Julia Justiss (5 page)

So she had no reason to be apprehensive as she set boldly out on this new adventure—or so she tried to convince the small child inside who, though she refused to acknowledge it, hungered desperately for acceptance.

To distract herself from her nervousness, once Lord Darnell’s curricle set off, she bent her intellect to carefully observing every detail of the London scene. After she returned monosyllabic answers to his first few comments, Lord Darnell transferred his attention back to his restive horses and let silence reign between them.

The horses were magnificent, she noted with approval. Having learned to ride from practically the time she could walk, Helena had sometimes wandered down to the castle stables during the nights when she escaped her barred room. Mad Sally had taught her that animals could communicate with humans, if one had an eye to see and an ear to listen. Helena’s visits with these fellow wild creatures, penned up as she was and
forced to do a master’s bidding, had always brought her solace.

She would be able to buy her own horses now, she realized, the thought cheering her.

If it became necessary for her to find her way out of London, however, escape would be more difficult. From the moment she’d caught her first glimpse of the city from atop the mail coach as it rounded the heights, she’d marveled at the sheer size and complexity of it. As Lord Darnell drove, she noted again what a twisted tangle of streets, carriages, laden wagons and scurrying pedestrians it was.

The library at Lambarth Castle had contained atlases of the globe. Surely there were maps of this city, as well. She made a mental note to obtain one on her next excursion.

For the trip to the Darnell town house, she’d put back on the stiff leather shoes she’d worn from Lambarth—which she intended to remove at the first opportunity and feed to the fire. And though the blue dress she now wore was softer and warmer than the rag she’d arrived in, she anticipated with great eagerness being able to enter an elegant shop like the ones they were now passing and order a whole wardrobe of shoes and gowns made to fit her alone.

The humiliation she had forbidden herself to feel when Lord Darnell first saw her, revulsion writ clear on his face, heated her now. She’d not see him again, she vowed, until she looked presentable. Or at least as presentable as someone of her thin, bony frame and plain face could.

Although the first purchase she made would be a comb and brush, she decided, fingering the twisted mat of hair beneath the straw bonnet. After deciding to declare his daughter “mad,” to further bolster that claim, her father had thrown her mother’s silver set off the cliffs.

With a bittersweet smile, she remembered her disappointment the first time she’d managed to escape the castle and make her way to Mad Sally’s hovel. She’d hoped to tidy herself, but found the old woman was as much a stranger to grooming as Helena had been forced to become.

Small wonder the villagers had stared when she stumbled into their midst a short time later.

Undoubtedly her aunt also possessed a tub in which she could bathe, as had Mama. Oh, to feel truly clean again! Whatever the cost of having servants bring up the necessary containers of heated water, she would pay gladly.

She was still imagining the delights of hot water and scented soap when Lord Darnell’s voice interrupted her.

“We’re arriving now in St. James Square,” he said as he signaled his horses to a walk. “Darnell House is third from the left on the northwest side.”

Despite her brave resolutions, Helena’s stomach dipped as she studied the brick building with its elegant inset pilasters. A moment later Lord Darnell pulled up the horses, a livried servant coming to their heads.

After a footman helped her to alight, Helena took the arm Lord Darnell offered her and ascended the
steps to the front door—which was opened before they touched the handle by yet another servant attired in formal black dress.

“This is Harrison,” Lord Darnell said as the man bowed them in. “Without his supervision, our household would cease to function.”

“Thank you, my lord, and welcome, Miss Lambarth. The ladies are expecting you in the south parlor.”

While Helena marveled at the quantity of servants employed in the Darnell household, an older lady bearing a vague resemblance to Mama rushed into the hall. “Oh, Adam, I just couldn’t wait—”

Catching sight of her, the woman stopped in mid-phrase. As her gaze traveled down Helena from the cheap straw bonnet to the stiff leather shoes, her smile faded, her cheeks paled and her eyes widened.

“Lord in Heaven!” she exclaimed. Then she swayed, her eyes fluttering shut, and crumpled to the floor.

