JAX: MC Biker Romance (New Adult Contemporary Bad Boy Romance) (15 page)

Leaving the range, he thought about where he could go and, for a moment, he thought about returning to the bar, although he knew he should cut down on his drinking, but as he approached, he suddenly felt saddened by the place. There was something so perverse about his buddies drinking and having fun while people like Damian were dead.

He slowed to a stop and looked in through the window. Behind the bar, Tina was flirting with one of his friends and laughing, as she fingered a strand of hair playfully. In front of her, a large group of his buddies were jovially pushing each other about, laughing and joking. It seemed so unfair and he felt the rage swell up inside of him, and the guilt.

He revved his engine and sped away annoyed, wanting to see nothing but the open road and the peace that only the night could bring. Riding beneath the stars, he gazed up to see them shimmer from beyond the darkness and he felt tears begin to surge from behind his eyes. But David never cried, so he gripped his handlebars tighter and focused on the road ahead, counting the white lines, as they passed him in a blur.

In the distance, a lorry was seen approaching, as it came from the horizon. It was large and looming and took up the entire width of the other lane. The nearer it drove to David, the more it seemed like an attractive target and something about it made him think something he'd never thought before.

The images came to him fast, terrible visions of his bike going beneath the wheels of the truck with his body being sucked under the enormous vehicle. Never before had he thought of ending his life, but in the moment, it was all too much to bear, the memories and the everlasting pain, the deep loneliness and the feelings of failure. He wanted so desperately to make it stop.

He gripped the handlebars and gradually, inch by inch, began to swerve toward the other lane. As the lorry approached, his headlights shone in through the windshield and illuminated the driver. His face was calm at first, barely registering the biker in front of him. However, his face twisted in disbelief when he saw David approach at an angle, as he rode diagonally, sweeping across the lanes with a tortured look in his eyes.

David could see his shocked expression and watched, as he silently mouthed "No! What are you doing?"

And then, he was so close to the vehicle he could feel the wind on his face from its tremendous speed. The driver signaled the horn and blasted it furiously and, as David heard it, he felt as though he was waking from a trance. He saw what he was doing and at the last minute, he thought twice and swerved away with only his knee grazing the side of the truck.

He righted himself on the proper side of the road and felt his heart beating so fast he could hear it.
What the hell was I just doing?
He was terrified of his own actions, so utterly bewildered at himself for behaving as though he was out of his mind. In the field, he was known for always having a cool head, even in the most dangerous situations, so what was he just doing?

For the first time in David's life, he felt genuinely scared and he raced down the highway as he looked forward to being in the safety of his home.

*****

Marie couldn't get the man out of her mind. He had trouble written all over him, but that's what made him so attractive. After he'd left her office, she'd gone through the motions of treating her patients, but as each of them left, her thoughts would return to the cocky Navy SEAL and his dirty mind.
How is he doing this to me?
She lowered her head into her hands and sighed.
Stay away from him, Marie, He'll use you and abuse you.
She tried to tell her self over and over again, but it was no use. She was desperate to see him again and, as she thought about that one cheeky kiss they shared the night before, she grew wet inside her panties.
No, stop
, she tried to tell her body, yet the more she tried to stop becoming aroused, the wetter she became.

As the last patient of the day said their goodbyes, Marie hurried to her car with David's file safe inside her bag.
Get your act together, Marie
, she encouraged herself to snap back to reality, as she turned the key in the ignition. It was times like this when she wanted to have her Harley, but as fun as it was, you couldn’t ride them to the office in a pencil skirt.

Sitting back into the seat of her sedan, she thought about her motorcycle and how David had appreciated it. Her mind drifted, as she dreamt of scenes of them riding together with nothing but wild sex and adventure on their minds, as they embraced the open road.

A car honking broke her from her daydream and she realized she was static at a red light with an impatient driver behind her.

"Crap!" she sped away, raising her hand behind her to show she was sorry.

She had to admit then that this guy was really getting to her and, as she pulled into her driveway, she practically sprinted from her car into the house. She was barely inside when she began to pull off her clothes, letting them fall discarded, as she walked up the stairs. Turning on the shower, she let the steam fill the bathroom before climbing under the hot stream of water.

She relaxed right away and let her muscles become at ease, as she soaped her toned and supple body. It felt good to be away from the clinic and the thoughts of her patients. As much as she cared for all of them, she needed time to herself and, coming home to a hot shower often felt like pressing a reset button in her mind.

However, she'd be lying to herself if she said she didn't want to push her hands out between her legs. She tried to fight the urge for several minutes, but she was so wet between her lips as she thought of David. Without being able to tear her thoughts from him, she relented and let herself fantasize of being held inside his large, muscular arms.

Pushing her hand down, she was beginning to tremble already, as she felt her clitoris become slick with wetness and swollen with the heat of arousal. She massaged it for a second and felt a torrent of pleasure pulse through her and she pulled away, feeling guilty at fantasizing over a patient.

"What am I doing?" she whispered to herself, as she looked down at her body.

But, she couldn't stop the thoughts, his hard body pressed against hers and the way his strong fingers would be running all over her body. More than anything, she wanted to feel his hardness between her hands, as she stroked him. She'd be slow at first and gentle, but as he would reach the brink of orgasm, she'd pump her hand up and down faster, then faster until he'd climax all over her, his face twisted in ecstasy.

Marie couldn't control herself, as she thought of him and she pushed her fingers inside her, hitting her g spot. It made her contract around her hand and she bit her lip, as the extreme wave of pleasure washed over her.

"Aaargh," she began to shudder, as she rubbed her thumb up and down her clitoris. "Oh my God!" she screamed loud as an orgasm came to her rapidly.

