Joshua Healy (Mitchell Healy Book 10) (3 page)

Chapter 3

Joshua

There was some time during my afternoon where I considered not showing up to see this female again. The chances of me getting laid are pretty slim, especially knowing she’s friends with Liv. I can’t expect for it to come easily, and I’m not sure the work will be worthwhile. How good can she be? Comparable to Liv, no one has ever gotten close. Nonetheless, I prefer not to miss an opportunity to get my dick wet, no matter how selfish I may be.

Wes and I had a late lunch, and several bottles of beer before we parted ways, him driving away in his new vehicle. Afterwards, I stopped home and got involved in a long conversation with my good old dad about where I want to be in the next five years. If he’d get off my back for a second, maybe I’d be able to give him some sort of answer. Like other times, I stormed off in my truck, while determined to put some distance between us.

It’s not that I hate my dad. I get it. I’m in my twenties, didn’t go to college, and haven’t made an ounce of effort when it comes to being independent. I rely on my parents for everything. I don’t know the first thing about cooking, keeping up with a house, or doing my own laundry. It’s not that I’m incapable, I just prefer to let everyone else keep doing it for me. I’m spoiled, and they all know it. As far as I’m concerned, they made me the way I am.

When I arrive at the dealership, I’m surprised to find Tamsyn outside. I assume she’s waiting for me to pick her up, so I pull to the curb where she’s standing. She proceeds to scream something at a guy I recognize from our family church. His name is Shaun, and he’s from a prominent family on the other side of town from where I reside. I haven’t seen him since high school, not that he’s changed much, all except for a bit more facial hair. We were never friends, so I don’t offer a wave. Tamsyn climbs into the passenger side of the truck like her ass is literally on fire. She slams the door, and lets out something like a wail. I’m unsure what to think.

She’s in my truck, but disturbed about something that is going down, or was before I showed up.

She doesn’t have a clue what she’s about to get into. By simply allowing me to pick her up, she’s involved me in whatever this is. We’re pulling out of the lot, she’s turning around watching out the window, staring at the guy who still remains where she left him. “You know him?” I don’t lead on that I’m familiar with the person.

“He’s my boyfriend,” she exclaims. “My ex.”

I can sense hostility in her voice, and it says a lot since I know nothing about the woman. I chuckle at the way it comes out of her pretty little mouth. “Is he going to come after you? Should I watch my back?”

“If he knows what’s good for him, no. Just keep driving. Please.” She’s starting to cry. There’s nothing more annoying than hearing a woman sob, especially about a man. If I’m not the cause, I don’t want to be involved. “You need me to drop you somewhere?”

She turns to me with makeup running down her cute cheeks. “No. I can’t go back to the dorm. Take me anywhere you want, just not there.”

I pull the truck over into the closest parking lot and turn to face her. “Look, lady, I can tell you’re having a hard time. I’m getting the feeling I rolled up on something I’ve got no business being apart of. If you don’t mind, I’d rather not make this any harder for you than it already is.”

Her pained eyes widen. “No.” She’s wiping her face, her pleads making me strain to be able to comprehend what she’s saying. “I need to keep busy.”

“Keep busy? I can think of some ways that can happen, but I don’t think you’re up for that.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares out the window. “Wow. You’re admitting it only minutes after picking me up? You’ve got nerve.”

“I thought I made it clear earlier. I have no reason to hold back. I’m almost always  looking for a booty call. There’s no harm if it’s cordial, right?”

“Just stop talking.” She scrunches her face and rubs her frustrations away. “I can’t …”

“Alrighty then. How about I drop you off and we hook up another time?” I’m still willing to make it happen if she is. I mean, she’s so easy on the eyes it’s hard to give up on the chase. I’d regret not hitting it if I saw her around in the future.

She’s shaking her head while peering into my eyes. “I just found out that my boyfriend knocked up my roommate.”

“Say what?” I’m finding it difficult to imagine a guy cheating on her, so I’m wondering what this roommate must look like for it to have happened. I’m shallow, so I’m obviously only assuming it had to do with sex appeal.  “Were you friends with the girl?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Damn.” I feel sorry for Tamsyn. I can tell she’s in shock, so I decide to play the sympathy card. “You okay? I can be a good listener if you need one.” Drama can be entertaining, especially when it earns me brownie points.

She shakes her head again, her eyes squinting as she fights to hold back more tears. “No. I’m not okay at all. I want someone to tell me it’s all a sick joke.”

