Jessie (30 page)

It makes no sense,
Jessie said to herself after Seth had gone.
I'm supposed to hate this man, but I'm still drawn to him. I got over him years ago. My life has been just fine without him, but he's starting to fill my thoughts again.

How can this be? He left me! He left Hannah! How can he just waltz in here and pick up where he left off?

As soon as the thoughts materialized, Jessie knew they were unfair. Seth had not waltzed back in. He'd come quietly and humbly and done everything she'd asked of him. Until that very afternoon when he'd corrected Clancy, he'd been very much in the background. And it had not been his idea to move back into the apartment. Jessie had invited him, and it was only fair that she remember that.

Jessie stood and stretched her back. It was early, but she was suddenly tired. She stared at Seth's door and wondered if he was tired too. Times when no door stood between them flooded Jessie's mind. She pushed the thoughts away with an effort and headed into the bedroom with plans to sleep dreamlessly all night.

“Everything all right?” Seth asked softly. He'd come from the bedroom on Monday morning to find Jessie on the sofa, a sleeping Hannah in her arms, both still in their nightgowns.

“She's sick,” Jessie said quietly.

“With what I had?” Seth asked, taking the other end of the sofa.

“I don't know. She's warm, but hasn't complained of a headache.”

“Why don't you let me take the store today?”

Jessie nodded with relief. She had been awake with Hannah since about three o'clock, and her body felt weighted with fatigue.

“Should I get Clancy up?” Seth asked.

“No, it's all right. If she's not up before you head down, I'll just send her to you.”

“All right. I'll head over to the hotel for breakfast.”

“Why would you do that?”

“So I won't disturb Hannah.”

“She'll be fine. Go ahead and make something for yourself.”

As unhandy as Seth was in the kitchen, he did know how to toast bread and butter it. He had several slices, but no coffee, and headed down to ready and open the store.

Watching him go, Jessie could not remember the last time she'd had a sick child and hadn't been forced to divide her time between the store and the apartment. Warm feelings surged through her that she could not bear. She stood with Hannah and put her in Seth's bed. The little girl never woke. Not bothering to dress, she began to make coffee and breakfast, all the time berating herself for the soft feelings she was experiencing.

“Are you full?” Cassidy asked her five-month-old baby daughter. “Have you had enough?”

Netty's big blue eyes were distracted for a moment by something, but as soon as she spotted her mother, she smiled in delight. Cassidy smiled right back, her heart melting with love. Much as she was enjoying this, she was hoping Netty would soon take a nap. Joey was already down, and Cassidy was ready for some quiet time.

She rocked Netty and hummed a little, willing her to sleep. She knew if she put her down she would fall asleep fairly fast, but there was something special for her when her children slept in her arms.

Gaining her wish at last, Cassidy headed out onto the front porch. The doors were open so she could hear the children if they cried. Trace had been slowly adding furniture to the porch, and Cassidy now took one of the rocking chairs, her eyes taking in the magnificent views of the ranch. The colors of the leaves on the Bur Oak and Quaking Aspen would be changing soon, marking her favorite time of year, and Cassidy tried to remember which of the trees usually turned first.

In the midst of these thoughts, Meg arrived. The window to the girls' bedroom was open at the back of her house a short distance away, allowing her to hear them if they woke. Meg took another rocking chair, and the two settled in to talking.

“How are you feeling?” Cassidy asked Meg, whose baby would be born by the end of the year.

“A little achy, but other than that I'm fine.”

“Swollen ankles?”

“Yes.”

“Here,” Cassidy pushed a little wicker hassock toward her. “Put your feet up.”

Meg thanked her and then asked, “What do you hear from your mother?”

“I haven't heard from her in more than a month, so I think she must be busy. I invited her to visit during the cattle drive, but she hasn't answered me yet.”

“The drive is coming up fast.”

“Yes, it is. I don't know why,” Cassidy admitted, “but I'm dreading it this year.”

“Some years are worse than others for me. I have a lot I want to do this time.”

“Maybe I don't have enough planned.”

“I don't know how much planning you can do with Netty at her age,” Meg said. “And let's be honest, the older the kids get, the more it impacts them.”

“Yes, but the older they get, the busier I am, so that makes the time go faster.”