It was a scene out of Helena’s worst fears: Lord Darnell leaping to catch his stepmother before she hit the marble paving, Harrison calling out for assistance, an elegant young lady who must be Lord Darnell’s sister rushing into the hallway to stop short in dismay.

Perhaps the sister will swoon, too, Helena thought, trying to ignore the pain that lanced through her as her vague hopes of a warm reception dissolved like Lady Darnell’s welcoming smile.

Crossing her arms over her bosom, Helena looked at Adam, staggering under the burden of his semiconscious stepmother, and raised her eyebrows. “Are you still sure you wish to offer me a home, Lord Darnell?”

T
HE YOUNG LADY
,
WHO HAD
pale blond curls and her brother’s warm green eyes, turned to her. “Of course he does! I’m Charis, Lord Darnell’s sister. Let me escort you out of this confusion while Adam attends to Bellemere.”

There was no mistaking the sincerity of the girl’s tone. Prepared to offer a waspish reply, Helena was left with nothing to say. A gratitude she didn’t want to feel warmed her chest and angrily she blinked back tears.

Promising herself she would exit this dwelling as soon as possible and make her way back to Mr. Pendenning’s office, Helena let the girl escort her into the parlor.

“Please, will you not sit? Though I shouldn’t wonder at your wishing to bolt for the door, thinking you’d arrived at a house out of bedlam!”

There seeming nothing else to do; Helena took a chair.

“Let me apologize for so appalling a welcome,” Miss Darnell continued as she seated herself. “Lady Darnell has the sweetest of temperaments, but a very nervous disposition that sometimes overwhelms her—
and she has been beside herself all afternoon with impatience for your arrival. Pray, do pardon her! When she recovers, she will be mortified at having made such a scene.”

Not sure what she should answer, Helena simply nodded.

“Should you like some tea? We didn’t know whether you would be hungry when you arrived.”

“Mr. Pendenning gave me refreshments at his office.”

“Are you tired, then? Adam said you had a very long journey—from Cornwall, was it? Oh, but here I am, chattering on when you must be wishing only to rest until dinner. Shall we go upstairs, then?”

Not sure she could bear an interview with the “recovered” Lady Darnell, Helena knew she should take her leave immediately. But the short nap at Mr. Pendenning’s office had refreshed her very little. The idea of having a place to temporarily lay her head held such appeal she was not able to refuse it.

“I should like to rest,” she admitted.

“Let me take you up straightaway, then. Adam is the most delightful of brothers,” Miss Darnell continued as they left the room and began mounting the stairs, “but he is a
man.
” Miss Darnell glanced back at Helena with a mischievous look. “I’ve often longed for a sister. Oh, I do hope we shall become great friends!”

Though Helena returned her gaze searchingly, once again she could read nothing but sincerity in the girl’s open manner and friendly smile. Too weary to worry over the matter any further, she entered the bedcham
ber to which Miss Darnell conducted her, conscious only of the clarion call of sleep.

“Ring the bell when you’re ready and a maid will escort you back downstairs,” Miss Darnell said as she pulled the curtains closed. “Now, rest well, for I warn you, when you join us again, I shall be full of questions!”

To which, Helena thought as she sank gratefully down on a bed as soft as Lord Darnell had promised, she was not sure she had any answers acceptable for the ears of a sheltered young maiden.

T
HOUGH
H
ELENA HAD INTENDED
only to close her eyes for a few moments, when she reached consciousness again, she was dismayed to find the room in almost total darkness. She sprang up, a little fear darting through her. If what happened in the next few minutes solidified her determination to leave, would she be able to find her way back through the tangle of streets to Mr. Pendenning’s office? Would anyone even be there at such an hour?

Before she could decide whether or not to tug the bellpull, her chamber door opened and a maid peeped in.

Spotting Helena standing by the bed, the girl bobbed a curtsey. “Begging your pardon, miss, but mistress wished me to see if you was awake yet. The ladies be waiting for you downstairs. If ye be ready, I’ll show you the way.”

“Mistress” presumably being Lady Darnell, Helena hesitated. She might as well get the meeting over with.
If ’twas unpleasant…well, she’d already determined to leave. But she would do so properly, after expressing her gratitude to Mama’s cousin for her courtesy—not sneaking out like a prisoner breaking parole.