“Were y’all together long?” It’s a friendly question, one that might explain why she’s this broken up. “

“Three years,” she explains with a few sniffles in between. “You must think I’m a crazy bitch for jumping into your truck like I did. To be honest, I wasn’t planning on going with you. I thought you’d be a no-show, but you weren’t, and I needed to get away. I get it if you’d rather drop me off somewhere and be on your merry way. I wouldn’t blame you. I’m not good company, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to sleep with you, not tonight, and maybe not ever. I’m not desperate for revenge.”

Challenge noted.

I take a few seconds to think about the situation. I could drop her off and go home, where I’d have a few more beers and kick back in my room, probably falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning after online gaming. My cousins, Jake and Jax, twins, make fun of me as much as possible. Working on the ranch with them makes it difficult. I’m the youngest of the cousins. Ten kids, and I’m the spoiled rotten baby. Most of the time I love it, unless my parents are getting on me to grow up, or my family is ragging on me about being immature.

“You hungry?” I can at least buy her a meal.

“No. I feel sick.”

“Don’t puke in the truck, please. My sister did it a few months back and it took weeks to get the smell out.” I realize immediately that I sound like a dick, so I keep talking to change her mind. “You sure you’re not into revenge, because I’m fairly certain I can get your mind off of the asshole that hurt you.”

She’s curious. “How?”

“I can take you back to my ranch and do things to you that your piece of shit boyfriend has only seen when he’s beating off to porn. Give me one night, and I’ll make you forget all about him, or…” I pause for a second. “We could go somewhere quiet and let you calm down. I’ll pick us up something to drink and we’ll hang for a time.”

She snarls at me.  “You’re relentless.”

“Sorry, I usually get what I want.” I take my hand and drag it over a new set of tears that have escaped her eyes. “Or maybe I really hate to see a beautiful woman distraught over a douche who couldn’t see what’s right in front of them.”

Now I’ve gotten her attention. A smile forms in the corner of her mouth. She shyly glances out the window, refusing to look at me. “You can’t say stuff like that. I don’t know you.”

“Have you considered I’m being honest?”

“I told you I’m not interested in sleeping with you. You dated Livvy. I’m in a bad place. I’m the last person you should want to spend time with.”

I start to put my hand on her thigh in a supportive sort of way, but retract it and leave it sit on the cushion next to her instead. “I’ve got nowhere else to be. So, do you want company or not?”

She nods, her sullen eyes meeting mine.

I’m driving again, headed for the first liquor store I can find. Maybe I’m asking for punishment. There’s a big chance I’m never going to see this chick after tonight, but for some reason I’m interested in hanging around. I might be a dickhead on most days, but she has nowhere else to go. Like it or not, she needs my company, so I’m going to make the best of it and make her want to let me in between those sexy legs of hers.

Once we’ve left the liquor store, picking up enough tonic to get the both of us shitfaced, I take her to the one place I know she’ll find solace.

The family ranch.

Chapter 4

Tamsyn

I don’t know what I’m doing here with a complete stranger. It feels wrong in every way, but there’s no place else I’d rather be. I’m doing my best to cope with what’s been thrown at me. My heart feels like it’s being ripped to shreds, and then there’s this guy who still wants to spend time with me. He’s innocent in all of this. He doesn’t know the people who betrayed me, which makes him safe. Sure, he may ask questions I’m uncomfortable answering, but I’d rather talk to this man I know nothing about than have to face any of the people who will constantly remind me of everything I’ve recently lost.

For four days I kept thinking our breakup was temporary, but now I worry if it’s permanent. I can’t imagine falling out of love with Shaun. He once promised me a forever and now it’s all gone. Our commitment is severed, leaving me in despair and completely alone.

I don’t want to start over. I certainly can’t see myself jumping right into another relationship, but for tonight I need this company. Without Joshua Healy to occupy my time, I’m afraid where I’ll end up.

He’s in this for the possibility of sex, and as much as I refuse him, a part of me wonders if his offer would actually work. Could he make me forget about everything I’m going through, even for a short period of time, because I’m lower than I’ve ever been, so the possibility of reprieve would be welcomed. I’m pathetic, desperate, but more to the point, I’m crushed.

Josh parks his truck next to a big red barn. He takes the bag he purchased from the liquor store and climbs from his side of the vehicle. In a matter of seconds he’s at my door, opening it and offering me his free hand to help me out. The little gesture causes me to smile. At least he has the decency to act right before trying to get into my pants. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” he says while starting to walk toward the dark building. The sun has now set, but the moon hasn’t risen enough for it to light up the sky, so I’m relying on him to guide me in the right direction.

“Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?” It’s not a serious question, but going into a vacant building with a stranger isn’t exactly a smart decision.