They both laughed a little at their own logic, and then the conversation turned to their neighbors. The Carlisles owned the next ranch out, and Marty had not been feeling well. The women were planning to take some meals to her, so they put their heads together about what to make and which days to deliver it.

Meg's girls were awake before Cassidy's, so their talk was cut short, but that gave Cassidy a little more time on her own. She was still praying for Trace and the children when her own began waking from their naps.

The woman at the counter could not be termed anything but beautiful. Jessie got down to the store in time to watch Seth filling the woman's order, a woman Jessie had never seen before. Jessie was able to stand unnoticed by the folks at the front counter, but she didn't miss a thing. The woman openly flirted a few times, but Seth didn't even smile. He was the most businesslike Jessie had ever seen him.

“Is there anything else?” Seth asked.

“Well,” the woman began, drawing the word out, her eyes on his face.

“I'm glad you're all set,” Seth said quickly. “Thank you.”

This said, Seth came around the counter, not even offering to help her carry the order. It was small, but he typically made the offer to most female customers.

Jessie turned away just in time to avoid getting caught watching. She felt Seth come up beside her and turned to him with myriad conflicting emotions.

“How's Hannah?” Seth asked the moment he got to Jessie's side.

“Still warm, but resting.”

“Are you getting sick?” Seth asked, thinking she looked tired.

“No, I'm fine,” Jessie said, a bit more sharply than she planned.

Seth nodded, wondering what he'd done wrong.

“Hannah wants to see you,” Jessie said, making herself say what she'd come to say.

“Do you want me to go now?” Seth asked, trying to read her.

Jessie nodded, but it bothered her that he felt he had to ask. For the first time in her life, she didn't like being in charge. She didn't like Seth always asking permission. Unwilling to examine where all of this was coming from, Jessie went to the front counter and set to work.

“How are you?” Seth asked the warm child in his bed, her little face flushed.

“Mama says I have a fever.”

“I think she's right,” Seth said, his hand going to her face.

“Here, Hannah.” Clancy came through the door just then with a glass of water. “Hi, Seth,” she added when she spotted him.

“Hi, Clancy. It looks like you're taking good care of your sister.”

“Mama said I could come down and be with you in the store, but I knew Hannah needed me here.”

“I think you made the right decision,” Seth said, watching her climb onto the bed and look at her sister.

“Did you miss us?” Hannah asked, her voice wispy.

“I did. It wasn't very busy this morning, and I missed talking to you.”

“I should be better soon,” Hannah told him, her small face sincere.

“I hope so. I've been praying for you.”

“To God?” Clancy asked, moving closer to him and frowning in concentration.

“Yes.”

“Did He hear you?”

“I believe He did, Clancy. It's important to agree with God about the things He wants when we pray, and that's the way I prayed.”

“What did you say?” Hannah asked.

“Well, I asked Him to heal you if that was His will, but I also asked Him to help you in other ways,” Seth said, not wanting to elaborate. He thought it might be fine with Jessie that the girls go to church, but he wanted to be careful as to when he should tell the girls about what he believed. Thankfully Clancy and Hannah let the topic drop, moving on with amazing speed to the subject of school.

“We go in just a few weeks,” Clancy said. “What will I wear?”

“Mama will get us new dresses.”

“Does she always get you new dresses?” their father asked.

“Every year,” Hannah said.

“Do you get to pick them out, or does she?”

“We get to pick out the color we want,” Clancy told him.

“I get blue,” Hannah said, and for the first time Seth noticed she was looking very tired.

“I like blue too. Clancy,” Seth said to that little girl, “I think we need to let Hannah rest a bit.”

“Are you leaving?” Hannah said.

“Aren't you tired?” Seth asked.

Hannah nodded with a head that felt weighted. She was tired, but she was also enjoying hearing Seth talk to her and thinking about school.

“Here you go,” Seth stood, bending over her to settle the covers around her. “Sleep for a little while.” He kissed her forehead before straightening.

Hannah nodded, and Seth could see she had no choice. Her eyes were already closing, and with a finger to his lips, he ushered Clancy out into the living room. He sat in one of the chairs and brought Clancy close to him. She needed no other invitation. She climbed into his lap.

“Do you want to go down to the store or stay here in case Hannah needs something?”

“I'd better stay until Mama comes.”