Mentally armoring herself for the confrontation, Helena followed, then paused on the threshold while the girl announced her. Taking a deep breath, she walked in.

She found Charis Darnell sitting on the sofa beside her mother’s cousin. Before Helena could utter a word, Lady Darnell jumped up and hurried to her.

“My dear Helena, please forgive me! My wretched nerves. I had worked myself into such a state waiting for Adam to return with you that when I perceived you at last, such a look of poor Diana about you, I was quite overcome!” Lady Darnell held out her hands. “Please tell me you’ll pardon an old woman’s foolishness and let us start over.”

Hesitantly, Helena offered her hands. To her surprise, the woman seized them and pulled her into a hug.

The soft brush of blond curls against her cheek…a scent of roses…the warmth of a rounded female form holding her close…All these touched something deep within her, flooding her with memories of a loving embrace.

After a moment of shocked surprise, Helena returned the pressure of the older woman’s arms. She clung fiercely to Lady Darnell, the contact fulfilling a craving for closeness she was only just realizing she possessed.

After several moments Lady Darnell loosened her grip and moved Helena to arm’s length, gazing with loving intensity at her face. “You do have the look of Diana about you,” she said softly.

“Do I? I always thought I looked nothing like her. I am so dark and she was fair, like you.”

“’Tis not so much coloring as in the way you carry yourself, your profile, the tilt of your chin.”

Still not quite sure she dared believe it, Helena said, “You do want me to live with you, Lady Darnell?”

“More than anything! But ‘Lady Darnell’ makes me sound like some sort of forbiddingly strict chaperone, which I assure you I do not intend to be. Adam and Charis call me Bellemere, after…something French, I believe.”

“‘Belle-mère’—stepmother,” Helena supplied. “Or ‘beautiful mother,’ which is even more appropriate.”

Lady Darnell dimpled with pleasure. “How sweet of you, child! I’m glad to see Diana taught you something of languages before she…” Coloring a little, Lady Darnell rushed on. “Well, I do not doubt it, for she was very clever! When we were girls, I always looked on your mama like a sister. I would be very pleased if you would call me ‘Aunt Lillian.’”

“You must call me Charis and I hope you will let me call you Helena,” Lord Darnell’s sister said as she came to join them. “We are so thrilled to have you here.”

Amazingly, it seemed they really did want her—despite her ungainly form and unattractive face, her mangled hand and tangled hair.

Mama had been right after all.

Swallowing the lump that clogged her throat, Helena at last managed to reply, “I should be honored to call you Aunt Lillian and Charis.”

“Good, that’s settled!” Charis said. “My brother shall be Adam, but I don’t expect we’ll see much of him. Once Bellemere announced her intention to summon an army of linen drapers, bonnet makers, cobblers, dressmakers, hairdressers, glove makers and such, he told us he expected to be frightfully busy for at least a month!” She grinned at Helena. “Sit down and let us start planning.”

“Yes, please do,” Aunt Lillian said as she led Helena to the sofa and took the seat beside her. “I had Cook hold dinner, not knowing when you would wake. While it is prepared, you must tell us what
you
wish to do.”

It had been so long since anyone had asked Helena what she wanted that for a moment she was too surprised to reply. A rush of gratitude filling her, she said, “Since I know virtually nothing of how to conduct myself in Society, I shall need you to teach me. I should like tutors, too, for the pianoforte and history and literature and all those subjects I have not been able to study since Mama left. Of course, I wish to have gowns and shoes and all such necessities made up as soon as possible.

“But first, I waited so very long to be reunited with my mother, only to discover I will never see her again. Please, Aunt Lillian, would you tell me about Mama? Everything you remember, from the very beginning!”

Lady Darnell gave her a tremulous smile. “Of course, my dear. We first met when Diana just five years old…”

A
FTER HIS STEPMOTHER’S
disastrous reaction to Helena Lambarth, Adam had borne the afflicted woman to her bedchamber. Leaving her maid to minister to her, he’d hurried back downstairs to be told by the butler that both Charis and Miss Lambarth had retired to rest until dinner. Realizing there was nothing further he could do for the moment, Adam headed for the library.

