Jilted (27 page)

“What exactly is there to deal with? We both wanted it.”

“I’m not disputing that, but I can’t deal with this on top of everything else. I was confused. I just found out something devastating happened to me so when you took me in your arms, I felt things that I thought were long dead. I accepted the comfort you offered me and it became something more. That’s all. This thing that happened between us was an emotional outlet for me and probably for you as well.” She pulled her shirt on and fastened the buttons. She winced a little from the soreness of her body. She’d forgotten how gifted Ashley was in size. When she turned to face him again he was still buck naked. She gulped. His tall body graced with lean muscle was just as magnificent as she remembered. Ashley’s cock was still at half-mast and he didn’t seem to mind his nudity. “Put some clothes on.” She attempted to walk by him but he caught her by the arm.

“My naked body never bothered you before. In fact I remember a time when you would—”

“Don’t. That was then, this is now. This was just one of those things.”

“Speak for yourself, Skylar. It might have been just an outlet to you but it was something completely different for me. Something special. Stay. Let’s talk about this.”

“Let’s not.”

“You can’t pretend this didn’t mean anything to you.”

“Wanna bet? Now let go of me so I can leave.”

“At least let me get dressed first before you run off.”

“Ashley…”

“Please.” That pleading look in his green eyes was hard to say no to, especially when it reminded her so much of her boys.

“Fine but you have five minutes and then I’m out of here.” She picked up her tattered bra. “Do you have any safety pins? Maybe I can repair this.”

“Forget about it. I told you I’d buy you some more.”

“You don’t have to buy anything for me Ashley. I’ll be waiting for you in the living room.” Skylar plopped on the couch, not trusting her legs to support her. “How could she be so stupid to fall into his arms again? When she’d come over to Ashley’s place, it certainly wasn’t with the intention getting of busy on top of his kitchen counter. And then she had Jeremy to consider.

Shit!

She’d forgotten about Jeremy.

With a groan, she buried her face in her hands. How was she going to face him after this? He was the first decent guy she’d dated in years and he didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t like they were official but she didn’t feel right being with one man while sleeping with another. Skylar just didn’t have the stomach for it. She’d have to tell him or else the guilt would eat her up inside.

What happened between her and Ashley complicated matters because it wasn’t like she could walk away and not see him again for several years. They had kids together and he’d already indicated how active he wanted to be in their lives. Besides, the triplets adored him; she’d be a monster to interfere with that blossoming relationship.

And on top of that dilemma, Skylar still couldn’t think of who would hate her enough to set her up in those pictures and that video. As she sat on the couch contemplating these predicaments, Ashely walked out of the kitchen with a drink in hand.

“Here you go. I thought you might be thirsty.”

She eyed the dark pink concoction. “This can’t be what I think it is.” She took the glass from his hand.

“It is.”

She took a sip and shuddered from the syrupy sweetness of the concoction. “A little heavy on the grenadine. The triplets would definitely approve.”

He smiled. “I haven’t made one in a long time but for some reason it’s an item that remained on my shopping list for the past five years.”

Skylar couldn’t believe he still remembered. When she was a kid, whenever her mother had saved up enough money, she’d take Skylar and Izzy to a nice restaurant in order to teach them etiquette. While Priscilla would order a glass of wine for herself, Skylar and Izzy would have Shirley Temples. It was the most delicious drink in the world to her besides her mother’s hot chocolate and Skylar never outgrew it.

On one of her first dates with Ashley, Skylar had been so nervous that she didn’t want to drink alcohol so instead she ended up ordering the virgin cocktail. The waitress continued to refill her glass and by the end of dinner, she had six of them. She and Ashley had gone to the movies afterwards and to this day she still hadn’t seen that entire movie because Skylar had excused herself to go to the restroom at least five times. It was incredibly embarrassing but Ashley had been sweet about it. Whenever she’d come over to his place for a visit, he’d have lemon-lime soda and grenadine on hand just for her. It surprised Skylar that he still bought the stuff. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

She was thirsty so she finished the drink. “Thank you, Ashley. I might have diabetes after drinking this but I appreciate it.”

