jinn 03 - vestige (20 page)

“Where’s Holden?” Femi asked as I walked in.

“He’s probably on his way,” I said as I headed toward the kitchen. I needed to talk to her and make things right, but my heart wasn’t in it. I was still reeling from what I witnessed at Xavier’s, both the carnage and Holden’s actions. Quintus and Charlie were sitting at the table playing Candyland.

Charlie looked over at me and hopped up. She took my hand and tried to pull me over to the game. “Play,” she said confidently.

I didn’t feel like playing anything, but how could I say no to that? I pulled up a chair and joined in, pushing Holden from my mind. Quintus was good with the girl. He was very present in the moment and animated as he rolled the dice and moved the game pieces. I was there, but my thoughts were miles away. Holden was already slipping away. I wasn’t even gone yet and all the progress he had made was turning to dust. He murdered Sybil. Someone he once loved. When I lost, I stood up and moved to leave.

“Did Femi tell you that Baker’s ashes are missing?”

I turned around. “What? No. Why? Does that mean he’s coming back?” Hope spiked in me, then crashed once again when he shook his head. “Someone took them. She probably knows more.”

I nodded and went to find her. She and Corbin were in the living room talking to Holden.

“The dragon is on the council with Rhys.” He shook his head. “This could be a trap.”

“What?” I asked, walking in.

Corbin and Holden looked up at me, but Femi didn’t. “Baker’s ashes are gone and Femi has determined that either Rhys or Death took them.”

I nodded and sat down next to Corbin. “Why would either of them want them?”

Femi shook her head, but Holden ignored him. “When Rhys said he had another way to heal you, he may have meant Baker. If you ate his ashes you could become like him.”

I crossed my legs. “So Death could have done the time freezing thing on all of us and taken them to stop me from using them and Rhys could have taken them to offer to someone else.”

“You got it in one,” Corbin said.

“If that’s true, then Death will give back the ashes. He has gotten what he wants.”

Femi shook her head. “It isn’t too late. It could still work. No matter how many times he kills you, you will keep coming back. You will beat him at his own game.” She finally looked at me.

I started shaking my head before she even stopped talking. “What about Baker?”

“I asked the dragon. He could make you immortal and still come back. It’s possible.”

I stared at my twitching foot. There was no point in arguing about this. Regardless, we had to get Baker back. “Whoever sent the wendigos probably took the urn.”

“Are you sure Rhys isn’t a demon of some sort?” Corbin asked. “I’ve never known wendigo to follow the orders of anyone outside of purgatory.”

I shrugged. “Death called him a traveler. However, if there is someone who could, it’d probably be Death, which—”

“Means I’m right,” Femi said. “The ashes would save you.”

“Can I just say the whole lot of you are stark, raving mad?” Corbin interjected. “We’re talking about the Angel of Death as if this is someone you could conceivably beat at anything. If he took the ashes, it’s time to give up and make new friends. Mammon was bad enough. Quit while you’re ahead.”

“The vampire is right,” Holden said. “If Death is behind any of this, there’s nothing we can do.”

“We don’t have to worry about Death. Leilah is handling him. Rhys is our focus,” Femi said, waving a card in front of her. “Either you come with me willingly, Holden, or I’m taking you by force.”

Holden shifted. I could feel the weight of what she was asking on him. “Femi, as much as I would like Baker to come back, we have no way of knowing if it is even possible at this point.” He shook his head. “I have to worry about Mammon and the jinn right now.”

“You selfish son of a bitch.” Femi threw a knife at him so fast I didn’t even see her pull it. It stuck in his shoulder, but he didn’t react. “This is Baker and Olivia we are talking about. I don’t care if Mammon kills all the jinn. He can have them.”

Holden’s jaw clenched and he pulled out the blade, wiped it on his already bloody shirt, and laid it on the table. “I’m sorry.” He stood and left the room.

She started after him, but I stopped her. “Don’t. He’s right.” Femi’s mouth fell open. “He does need to focus on this, but I don’t. I’ll come with you.”

“But Rhys doesn’t want you,” Femi said.

“He’ll come. I promise.” Rhys wasn’t stupid. He knew that Holden would listen to me, and if Femi was right about the ashes, then he would think he still had a chance to recruit me to the council which could only work in our favor.

She let out a breath and her shoulders dropped. “Okay.”

“Go find out if Quintus can stay with the girl. What are you going to do?” I asked Corbin.

“Whatever I want, probably.”

Femi shook her head and left the room.

“If Femi returns before I’m back, tell her I went to talk to Holden,” I told Corbin. “Don’t wait for me. Do what she needs to do and call me when it’s time.”

“I’m not your secretary,” he called after me.

Holden was coming out of our room, buttoning a new black shirt.

“You should have stock in those,” I said.

He smiled. “What makes you think I don’t?”

My heart warmed, despite all the feelings warring inside of me. “You have time to talk?”

His steady gaze met mine and he knew. The light in his eyes dimmed ever so slightly and the skin around his mouth tightened as his jaw clenched. “Is it time?”

The question impaled me like a spike. “Not here. Let’s go somewhere else.”

By the time we were outside I had decided where we should go. “I’ll meet you at Xavier’s.” He frowned but I transported before he could question my decision.

