“Maybe. But you never told me your name.”
“It's Jaylin. Jaylin âMy Heart Is So Broken' Rogers. I would love for you to help it heal, and I can help yours heal too.”
I looked away again, thinking about going to get some more chicken wings. “Pick me up at seven o'clock for dinner. Don't be late, and I'll let you know what kind of restaurant I'd like to go to.”
I stood to walk away, but he pulled my hand back to him. “Hey, is there any chance you give it up on the first date? Brotha kind of horny, and I can't even remember the last time I had sex.”
“For the record, I'm not that easy. Sorry.”
I walked away, blushing and excited about my date with Jaylin. Now I was more than ready to get my party on. Unfortunately, all of the wings were gone, but there were some awesome crab wraps, which filled my stomach. I got full from them, and the glass of Patrón with lime juice was back in my hand. The more I danced, the woozier I got. The music had gotten even louder. Before I knew it, I was being whisked away to another room. He had his arms around my waist, doing his best to keep me on my feet. We went up the spiral staircase.
When we reached the master stateroom, I dropped back on the bed, which was covered with silk sheets. Through my blurred vision, his stallion-like body looked sexy as hell! I reached for his pants, pulling him to me and unbuttoning them. I was hot all over. As I unbuttoned his suit jacket at his waist, his tight abs were in full effect. I rubbed his nicely carved chest, for he had already unbuttoned his shirt. He dropped his jacket and his shirt on the floor. He stepped out of his pants and leaned toward me. Gentle kisses were being placed down my sweaty and salty neck. He rubbed up and down my legs, taking squeezes on my thighs, which truly turned me on. Next thing I knew, my dress was being lifted up to my waist and my black lace panties were being removed. I saw them being tossed aside. When his thick fingers entered my slit, I backed away from the rotations that set me on fire.
“That feels
sooo
good,” I whispered, taking pecks on his cheeks and moving my mouth over to taste his lips. The kisses were as wet and juicy as ever. Gobs of saliva were being exchanged. When I looked into his loving eyes, I squinted.
“Shane?” I asked, with a peculiar look on my face. He paused, but I winked and smiled, just so Jaylin would know I was joking. Smiling as well, he eased his fingers out of my tunnel. He replaced his fingers with his dick, and that's when I dropped back, smiling with relief.
“Ahhh,
Jaylin. I know how this dick feels any day of the week.”
“The one and only,” he whispered. He started to gradually stroke inside me, causing my pussy to moisten quickly.
I was so messed up, but I intended to take advantage of this night. I needed him, and obviously he needed me too. I rolled on top of Jaylin, straddling his lap. I pulled my dress over my head, causing my perky breasts to stare right at him. As I started to roll myself around, my breasts were in motion. Jaylin reached out to massage my tingling nipples and arousing me even more. I dropped one of my legs to the floor, using it for leverage. Like always, he was deep within me; but unable to take it all in, my wetness covered only part of his shaft. I bounced up and down on him, while rubbing his chest and leaning forward to place delicate kisses on it.
“Mmm,” he said, rubbing my curvy backside and pulling my butt cheeks apart so I could feel more of his hard meat inside me. “
Ahhh
,
baby
,” he moaned. “You just don't know how this feels to me. You got some good-ass stuff, and I'm so glad to be in this pussy again. Thank you, damn, baby, thank you.”
We rocked right along with the yacht, and Jaylin had turned on the music to calm down the intenseness of the mood. Chrisette Michele's “I'm Okay” was playing in the background and the bass was coming through the crystal clear speakers. Jaylin and I took in every word; and slowing down our pace, we stroked each other to the rhythm of the beat:
Time don't stop and wait for pain. Pain does fade away in time./ Guess it all was just a game, when you gave your heart and I gave mine./ I'm okay, I'm just fine. We'd fade away hardly crossed my mind.
I stood up, while Jaylin stood tall behind me. One of his hands was massaging and turning my breast in circles, and his other hand was cuffed over my pussy. He was switching his thick fingers in and out of my slit. Each time his long middle finger entered me, I whined, letting out deep sighs. The words from the song caused tears to roll from my eyes, the message was so powerful. My head was turned to the side, taking in as many kisses as I could from him. As we continued to tongue, he inched me forward close to the bed. I bent over, holding my hands out in front of me to grip the sheets. I separated my legs like an upside-down
V
, spreading them wide. Jaylin squatted, licking and tasting parts of my body where the sun didn't shine. I could barely keep still. As my legs weakened, his tongue became fiercer.
