things over with her lawyer.
Is there something going on there? Maybe something underhanded we should be aware of?
She told him that she wasn’t completely sure, but she had a feeling that there was something wrong, and that she wanted Shawn to have a look at what she was invested in.
All right. I’ll see you when you get home. Be careful.
Addie came out of the bedroom just as she closed the connection with Hunter. She stood up and noticed that while she was dressed nicely, nothing really fit her. Addie was too thin, even for her small, compact body.
“Have you had any lunch?” Addie had that distant faraway look in her eyes that Slone felt all the way to her wolf. She, too, wanted to help the girl, but until they knew what to do, helping was going to have to come in stages. “I need to eat. The baby won’t let me go for long without food.”
“She’s healthy.” Addie moved to the kitchen, leaving Slone to stand there thinking about what she’d said. When Addie pulled a glass from the cabinet then sat down without filling it, Slone went to the kitchen with her.
“What is it you can do?” Addie didn’t even look at her while she sat there. Taking her chin in her hand, Slone turned Addie’s face so that she had to look at her. “You can feel my child. What else can you do?”
“I’d like to die, please.” It was said so softly and so matter of factly that she knew that in her heart, this child was telling her not what she thought, but what she wanted.
“I can’t let you do that.” Addie nodded and pulled away from her. “Addie, tell me why you want to die. I’m not going to help you, but I’d like to know why you think you have nothing to live for.”
She got up then and stared out of the kitchen door. It led to a smallish deck that had a grill on it, but no room for anything else. Even the view was a lot to be desired. Slone didn’t think she was going to answer her but when she did, Slone felt her eyes fill.
“When I was a child I bumped into a man that had just killed three people. I not only knew it, but had seen how he did it, and all the blood that had spread beneath their bodies when he did. I was five years old and to feel it, to know it…I started screaming and the police came and got him. He’d robbed the bank and killed those people for just under five thousand dollars.” Slone wanted to ask questions but wasn’t even sure where to start when Addie continued. “I suppose the monster was always there. I’d be able to see things well before they happened. Tell my dad things about his inventions that he’d have to change so that no one would be hurt, like from an explosion with a misplaced bolt or a wiring problem that would kill an entire apartment building of people. But it opened everything that was…I guess you could say hidden.”
“And since then, you’ve been trying to keep it hidden from everyone?” Addie nodded but said nothing more. “Can you read everyone? Is that what you meant when you said you couldn’t help your dad?”
“He called for me. I was…it was my birthday and he wanted me to have a night off. I’d been sitting with him for days. The doctors had told me that it was going to be soon, his death, and I wanted to be with him. He wouldn’t…he wanted me to be with him, but he told me to leave him that night. I knew. I knew what he was going to do and helped him.” Addie turned then and stared. Slone was pretty sure that she wasn’t seeing her but her dad. “I didn’t have a good time. I was so worried about him. I cut the night short and left for home. But I ran into some problems…mostly traffic, and I was too late.”
“The nurse lied to you. He didn’t call for you but slipped quietly into his death.” Addie nodded but said nothing. “Do you believe me or did you already know that?”
“I knew that she lied to me that night.” She looked at her then, and Slone knew a kind of scary fear that she’d never felt before. “You’re afraid of me. I won’t hurt you. I wouldn’t want to unless you continue to lie to me about me being able to leave.”
“I’m not. You can’t leave.” Addie nodded but said nothing more. “Why, if you knew, did you try and kill yourself? You had a great deal to live for from all accounts.”
“What would that be? My father? No, he was dead. Mother passed away when I was born. I have no one else, no family, and no friends. I’ve been on the run for nearly five years, trying my best to outrun my depression, and it’s not working. And then things started to fuck up at the company, and I have to….” Addie sat down and picked up the glass again. “I’ve been fighting depression since I can remember. You have no idea what it’s…I suppose you would. But I don’t have to deal with it, and it’s no one’s business what I do to end my life.”