“Na. I’m too lazy to clean up a mess like that.” We enter in a normal sized door on the side, and when a light flickers on I notice it’s set up more as an entertaining area than for farm use. He points to a set of wooden framed stairs and proceeds to climb them. I follow behind, coming up into a more suitable area to hang out. Two couches face one another. There’s a TV on a stand against the only window, and a couple fans standing on either side. He turns them on first and then the television before sitting on a sofa and digging into the brown paper bag. I take the seat across from him and watch as he cracks open a beer and pushes it across the coffee table in front of me. “When you said you were taking me to the ranch I imagined your house.”

“There’s too many people there.”

“Oh, so you live with your parents?”

“Yep. Is that a turnoff?”

“No. I’m not here because I’m interested, remember?”

“You don’t need to keep reminding me.”

“So,” I look around while trying to think of something we can talk about. Luckily he takes the lead.

“You think you’ll get back with Shaun?”

Suddenly I realize he knows my ex. “Why didn’t you tell me you were friends?”

He’s already finishing his first beer before responding. “We’re not. Small town. His parents and mine attend the same church, end of story.”

“I wonder if he recognized you?”

He raises his eyebrows. “Perhaps.”

For some reason this pleases me. I don’t want to be the pathetic girlfriend he destroyed. I want to come out of this looking strong, at least from the outside. A half smile forms as I think about what Shaun would feel if he knew I was with Josh. Would he feel threatened? Would he regret everything? Do I even want him to?

I guzzle my full beer, hoping to catch a fast buzz to make this awkwardness a bit easier to handle. The man sitting across from me leans forward and takes me in. I feel uncomfortable. Not only have I not dated for years, but I’ve never been alone with a man I hardly know. “You must think I’m a mess.” I try to fix my face and run one hand over my hair, knowing how bad of shape I’m in. “I’m usually more put together.”

“When I saw you walking in my direction earlier today, I thought you looked like you belonged on a cover of a magazine.”

“And now?” I hate asking, in fear of what he may say.

“And now I think you’re just as pretty. You don’t need to cake that shit on your face. You’re cute the way you are.”

“Really?” I’m unsure if he’s hitting on me or being genuine. “You probably say that to all the girls you bring here.”

He shrugs, proceeded by a cackle. “Think what you want. I never said I was a saint.”

“What about you, Josh? Ever cheated?”

He leans forward, exuding confidence as he does it. “Never needed to.”

“How is that?”

“I don’t put labels on my relationships.”

“So, you just screw around all the time?”

“I should have known you’d take it that way.” It’s like he’s making fun of my assumption. It aggravates me.

“How should I take it?”

“To each his own, I suppose. I don’t like the drama, so I tend to avoid it. I prefer the company of a woman without strings; two people enjoying one another without a commitment. You might say I’m horrible, but think about it, no one is ever going to hurt me, and I won’t hurt them. It’s a win win.”

“But how many women think like you?” I’m actually wondering if it’s possible.

“You’d be surprised.” He snickers, displaying a set of matching dimples on either side of his cheeks. They’re hard to make out under the patches of facial hair. As I focus on his features, I watch him lick his lips before taking another swig of beer. He finishes his second and crushes the can before tossing it directly into a nearby wastebasket. “Don’t tell me you’re some kind of prude.”

“I’m not,” I defend.

“You don’t believe me, that’s a given.”

I shrug. “It’s a nice theory, but I don’t see how a respectable woman would be able to live like that. We all want the fairytale. I don’t care what anyone says.”

“Your friend Liv doesn’t. There’s your example.”

I’m not shocked. Livvy is difficult. She’s crazy like that; beautiful and independent. Nothing stands in her way. I admire that about her, but distanced myself a long time ago because I couldn’t understand it. “Do you still talk to her?” I want to ask if they’ve screwed within the past couple years, but I’m not about to say it.

“It’s been a while.” Josh adjusts in his seat, flipping a music station on the television and filling the room with a light ambience of country music. “You really want to talk about who I’ve screwed?” His question embarrasses me. Do I want to hear about it? Have I become so desperate to avoid my problems that I want to dig into his past?

“Not really.”

He sits his third beer down on the table and stands, extending his hand to me. “This doesn’t have to be weird.”

“I’m not letting you take me to bed.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, but leaves his hand waiting for mine. “I’m a little more experienced than you give me credit. This isn’t about fucking. Take my hand and I’ll prove it to you.”

What could go wrong? I’m already at my lowest. I sigh and let my hand slide into his. He pulls me to stand in front of him and stares at me, while his opposite hand rests on my hip. “Do I make you nervous?” He inquires.

When he’s looking at me like this it’s a definite. “Yes.”