“Help me!” I cried out. “Why do I love you so much like this? God, I love you. Please, please don't ever hurt me again.”
It wasn't long before I sprayed his lips with come and what was left started to flow down my legs. Jaylin wouldn't allow much to go to waste, and after he finished cleaning me, he stood up straight behind me. His hands roamed my hips and ass, touching places that he'd obviously missed.
“You have my word that I will never hurt you again. I swear justâjust give us another chance.”
Jaylin maneuvered his hard iron pipe into me and I tightened my teary eyes. My insides were so tight, making it almost unbearable for either of us to move. According to Jaylin, the feeling was too much for him to handle. He bent down over me, placing delicate kisses on my shoulders and back. “Give me a minute to calm myself, and don't move,” he said, trying to slow his heartbeat. His passionate kisses had me on fire. When he started to stroke me slowly, the sounds of him stirring my juices filled the room. He remained bent down over me. When he saw a tear roll from the corner of my eye, he gently kissed it. So many emotions were going through me.
“Pleaâplease tell me you don't make
her
feel this good. Do you make her feel like this too?”
Jaylin halted his strokes and placed his lips on my ear. “I don't know how she feels,” he whispered. “But no one makes me feel the way you do. No one, okay?”
I slowly nodded, trying hard to evade my thoughts of Jaylin being with Scorpio. His rubs and kisses helped. As he stood tall to stroke me slowly again, my mind was at ease. The lovemaking and the level of passion for each other had gone beyond anything I'd ever felt. He forced me forward with each thrust, lightly slapping his body against mine. I pushed back, sucking in the wetness about to drip from my lips and thinking about how happy my slit was to feel all that he was giving.
Yeah, I was dizzy from all of the action, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the powerful forces that were taking every bit of the air out of my pussy. It wasn't long before I felt his warmness ooze in me, but we were both only down one orgasmâwith plenty more to go. He set me on the very edge of the bed. While I was on my back, he held my legs apart with his hands. He aimed his hardness in the direction that he wanted it to go, opening me wide once again. We both had an opportunity to observe his insertions, attentively watching as his inches disappeared deep inside with each stroke. Pure lust, as well as undying love, was in our eyes. I started to rub myself, particularly playing peekaboo with my clit. Jaylin watched; then he closed his eyes, dropping his head back. He blew air out of his mouth, releasing a deep breath.
“It's time for you to bring this pussy back home to me. You've got to stop making me suffer without this. I'm so crazy about you, Nokea. I'll say it again, you are the only woman who makes me feel this way.”
As well as he was working me over, all I could do was give him my word. “I don't want you to suffer anymore. This pussy belongs to you, and only you, I promise. Make me
commme
,” I strained. “Please make me come again.”
All I had to do was ask, and Jaylin turned my insides like he was churning butter. His rotations were smooth as jazz; and the way he used his strength to hold my legs in place, while digging into me, was so impressive. I couldn't deny how much I'd missed this, even though my insides were killing me. It had been a long time since we had indulged ourselves to this magnitude, and my insides had tightened so much that I could barely endure the beating. I came in less than a minute after that, and we took a moment to regroup. He sat in a chair, while I sat on top, facing him. His arms were tightened around my waist, and my arms were resting on his broad shoulders.
“Have you sobered up?” he asked.
“No, I'm still on a major high. Help me come down.”
“Nah, I don't want you to come down. Stay just like you are, as I have a feeling that I need to take advantage of this day.”
“Please do. I'll do the same.”
He stood, lifting me in his arms and kissing me. At least for ten minutes straight, we did not move. We enjoyed tasting each other's tongues, and all I did was tighten my legs around his waist so I could stay exactly where I wanted to be. A few minutes later, Jaylin went into our closet and put on a pair of swimming trunks. He covered my naked body with my sheer black robe, which I used to cover my swimsuits. He then took my hand and walked me out to the middle deck. We tiptoed to the deck underneath that one and stood close to the edge. The yacht was docked at a nearby island, and the party above us was still going on. Jaylin sat me on the rail; then he asked if I was ready to go for a swim. Before I could say anything, he tightened his arms around me and we both dived into the water.