He grinned. “No problem.”

“Look, what happened today was an anomaly. Emotions were running high and there’s a familiarity between us which can probably explain the chemistry.”

Ashley shoved his hands in his pocket and looked down at his feet. “I think it was a lot more than that, Skylar. Look, even before I realized that DVD was fake, I knew I was still in love with you. It’s why I’ve been so angry and spiteful all this time. I guess what they say is true about there being a thin line between love and hate but I never really hated you. I just thought I did. I was in so much pain that I internalized it and made it into something it wasn’t.”

Tears stung the backs of her eyes. “Don’t do this to me, Ashley. Not now. You can’t just start bringing up things from the past. It’s not fair.”

“Maybe not but I can’t let you walk out the door without at least telling you how I feel.”

Skylar stood up. “I have to go, Ashley. If this isn’t a discussion about the children just let it be.”

“How can I when all I’ll be able to think about after what happened in my kitchen is the taste of you, your scent, how you screamed my name when you—”

“Stop it!” She covered her ears with her hands. “I can’t deal with this right now. Ashley, just because we fucked, it doesn’t erase the past. You know I loved you, more than life itself. After what you did to me, I didn’t want to live. I lay in bed crying and praying to God to take me. Whenever I’d wake up, I’d get even more depressed because I was still alive. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I didn’t even want to move. My mother was very close to hospitalizing me because she was scared for my life. I put my mother and sister through hell with worry, and the only thing that kept me alive was when I found out that I was pregnant. My children gave me a reason to live again.”

Ashley moved closer to her “Skylar—”

She held up her hand and shook her head. “No. I stood on that altar while you humiliated me in front of my friends and family and a bunch of strangers I didn’t know. You at least owe it to me to stand there and listen to what I have to say.”

“You’re right,” he agreed softly.

“You destroyed me and while the information you received was damning, hell I might have believed it myself if someone had sent that stuff to me, but ultimately, you had a choice in how to handle the situation and you chose the wrong solution. We could have figured out what happened long before now. I get that your upbringing would warp anyone’s minds when it came to relationships but I pledged myself to you. You should have come to me instead of pulling that stunt.”

He bowed his head with a sigh. “I know. What I did was unforgivable and I’m sorry. I regretted it immediately after I did it but I was just in too much pain to recognize that.”

Skylar shook her head not allowing him to penetrate the wall she’d built around her heart. “But you see, Ashley, I forgave you for what you did to me a long time ago. I had to in order to heal myself. I couldn’t continue to hate you when every time I looked at my children, I saw you. Hating you would have meant hating a part of them. And without you there would be no them. But like I said, you broke me to the point where I wanted to die. I never want to feel like that again. Ever. We can co-parent and maybe one day we might even be friends but for now, there can be nothing else between us.”

“I understand. And I hear you. But hear this, I still love you Skylar. I never stopped. And I won’t.”

Skylar wiped a tear away. She shook head as she backed away. “I have to go. My mother is probably wondering where I am. Goodbye, Ashley.” She grabbed her purse and hurried out the door before she broke down again.

Ashley stood in the same spot long after Skylar had left. “Dammit!” he screamed. When he held her, touched her, it felt so right. It was what he’d been missing for all these years. He’d been walking around all these years with half of his soul. He wished to God he hadn’t been such a huge coward to turn his back on their love instead of running away at the first sign of trouble. The ghost of his father had scared the hell out of him. With a frustrated roar, he stormed over to the coffee table and picked up the pictures of Skylar and Tony and threw them across the room. “Fuck!” he screamed.

He might have punched the wall again if the phone didn’t ring. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone but he figured talking to someone would be better than destroying his home in a fit of rage. He grabbed his cell phone and saw that it was Tim.

“Yeah Tim, what’s up?”

“That’s it?”

“What do you mean that’s it?”