He starts to smile, but lifts his hand and focuses on dragging it against the skin of my cheek. “Relax. Close your eyes and breathe. I’m not going to try anything. You have my word.”

“I’m finding it difficult to trust anyone at this point.”

He’s leading me somewhere, so I peek to make sure it’s not over a ledge where I’ll fall to my death. When we reach a window he lets go of his hold. “Open your eyes.”

I’m staring out into the dark night, a sky full of stars surround us. “It’s beautiful.”

“Close your eyes again and listen.”

I can still hear the music playing at a low decibel, but what’s clear is the critters outside, the crickets, and bullfrogs. It’s the sound of a country evening, away from people, city life, but mostly automobiles.

“This is where I come to clear my head.”

“It’s beautiful. Is that what everyone says when you come here?”

“I don’t bring chicks here, except for Liv and we sort of grew up together. Her brother has been my best friend since we were kids. In fact, he’s married to one of my sisters now, so he’s family.”

“Wow. Is that weird being around Livvy?”

“I told you. I don’t see her. We were never official. I’m not her type.”

A giggle escapes me. This guys is everyone’s type. He’s sexy as all hell, witty, and determined. He’s rough around the edges, which makes him more appealing to us women who love a challenge. “I highly doubt that.”

“Believe what you want. Liv and I are history, if we were ever anything at all.”

“You were her first. I know that much.”

His face shows amusement. His smile is almost ornery. “Yeah, that I was.”

“Was she yours?”

“You really want to know?”

I nod. “As long as we’re not talking about me it’s a good conversation.”

“Yeah, she was my first. It happened here on the ranch, but I won’t disclose the exact location. It was a lifetime ago. I might have been thirteen.”

“So she was twelve?”

He shrugs while I think about what I was doing at twelve years of age. I certainly wasn’t thinking about boys. “I was still playing with Barbie dolls at that age.”

This gets him going. “She might have been thirteen. I can’t remember. We were kids. I’m lucky I knew what to do, and it sure as hell wasn’t anything spectacular.”

I don’t know why this talk makes me feel like I’m getting to know him. It’s not exactly a normal conversation between two people who are supposed to be on a date. “My first time happened when I was sixteen. His name was Justin Timmons. He played varsity football our junior year. We went out for nine months before he gave me an ultimatum. I had to sleep with him or he was going to break up with me.”

“So you gave in?”

“Stupidly, I guess. I mean, I was ready. I wanted it to happen. I think I needed the push.”

“Losing your virginity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

I shrug again. “My first time was okay. He said he loved me. He was gentle, and I’d like to think I didn’t embarrass myself too much.”

He moves a long piece of hair away from my face, while staring deeply into my eyes again. I’m not used to men looking at me like this. It’s intimidating, like he’s peering into my soul, if that’s possible. “I’m sure you had him by the balls.”

“Why would you think that? I had no clue what I was doing.”

“Because, if you look anything like you do now, he was probably freaking out. If I had to make an educated guess, I’d say he was only able to last twenty seconds.”

I place my palm over my mouth and laugh. “Probably less,” I correct him.

Josh shakes his head and shares in my amusement. “I knew it had to be something like that.”

The room is quiet as I peer out the window into the distance. He leans on the sill, his arm muscles flexing around the tight short sleeves of his shirt. I close my eyes and wonder what it would be like for him to really hold me. He’s built this way from years of working on the ranch. He doesn’t require a gym membership, or do it to impress the women. He’s naturally born and bred to look this way. I can literally imagine him driving me up against a wall and having his way with me. My whole body aches, but not in the way I’d like it to. I feel beaten and bruised. I’m exhausted, drained to the point of wanting to sleep for a week at a time. “I should call it a night, Josh. I’m not good company, and I can’t expect you to keep distracting me like you are. I’m sorry I’m not what you first expected.”

He stops me from walking away. “Tamsyn, hold on a minute.” The way he says my name gives me chills. I stop dead in my tracks and wait for his green eyes to lock in on mine. Right then I think about the way Livvy used to describe them when she spoke of Joshua Healy. She said his eyes were the color of a lime. She was right, but maybe a bit on the lighter side. The inner circle surrounding the pupils has a dark trace along the edge. They’re magnificent, and as he blinks it’s like slow motion. I’m captivated by his beauty, but also the fact that I’m standing this close to him, in such a strange predicament, not knowing how I’ve gotten to this point. “A woman as gorgeous as you are doesn’t deserve to feel the way you do. I may not be great at a lot of things, but I know for a fact I can make you forget about him tonight.” He lets his index finger drag over my lips. He’s so gentle. It’s all consuming. I’m falling victim to his charm. He’s seducing me and he knows it.