The splash was loud, but Jaylin continued to hold on to me. We floated in the water, hugging each other, occasionally kissing and looking into the perfect moonlight. Deciding to chill, we made our way out of the water and to the sand. My sheer robe clung to my body, exposing every bit of my nakedness underneath. Jaylin seemed mesmerized as he laid me down in the sand, lying closely beside me. As he stared into my eyes, he used his finger to make wiggly lines down my chest. I felt the words “I love you” being scripted, and we both smiled as he expressed how happy I'd made him tonight.
“You just don't know what this means to me, Nokea. I know this will take some time, but I miss these kinds of nights between us. Don't you?”
All I did was nod. I was living in the moment, and I knew Jaylin was as well. Maybe this was the beginning of our putting our lives back together, or it could possibly be the end of that moment we never, ever got to have. At the moment, I wasn't sure, but being with him tonight was exactly where I wanted to be.
Â
Â
The wedding was beautiful and so darn emotional. Tiffanie's parents' eyes were overflowing with tears, and Shane's mother's sniffles were loud too. As the ceremony was in progress, I peeked over Shane's shoulder to look at Jaylin. He smiled and tapped his heart.
“I love you,” he mouthed, and then winked at me.
Not wanting to make a scene, I nodded and momentarily placed my hand on my heart too.
While listening to Tiffanie and Shane take their vows, I only wished that mine had been taken more seriously. I regretted that they hadn't, and I was sure Jaylin was having some of these same regrets too.
Even so, I still wasn't sure where our lives were headed. I knew that one night of passionate lovemaking wasn't going to solve the issues we had. Because of Scorpio, those issues would forever remain. I wasn't sure if I could ever get to a point where I would completely trust Jaylin again, as that would be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. My answer to whether I would ever be Mrs. Nokea Rogers again, I simply did not know. Right now I doubted it, but I was a firm believer in you should
never, say never
.
JAYLIN
The wedding was over, Shane had moved out, and his mother was now a resident of Miami. I was really glad about that, for she, Nanny B and Loretta got along really well. I, myself, was getting ready for my first date with Nokea today. She told me to meet her at a steak restaurant that we went to on a regular basis, so I told her I'd meet her there at seven. I had no idea where these dates would lead us; but like I said before, it really didn't matter. Nokea would always be considered my wife, and that's all there was to it. Yeah, she still needed time to sort through some things and I was patient, as well as hopeful. I envisioned her living with me again; and whenever that day came, I would be ready.
As for Scorpio and me, I spoke the truth to her that day when I said that I loved her. My love, though, had limitations, and it could only go so far. The sexual connection we once had was fading by the day. I definitely knew why my dick had been acting funny, and so did she. Good sex would only last for so long, but Nokea had guaranteed love from me that would last a lifetime. Did that mean that another woman wasn't capable of ever making my dick hard? No. Did that mean that I would never look at another woman with lust in my eyes? No. Did that mean I would never converse with a woman who approached me? No. For me, I just knew that another woman would never have ownership of my heart. I reminded myself that what I wanted could never take the place of what I needed. I needed Nokea in my life, and that was a need that wouldn't go away.
The kids were in my closet with me, trying to help me find something to wear for my date. Justin was in my arms as Mackenzie, LJ and Jaylene picked through my clothes. They actually started pulling my things off the hangers, and that was a no-no for me.
“Find me one thing to wear. Everybody, pick out one piece of clothing for me. I really want to look spectacular on my date with Nokea.”
LJ gave me a piece of clothing; Jaylene handed me some socks and shoes; Mackenzie gave me what she wanted me to wear too. Justin picked up one of my Rolexes, trying to put it on his wrist.
“Is this the one you want me to wear?” I asked.
He nodded; then he jumped down from my arms. They all ran out of the closet. After I showered and trimmed my goatee, I put on my clothes to go. The kids had gone to the lower level to watch a movie, and I stuck my head through the door, telling Nanny B that I was on my way out. She waved, telling me to have a good time. So did the kids. I thanked them for picking out my clothes for me.
As soon as I got to the restaurant, the waiter looked me over and stopped me at the door. “Will you be joining someone?” he asked.
“Yes, Nokea Rogers. I saw her truck parked outside, so I think she's already here.”