A few seconds later, she climaxed hard with a torrent of wetness gushing through her fingers as she quivered. Her thighs were trembling and her face flushed with heat. Catching her breath, she turned the shower to cold and tried to shock herself from her fantasies. She flinched, as the icy water hit her back, and finally, she felt relieved from her constant and filthy day dreaming.

"Fuck...." she sighed, as she leaned against the wall, "I need to get my act together."

Grabbing a towel, she dried herself off and slipped into her nightgown before wandering into her home office and sitting at her desk with a glass of wine. She sipped it slowly, as she flicked through the pages of David's file. He was an excellent sharpshooter. In fact, he was so renowned and talented that he had almost risen to mythical ranks with his incredible skills. How then had his friends been ambushed so easily and died with him protecting them. And there was something else that troubled her. As she read, she soon discovered one startling outcome. David was the only person to survive and he would have watched his lifelong best friend die in front of him, as well as his entire troop. That would haunt a man forever but... how come he survived?

The question plagued her, as she sat back in her seat and sipped at her wine in quiet contemplation. She'd served in the military herself for almost fifteen years. Not to mention all the men in her family had also been on tour in the Middle East, but she'd never heard anything like this. Something didn't sound right and, as she resumed her reading of the file, she realized something was definitely wrong.

The case notes from the investigation were typed up at the back and she didn't like what she saw. There seemed to be multiple discrepancies in David's testimony. Nothing seemed to make sense and his story changed multiple times. Of course, veterans were often in shock once they'd returned home, and they occasionally remembered things that didn't happen. It was symptomatic of the mind being subject to trauma, but still, they always remembered the most important details.

"Hmmmm...." she drained her glass and placed it back on her desk with a clunk.

As she finished reading all the notes, there was something else lurking between the lines. His commanding officers never actually said it; they didn't need to, but all the evidence was pointing toward David having some sort of psychotic break and turning on his own men. That can't be true, Marie pondered on the possibility that he was seriously unhinged.

"No," she spoke out loud to herself, as she flung the file in the top drawer. "It can't be."

She always prided herself on putting her patients first and seeing things objectively. There was no definite conclusion that he had done anything wrong, and so she would treat him the same as anyone else. She flicked off the light and closed her office door, heading to bed with a heavy heart.

It just can't be true, can it?

*****

David woke up on his sofa with a stiff neck and a sore head. That wasn't anything new except for the aftermath of the nightmares that were plaguing his mind. They were stranger than before and, as he sat up and rubbed at his temples, he was certain they had been real. It was only when he heard the traffic outside his house and felt his feet firmly on the thick carpet that he realized he was safe and home.

There was something so abstract and peculiar about the nightmares and they possessed a quality they didn't normally have. Damian had spoken to him and that terrified David.

"It's just your imagination, it was just a dream," he told himself, as he stood up and headed for the shower.

Yet, as he let the hot water cleanse his tired body, he couldn't get the words out of his head.

"You did the right thing." Damian had said through the dusty haze of the battlefield. "I'm proud of you brother. Look after yourself."

And then, he had disappeared and drifted out of David's mind.

As he stood in the shower, he felt an eerie chill shudder down his back, and he shivered despite the searing hot water that was steaming up the bathroom.

"Need to get a grip of myself," he slapped his cheeks lightly to try and revive himself.

Of course, he felt as though he was still in a state of shock from the night before. He still couldn't believe that he'd considered taking his own life, even if it was just for those agonizing few seconds. It was then, as he stared at the white tiles of the shower with his forehead pressed against the wall, that he decided he needed genuine help and his mind turned to Marie. It wasn't long until he'd be able to see her, and hopefully, she'd have the answers that could stop his suffering.

With a newfound sense of purpose, he got dressed and headed out on his bike. The sun was high in the sky bleaching everything below it and he reveled in its warmth. Heading out to the countryside, he soaked up the atmosphere of the wilderness and gazed at the beauty of the mountains in the distance. He could always count on fresh air and nature to bring him back to his senses. He rode for hour after hour until he looked at the time and realized it wasn't long until he had to meet Marie.

Heading back into the city, he instantly felt the jarring of the heavy traffic and noise against his psyche. More than anything, he wanted to hide in bed with a bottle of liquor by his side, but that part of him was over or; at least, he wanted it to be.

He glanced down quickly at the fuel gauge and he realized he'd need to fill up. Swerving left into the nearest gas station, he attracted the attention of the nearby customers, but that was nothing new. Everyone gawped and stared at the buff SEAL straddling his loud and heavy Harley.

As he filled up, he heard kids screaming behind him and it was a sound that he hated. He winced at the high pitched squeals and sighed.

"Damn kids," he grumbled.

But, a female voice chimed in and he spun round as he recognized it.

"Please kids, be quiet for just a sec. Johnny! Put that down, stop that. I said put that down!"

She sounded desperate and stressed and, as he looked at who she was, he knew just why. Damian's wife, Suzanne, had been struggling since his death and she looked as though she'd aged about ten years in the last few months. David had always meant to keep in touch with her. It was the least he could do, but something always held him back and he couldn't quite face being inside Damian's home without him.

As he looked to his two young boys in the back seat of the car, he saw Damian's face in both of them and it hurt to think they'd grow up without him. The guilt was burning a hole in him, as he looked at the unhappy family. Suzanne was struggling to put gas in the clapped out, ancient car, and her hair was frazzled and unkempt, her clothes dirty and disheveled. She'd obviously not been taking care of herself and, as David placed the fuel pump back in its holder, he knew he'd have to go over and help her.