Xavier’s had always been a place of darkness for him. He took over ownership and control of the jinn while I wasn’t there. Now dozens of his people were massacred there. It also didn’t escape my notice that it was where he chose to kill Sybil. If I was leaving, the only thing I had left to do was make my mark on the place as well, so when he was there, he’d think of me—and maybe that would be a lingering trace of good. It was a small hope, but it was something. I went to the back room, the bar Femi and I went to what seemed like a lifetime ago. I made my way behind the long curving counter. It still made me sad that the nice bartender died because of me. What was his name...

“Will,” Holden said. He frowned at me. “What are we doing here?”

I traced my fingers along the cool waxed wood, taking my time coming back from my memories. I pictured the white sundress I’d worn that night, right down to its princess neckline and embroidered hem. I felt how the cool air in the club had kissed my exposed skin. “That’s right.
Will
. He was cute and nice.” I swished the skirt slightly.

Holden slipped his hands into his pockets. “Liv?”

I sighed. “How many times have we had to say goodbye to each other?”

His head jerked like I’d struck him. “Too many.”

“You’re going after Mammon tonight, aren’t you?”

“If I can find him. If we wait too long, the jinn will jump ship. He forced my hand.”

Mammon wanted Holden to attack now because he didn’t think he was ready, but he was. He was stronger now than ever before. If anyone could defeat the prince it was him. “I’ll help, but I’d like to try to get Baker’s ashes back first. If you wait, I can do both.” I moved out from behind the counter. As an angel I could have helped him more, but as a guardian, probably not very much. At the very least though, I could keep smaller demons or wendigos at bay.

His shoulders relaxed. “That’s a good idea. You and Femi look for the ashes. I can handle this with the jinn. I mean it, Liv. If you come and something captures you...” He gave me a meaningful look.

I was his Achilles. Everyone knew it and if I was there, Hell would come for me before anyone else, but could I really just stay away and let him fight alone? “Well, there’s a first time for everything.” I gave him a wry smile that he didn’t return, and then chewed on my lip, struggling to let go. “Once Mammon is defeated, I’ll have to leave. Death will come for me. We may not have time to see each other again.”

He took several steps toward me. “So this is the last time we’ll see each other?”

I looked down. “Not if I can help it.”

Holden hooked his finger under my chin. “At some point, we have to stop lying to ourselves. We both know what’s going to happen.”

I nodded, caught between tears and breathlessness.

He took in every angle, line, and shape of my face as if he hadn’t seen it before. Even now, after all this time, he looked at me with wonder and awe like he had the first time we met. “Can we really let each other go?”

I rested my head against his shoulder, and breathed in the smell of him, a unique blend of clean and spicy. I would never forget it. I slid my arms around his waist and flattened my chest against his. Everything about him was etched into my soul, as much a part of me as my own reflection. “No. Probably not.”

He shook in silent laughter and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “I’m so glad you said that.” I pulled back. The softness in his face shored up my breaking insides, holding me together a little while longer. “What am I going to do without you? And don’t give me that crap about how you’ll always be with me.” Those green eyes I loved so much were as watery as my own.

“Only you can answer that. I know what I would want, but,” I forced the words out, “it’s your life. It’s your soul. You have to decide who you want to be. Changing just for me was never going to work. No matter what you choose, though, you’ll always be my other half. The part that completes me. That will never end.”

His thumb traced the curve of my mouth and trailed down my neck. “I may not have that much control over it.”

I pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Of course you will. You’re stronger than your urges.”

“Not at the moment.” His lips met mine in an explosion of emotional sparks that I surrendered to.

The bull-nosed edge of the counter met my back, as he possessed my mouth. He was so tight against me I could feel his heartbeat—or was that mine? Who could tell anymore? His body was scorching hot where it met mine and the air swirling around us felt thick and combustible, providing no relief. My fingers gently brushed his hot cheek, but he pushed them away. He didn’t want to be appeased. He didn’t want gentle, and truth be told, neither did I. I wanted to be ravaged, consumed, marked for life.

He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, cradling his head in my arms as I kissed him back just as hard. A growling moan vibrated deep in his chest as he dragged punishing kisses down my throat and rammed me back against the bar. Resting on my forearms, I held him tight between my legs as he undid his jeans. His hands ran up my thighs, pushing my skirt up higher and higher, fiery satisfaction burning in his eyes. His arms wrapped around me again and the pulsing heat of his body spread to mine. His swift, rough thrusts drove us higher and higher until light and flames burned away everything except the two of us. Forged from the same bliss, the same basic material but only complete in one another’s arms.

We stayed linked together, holding each other tight, until the rest of the world slowly came back, a bit more scorched than when we started. Holden lifted me the rest of the way to sit on the now blackened and charred bar and pressed his head to my chest. “I missed you,” he said softly. “And you were here. I can’t fathom missing you when you’re not.”

I didn’t have the words to ease his pain, so I ran my fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened since you came back,” he continued. “The angel gave me the souls of several other jinn. She was trying to make me stronger and it worked, but”—his lip curled in disgust—“the anger is always at the top. I can’t stop it. I can’t force it down…without you. Every time I try to hold it back, it gets stronger.”

Even in my arms, the blue flames flickered back to life deep in his eyes.

“It’s going to consume me, Liv. And when it does, someone needs to get Charlie away from here. She’s the key to a lot of power and there’s nothing better to tempt a jinni with than that. She won’t be safe with me.”

“You wouldn’t hurt her.”

“That’s just it. I might.”