“You’ve been a no show at the gym for the past couple weeks, no calls, or visits. What the hell man?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to pick up your phone.”

“Apparently. If you’re calling me to give me a hard time, then forget it. I’ve already had a shit day.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “I was calling because I’m actually concerned about you, so stop being an asshole.”

Ashley took a deep breath, raking his fingers through his hair. His anger was one of the reasons he was in this predicament in the first place. It wasn’t fair to take his frustration out on his best friend. “Sorry man. It’s just been a hell lately and it all culminated into one big confusing mess.”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you and there’s a lot that’s happened.”

“Well, I’ve got nothing but time. Rachel dragged me to the mall with her so I’m sitting on a bench waiting for her to come out of the shoe store. It could be hours.”

“Sheesh, how did you get roped into that?”

“I went out to happy hour with some guys from the office. I drank a little too much so I stayed out until I sobered up which meant I arrived home extremely late. Needless to say, she wasn’t pleased.”

“Oh, so she put you on purse duty.”

“Yep. So spill it. What’s been going on with you? Why haven’t you at least called?”

“Like I said, it’s been crazy. I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“The beginning would be nice.”

“Well, I have kids.”

“That’s nice. Wait…what? Whoa! What the hell do you mean you have kids?” Tim asked with clear confusion.

Ashley filled him in, leaving nothing out. He told his friend everything up to Skylar’s visit. By the time he finished, he exhaled. It actually felt good to get everything off the chest and he knew Tim would offer an objective opinion.

It took a while for his friend to respond long after Ashley had finished his tale. “Wow.”

“Is that all you can say?”

“I mean, where do I begin? What your sister and mother did was fucked up. I know they didn’t like Skylar but damn. That’s…I can understand why you’d be so upset with them.”

“My brother is just as guilty. He knew what was going on and didn’t say anything.”

“True. I really don’t know what to say about that. Your family has always been a little bit special but the twins, I often felt they were just lost souls.”

“Well, they can be lost on their own. They’re no longer my problem. My focus now is my children and Skylar.”

“Children. You say that with such ease like you’ve always been in their lives.”

“I don’t know what it is man, but from the moment I met them, there was this connection that I can’t explain. I loved them right away. They’re great kids. Adorable, bright and full of energy. I’m looking forward to spending more time with them.”

“That’s great man. I’m really happy that you’re happy. Rach and I have been trying to have a baby for the past couple years and it’s just not happening for us yet. It was really starting to bum her out to the point where it was affecting our marriage so I had to put a halt to it. It’ll happen when it happens for us, ya know?”

“Sorry to hear that you guys are going through that. You never mentioned it.”

“I didn’t think you’d particularly be interested in my problems. It’s been about you for the past five years.”

He’d wronged a lot of people going through his bullshit. Tim was another one of his victims and it pained him that he’d put their friendship on the backburner. “Ouch. Have I really been that bad of a friend?”

“You weren’t that bad. But there were moments when I wanted to kick your ass. But we’re buds and I wasn’t going to give up on you.”

“Seems like I’ve been doing a lot of apologizing lately and I owe you a big one. I’m sorry for being such a dick.”

“Apology accepted. I’ve made some mistakes of my own, like not being friendly to Skylar when I had the chance. If I see her again, I’d like to apologize. So when do I get to meet your kids? I’m sure Rachel would love to see them. She’s crazy about children.”

Skylar and I are still working out visitation arrangements but I’m sure you’ll meet them eventually.”

“Good. Hey, it looks like Rachel has emerged from the shoe store so I have to go. But I’ll catch up with you later. Good luck man, I hope things work out for you.”

Ashley clicked off with a sigh and headed to the kitchen. He bent down and retrieved Skylar’s panties from under the kitchen counter where he’d kicked them. With a smirk he stuffed them in his pocket. They belonged to him now. And soon, so would Skylar.

Chapter Twenty-Three

“Good morning, Gina.” Skylar walked into the office and placed the box of bagels and donuts on her desk.