The waiter motioned for me to follow him, but he stopped me when he looked down at my shoes. I had on a pair of brown leather sandals with black dress socks.
“Uh, sir, excuse me, but per our policy, I can't seat guests with those kinds of shoes on.”
“Is the manager here? Let me speak to the manager.”
“He's going to tell you the same thing. If you have some other shoes ...”
“Man, silence yourself and go get the manager. My kids picked this outfit out for me and I intend to wear it.”
The gentleman walked away, returning with a snobby-looking manager who already had “get out” on his face. I pulled him aside, explaining that my kids had picked out my outfit and wanted me to wear it.
He cleared his throat. “With part of your legs showing and the trench coat on, do you mind telling me what's underneath? I mean, we don't want the other guests to be ...”
I opened my black trench coat, revealing my burgundy Calvin Klein boxers, a gray silk tie and my platinum Rolex watch on my wrist.
The man opened his mouth, as I guess my package poking through my shorts might have shocked him. “Sir, I'm sorryâ”
I gripped his shoulder. “Listen. Like I said before, I'm here to have a nice dinner with my wife. The kids picked this out for me to wear, and I am anxious to see a smile on her face.” I knew this wouldn't be easy, so I reached into my coat pocket. I pulled out ten $100 bills. “Here, take this and go buy yourself something nice. If anybody got a problem with me, see what you can do.”
He put the money in his pocket and extended his hand. “Follow me, sir. I hope you and your wife have a lovely dinner, and I will send a complimentary bottle of wine to your table.”
That's what I thought. The manager walked me toward the table, where I could see Nokea from a distance. She looked glamorous in her red pantsuit, as she had definitely gone all out for our date. She saw us coming and her eyes widened. People were no doubt checking out my socks and sandals, but I paid no mind to the whispers. I eased into the booth across from Nokea; all she did was stare at me. The manager reminded me about the bottle of wine and left us in peace.
“Jaylin Rogers,” she said, “what in the heck do you have on?”
I unbuttoned my coat and straightened the tie around my neck. “Do you like it?” She didn't respond, just sat in awe. “LJ picked out my boxers, Jaylene picked out the socks and sandals; Mackenzie picked out the coat.” I raised my sleeve and tapped my watch. “Justin picked out the watch. Wouldn't you say that they have damn good taste?”
Nokea laughed, and that was my only intention.
“Good thing they didn't pick out a set of bra and panties. I guess you would have come in that too?”
I told Nokea that was taking things too far, and we both agreed. She couldn't believe that I sat through dinner dressed as I was. When another man in the restaurant asked where I'd gotten my sandals, I told him. His wife looked at him like he was crazy, and she hurried him out of the restaurant.
After Nokea and I shared an enjoyable dinner, we left. I had other plans, so I asked her to follow me in her truck. She did.
When I parked in front of a storefront location that was empty, she got out of her truck, inquiring about where we were.
I removed a key from my pocket to open the door. “Just come inside with me for a while.”
When we got inside, the nearly 6,000-foot space was empty. The tall white walls were bare, and the marble flooring I'd recently had put down was perfect. In the middle of the floor sat a rug, two plush silk pillows, a bottle of wine and two champagne glasses. A huge box wrapped with a pink bow was nearby, and petals from pink and white roses circled the sitting area. I took Nokea's hand, but she looked skeptical.
“I don't understand. What's this all about?” she asked.
“Come over here with me and have a seat. Then I'll tell you.”
We walked to the sitting area and sat back on the square pillows. “If you don't mind,” I said, removing my coat. “It's getting hot in this coat and I want to get comfortable.”
Nokea looked at me in my boxers, tie and socks. She smiled. “Maybe you should remove the tie too.”
I took off the tie and, just for the hell of it, the socks too. I sat back on the pillow directly across from Nokea, looking in her direction.
“Are you comfortable?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, looking around at the huge open space. “But, whatâ”
“Just hear me out, okay?”
She nodded. I took a deep breath and began to tell Nokea about this place.
“About two months ago, I found this place and purchased it for you. I was surprised by how quickly you jumped back into work. I know you're taking this time away from me to gain your independence, but it bothers me to see you working to build a future for someone else. I know how much of a hard worker you are, and there's no doubt in my mind that with your ideas, you'll take the company you work for to new heights. If you're going to work, I'd rather see you working for yourself. Doing something that you enjoy and making as much money as you desire. Do you remember telling me, when we were growing up, about all that you wanted to do in life?”