Although Helena appeared to better account in the blue gown than she had in the rag she had been wearing when he’d first cast eyes on her, the impression she made was still startling. Lady Darnell’s fainting fit was his own damn fault, he acknowledged with a gusty sigh as he sat behind his desk. He should have anticipated such a strong reaction from his sensitive relation and, while waiting at the lawyer’s office for Helena to have her dress fitted, sent his stepmother a warning.

Too late for that now. Still, he knew Lady Darnell’s desire to take in the girl was heartfelt and genuine. Hopefully once over the cataclysmic shock of meeting Helena, she would deal better with her.

He certainly hoped so, for otherwise he had no idea what he would do with her. Though he’d promised her a warm welcome, he could hardly insist that his stepmother care for someone she held in abhorrence. Nor could he, in good conscience, send the girl away to live alone in London.

Pushing that worry aside, he opened his account books to tackle the more immediate problem of finding somewhere the money to make the repairs his agent had written were essential for the tenants at Claygate Manor.

His humor soured further as he played that finan
cial shell game. Several hours later, after resolving the matter as best he could for the moment—and promising himself he would look into the courting of Miss Standish with all speed—he closed the ledgers and headed to the parlor to see if his stepmother had recovered enough to present herself for dinner.

Pausing on the threshold, he spied the three ladies on the sofa, Miss Lambarth and Charis sitting to either side of his stepmother and leaning toward her as she spoke.

“Lord Lambarth pursued your mama from the moment she appeared at her first ball,” Lady Darnell was saying. “Diana liked him well enough…until Gavin Seagrave arrived halfway through the Season. Oh, the look on her face when she saw him—and he her! I was standing right beside her, and knew with dismaying certainty that very instant that theirs would be a Fatal Passion!”

“Why dismayed?” his sister asked. “The Seagraves are connected to an earldom, are they not?”

Adam shifted his gaze to Helena. Her lips parted in a half smile, her eyes glowing, her whole face and body radiated the dynamic intensity that had struck him when she smiled at him in the lawyer’s office. A vibrancy so luminous one actually did not notice the thinness of her face and frame.

But more than that, she looked
happy.
A deep sense of satisfaction settled in his gut and he offered a swift prayer of thanks that despite their inauspicious beginning, the ladies were obviously now on cordial terms.

Quietly he retraced his steps. Since he was promised
to dine at his club anyway, he’d leave Helena to bask in Lady Darnell’s memories of her mother and consult his stepmother about her future later.

H
ALF AN HOUR LATER
, Adam entered White’s. His return from the army was still recent enough that several gentlemen, former Oxford mates or London acquaintances whom he’d not yet seen, came up to greet him, slowing his progress to the dining room where his best friend Bennett Dixon awaited him.

Dix rose and tossed down his newspaper as Adam approached. “At last! I’d about given you up!”

After shaking his friend’s hand, Adam threw himself into the chair opposite. “Sorry. I was skirmishing with the account books and lost track of time.”

Beckoning to a waiter, Dix nodded. “Devil of a job, bookkeeping. Hope you won the battle.”

“Barely. Johnson wrote informing me that the roof of the dining parlor at Claygate leaks. Not wishing to scare off the new tenants who will soon arrive, ’tis imperative to repair it. I can’t afford to lose the rent.” Sighing, he shook his head. “And to think, I used to believe all I need do was get my carcass back to England before some Frog dragoon skewered it, and all would be well.”

After ordering dinner, Dix looked back at Adam, sympathy in his gaze. “A bloody shame, your father wasting away as he did. Stands to reason everything went awry, with no hand on the helm for so many years.”

“Enough bleating about finances. Let me tell you
the most exceptional news.” After pausing to sip his wine, Adam recounted the circumstances behind the arrival of Helena Lambarth. “So,” he concluded, “after collecting her from the lawyer a few hours ago, I conveyed her home.”

“How old did you say she is?”

Adam swallowed another sip. “Twenty.”