Nokea nodded and looked down at her lap. “Yes, I remember. I wanted to design my own line of clothing and have fashion shows complete with runway models. I also wanted to come up with a perfume fragrance that would have women flocking to stores to get it, remember? I talked about having a dance studio andâand I also wanted to teach dance. There were so many things that I talked to you about; but then, life happened, and none of that seemed possible.”
I moved over and sat next to Nokea. I took her hand, kissing the back of it. “It was all possible, but something happened.”
“Something like what? What happened, Jaylin? Tell me.”
“I can show you better than I can tell you.”
Nokea looked puzzled as I moved behind her. My legs were straddling her and I put my arms around her waist.
“What are you doing?” she asked, smiling.
“Just pay attention. Hold your arms up like you're driving. Keep your hands tight on the steering wheel and I'm going to help you hold it.”
Nokea lifted her arms, pretending that she was holding a steering wheel. I did the same, but my hands were on top of hers. I whispered in her ear, “Who's driving this car, me or you?”
“You are. Your grip on my hands ... Well, the steering wheel is so tight and our hands are moving in your direction.”
“That's right,” I said, moving the steering wheel in the direction that I wanted it to go. “For so long, you've allowed me to drive this relationship. And guess what? I drove us into a ditch. When you let other people drive your life, that's what happens. Now I'm gon' let go of the steering wheel. But before I do, I'm gon' help you get out of the ditch. Most men ain't gon' do that, and they gon' leave you in that muthafucka until you figure a way out. However, I'm a nice ... very nice and decent man. If I get you in a mess, I will do my best to get you out. Afterward, I'ma let you drive. Do you think you can handle it?”
Nokea blushed. “I know I can.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
I let go of the steering wheel and Nokea continued to hold her arms up as if driving. She was cutting corners and running over people in her way. “Damn, girl, look at you do your thing. There you go. Now, go tackle all of those things in life that you wanted to do, as each and every one of them is possible. Hold on tight to that wheel and never turn it over to another driver again. Especially not me, because I can be reckless behind the wheel.”
She dropped her arms and laughed. “Oh, don't I know it! Very reckless.”
“I didn't ask for your two cents, but the truth is the truth. I accept it. My point is ... I know you had a chance to talk to Nanny B, and she was so right. What happened was, you stopped dreaming and you put me in the driver's seat of your life. It became all about me, and you spent years and years, trying to do right by me and putting up with my bullshit. Instead of being the kind of husband who motivated you, yet again, I managed to become a setback for you. I regret that, and I'm never going to let you forget about your dreams again. I thought about what you said at your condo the day I confronted you about the baby. You gave me everything that you could, and yet I failed you.
“Now I have to suffer the consequences behind that, but I don't want you to suffer anymore. I want you to live out your life as you wish and bring your life full circle. Bring this place alive, you hear me. Whatever you want to do, the sky is the limit. Come up with a business plan and incorporate Jaylene into your dreams. Teach her how to become independent and strong. Encourage her to follow her dreams, not someone else's. If you lead, she will follow.”
Nokea sat in silence for a while; then she turned around to face me. “I agree. And what else can I say but you're right. As for you failing me, I wouldn't necessarily say it like that, but you did disappoint me. I never thought we'd be here andâ”
I touched the side of Nokea's face. “Baby, I disappointed myself even more. And through all of this, I learned more about me and you.”
Nokea smiled. “Like what? What did you learn from this?”
I got comfortable and laid my head on Nokea's lap. She lay back on the pillow and started rubbing her fingers through my hair. “I love it when you do that,” I said, referring to the way she touched my hair. “I realized some of the reasons behind my selfish and controlling ways. I think I figured out how to overcome, and it starts with you.”
“How so?”
“When I look back on my life, Nokea, I see myself as an only child. Anything I wanted, my mother did her best to get it for me. When she was killed, I had to fend for myself. I was only nine years old. I had to think of ways that I could make my life better. When my grandfather's money came along, I jumped into this all-about-me mode, and it worked well for me. I paid for college; I bought my first house; I found the best job ever.... I basically took care of everything. As far as I was concerned, nobody could enhance my life, as I had done it for myself. When the women started to come along, I felt as if all they could give me was sex.